Ever wonder if your child with Asperger’s will . . .

Get a decent job?

Get married?

Get a good set of friends?

Of course you have. Every parent does. It’s totally natural to
worry about the future.

But is it helpful?

Maybe not.

These goals may seem seem impossible at the moment. But no
matter how hard you try . . . you still worry and fret. Often late at
night. But nothing you can do to instantly fix it.

However there is  an alternative . . .

I heard a mom recently talking about her 90 day plan. Basically
she will always focus on just the next 90 days ahead. Doesn’t
have to be THAT exact , however you get the idea. About 1/4 of a
year at a time.

That way you still look ahead.

But it’s more manageable. More controllable.

Put practical plans in place and properly prepare your child for the
future.

Yet NOT get freaked out by the bigger picture – which is just too
far away to directly effect (but brings a whole heap of negative
energy/worry).

Why not give it a try?

You might find you like it.

To 90 day plans,
Dave Angel

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Here’s footage of Jermaine Gardner’s recent Autism Awareness concert.

Jermaine has Asperger’s and is an absolute piano genius (also happens to be blind too).

Both he and his mom (Jacqui) play an active role in our members community at Parenting Asperger’s. Jermaine often dispenses real gems of information from the Asperger’s perspective, with a definite “straight talkin’ – no hold barred” approach!

Please enjoy his work . . . share this inspirational piece on social media . . . and please comment too if you like it:

To aspie piano geniuses,

Dave Angel

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Shared a great image on Facebook recently.

It was made to look like a nutrition label which you get on the
side of food tins and packets. Said “Asperger’s Nutrition
Facts”.

Listed off the *ingredients* of an Aspie; just like they do on food labels.

It got a ton of reaction from people who loved it. Here’s how it was:

?Total Honesty 110%

?Introverted 75%

?Logical 95%

?Determined 100%

?Anxiety 85%

?Underestimated 97%

?Awesome 12397%

There was a little more detail too (you can see the image at:
https://www.facebook.com/dailyaspergerstips/photos/a.841578192601472.1073741828.821279691297989/989185601174063/?type=3)

I thought it was fab.

Would look great on a tshirt. Or another idea would be a
“Top Trumps” style card game of famous (or not so famous)
Aspies. You could rate aspies like Temple Grandin, Darryl Hannah,
Stephen Shore, Heather Kuzmich, Gary Numan, Dawn Prince-Hughes
and more on various skills. Then play against each other “top
trumps” style.

I really enjoy sharing these type of images on Facebook. In fact
there is a ton of amazing content on there  for parents. I wade through
it and share the best of it with members in our discussion group. If
you’d like to join us:
https://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/1908.cfm

To nutritious Aspies,
Dave Angel

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Cat in the Hat . . . The Grinch . . . Green Eggs and Ham . . .
I love Dr. Seuss. Wonderful, wacky and very positive about difference. So I wanted to share a few quotes from the books (and what they can mean for people with ASD).

1. “Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one
alive who is you-er than you!” (From: ‘Happy Birthday To You’)

Really reflects the unique nature of everyone on the spectrum.
All different. All got their own little quirks and ways of going
about life.

2. “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”

So much is made of the need to conform. For most Aspies that’s a
really tough job. Yet they have such talents that can be
remarkable. But the “social” obsessed world we live in
doesn’t give them chance to shine. We must all help them do so.

3. “Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”
(From: ‘I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew’)

This relates to determination. No matter what challenges are
thrown, we all have the ability to fight back and try to
overcome. As parents or children – we need to take control.

4. “I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have
lots of good fun that is funny.” (From ‘The Cat in The Hat’)

A great reminder to all parents. In amongst the tough times,
doom, gloom and challenges there will be a light moment
somewhere. Keep your eyes open I’m sure you’ll find them.

To green eggs and ham,
Dave Angel

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A new type of comic in town.

A dad in the UK produced “The Department of Ability”
featuring superheroes with disabilities – https://www.facebook.com/The-Department-of-Ability-1463121457321060/

The hero leader uses a flying, jet-powered wheelchair to zoom to
the rescue. Pawsy, a  cheetah, has a solar-powered running leg.
Azazzatz (and alien) has a bionic arm to punch bad guys.

A great idea for promoting people with disabilities. Got me thinking . . .

What might an Aspie superhero look like?

How about these for size:

Debating Darius – Leaves all villains in a quivering heap of
tears after he destroys them with debate. His facts, attention to
details and dogged determination win the day.

Genius Georgina – This super aspie woman is the QUEEN of
technology. She uses computer programs so sophisticated and
‘other worldy’ – she’s always 2 steps ahead of the crooks.

Focused Felipe – He painstakingly puts together clues and
information. Spends night after night with his laptop and a huge
bottle of soda – poring over the information until he has the
criminals banged to rights.

Technical Tracy – She can look at the most complicated criminal
codes and blueprints – analyze them in seconds. Then calls in
the Feds to make the arrest.

What do you think? Got any good ideas for an Aspie comic book
hero? Please let me know . . .

To Aspie comics,

Dave Angel

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Got an email from a mom.

Her son plays online games with others. Sometimes they use the
term “autistic” to describe someone as silly (“you are SO
autistic”).

Quite rightly this lad gets upset and wonders what to do. Sadly
it’s pretty common. I’m sure you’ve probably heard people
(mis) use the term to describe something negative.

In fact it happens in public life more than you’d think too:

* A flawed White House study back in 2008 stated Russian leader
Vladimir Putin had autism (I’m pretty sure it wasn’t meant in a
complimentary way)

* Last year Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was called
“autistic” (by Israeli minister Avigdor Lieberman) in an apparent slur.

* In 2012 Rapper 50cent was caught in controversy when he
attacked a young man on Twitter as “looking autistic”.

But why?

It’s part of a sad trend where perfectly fine words (at the
time) to describe conditions; are subverted and used to insult.
Same with words like retard, spastic, bipolar, ocd – all can be
turned into negative insults.

What can this young man do?

Depends on how sensitive he is. He may want to avoid these guys
altogether. It’s pretty hard to educate people in an online game
chat. They may well continue to be bigots (perhaps even more so).
So he’d need to be careful he doesn’t stir up a hornets nest that
could really hurt him. It’s all too easy for others to be “brave” when
you’re online – without caring how much you’re hurting someone.

If he wants to address it head on?

Start by whipping the insulters in the online game for starts!
The BEST way to get some quick respect from them. Then asking
them if they even know what autism means. Likely they don’t.
Then drop some seriously cool (autism) names which may impress
them enough to consider changing their view like Jason Zimmerman
(professional online gamer), Clay Marzo (star surfer), Darryl Hannah
(Hollywood actress).

Sad topic to chat about in the year 2016. But  a lot still to be done
for acceptance and understanding.

For free daily Asperger’s tips – http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/Daily-Aspergers-Email-Tips.cfm

To better understanding,
Dave Angel

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“I DEMAND to see the manager. This man is no good and I want
another waiter”.

Another unhappy restaurant customer.

However this goes beyond the normal whining diner. His waiter was
Andy Foster. A 45 year old on the autism spectrum. Andy had only
being working in posh UK restaurant Grenache for 3 weeks. Trying
to get some extra cash together to supplement his role as carer to
his mom with Alzheimer’s.

It’s not even like Andy was doing a bad job . . .

He got decent tips on other tables, and the manager was happy
with him.

Exact details are unclear. My guess . . .

Perhaps the eye contact wasn’t perfect . ..  the expected
“buttering up” of high paying diners was not at the expected
level.

Whatever.

The service of the meal was professional. Which is surely what
counts (?)

But the manager did something amazing.

First he talked to the diners. Explained Andy was on the spectrum
and they were more than happy with his work.

Mr. Snooty replied:

“I don’t understand why you’d give SOMEONE LIKE HIM a job here”

Wow!

Tolerance. Equality. Respect. All bundled in to one . . .

NOT!!!!

How dare he?

Fine he didn’t know the facts at first. Maybe expected a certain standard
for his expensive lunch (Not my cup of Darjeeling – but fair enough).

But when he knew there was a reason . . .

He may have known little about autism.

But must have at least HEARD of it.

(Not like it’s been a secret for the past 10 years or so. More
and more in the papers, news, TV shows, films.

Must have known (even just a little) that it may make the job of
waiter; a bit more tricky.

Then show maybe . . .

An ounce of compassion?

No Mr. Snooty decides to go further.

Questions the managers on hiring someone on the spectrum.

I’m not naive. I know this whole “acceptance” battle is
far from won around the world.But hey – this kind of blatant
discriminatory, nasty, small minded nonsense is not cool.

NOT

ONE

LITTLE

BIT!

Anyhow . . .

A happy ending:

The manager Mike Jennings fought Andy’s case on social media.
An amazing Facebook post which read:

“Today was spent rebuilding the confidence of one of our team,
after being disrespected and socially discriminated by a table
dining with us last night.

‘What is wrong with him’ and ‘Why would you give him a
job’ they asked . . .

Here at Grenache we employ staff based on experience, knowledge
and passion for the job… NOT the colour of their skin, or the
way they look, how many tattoos they have, their dress size,
religious beliefs or illness. We do not discriminate!

If you DO … Then please do not book a table at Grenache. You do
not deserve our time effort or RESPECT!”

Way to go Mike.

Perfect riposte.

And shame on the ———– ———- ———- (fill in your
own words here) diners who were so uncaring.

Not cool. Not at all.

Seems the battle for acceptance far from won. But some great people
out there prepared to speak up.

To acceptance,

Dave Angel

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Alyssa’s a girl with ASD I featured about 18 months in one of
my emails.

At the time she was really struggling with anxiety – but her
pets helped her through it. And she was fund raising for a local
cat shelter, to say thanks.

Fast forward . . . she’ s now 11.

Still loves animals. Still loves helping them.

She’s been volunteering at a local wildlife center- which has
been very supportive of her.

As well as the animal work – she is SO passionate she is
fundraising for the charity (to build a hedgehog hotel).

Even got her own website.

By focusing on her passion (animal care) she is making new
friends, learning social skills, learning a role at the center,
answering letters and emails, and running her own website.

Much fun for her now.

Much good for her efforts at job hunting later on in life.

It fits neatly with some of my recent emails about the
importance of volunteering and gaining experience.

If you’d like to see her efforts online, read about what
she’s doing, or help contribute to the Hedgehog Hotel please
visit Alyssa’s webpage: http://www.savethewildlife.co.uk/ (and
I’m sure she’d really like it if you left her a comment).

To volunteering with animals,
Dave Angel

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It’s thought at least 80% of people on the autism spectrum are unemployed.

But why?

Well on a SOCIETY level . . .

Is it prejudice?

Yes sure that’s part of it. Most employers don’t understand
autism and are probably a little *scared* of it.

Is it expectation?

Again that’s played its role. With statistics like this – is
it any wonder that many people with ASD don’t feel they can get
a job? The evidence isn’t exactly in their favor.

Is it the education system?

Well an emphasis on academic achievement above-all-else, means
that many kids just don’t have the practical life skills they
need. So yeppers that’s a factor too.

What about on a more INDIVIDUAL level . . .

Is it applying for jobs?

Most Aspies are not good at selling themselves. That natural
*bolstering* of CVS would seem false, fake (maybe even WRONG) to
them. So the average application process is likely a problem.

Is it interviews?

Yes, yes, and yes some more. MOST people regardless of ASD hate
having to ‘perform’ at interviews. But when you take in the average
aspie’s struggles with social anxiety, lack of social skills, sensitivity
issues and more. It’s not a good format. At. All.

Is it the workplace?

Yes again. So many unwritten (social) rules. Office gossip.
Office etiquette. Dynamics of interpersonal relationships
everywhere – a nightmare web to untangle. No wonder most with
ASD really struggle with this stuff.

Well here’s the thing. There’s not a whole lot I can do today
about  the prejudice . . . low expectation . . . or education system. Except
keep the conversation alive with you good people.

But the personal stuff . . . I can help with . . . Choosing the right career.
Sending in good job applications. Preparing for interviews.
Surviving the first days, weeks and months at work. Yep it’s
all covered in my new resource “How to Get and Keep a Job for
Young People with Asperger’s”: http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/Aspergers-Job-Guide.cfm

Inside you’ll discover:
?6 great careers for people with Asperger’s (page 7)
?A little known, controversial, tactic to launch your child into
employment. Divides expert opinion, yet REALLY WORKS! (page 4)
?10 basic skills your child needs to get a job (page 2)
?An 8 step job application plan. Gives young adults with ASD the
best possible chance of an interview  (page 20)
?Should you tell employers about an Asperger’s diagnosis? Here’s
1 sneaky approach proven to work (page 11)
?16 reasons why your child should volunteer (page 17)
?What should your young aspie do when asked to lunch with other
employees? (page 58)

For full details – http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/Aspergers-Job-Guide.cfm

?Small workplace issues quickly escalate to BIG  PROBLEMS. Your
child can follow this simple 7 step formula to tackle ANY problem
effectively. (Suggestion: Print – Laminate – Put in their
wallet). page 78
?16 survival tips for your young person’s first week at work
(page 44-63)
?The pros and cons of online “virtual” working for aspies
(page 14)
?What NOT to put on your resume (page 29)
?4 ways to handle job rejections without your young person giving
up (page 40)
?A simple method to handle office politics (page 49)
?One essential question your child needs to practice, for
interview success (page 33)
?An “obvious” way to create the right impression at work –
your child may not know (page 46)
?And loads more . . .

To reserve your copy now:
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/Aspergers-Job-Guide.cfm

To employment opportunity,
Dave Angel

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Truly terrified.

His eyes bulged like a rabbit in the headlights of an oncoming
truck. Choking on his words. Couldn’t say what he wanted.

What had happened to this poor man?

Quite simply – a job interview.

Paul is on the autism spectrum – and recently featured on a UK
TV show called “Unemployable me”.

He’d already suffered through 100 interviews. ALL agonizing. 
ALL excruciating. ALL unsuccessful.

The TV camera was on him – as he was painfully going through
another experience of “death by interview”.

Yet he was determined. Somehow got some words out. Supportive
nods & grins from the interviewer. He spoke more. You could see his
hope slowly lifting . . .

Then amazingly the interviewer  offered him a 2 week trial working on I.T.

During the trial he does well (solves a computer problem no one else could.)

At the end of the trial he pens an emotional thank you speech which he reads
aloud to the whole staff group (a MAJOR breakthrough for him).

At the end – not a dry eye in the room.  The manager stands up, chokes back
the tears, and OFFERS HIM  A JOB!

A truly remarkable moment caught on camera.

However if they weren’t such understanding employers  it would have been a
VERY different story. More rejection. You can see why there’s such a link
between depression and ASD. Such repeatedly painful, experiences take their toll.

In my new resource “How to Get and Keep a Job for Young People with Asperger’s”
(produced with mom and autism expert Kerri Stocks) we guide you through the process.
So you can help your young person:

* Choose the right career . . .
* Discover good job opportunities . . .
* Successfully apply for jobs . . .
* Pass interviews . . .
* Cope with the first few days, weeks and months of employment . . .
* And much more besides . . .

Interested? You can find out all the details at: http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/Aspergers-Job-Guide.cfm

To finding work,
Dave Angel

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