When I interviewed veteran teacher and author, of “Teaching Children with Autism …”, Dr. Christy Magneson, I asked her to give me her 3 best tips for parents of children with Asperger’s in school.

Here’s what she shared:

Tip #1 – Trust Yourself

“Parents know their children better than anyone else, better than even somebody like me.

I have studied these kids all these years and I think I know them, but I don’t know them as well as you might if you are the parent of a person with Asperger’s.

So, first thing, trust yourself.

If your child doesn’t want to go to school, there’s a reason. You need to investigate that.You need to trust your instinct.”

Tip #2 – Advocate

“You need to be an advocate.

And I don’t mean that to say you should be aggressive. But I think you may need to be assertive.

So, for example, you have a brand new teacher that’s working with your child.

Let’s help them along. Let’s not be aggressive. Let’s be patient. But let them know what your child is like, what he needs or she needs, and how that best can occur.“

Tip #3 – Keep on running

“This is a marathon.

It is for all of us who are parents, but please be patient and take steps rather than giant leaps to get your child to where he or she needs to be.”

I hope these 3 short tips were helpful. If you’d like even more tips – I’ve put together my recent School Parenting Q&A emails into a short free mini-course. You can get it at:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3hX2R2DTT1JlRMX&b=3cFPkinmBKEam9M1fyWZwA

To school success,

Dave Angel

PS Inside the fr-ee mini-course is:

• ORGANIZATION – “What has worked for other parents?”

• MIDDLE SCHOOL – “Tips for first day success?”

• BULLIES – “How to avoid being bullied at high school?”

• NEW SCHOOL – “How can I help my son be ok with changing schools?”

• MORNING ROUTINE – “I struggle with getting him to take a shower & go to school on a daily basis , what can I do?”

• KICKED OUT OF LESSONS – “My son gets sent out of class for being “disruptive”, how to approach the school?”

• FITTING IN – “How can my son make friends in class?”

• HOMEWORK – “My son struggles with homework – WHY?”

• HIGH SCHOOL – “Help! How can I prepare my teen?”

To get your fr-ee mini-course:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3hX2R2DTT1JlRMX&b=3cFPkinmBKEam9M1fyWZwA

We recently had a chat about the pros and cons of using meds. for anxiety, in our Facebook group.

As you may imagine – a mixed bag of responses to such an emotive topic.

Most agreed it’s part of a bigger picture. Not the be all and all.

Starts with consulting a psychiatrist. Then lots to think about. Including:

* Possible talking therapy (particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

* Ensuring any counselor you do use understands ASD (many don’t).

* If drugs are the option you try – then keep notes. Lots of different drugs. Have different effects ( and side effects). Your

feedback to the prescriber is essential. May take a few different types to find the right drug.

* Often drugs can be used short term to “take the edge off” raw emotions. With counseling then able to tackle thoughts processes

more effectively.

* Herbal med’s can help too like Valerian Root and Rescue Remedy Flower essence.

DISCLAIMER – I’m not a doctor so first take advice from a medical practitioner before pursuing any course of action – the above are a combination of helpful

suggestions from our parenting support group.

And talking of our parenting support group. If you’d like a safe space to share your parenting challenges, and ask questions, then we have

over 230 parents, professionals and adults with ASD in our private Facebok group, all living a life with Asperger’s each and every day. Full details on how you can join us at:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3an9ET48T1JlRMX&b=FX7CiyXVZvxXdiazT4n3Pw

To helpful answers,

Dave Angel

Here’s a line of advice I got from a parent:

“Don’t sweat the small stuff. Save the fight for when it really matters.”

Total-us correct-imus (as the Romans may venture!)

There’s so much out there you have to react to, each and every day, as a parent.

You can’t do it all.

In fact I was just reading an article where one mom, of a child with additional needs, compared her experiences as a parent to a jar of peanut butter.

Why?

Well each day a jar of peanut butter has it’s contents slowly emptied with each dip of the knife.

In the same way – each day this mom had portions of her energy and personal strength taken out of her, just coping with life.

Eventually the jar is 99% empty and you’re scraping around for the last tiny bit.

That’s how she felt on so many days . . . scraping around for just a little energy and drive to carry on.

Maybe you feel the the same too?

It’s a tough place to be no doubt. So please don’t sweat the small stuff.

Unless it’s pretty important and significant in the grander scheme of things – just leave events alone.

Otherwise the negative energy of constant reaction, to every little thing, will suck you down.

Way down.

Not a place you deserve to be.

Sure there’s time to get riled up and fight your corner. You have to. Basic survival for you and your child.

But other times just let it go – you must for your own well being.

For more parenting survival tips:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3kx.G7UiV1JlRMX&b=TTq0qyEH6b1oS5wT7WALog

To surviving,

Dave Angel

For many with Asperger’s – anxiety is huge.

The world around them is a confusing place with rules and expectations they just don’t know.

So it’s little wonder a lot of children and adults with ASD, live in a state of frequent anxiety.

All kinds of approaches can be used to help lessen anxiety. But for today here’s 5 quick phrases for you to try out to help your child’s anxiety:

1. “I’m here you’re safe.”

A good general supportive phrase, to make your feel child feel OK and grounded.

2. “Tell me about your worry”

Let your child articulate. Out of the head it can be a lot easier to cope with.

3. “How big is this worry?”

This may always come back as ‘massive’ to start with. But over time you may be able to help your child compartmentalize into bigger and smaller worries.

4. “What would you like to tell your worry?”

Take control. Helps empower your child to talk back to the particular worry, and challenge it.

5. “Draw it”

May be better for some to draw the worry. You can chat about the colors and images they come back with. Again opening the debate – can make it less scary.

Try them out – let me know how you get on (or if you have other phrases you find helpful, please let me know).

Anxiety is a big issue – but it can be worked with. In The Parenting Asperger’s Community we have an entire eBook devoted to tackling anxiety in children with ASD.

For more details:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3ciNdZdsCLJlRMX&b=GJ4dK7gG6NZo97ou7eUwhQ

To lessening anxiety,

Dave Angel

As I’m sure you know – children with Asperger’s struggle in school.

ONE reason is apparent lack of interest.

This can be misread by teaching staff as unmotivated or lazy.

Certainly not true. Approached the right way – most kids with Asperger’s are SO motivated it’s a job to stop them, once they get started.

The real problem?

It’s generally an Aspie thought process.

“Why would I do this very dry, uninspiring piece of math work when it has not interest/relevance to what I like?”

Not really linked to their interest . . . so not really interesting!

So heartening to hear of a teacher who “got” this. A mom (Marie) in San Francisco wrote to tell me about a math teacher:

“My daughter struggled with this subject for years until she met a teacher who listened to his students. For my daughter math

problems centered around her favorite activity: Shopping. Seeing her light up with excitement was wonderful. For another

student it was shoes, another was football. This one teacher opened up a subject these students had given up on by listening

and playing on each individuals interests”

Wonderful to hear.

Teachers have a tough job. The paperwork . . . big class sizes . . . huge expectations from their departments . . . etc. So it’s

little wonder many can’t see the wood for the trees when it comes to kids with additional needs (like Asperger’s).

But when a teacher does understand and go the extra mile . . .

What an amazing difference they can make in a pupil’s life.

And talking of school pupils. If your child has just started back for the new school year (or it’s looming soon) you can get tips and methods

on how to help your child get the best out of school in The Asperger’s School Stress Buster Program. For more details:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3VtchRv7iLJlRMX&b=MYrAwetbCgp_sgXsLXbQqg

To educating children with Asperger’s,

Dave Angel