Earlier this week I mentioned Patrick Almond.

A 30 something aspie from London who, after a period of hospitalization, has his own gallery art show.

His is an amazing story. But not without it’s challenges.

In a recent interview Patrick talked about his sensory meltdowns. I found it really insightful, and figured you may too:

He said:

“I often experience sensory overload that tends to result in me shutting down. I have meltdowns where I just explode. It’s not

something I decide to do, it’s something that just happens.”

These ‘meltdowns’ are so extreme he may black out and have no memory of what happened.

His behaviors can change too. On occasions he will head bang until he is unconscious (and even been hospitalized).

If that doesn’t really give a strong visualize of the impact of sensory overload – then I don’t know what does . . .

To be SO over-stimulated you repeatedly smash your own head off hard objects, and end up in hospital, just shows how tough it can be.

It’s such a huge issue for people with ASD to cope with.

Minute by Minute.

Hour by Hour.

Day by Day.

And one reason that sensory friendly classrooms, sensory friendly shopping hours in stores, and such like are amazing innovations.

Otherwise it’s such an uneven playing field, that it’s little wonder statistics are so poor for school achievement and employment for those with ASD.

The good news?

There are some techniques you can use to reduce sensory overload. And help your young person with ASD develop skills to cope better.

We cover them on the Parenting Asperger’s Community website. You’ll find articles on sensory integration . . . stimming . . . therapies . . .sensory issues in school and much more.

To gain access to these (and over 680 total articles on parenting a child with Asperger’s) ==>

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To solving sensory problems,

Dave Angel

“I view ‘autistic’ as a word for a part of how my brain works, not for a narrow set of behaviors and certainly

not for a set of boundaries of a stereotype that I have to stay inside,”

Amanda Baggs (Blogger with ASD)

Agreed 1000%.

Once people start talking about behaviors and what they ‘see’ autism as – judgements quickly follow. E.g. many think that:

* People with ASD show no emotions.

* People with ASD are all geniuses.

* People with ASD don’t want to be with other people.

All totally inaccurate and over-generalized stereotypes.

Why do people think this?

As humans, when we come across something we don’t understand (which is the case for many who don’t understand ASD) we look to make sense . . .

By pulling together snapshots of information we may have heard, read or seen.

A famous example is the Dustin Hoffman/ Tom Cruise movie ‘Rain Man’. – from which many people learnt the ‘emotionless genius’ stereotype.

And many still do think this accurately represents autism, even today.

As you know it’s a wide spectrum. A whole host of different people all around the world.

Different skills. Different challenges. All coming under this label of ASD.

Autism Spectrum Disorder.

But wait . . . Let’s look at that last word again . . .

DIS-ORDER.

Ugh!

Screams out there’s something wrong – ‘we’ve got an imperfect human’.

Which continues the negative view of people on the spectrum.

Not to mention the laughable, unsaid, assumption that in fact there is some kind of ‘perfect human’

We’ve all got faults.

All got challenges.

So who’s got the right to start saying people, who happen to have a diagnosis on the autism spectrum, should automatically be ‘less than’ in some way?

Doesn’t seem exactly fair.

Maybe everyone needs a ‘disorder’ label, to even things up.

Let’s think . . .

For me I’d be something like HBQSLCDD Disorder.

Human Being whose Quite Shy and Lacks Confidence Deep Down Disorder.

Not too catchy but sums me up in pretty negative terms.

Slightly tongue in cheek (though pretty true). But imagine for a second if this was the case.

Would this affect how others think of me?

Almost definitely.

Would it affect how I behave?

Yep probably would too.

(There’s a whole psychology theory called ‘labelling’. Which says that if you’re repeatedly given a certain label e.g. “criminal”,

“delinquent” you’re likely to internalize it, and then act like the label).

So words (and labels) are important.

Which is why I’m railing a little about the ‘Disorder’ in ASD.

One simple way to start changing this is the D.

Not Autism Spectrum Disorder.

But Autism Spectrum DIFFERENCE.

The brain works a little differently. Not better, not worse. Just different.

That way the negativity and value judgement is gone. Less of a label, more of description.

Evens things out a little more.

It’s amazing what one little word can do.

And if you’d like more positive and interesting ways to look at raising your child with ASD then head on over to:

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Where we offer nothing but positive and supportive advice for parents just like you.

To changing words,

Dave Angel

Dr. Lamar Hardwick was diagnosed with ASD aged 36 (after decades of social anxiety and sensory processing issues).

He’s now a father, husband and church pastor in Lagrange, Georgia.

(And a really great advocate for the autism community who I love following on Facebook).

He recently shared 1 particular sentence people say to him, at least once a day:

“You look tired”.

He’s quick to qualify this:

“I don’t just look tired. I AM tired”.

He explains it’s due to the sheer effort it takes to get through each day.

His brain does not filter out the smells, noises and visual distractions he comes across.

Explaining in TV terms he says:

“My life is lived in HD 1080p, all day every day. You may be 480p, and that is being generous.”

(For the non-techy:

1080p is the higher end big screen color Plasma TV type experience. BIG sounds. Huge details.

480p is the much earlier TVs. Still quite clear in noise and picture. But quieter, less intense).

So he gets ALL the sensory experiences on a very high setting.

Raw. Bright. Totally 100% in his face.

(Whereas for many of us not on the autism spectrum – our brains naturally filter these experiences, making them much easier to cope with).

No wonder Lamar’s constantly tired. It’s just a battle to get through the day.

And this likely affects your son or daughter too. Explains why they come home so exhausted after a day at school (or college/work).

Sure you probably know this already. But a helpful little tip I hope. And if you enjoyed this little tip, and would like even more, then take a look at The Parenting Asperger’s Community. It’s like

an online encyclopaedia of all things Asperger’s. With 1000’s of parenting ideas and tips. For more details:

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To better understanding,

Dave Angel

Recently one of the moms in our online support group asked a question . . .

“Has anyone tried to remove electronics from their child completely? . . . As I feel this may help change some of my son’s negative behaviors”

As you can imagine this was a pretty hot topic.

Whether child, teen or adult . . . the world of electronic gadgetry is a BIG draw for most these days.

Throw in a diagnosis of ASD – it’s humongous!

Why?

Lots of reasons.

But 1 major reason for kids on the spectrum is that it’s a ‘safe place’ . Where they don’t have to work out the constantly changing

rules of social situations. Nor suffer the huge anxiety that goes with it.

I digress slightly. Back to the question at hand . . .

Most moms who responded said they’d pondered the idea of a NO ELECTRONICS zone.

But thought that their child would be so devastated they hadn’t dared try it!

Except one mom; who pulled the plug on the internet for 8 months.

She described her daughter (with ASD) as becoming so much more friendly, creative, interactive and an avid reader of books.

She concluded honestly by saying “It can be rough sometimes but man – sooooooooooooo worth it!!!”

Not saying it’ll work for everyone.

Complete electronics detox is tough . . .

It depends on you, your child, your home set up and a 1001 things unique to your situation.

But it can be done. And can bring amazing results.

This was just an example of one of the many topics we discuss in our members only Facebook support group. From motivating your

child . . . to school IEPs . . . to difficult behaviors . . . to adults finding work . . . and so much more. We all chime in to offer ideas, suggestions and positive support. Of course I’m

biased – but I don’t know of a more positive or supportive group online. It’s a strictly ‘troll free’ zone – full of parents who know what you’re going through. If you think this might

be helpful to you then the link for more details is: clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3bOnIndSdnJlRMX&b=Tfq0fq8K84lOrU1GVwPbZw

To sharing,

Dave Angel

I was reading about a guy called Patrick from North London (in England).

He had struggled for years. But never quite knew why.

In 2016 it all came to a head, when he was sacked from his post as a trainee teacher.

Distressed, he turned to his local doctor. Unfortunately he didn’t help either.

Patrick began self harming, and was hospitalized after an attempt on his own life just before Christmas last year.

Such a horrible low point.

However I’m glad to say 2017 has brought much brighter days.

In hospital Patrick contacted his local politician who helped him get a diagnosis (of ASD) and pushed for him to have therapy to

cope with anxiety, low moods, and his new diagnosis.

Patrick gained an emotional support dog and started art therapy.

6 months on and it got even better . . .

He was invited to give talks at various UK autism events this summer, about the benefits of art therapy for people with ASD.

Better still . . . this November he has a solo exhibition of his art work in a London gallery.

I’m sure you’ll agree – that’s some road to recovery.

Not gonna pretend this is typical.

Not gonna pretend Patrick will have no more problems.

But shows what can happen.

With the right backing (his politician) and the right help (in this case art therapy and a dog).

I just wanted to share this positive example today, because you may be stuck in a rut right now . . .

Could be your child’s struggling to get back into school after summer vacation.

Could be your teen’s having a tough time ‘fitting in’ with peers.

Could be your adult son or daughter seems to be ‘going nowhere’ (no job, no college, no motivation . . .)

Whatever the case. Things can (and do) change. Nothing stays the same forever.

So please take heart.

Keep searching for ideas and approaches which may just make the difference. It may only be a tiny thing

that moves you and your child forward (remember big doors swing on small hinges). But it’s out there . . .

Best of luck in your search and ongoing efforts.

And if you want some help to make this a little easier . . . we’ve got you covered in The Parenting Asperger’s Community. There’s over 683

articles, 30 ebooks & ‘expert interviews’, and a monthly newsletter all about parenting young people with Asperger’s. (Plus a hugely supportive Facebook

group to help you move forward quicker, by ‘piggy backing’ on the experiences and ideas of other parents). For full details: clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3VuWbZHgynJlRMX&b=XAOxZ6BlqGtrLbyFIEx6JA

To inspiration,

Dave Angel

In my experience successful parents show some pretty similar qualities. Here’s 7 common ones.

1. Research – Not easy to find the energy. But for parents who do research; it helps SO much to understand issues, take the

right actions , and hold their own with professionals. Whether books, the internet, or seminars – it’s a huge advantage.

2. Patience – Again not easy. But it goes a long way helping your child to learn, develop and grow. Also much better for you

physically and mentally if you can, at least sometimes, “step back” from situations and make calm decisions.

3. Determination – You need an iron will and determination. Whether it’s consistently adopting a particular strategy to help

your child, or fighting to get the services your child needs. And the key? Polite determination. Putting informed points across to

your child or professionals in a calm manner (NOT being Mr. or Mrs. Angry/Shouty).

4. Sense of humor – You only get one life, so do you really want to live it without joy and laughter? There are funny moments

happening every single day and it’s so it’s important to enjoy them. ** Even amongst the inevitable tough times. **

5. Expressing Emotions – I have spent many an hour with parents weeping inconsolably about their children. I’ve also been on

the receiving end of some harsh verbal volleys too. But no matter what – I’d rather that than silence! Parents who cope best

with their emotions are those who learn to express them (through crying, talking, shouting or screaming). Negative emotions are

toxic. They need to be released – before they damage you.

6. Being ruthless – When necessary, you need to be as ruthless as the most hard-nosed business person. Particularly in the

battle ground of IEP meetings and the like. Whether it’s mentioning recourse to legal action, or staring the principal in

the eye openly questioning their commitment to your son – there is definitely a time and a place to be ruthless.

7. A good support network – Not rocket science; I’m sure you know the importance of good friends and family. The parents who

survive best have these people in their life. Friends or relatives who can swoop in when life is tough and drag you off

for a coffee, a laugh, or sympathetic ear. Whether local, or online, or both. They are invaluable.

Pretty sure as you’re proactive enough to take the time to read this you’ve got all 7 qualities (or pretty close anyway). So keep on keeping on . . . doing the

absolute best you can as a parent, each and and every day. Through the good times and the bad. And know, you have my absolute respect for doing so.

And if you’d like to join our group of like minded parents, who support one another through the day to day experiences of raising a child with Asperger’s,

go to:

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To parents,

Dave Angel

Homework.

Not exactly a fave topic for most kids with ASD.

Why?

Well there’s a whole host of reasons like:

1. They’re exhausted after a day in their noisy . . . busy . . . bright . . . overcrowded classroom.

2. They want to get on with their special interests, not homework.

3. They are easily distracted at home (TV . . . movies . . . gaming . . . internet and more in easy reach).

4. They lack the organizational skills.

5. They become SO anxious.

6. They struggle with understanding the work.

7. They see school as school, and home as home, not to be mixed.

8. They can’t see the point in it (WHY do I have it do it mom?)

9. They find writing or typing hard.

10. Some days they just “don’t feel like it”

11. They lack confidence to do the task.

Many more reasons too . . .

No wonder it can become such a battleground.

For you and your child.

It’s tough all round. Which is why we produced a special report simply called “Homework for Children with Asperger’s”, to tackle these

problems and offer real life practical solutions. You can download a copy at The Parenting Asperger’s Community

website, when you join as a member. If you think this resource may be of help to you (and your child) you can take

a trial membership subscription today at:

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To taking the work out of homework

Dave Angel

PS Here’s some more details of exactly what’s in our homework guide:
• The #1 WORST mistake when asking your child to do homework (page 18)
• Why time is such a BIG cause of homework meltdowns (page 6)
• A simple solution when your child forgets homework (page 9)
• 6 ways to improve your child’s concentration (page 19)
• Exact steps to take when your child is OVERWHELMED (page 21)
• Color coding – a quick and easy method to help your child get organized (page 14)
• “If it’s not perfect what’s the point?” Understanding the mindset of your child with Asperger’s (page 6)
• Why parents can sometimes be the problem, when it comes to homework (page 7)
• What to do if your child just CAN’T get started (page 22)
• The #1 question you must ask to solve ANY homework problem (page 5)
• Get homework done first . . . THEN fun activities. You’re asking for trouble if you don’t do this. (page 20)
• Simple 2 second daily task reduces homework tensions (page 23)
• The real secret of using your child’s special interest for homework motivation (page 26)
• A sneaky way to have your child do their homework with little fuss (page 17)
• The absolute best time to meet with your child’s teacher (page 13)
• Why M&M’s are a handy homework helper (page 25)
• Why a quiet room with no distractions ISN’T always best for homework (page 27)
• The #1 reason children with Asperger’s REFUSE homework (page 5) . . .
• What to do when your child can’t see the point of homework . . . (page 32)
• What to do when your child doesn’t understand homework . . . (page 33)
• What to do when your child struggles with writing and/or typing . . . (page 36)
• What to do when your child finds reading a challenge . . . (page 37)

Grab your copy of “Homework for Children with Asperger’s” at ==>

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I’ve mentioned before that “How to win friends and influence people” (by Dale Carnegie) is a great book, which many adults with Asperger’s have found useful.

It’s a study of how to be effective with people.

First published in the 1930’s but been reprinted through the decades. Because, save the slightly old-fashioned sounding words and examples, most is still VERY relevant today.

Was just reading a short part of the book which I wanted to share with you:

Carnegie (a famous entrepreneur and philanthropist of the 1930’s) once employed a man called Charles Schwab to be the president of his United States Steel Company.

For the crazy sum of $1 million Dollars per year (when $50 a week was considered well off).

Why did Carnegie feel Schwab was worth this much?

In Schwab’s own words:

“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people, the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.

I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”

This is a great tip for building social skills . . .

A well paid compliment can be huge for forging friendships.

People like to be liked (and I’m not talking in just a Facebook click button way either). It’s human nature.

So help your child to recognize achievement in others. Help them to articulate this in a positive way.

It can definitely go a long way in opening up friendships when you known how to give a kind and sincere compliment.

(Think about it – who doesn’t like to be praised?)

“How to win friends and influence people” is a great book packed full of these social nuggets. And it’s thanks to Cherie White that I’ve started re-reading it. She’s an adult with

Asperger’s whose transformed her life by reading classic self-help books and applying them.

In fact in her current column of the Aspirations newsletter, she shares several of her own favorite ways to develop friendships, when you have Asperger’s (they also come from

“How to win friends and influence people”).

To read these tips go to:

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where you can sign up to become a member of

The Parenting Asperger’s Community, and I’ll send you a copy of the latest members only Aspirations newsletter with Cherie’s article in it.

To friendships,

Dave Angel

Question:

How do I get family members to understand his behaviors aren’t deliberate?

Answer:

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome can do things others consider excessive, unkind, or rude.

They then get labeled: Weird . . . quirky . . . aggressive . . . crazy.

When a person doesn’t “get” Asperger’s or see what it looks like daily; they judge quickly.

Let’s face it. Asperger’s is complicated. It’s tough to shed light on all that it entails. Here’s 4 tips to create better understanding:

1. Becoming knowledgeable about Asperger’s will help you teach others.

You’ve researched and studies Asperger’s. Share your knowledge with your family. Tell them exactly how Asperger’s affects your child. Use personal examples.

2. Educate your extended family on your child.

Focus on them and not Asperger’s. It’s NOT a disease; it makes them who they are. Make a list of strengths & weaknesses with examples. Tell them about certain behaviors and why they occur.

3. Detail the frustrations of Asperger’s.

If your child is old enough, help them tell their own stories. What it’s like to struggle with: Social skills . . . Language and communication . . . Sensory issues . . . Delayed motor skills.

4. Talk about your hope for the future.

Be positive about their accomplishments to others. Tell them and others that they are capable; the world is their oyster. He may open that oyster a little differently, but he can get it open!

Most important to remember . . .

You cannot make others accept things they don’t understand. You can do everything in your power to educate your family and they may still choose to think negatively about your child.

C’est la vie – their loss, not yours.

Asperger’s does not have to be this negative ‘thing’. High achievers on the spectrum include Clay Marzo (surfer) . . . James Durbin (American Idol) . . . Susan Boyle (Singer) . . .

Dan Akroyd (Actor) . . . Lars Perner (Professor) . . . Dawn Prince Hughes (Anthropologist) . . . and so many more.

For more positive Asperger’s ideas, examples and strategies:

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Stay positive,

Dave Angel

I really love writing these daily messages to you.

Always enjoyed writing (comes from parents who were teachers methinks!)

Also thrive on the challenge of trying to find something new, and interesting to share, each and every day.

But most of all I enjoy being able to help.

Even if my email does just a tiny thing to help you, inspire you, or in any way give you an even vaguely positive emotion . . .

I’m truly grateful for the opportunity to do so.

The icing on the cake is when I get word back to say you’ve enjoyed a particular topic. And I had such a message last week:

“Dave, I needed to receive this tonight. Right now. Perfect timing. As always. It’s rather uncanny the way that you do this

so frequently. Thank you. You truly understand the plight of the parents of children with Asperger’s, the plight of the children

with Asperger’s, and now the plight of the single parent of children with Asperger’s. Kudos to you my friend. Richelle”

So thanks Richelle – I really appreciated the note. And only too happy to help.

And while I’m on the subject of helping . . . there’s a lot of parents out there who also looking for some kind of help too.

So I thought I’d ask you for a favor today . . .

If you enjoy these daily messages, and know of another parents who may do as well, can you let them know.

Just forward this email to them.

Or send them to the website where they can sign up for my fr-ee parenting book and daily tips: www.dailyaspergerstips.com

Or if they are more the Facebooky type – the fr-ee tips Facebook tips page is: clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3mZEsSrifXJlRMX&b=koGCpqNxMx.mRaNuHdLvuQ

Thanks for spreading the word,

Dave Angel