What’s your opinion on politics and ASD in your country?

Is enough being done?

Are there good initiatives being made?

Please share your thoughts below in the comments box . . .

Question:

I am not sure he has been properly diagnosed. He was assessed by the school board’s psych associate when he was 5 years old. His parents had just divorced and his world was crumbling around him. The teacher suggested aspergers and ADHD and this is what was reported. I am a retired SPEC Ed. consultant and have been in contact with several aspergers children. None of them resembled my grandson. Although I know he has problems, I am not convinced his diagnosis is the right one.

Answer:

It is not uncommon that children receive the incorrect diagnosis of Aspergers. Many medical and educational professionals believe that they have the qualifications to diagnose Aspergers when they do not.  It takes a great deal of specialized knowledge to make a diagnosis of Aspergers in children.  It is okay to question the diagnosis of your grandson because he could very well have an inaccurate diagnosis.

Here are a few things that you can do to help your grandson in school and in life.

• You have the right to request a re-evaluation.  The special education personnel at your grandson’s school should offer free testing to diagnose his condition.  Depending on the school or area, testing usually takes place every three years.  If the time has been less than 3 years, you have a right to request another evaluation of your grandson to identify any changes in his condition.

It is usually required that the parent or guardian has access to the child’s school information or to request testing and meetings, but if you are not the legal guardian, the parents may have to make these arrangements. It may take a few days or a few weeks to get your grandson retested.  It really depends on the workload of the person testing him.

• You can seek outside testing for your grandson.  Parents and guardians have a right to seek testing for their children from outside sources.  The only drawback to receiving this type of diagnosis is that the parents and guardians are responsible for paying for the visits. It may take several appointments to get a diagnosis, and the professional making the diagnosis may order expensive tests as part of the diagnosis process.

This is not meant to deter you from seeking an outside diagnosis, but you should know that there are costs involved.  Once you receive the diagnosis from the outside source, you should bring the information to your child’s school, meet with the special education personnel, and discuss the findings so that you all can figure out how to move forward with your grandson’s needs.

• Your grandson should also receive counseling.  It may be a good idea to request counseling as a part of your grandson’s education needs. His parents’ divorce could affect his education and the matter should be addressed.  You can seek outside counseling if you do not feel comfortable with the services he receives in school.

If you believe that the diagnosis is incorrect, you should persist until you feel comfortable with the diagnosis.  It may be a good idea to receive a diagnosis from at least 3 Aspergers professionals to determine if the diagnosis is correct.

Question

Should a pleasant 5 year old be in school with peers when this is his greatest phobia?

Answer

For children of all ages with Asperger’s, school phobia can be a serious problem.  The social element is one of the main reasons children struggle in the school setting.  Other reasons include sensory issues, anxiety, various triggers, and difficulties with change and transitions.  Leaving the comfortable routine of home to begin school can be especially difficult for any five-year-old.  In most cases, the child can adapt.  In some cases, the child may need extra support to make this adjustment.

Unfortunately for your child with Asperger’s school phobia, school attendance is mandatory by the ages of 5-7 in most states.  Contact your local board of education to verify your state’s compulsory school attendance age to be certain.  If possible, you can delay starting school until your child reaches the compulsory age.  There are advantages and disadvantages to this option.  Make sure you consider how this may affect your child’s future.  If this option seems unreasonable, here are a few additional suggestions.

• Speak with your child’s current therapists (if applicable) to determine an appropriate plan to conquer this phobia.  They can help prepare your child for the upcoming school year during therapy sessions. The therapists may also advise on whether delayed school entry is a viable option.

• Work on coping skills to help your child manage his phobia.  You must determine what triggers his phobia and what the exact problem is.  Is it the sensory issues of crowds, smells, and sounds?  Is it the social issues of relating to other people?  Once you know you can use cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to teach him proper coping skills.  You can learn more about CBT from your child’s current therapists or by searching the library and Internet for information.  Basically, CBT helps the child recognize that his emotions affect his actions.  Once realized, the child can learn to control his emotional responses.

• Contact your child’s school and request a meeting with the special education coordinator.  It will help to start the special education process as soon as possible.  Having a medical diagnosis of Autism before enrollment should help you get special education placement and accommodations.  Even if the meeting with the special education department does not produce quick results, it will help prepare the school for your child’s challenges and help you being to build a relationship with school administrators.

There are many benefits from going to school for children with Asperger’s school phobia.  Besides the educational benefits, school can provide an excellent source of therapies and social opportunities when the proper support is in place.  However, education is not one-size-fits-all.  Private schools specializing in Autism and homeschooling are also viable options to consider.

Good luck,

Dave Angel

Question

Are there classes geared towards teaching kids how to get the most of their talents instead of focusing on their deficits?

Answer

Focusing on your child’s strengths is very important to their development and their self-image.  Finding ways to highlight their talents is one of the best things that you can do for your child.  Finding classes that teach children to get the most out of their talents may be available in your area, but there are also other things that you can personally do to help your child as well.  The following are tips to help your child get the most of his or her talents:

Talk to people at the child’s school and in the community about classes.  Taking classes to focus on the talents of a child with Asperger’s is very good.  There may or may not be opportunities to take classes at the school or in the community.  Asking around is the best way to find such classes. Also contact your local Asperger’s groups to see if there are options available for your child.  In the event there is nothing available, you may want to get with others to see if you all can create classes that will help those with Asperger’s focus on their talents.

Use the child’s talent to help others.  Your child may be very proud that he or she is able to show someone something that they may not know. For example, if your child is good at higher level mathematics, he or she may be able to tutor other students who are struggling to understand how to complete their mathematics assignments.  This can also be a tool to help your child gain new friends and interact with others as well.

Host a community information fair.  You may want to consider getting with other parents of children with Asperger’s so that you all can create a fair to showcase the talents of your children.  You can have information  about Asperger’s available for those in the community, and you can have booths set up to display the talents of the children.  It doesn’t have to be a really big event—just something small in the community and hopefully the event grows over the years.

There is nothing better than allowing a child with Asperger’s to show off his or her talents to others. Doing so will help him or her boost their self-value and confidence, and he or she can leave knowing that their talents are appreciated, and valued among their families and those in the community.

Thanks,

Dave Angel

Question

How do you deal with the negative behaviors of Asperger’s  (e.g. temper tantrums and having no empathy for other family members) on a daily basis?

Answer

For families living with Asperger’s, negative behaviors can seem to dominate the atmosphere, leaving an air of contention over the entire household.  The tantrums, rigidity and lack of social communication skills can do real damage to family relationships.  It helps to remember that these behaviors are a direct result of some type of difficulty your child is facing and struggling to overcome.  Examples of this may be times of transition, like changing from play time to homework time, or outside interferences interrupting his special interest time.  Dealing with these negative behaviors with punishment almost always seems to make matters worse.  The child feels attacked for trying to communicate in the best way he knows how.

For weary parents of children with Asperger’s, negative behaviors can seem too routine and too overwhelming to correct.  It can be done by creating a plan.  Parents must first identify each negative behavior and its cause.  Each family member can contribute to this step, which should be done without the child’s knowledge.  No one wants to see and hear a list of his worst attributes.  However, the negative has to be identified before it can be conquered.  Here are some additional suggestions to help complete this process.

• Rate each negative behavior to decide what needs immediate attention.  List the behaviors, the causes, the desired behaviors, and the supports needed for each problem behavior you hope to correct.  Once you have a complete list, you can start working on each behavior one at a time.

• Use rewards to reinforce positive changes and behaviors.  Special treats like candy and stickers make good rewards for young children.  Older children work well when they earn points they can save up for big rewards.

• Remind family members to offer the suggested support instead of a negative reaction.  The repetitive nature will help reinforce the desired behavior.

• When negative behaviors crop up, remain calm.  Suggest a time out for everyone if tempers flare.  This is not a punishment, but a chance to regain composure and calm attitudes.

When dealing with Asperger’s negative behaviors, remember to recognize your child’s feelings.  Most negative behaviors stem from frustration due to a lack of communication skills.  As your child matures, this ability should mature with him, naturally reducing his negative behaviors.  If you fail to see improvement once you implement your behavior modification plan, your child may need outside help to make positive changes.

Thanks,

Dave Angel

How do you teach your teenage son with Asperger’s about appropriate dating behaviors and interacting appropriately with the opposite sex? 

Dating is an important rite of passage into adulthood for your teen with Asperger’s.  Relationships can be difficult for him to form and maintain for several reasons.  The biggest influences are usually the lack of appropriate social skills, the struggles with sensory sensitivities, and the sometimes overwhelming anxiety.  Even though it sounds difficult to overcome, many teens with Asperger’s Syndrome are not only able, but also successful in this area.  Teaching your son about appropriate behaviors within the dating scene is a great place to start.

For a teen with Asperger’s, relationships within the peer group, whether dating the opposite sex or friendships with both sexes, hold much merit.  These types of relationships signal typical behavior, meaning success in this area will help your teen fit in among his typical peers.  If your teen has a couple of good friends, he will likely move into dating relationships with some ease.  If not, you can start by teaching him basic friendship skills.  Here are some ideas to help you get started.

• Make a list of your teen’s interests and positive qualities.  Use this list to form some ideas on where to find possible friends.
• Help your teen find like-minded peers that can become his friends.  Name peers from school, church, extended family, and your neighborhood that are possibilities.  Concentrate on those with similar values and interests.
• Become the hang-out house.  For example, invite your teen’s peers over for pizza and video games.  There is less pressure within a group.  Watch for obvious friend connections.
• Encourage group plans like movies outings, skating, and bowling.  Keep your teen’s sensory issues in mind.  If he is uncomfortable in noisy, brightly lit places, you want to stay away from those types of events.  You want him to be in his best element.
• Role-play appropriate behaviors and responses for many different situations.  This is a common teaching method for kids with Asperger’s Syndrome.
• Watch movies about friendships and critique the action on the screen.  Use the pause button during the parts that need special attention.  You can use this teaching method to show your teen both proper and improper behaviors.

As your teen with Asperger’s relationships build, you can be assured that dating is achievable.  You can use the same tips above to teach about dating relationships.  Make sure to concentrate on concepts such as body language, personal hygiene, and the art of conversation.  A lack of preparation in any of these areas can quickly derail a budding relationship.  With a little practice and your encouragement, your teen will soon be ready for the dating scene.

Thanks,

Dave Angel

Question

How do I discover the unique talents and skills of my child with Asperger’s and then how to help him use them to his advantage?

Answer

As parents, it is wise to learn the unique talents and skills possessed by your child with Asperger’s.  Strengths are usually directly related to your child’s special interests and can be used to shape your child’s future.  Focusing on your child’s God-given abilities and interests will allow him to grow his skills and develop his strengths into everything from enjoyable hobbies to possible career choices.  The resulting independence is what every parent dreams of for their child with Asperger’s Syndrome.

If you observe your child with Asperger’s, strengths or special interests will become obvious to you.  Many people think children with Asperger’s Syndrome all focus on similar interests.  They think Asperger’s means computer geeks or research scientists.  While these are two very popular areas of interests, your child’s interests will be unique to him and as varied and individual as he is human.  Here are a few additional thoughts about discovering your child’s talents and skills.

• Watch to see what activities or topics seem to absorb your child’s attention.  He may enjoy computer time, that’s true.  However, it could be certain computer activities that really grab his interest, or even a particular character or topic.  See if he focuses his computer use, television time, and book choices on a particular topic or character.
• What comes easily to your child?  Educational strengths, hobbies, and social opportunities in which he willingly participates will divulge clues to your child’s likes.
• Foster the interests that make your child healthy and happy.  A child with Asperger’s Syndrome can become obsessive, which can lead to an unhealthy balance.  Too much of a good thing often leads to trouble.  Help your child expand his talents and skills through his special interests by setting healthy limits you can both live with.

For your child with Asperger’s, strengths-based activities can encourage growth in so many developmental areas.  Use your child’s strengths to his advantage every chance you get.  Volunteer opportunities can allow your child to use his skills in a variety of situations.  Job shadowing settings will allow your child to practice his skills and learn more about possible careers.  This can lead to a summer or part-time job perfect for his unique talents when the time comes.  All of these scenarios can possibly strengthen your child’s social standing within your community-another win for him.  These connections can lead to exciting and fulfilling opportunities for your child with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Thanks,

Dave Angel

Question

Can you help me understand the issues of executive functioning with Asperger’s?

Answer

You may often hear people talk about the struggles with organizational skills that are usually a part of Asperger’s.  Executive functioning is the neurological process behind these struggles.  However, organization, or the lack thereof, is just a small part of a broader problem.  Executive functioning is a set of processes our brains use to create a connection between the things we have learned through our life experiences with what is happening in our lives right now.  We use executive functioning to make plans, to organize our lives, to build strategies to conquer our daily tasks, to concentrate and commit new things to memory, and to manage our time.  All of these functions work together to keep us regulated.  Weaknesses throw us off balance and threaten to derail us and everything we attempt to do.

These skills are usually a problem for children with Asperger’s.  Executive functioning skills issues vary widely.  Here are some examples of possible executive functioning problems.

• Your child may have time management struggles, from getting ready for school in an appropriate amount of time, to making realistic schedules for school assignments or household chore projects.

• Your child may find it difficult to form workable plans for short and long-term tasks.  For example, writing an essay calls for a specific set of steps such as, choosing the topic, conducting the research, creating an outline, writing a rough draft, and completing the final draft.  A child with poor executive function may complete the steps out of order, just to finish the assignment, not seeing the importance of the proper sequence.

• Your child may have trouble communicating, especially when it comes to giving the listener a comprehensive stream of organized details.  Social skills struggles compound this problem, but executive functioning definitely plays a significant part.

• Your child may find it difficult to commit information to memory. He may be able to recall past activities or events in great detail, and then be unable to memorize and recall the multiplication facts after years of study.

• Your child may seem to lack motivation, when in reality, he struggles to start tasks or form his own ideas in a timely manner.  He has the desire, but it gets lost in his lack of independent thinking.

• Your child may struggle to remember sequenced information while he is trying to use the information.  For instance, repeating his social security number or an account number when asked for it can be difficult.

When it comes to Asperger’s, executive functioning plays a major part in the child’s ability to make crucial progress in all areas of life skills.  I hope this explanation helps you better understand what executive functioning is and what it means for your child with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Cheers,

Dave Angel

Question

How can I get my child’s teachers to understand that it is not just being a teenager?

Answer

The teen with Asperger’s is often misunderstood, especially in the school setting.  Many teens exhibit questionable behaviors and motives, creating friction in the classroom.  Some students, like your son, may simply struggle with the classroom processes.  Often, since the child’s struggle is not academic, it is misunderstood.  These struggles lead to behavioral problems in the classroom.  Some teachers may fail to recognize the difference, particularly if the student’s behavior interferes with classroom instruction.

It is important that your teen with Asperger’s is properly supported in the educational setting.  As the number of students with Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome rises, school administrators are becoming more sensitive to the students’ special needs.  Teachers are more aware now than ever about the behavioral issues that can accompany Asperger’s.  However, the spectrum of Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome makes it difficult to pinpoint the challenges and strengths in individual students, expressly because most students with Asperger’s are highly intelligent and academically proficient.  Here are a few suggestions that may help.

• Write a letter to your teen’s school teachers, counselors, and therapists.  List your child’s relevant medical history, his special interests, his strengths, and his challenges.  Include any personality quirks (we all have them!) that tend to cause trouble or concern.  Keep the letter short and simply written.  Teachers are swamped with paperwork and are more likely to respond positively to a bullet list than a wordy novel.
• Express your concerns regarding your teen’s classroom behavior and how his teachers perceive him as a whole during his annual IEP meeting.  Speaking to the team will allow you all to share how your teen’s strengths and challenges affect his behavior.  This will educate all of your teen’s team members and allow you all to develop a behavioral plan to be included on his IEP for his protection.
• Do not hesitate to meet one-on-one with each of your teen’s teachers.  Supply his teachers with current information regarding Asperger’s Syndrome.  You can print up-to-date brochures and check lists by visiting the websites of national support organizations.  Highlight your teen’s specific areas of strength and concern.
• Be involved in your teen’s education.  Teachers are much more receptive and willing to work with students when his parents show interest in his daily exploits.

Try not to make excuses for your teen with Asperger’s.  You will find, as he ages that he is fully capable of typical teen behaviors.  Most likely, he will purposely push his teachers’ buttons on occasion.  After years of atypical behaviors, it is be nice to watch your child do things you were not sure he would ever do, even if some of these things are not exactly positive in nature.  It shows that you have raised a developmentally struggling child to be a functional young man in spite of Asperger’s Syndrome.

Thanks,

Dave Angel

Question

Why does my daughter with Asperger’s think it is OK to lie- even when it is obvious that she will be caught at not telling the truth?

Answer

It is often said that, for children with Asperger’s, lying is not possible.  Children with Asperger’s can be very rigid thinkers, seeing things as either black or white, with no room for grey areas.  They also tend to be rule followers.  The concept of lying goes against these qualities.  However, not only is the concept of lying possible, it is probable that your child will push the boundaries of truth at some point and tell a few whoppers.  Why?  Because humans have free will and that free will allows each of us an opportunity to question the boundaries.

In some cases, co-morbid conditions like OCD and Anxiety Disorder play a part as they pair with Asperger’s.  Lying can become an obsession, a compulsive behavior, or a symptom of anxiety due to these additional conditions.  Children with Asperger’s Syndrome may justify lying in these instances.  You can be sure that your daughter has justified lying or she wouldn’t take the chance of getting caught.  It is important that you get to the heart of the matter.  Here are a few suggestions.

• Your daughter must have a set of rules to follow.  Rules and routine create order.  When there is order, there is calm and obedience.  Make sure your daughter is aware of the house rules regarding lying, as well as the consequences if she is caught.
• An evaluation with a psychologist or neuropsychiatrist can reveal additional problems that may contribute to your daughter’s habitual lying.  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Anxiety Disorder are just a few possibilities.  Sometimes treating the symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome and other co-morbid conditions will improve negative behaviors.
• Talk therapy can help your daughter express her reasons for lying.  Maybe lying makes her feel more important or more in control of the outcome of certain situations.  A trained counselor or family therapist may be your answer.  Your daughter’s school can give you information on therapy options in your community.  Your pediatrician can offer referrals.
• Children with Asperger’s sometimes feel alone and invisible.  In some instances, lying is a child’s way of seeking attention.  It doesn’t matter if the attention from getting caught in a lie is negative; it feels good just to be noticed.

For children with Asperger’s, lying can be a symptom of something much bigger and much more complex than telling a story for the sake of a lie.  With some investigation, hopefully the reason for your daughter’s behavior will be revealed and managed.

Thanks,

Dave Angel