Heard about a Young man with Asperger’s working in IT.

Did really well – closed 200 support tickets in his 1st month.

Surely his boss would be pleased?

Apparently not.

He fired him as “he wasn’t a good fit” and “he made others insecure”.

Sad.

And the worst thing?

This guy had tried REALLY hard at the social side too. In his own words:

“I went to work outings and even ordered a drink. I said “bless you” when people from across the room, sneezed. I

followed to smoke breaks despite not smoking a day in my life.”

Mixed in with others AND great skills yet he still gets fired.

Just awful.

The poor young man went on to say:

“I don’t really think there is much chance for those without caregivers or hardcore autism parents, who essentially do

everything for the child.”

Which is where you come in . . .

I know you don’t do everything for your child (you’re too smart for that).

But you do a lot, for example:

Guiding their studies . . . Helping with job applications . . . Researching for openings . . . Prepping for interviews . . .

Teaching social rules . . . and more . . .

I hope this sad story inspires you to keep on keeping on.

As there ARE opportunities out there (e.g. my message last week about companies who are actively seeking employees with ASD).

And with your help; your child can find and grab them with both hands.

And if you’d like more practical hints, tips and ideas to help your child develop a better future: clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3kR1WfphhLJlRMX&b=qbx.RGeYt84tHMdNJX4htg

To the future,

Dave Angel

Last month a mom called Julie got in touch.

She sent me a video of a short (3 minute) speech her 16 year old

daughter Hannah gave to her sophomore English class, explaining Asperger’s.

It’s lovely to watch and really inspirational, in my humble opinion.

You can watch it online at:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3Xyh6zkQh5JlRMX&b=ZqydHwTs7Tvof.mIOA9qmA

(And if you like video please leave a short comment for Hannah

and her mom, as I’m sure they’d appreciate it)

To inspirational teenagers,

Dave Angel

One of the challenges of parenting a child with Asperger’s is managing your own mental state.

Endless questions. Endless worries. Often no obvious answers.

This came across really clear in a message I received several months back from a mom. She had a variety of questions for me.

Just a few of which were:

Has he got Asperger’s or am I just looking for things?

Will an actual diagnosis help or hinder?

How is this going to affect his attitude towards school and learning?

What must my family be thinking?

Have I got Asperger’s myself and not actually noticed?

She herself said she was definitely ‘over thinking’ these things.

But, to me, it felt like she really couldn’t help it. These questions all bouncing around in her brain. Trying to find

answers. With the cruel irony being that – the harder she was trying to get such answers . . . the harder they were to find.

This is a common problem for many parents – who just have too many issues to try to resolve.

And the key words are . . . TOO MANY!

It’s a bit like that old quote (ascribed to a US army general Creighton Williams Abrams Jr. who served in Vietnam):

“When eating an elephant take one bite at a time”

Means take things slowly – 1 step at a time. You cannot possibly solve 5, 10, 15 different problems at once.

Try and you just get overwhelmed. So pick 1 important issue or question. Research it more. Get some opinions. Then with time you may

find a solution. Try the solution and see how you get on. If it works – then great; on to the next issue. If not – back to the drawing board and look again.

The point being don’t take on too much at anv time. Prioritize problem #1 and work on it. That way you shouldn’t get so over whelmed and may

have a “little victory” which you can build upon. And if you’ve got specific questions you’d like answering about raising your child with Asperger’s then you can get a

great deal of help and support from us at: clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3f5e7mHnm5JlRMX&b=erXik9VHGvSyiaLvVpZGIQ

To simple solutions,

Dave Angel

Last month a mom called Julie Rosenfeld got in touch.

She sent me this video of a short (3 minute) speech her 16 year old daughter Hannah gave to her sophomore English class, explaining Asperger’s.

It’s lovely to watch and really inspirational, in my humble opinion.

If you like video please leave  a short comment for Hannah and her mom, as I’m sure they’d appreciate it.

To inspirational teenagers,
Dave Angel

Today’s a short one.

Mo Bailey – A mom, advocate and contributor here at Parenting

Asperger’s is working on a new project which could benefit you.

She’s collecting information on the challenges that children &

adults with Asperger’s struggle with when it comes to language

and communication.

Her plan is to then design some helpful tools and solutions, with

other people in this field, which she’ll share with you.

If you’re able to help this research – Mo would be delighted

to hear from you.

The link to her survey is:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3iTak2sSG5JlRMX&b=3n.p5QWgwXOS65PWOgo2ow

To solutions,

Dave Angel

PS Mo has published an article with more detail; on this survey if

you’re interested – at clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3iTak2sSG5JlRMX&b=RDNMMbNFhzh1V6nHMX8BWQ

The exact numbers vary – but it’s probably fair to say around 80% of adults with autism or either unemployed (no job) or

under-employed (few hours, not working at the level there skills dictate).

But luckily some companies are looking to change this. They can see the value of individuals with ASD and are actively recruiting

them. Here’s 22 of those companies:

* 1. Walgreens – US pharmacy chain
* 2. Freddie Mac – US mortgage company
* 3. Microsoft – Worldwide software company
* 4. SAP – Worldwide Software company
* 5. Towers Watson – Global brokerage company (UK opportunity)
* 6. Hewlett Packard Australia – Computer printer company
* 7. ULTRA – Tech company in New York
* 8. Specialisterne – Software company based in Denmark but worldwide programs.
* 9. Autonomy – Chicago office staff company
* 10. Rising Tie Car Wash – Florida car wash
* 11. Home depot – US DIY store
* 12. Ford – Michigan based opportunities with car giant
* 13. People Like Us – Small Danish brewery
* 14. Vodaphone – German company, offering UK opportunities.
* 15. Aspiritech – Software company in Chicago
* 16. Nobis works – job placement for people with ASD in Georgia
* 17. Exceptional Minds – animation training for young adults with ASD in California
* 18. Extraordinary ventures – North California. Various opportunities for adults with autism.
* 19. Roses for autism – Farm and flower delivery in Connecticut
* 20. Spectrum designs – Job opportunities in Long Island for adults with ASD in clothing business
* 21. Asperger Works – Run by Parenting Asperger’s member Eva Rajczyk in Lawrence Massachusetts to help adults with ASD find work.
* 22. Spectrum Careers –An online work portal to find opportunities for people with ASD.

And if you are at the start of your journey to help your teen with ASD find work; you can get help from our free report called “How to help

your teen with Asperger’s choose the right job or college course” at clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3n1rITwMG5JlRMX&b=2zUpy5guHtmNQUwkyZge.Q

To working,

Dave Angel

There’s a pretty famous theory (in the psychology world at least) called Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Maybe you’ve heard of it?

Devised by Abraham Maslow to understand what motivates people. He says humans have 5 levels of need.

Level 1. Biological and Physiological – air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep.

Level 2. Safety – protection from elements, security, order, law, limits, stability, freedom from fear.

Level 3. Love and belongingness – trust ,acceptance, affection being part of a group (family, friends, work).

Level 4. Esteem – achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, self-respect, respect from others.

Level 5. Self-Actualization – realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

The theory is that we start at the first (most basic) level. Then when we have achieved #1, we aim for the next one . . . This carries on right through

to #5. Which is the lofty goal of self-actualization.

Like any theory its pretty general. But I think it’s a helpful reckoner to look at your child/ teen / adults life.

I see this hierarchy in the many messages I get from parents wondering how their child’s life will turn out.

On a base level:

Level 1 Physical needs – The need for life’s basic like a roof, money for bills and food. The worry is that your child may

never find the means to sustain this independently.

Level 2 Safety – Vulnerability to others who may exploit. Also parents worry about involvement with police who may

not understand your child or their way of thinking (and risks this could bring).

Moving on up:

Level 3 Love and belonging – A huge fear that your child will never sustain relationships, friendships and enjoy the sense of

love and belonging they deserve.

Level 4 Esteem – This is a big concern. Generally esteem can come from a job, a role, something meaningful in life. But as

many with ASD struggle to fit into employment and the traditional ‘roles’ of this world – esteem is a big issue too.

Level 5 Self actualization – This is perhaps the least worried about, as it can seem so far off. The other 4 are more important, and tough enough to deal with.

This is really the bigger picture stuff about a ‘life well lived’ and such like. Still a nagging doubt for many of you – but probably dwarfed by the 4 others.

I think this is a helpful model. And in future emails I may break down each stage, and offer ideas and suggestions if you think that would be helpful

(please let me know if this would be of interest to you, and I’ll put it on my ‘to do’ list).

And if you’d like help addressing some of these issues right away you can get a free copy of report “How to help your teen with Asperger’s choose the right job or

college course” at clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3crxjK2XW5JlRMX&b=MOsrDTukFrUbPFAQrxjd.Q [ http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3crxjK2XW5JlRMX&b=DRmiN8gb_YrvwK0okrGMzg ]

To Maslow,

Dave Angel

Hi there,

It’s me – your teenage son’s future boss.

I really wanted to get in touch, because I know at the moment you worry if your son will ever get a good, stable job.

Now bear in mind I’m writing to you 10 years in the future; but there is good news:

Your son’s now all grown up in their 20’s and working for my company.

It’s been a couple of years now. But I’ll never forget the first day he turned up . . .

He’d sent in a great resume and application.

(Now I think of it – I wonder if you helped him a little? If you did then no worries, you did a great job).

On the interview day I saw him reluctantly get out of your car into our car park for the interview.

(Struck me as odd his mom was dropping him off – but now I realize he just needed that extra shot of confidence to get him going).

First impressions I have to say were not good. He couldn’t really hold eye contact and our handshake seemed to actually hurt him.

(I’ve since learned that eye contact is really tough for him and actually the handshake was painful).

But I just knew he had a lot to offer.

The interview went badly too. In fact after 10 minutes we were getting nowhere. So I took him out of the interview. Set him up in a back

room with a pc and one of our software programs. It had some kind of a bug in it we just hadn’t been able to solve. I left him for 30 minutes to take a look.

10 minutes later he knocked nervously on my door. He’d fixed it.

I hired him on the spot.

And since then he’s been solving all manner of tech. problems for us for 60 hrs per week. No don’t worry I’m no slave driver. His contract is 35 hours. But he

just loves his work so much – it’s a job to get him out of the office at night.

Now his employment hasn’t been problem free. Fellow work mates have thought he was aloof, rude, and even arrogant at times. However we’ve managed to educate

everyone to realize he is none of these things at all. He just has a brain that is wired slightly differently. And in fact he has a great sense of humor and is very humble,

once you get past those first impressions. And on the plus side he is just SO conscientious, hard working, talented at what he does, and honest.

What employer wouldn’t want him?

None of this came easy; I know that you and him submitted 57 job applications before he got this job. So I don’t want to pretend all employers are this understanding and knowledgeable.

But we are out there and it’s so great you stuck by your son and helped him to keep applying until he found a job to suit him (and then helped him to keep it).

So as you may only just be starting this journey – I recommend you grab Dave Angel’s free report called “How to help

your teen with Asperger’s choose the right job or college course” now to get things started at clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3e_yQzGq05JlRMX&b=RJdPJuVZMWH4F6Xz1stLKQ

See you in 10 years,

Your son’s future boss

PS – This message makes sense if you have a daughter too. But it seemed a bit odd writing ‘son/daughter ‘ in every other sentence – so I didn’t!

Yesterday was Father’s day.

Being a typical bloke I’m not huge on all the fuss that gets made. In truth I get a bit embarrassed by it all.

(The way I see it – it’s a privilege to get to raise your kids, not the other way round).

Certainly not ungrateful though . . .

Breakfast in bed – Peanut butter on toast and coffee.

Minion socks, Star Wars t-shirt and a variety of handmade cards.

So was well spoiled.

Even had a fun afternoon at the beach.

But of course when things are going well . . . problems aren’t too far behind!

We’d invited a few family members over for a BBQ.

But when I tried to turn the big gas BBQ on, I discovered the gas bottle was empty.

No drama – get a new one.

Off I trot in a boiling hot car around with 3 kids in tow:

Store 1 – Got empty gas bottles but no full ones.

Store 2 – Got full gas bottles but none the right size.

Store 3 – Nothing at all.

Store 4 – This was the big hope. An actual gas bottle store. Found it online and got their via Google maps phone app. in the car with 10 minutes to

spare. Only to find it’s shut on Sundays!

Store 5 – Yay success. A full gas bottle – the right size.

All smiles.

Rushed home. Fitted it all in. Turned on the gas.

Nothing.

Maybe the igniter’s broken?

Got matches. Lit them. Threw them all over the BBQ – twisting the gas tap all different ways.

(At that point turning into some kind of frenzied – heat stroked – BBQ Armageddon. Kids had wisely taken themselves

inside whilst dad’s face got redder and redder!)

Turns out the connector had broken. So gas BBQ was OFF!

Quick sprint to the local late shop. 2 disposable BBQ’s later. Blast off!

Burgers, mackerel, salmon, sausages, meat balls and more.

Calm restored in the universe after a hot and sticky hour.

Then later last night, post BBQ, I logged into our Facebook group. Mo Bailey, had put a father’s day post. Including a kind mention for me as the ‘father’

of Parenting Asperger’s. Which was really lovely and humbling to read.

But it made me think . ..

Mo’s in California. So was clearly father’s day in the USA too. And I’d NOT sent an email message re. Father’s Day as I

assumed it was on different days around the world (like Mother’s Day is). Turns out it’s the same day!

So it’s a day late and slightly rambling, via way of my minion socks and semi-failed BBQ , but Happy Father’s Day to any and

all dads, granddads, or other male relatives and role models helping to raise children with ASD.

(I know that I normally write more to moms. They make up about 90% of my readers so makes sense in many ways. But there are

definitely dads out there helping, supporting and doing their absolute best to raise their children every day. So hats off to

you all. We even have 1 or 2 of them hanging out in our Facebook support group too. Ando if you’re a dad and would like to join us,

we’d love to have you join us: clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3gFWE7UKW5JlRMX&b=7.JapIpRlZCWd2RoRUoPHA)

To dads,

Dave Angel

“Try to stay calm, always point out the positive aspects of Asperger’s, never cease to show your child how much you love

him/her and have faith in the future. Often things definitely will improve, even if you do not think so when they are very young!”

This is a great little inspirational tip shared with me by a parent recently.

Particularly if you have a young son or daughter with ASD.

In the beginning few years it is SO tough to get a handle on things. Problems arising at school (or even pre-school). The

feeling that things are not ’quite right’ with your child. Their struggles to fit in with peers and huge upset when they can’t.

Life can seem like a never ending series of problems when you’re in that place.

But over time – you learn. Your child learns. Still plenty of problems. But as years go by your experience and your family’s

resilience can strengthen. Meaning you cope that little better.

(Especially with the unconditional and all encompassing love you show your child.)

Then before you know it – the future is nearly here. Your child is in Middle, then High School. Then what?

Different challenges . . . Will they get their exams? Will they find a job? Will they develop enough skills to become independent?

The good news is that many adults with ASD report that they start coming into life much better in their 20’s and 30’s. Away

from the ‘high school jungle’ and awkward teen years. With the right help and support they can hopefully pursue more of what

they find interesting in life. So giving them a better chance of success in college, work and social circles. Because when

they’re around more like minded people – who enjoy similar things to them (be it work or leisure) the opportunity for

conversation and building relationship is much better.

And if you’d like a little help to look at college or employment options for your teen with ASD you can download my

short fr-ee report called ‘“How to help your teen with Asperger’s choose the right job or college course” at clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3gSUUtsErrJlRMX&b=Dumd4FOhUFnWUNw5rZnN9A

To future success,

Dave Angel