Below is my short story about Asperger’s.
The high divorce rate among parents of children on the autism spectrum can seem daunting. The stress of raising a child with Asperger’s can take its toll on a marriage, as anyone in this position knows. However, loving, guiding, and raising our 11-year-old son Griffin has only strengthened my marriage with my husband Tony.
Throughout all the meltdowns, confusing behavior, and unexpected reactions, at the end of the day, the one person who knows my son as well as I do is my husband. We can sympathize with and support each other because we know what the other one is going through. After a long series of visits to several doctors who misdiagnosed Griffin, we were finally referred to an excellent child psychologist who could tell us that, at age seven, Griffin had Asperger’s.
Up until this point, there was a lot of yelling, crying and misunderstanding from all three of us. And no matter which friends or family members I would talk to about the situation with Griffin, I never felt anyone really understood what I was going through. It was only when I would pour my heart out to my husband that I would feel a connection. Tony and I both wanted the same thing, to have Griffin be able to express his thoughts and function in daily life, without loosing our sanity.
There were times I would cry and Tony would listen to me, and vice versa. Sometimes we would both cry. Just being there for each other and knowing that we were both trying so hard to help Griffin strengthened our bond. We would brainstorm together new ways to help Griffin and new things to try that could benefit him. The love we have for each other and the love we have for Griffin was the driving force that made things work.
After the diagnosis, it took some time to accept it. We slowly realized that although things wouldn’t be as we’d always envisioned before we had children, if we stayed committed to our family, things would work out. With much therapy and love, Griffin has come a long way since his diagnosis four years ago. Although we can’t predict what he will be like in 10, five, or even one year from now, we do know that we will be together.
And we never forget that the difficult times have always been out shined with happy, fun times. Griffin’s point or view and how he sees the world is a gift to my husband and I. We have many inside jokes and “Griffin-isms” that only the two of us truly understand. Sometimes in public when Griffin does or says something a bit off, all my husband and I have to do is look at one another and smile knowing our son makes total sense to us!
Having a strong, healthy marriage is one of the greatest things we can give Griffin. He witnesses the love between us everyday which in return helps him feel secure and calm. Griffin cannot control the outside world, and doesn’t always know exactly what he will encounter at school on a daily basis, but one thing is certain: my husband and I will always work hard to provide Griffin with a secure, caring, and loving home.
Bio: My name is Lynn Wick and I am from Sussex, Wisconsin, USA. My son Griffin is 11 years old, and knows way more about computers than I do, as that is his special interest. My husband Tony and I also have a daughter, Sydney who is 9. I have been fortunate enough to be a stay-at-home mom since Griffin was born. Previous to his birth I worked in editing and writing, but have since become a bit rusty with it!