Recently one of the moms in our online support group asked a question . . .

“Has anyone tried to remove electronics from their child completely? . . . As I feel this may help change some of my son’s negative behaviors”

As you can imagine this was a pretty hot topic.

Whether child, teen or adult . . . the world of electronic gadgetry is a BIG draw for most these days.

Throw in a diagnosis of ASD – it’s humongous!

Why?

Lots of reasons.

But 1 major reason for kids on the spectrum is that it’s a ‘safe place’ . Where they don’t have to work out the constantly changing

rules of social situations. Nor suffer the huge anxiety that goes with it.

I digress slightly. Back to the question at hand . . .

Most moms who responded said they’d pondered the idea of a NO ELECTRONICS zone.

But thought that their child would be so devastated they hadn’t dared try it!

Except one mom; who pulled the plug on the internet for 8 months.

She described her daughter (with ASD) as becoming so much more friendly, creative, interactive and an avid reader of books.

She concluded honestly by saying “It can be rough sometimes but man – sooooooooooooo worth it!!!”

Not saying it’ll work for everyone.

Complete electronics detox is tough . . .

It depends on you, your child, your home set up and a 1001 things unique to your situation.

But it can be done. And can bring amazing results.

This was just an example of one of the many topics we discuss in our members only Facebook support group. From motivating your

child . . . to school IEPs . . . to difficult behaviors . . . to adults finding work . . . and so much more. We all chime in to offer ideas, suggestions and positive support. Of course I’m

biased – but I don’t know of a more positive or supportive group online. It’s a strictly ‘troll free’ zone – full of parents who know what you’re going through. If you think this might

be helpful to you then the link for more details is: clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3bOnIndSdnJlRMX&b=Tfq0fq8K84lOrU1GVwPbZw

To sharing,

Dave Angel

I was reading about a guy called Patrick from North London (in England).

He had struggled for years. But never quite knew why.

In 2016 it all came to a head, when he was sacked from his post as a trainee teacher.

Distressed, he turned to his local doctor. Unfortunately he didn’t help either.

Patrick began self harming, and was hospitalized after an attempt on his own life just before Christmas last year.

Such a horrible low point.

However I’m glad to say 2017 has brought much brighter days.

In hospital Patrick contacted his local politician who helped him get a diagnosis (of ASD) and pushed for him to have therapy to

cope with anxiety, low moods, and his new diagnosis.

Patrick gained an emotional support dog and started art therapy.

6 months on and it got even better . . .

He was invited to give talks at various UK autism events this summer, about the benefits of art therapy for people with ASD.

Better still . . . this November he has a solo exhibition of his art work in a London gallery.

I’m sure you’ll agree – that’s some road to recovery.

Not gonna pretend this is typical.

Not gonna pretend Patrick will have no more problems.

But shows what can happen.

With the right backing (his politician) and the right help (in this case art therapy and a dog).

I just wanted to share this positive example today, because you may be stuck in a rut right now . . .

Could be your child’s struggling to get back into school after summer vacation.

Could be your teen’s having a tough time ‘fitting in’ with peers.

Could be your adult son or daughter seems to be ‘going nowhere’ (no job, no college, no motivation . . .)

Whatever the case. Things can (and do) change. Nothing stays the same forever.

So please take heart.

Keep searching for ideas and approaches which may just make the difference. It may only be a tiny thing

that moves you and your child forward (remember big doors swing on small hinges). But it’s out there . . .

Best of luck in your search and ongoing efforts.

And if you want some help to make this a little easier . . . we’ve got you covered in The Parenting Asperger’s Community. There’s over 683

articles, 30 ebooks & ‘expert interviews’, and a monthly newsletter all about parenting young people with Asperger’s. (Plus a hugely supportive Facebook

group to help you move forward quicker, by ‘piggy backing’ on the experiences and ideas of other parents). For full details: clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3VuWbZHgynJlRMX&b=XAOxZ6BlqGtrLbyFIEx6JA

To inspiration,

Dave Angel

In my experience successful parents show some pretty similar qualities. Here’s 7 common ones.

1. Research – Not easy to find the energy. But for parents who do research; it helps SO much to understand issues, take the

right actions , and hold their own with professionals. Whether books, the internet, or seminars – it’s a huge advantage.

2. Patience – Again not easy. But it goes a long way helping your child to learn, develop and grow. Also much better for you

physically and mentally if you can, at least sometimes, “step back” from situations and make calm decisions.

3. Determination – You need an iron will and determination. Whether it’s consistently adopting a particular strategy to help

your child, or fighting to get the services your child needs. And the key? Polite determination. Putting informed points across to

your child or professionals in a calm manner (NOT being Mr. or Mrs. Angry/Shouty).

4. Sense of humor – You only get one life, so do you really want to live it without joy and laughter? There are funny moments

happening every single day and it’s so it’s important to enjoy them. ** Even amongst the inevitable tough times. **

5. Expressing Emotions – I have spent many an hour with parents weeping inconsolably about their children. I’ve also been on

the receiving end of some harsh verbal volleys too. But no matter what – I’d rather that than silence! Parents who cope best

with their emotions are those who learn to express them (through crying, talking, shouting or screaming). Negative emotions are

toxic. They need to be released – before they damage you.

6. Being ruthless – When necessary, you need to be as ruthless as the most hard-nosed business person. Particularly in the

battle ground of IEP meetings and the like. Whether it’s mentioning recourse to legal action, or staring the principal in

the eye openly questioning their commitment to your son – there is definitely a time and a place to be ruthless.

7. A good support network – Not rocket science; I’m sure you know the importance of good friends and family. The parents who

survive best have these people in their life. Friends or relatives who can swoop in when life is tough and drag you off

for a coffee, a laugh, or sympathetic ear. Whether local, or online, or both. They are invaluable.

Pretty sure as you’re proactive enough to take the time to read this you’ve got all 7 qualities (or pretty close anyway). So keep on keeping on . . . doing the

absolute best you can as a parent, each and and every day. Through the good times and the bad. And know, you have my absolute respect for doing so.

And if you’d like to join our group of like minded parents, who support one another through the day to day experiences of raising a child with Asperger’s,

go to:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3j7ouG2ELnJlRMX&b=8xO0fT2nHEADZkkxGCe4jg

To parents,

Dave Angel

Homework.

Not exactly a fave topic for most kids with ASD.

Why?

Well there’s a whole host of reasons like:

1. They’re exhausted after a day in their noisy . . . busy . . . bright . . . overcrowded classroom.

2. They want to get on with their special interests, not homework.

3. They are easily distracted at home (TV . . . movies . . . gaming . . . internet and more in easy reach).

4. They lack the organizational skills.

5. They become SO anxious.

6. They struggle with understanding the work.

7. They see school as school, and home as home, not to be mixed.

8. They can’t see the point in it (WHY do I have it do it mom?)

9. They find writing or typing hard.

10. Some days they just “don’t feel like it”

11. They lack confidence to do the task.

Many more reasons too . . .

No wonder it can become such a battleground.

For you and your child.

It’s tough all round. Which is why we produced a special report simply called “Homework for Children with Asperger’s”, to tackle these

problems and offer real life practical solutions. You can download a copy at The Parenting Asperger’s Community

website, when you join as a member. If you think this resource may be of help to you (and your child) you can take

a trial membership subscription today at:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3ViE0s.aOnJlRMX&b=PqhZb7dIWwx0WGnf78TgWg

To taking the work out of homework

Dave Angel

PS Here’s some more details of exactly what’s in our homework guide:
• The #1 WORST mistake when asking your child to do homework (page 18)
• Why time is such a BIG cause of homework meltdowns (page 6)
• A simple solution when your child forgets homework (page 9)
• 6 ways to improve your child’s concentration (page 19)
• Exact steps to take when your child is OVERWHELMED (page 21)
• Color coding – a quick and easy method to help your child get organized (page 14)
• “If it’s not perfect what’s the point?” Understanding the mindset of your child with Asperger’s (page 6)
• Why parents can sometimes be the problem, when it comes to homework (page 7)
• What to do if your child just CAN’T get started (page 22)
• The #1 question you must ask to solve ANY homework problem (page 5)
• Get homework done first . . . THEN fun activities. You’re asking for trouble if you don’t do this. (page 20)
• Simple 2 second daily task reduces homework tensions (page 23)
• The real secret of using your child’s special interest for homework motivation (page 26)
• A sneaky way to have your child do their homework with little fuss (page 17)
• The absolute best time to meet with your child’s teacher (page 13)
• Why M&M’s are a handy homework helper (page 25)
• Why a quiet room with no distractions ISN’T always best for homework (page 27)
• The #1 reason children with Asperger’s REFUSE homework (page 5) . . .
• What to do when your child can’t see the point of homework . . . (page 32)
• What to do when your child doesn’t understand homework . . . (page 33)
• What to do when your child struggles with writing and/or typing . . . (page 36)
• What to do when your child finds reading a challenge . . . (page 37)

Grab your copy of “Homework for Children with Asperger’s” at ==>

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3ViE0s.aOnJlRMX&b=PqhZb7dIWwx0WGnf78TgWg

I’ve mentioned before that “How to win friends and influence people” (by Dale Carnegie) is a great book, which many adults with Asperger’s have found useful.

It’s a study of how to be effective with people.

First published in the 1930’s but been reprinted through the decades. Because, save the slightly old-fashioned sounding words and examples, most is still VERY relevant today.

Was just reading a short part of the book which I wanted to share with you:

Carnegie (a famous entrepreneur and philanthropist of the 1930’s) once employed a man called Charles Schwab to be the president of his United States Steel Company.

For the crazy sum of $1 million Dollars per year (when $50 a week was considered well off).

Why did Carnegie feel Schwab was worth this much?

In Schwab’s own words:

“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people, the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.

I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”

This is a great tip for building social skills . . .

A well paid compliment can be huge for forging friendships.

People like to be liked (and I’m not talking in just a Facebook click button way either). It’s human nature.

So help your child to recognize achievement in others. Help them to articulate this in a positive way.

It can definitely go a long way in opening up friendships when you known how to give a kind and sincere compliment.

(Think about it – who doesn’t like to be praised?)

“How to win friends and influence people” is a great book packed full of these social nuggets. And it’s thanks to Cherie White that I’ve started re-reading it. She’s an adult with

Asperger’s whose transformed her life by reading classic self-help books and applying them.

In fact in her current column of the Aspirations newsletter, she shares several of her own favorite ways to develop friendships, when you have Asperger’s (they also come from

“How to win friends and influence people”).

To read these tips go to:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3W0YQaU8zXJlRMX&b=ktqXDHkn7fuU54VU3H2ePQ
where you can sign up to become a member of

The Parenting Asperger’s Community, and I’ll send you a copy of the latest members only Aspirations newsletter with Cherie’s article in it.

To friendships,

Dave Angel

Question:

How do I get family members to understand his behaviors aren’t deliberate?

Answer:

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome can do things others consider excessive, unkind, or rude.

They then get labeled: Weird . . . quirky . . . aggressive . . . crazy.

When a person doesn’t “get” Asperger’s or see what it looks like daily; they judge quickly.

Let’s face it. Asperger’s is complicated. It’s tough to shed light on all that it entails. Here’s 4 tips to create better understanding:

1. Becoming knowledgeable about Asperger’s will help you teach others.

You’ve researched and studies Asperger’s. Share your knowledge with your family. Tell them exactly how Asperger’s affects your child. Use personal examples.

2. Educate your extended family on your child.

Focus on them and not Asperger’s. It’s NOT a disease; it makes them who they are. Make a list of strengths & weaknesses with examples. Tell them about certain behaviors and why they occur.

3. Detail the frustrations of Asperger’s.

If your child is old enough, help them tell their own stories. What it’s like to struggle with: Social skills . . . Language and communication . . . Sensory issues . . . Delayed motor skills.

4. Talk about your hope for the future.

Be positive about their accomplishments to others. Tell them and others that they are capable; the world is their oyster. He may open that oyster a little differently, but he can get it open!

Most important to remember . . .

You cannot make others accept things they don’t understand. You can do everything in your power to educate your family and they may still choose to think negatively about your child.

C’est la vie – their loss, not yours.

Asperger’s does not have to be this negative ‘thing’. High achievers on the spectrum include Clay Marzo (surfer) . . . James Durbin (American Idol) . . . Susan Boyle (Singer) . . .

Dan Akroyd (Actor) . . . Lars Perner (Professor) . . . Dawn Prince Hughes (Anthropologist) . . . and so many more.

For more positive Asperger’s ideas, examples and strategies:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3miAOHaxPXJlRMX&b=DlZ3dz0oYsiIZktuQeQC9g

Stay positive,

Dave Angel

I really love writing these daily messages to you.

Always enjoyed writing (comes from parents who were teachers methinks!)

Also thrive on the challenge of trying to find something new, and interesting to share, each and every day.

But most of all I enjoy being able to help.

Even if my email does just a tiny thing to help you, inspire you, or in any way give you an even vaguely positive emotion . . .

I’m truly grateful for the opportunity to do so.

The icing on the cake is when I get word back to say you’ve enjoyed a particular topic. And I had such a message last week:

“Dave, I needed to receive this tonight. Right now. Perfect timing. As always. It’s rather uncanny the way that you do this

so frequently. Thank you. You truly understand the plight of the parents of children with Asperger’s, the plight of the children

with Asperger’s, and now the plight of the single parent of children with Asperger’s. Kudos to you my friend. Richelle”

So thanks Richelle – I really appreciated the note. And only too happy to help.

And while I’m on the subject of helping . . . there’s a lot of parents out there who also looking for some kind of help too.

So I thought I’d ask you for a favor today . . .

If you enjoy these daily messages, and know of another parents who may do as well, can you let them know.

Just forward this email to them.

Or send them to the website where they can sign up for my fr-ee parenting book and daily tips: www.dailyaspergerstips.com

Or if they are more the Facebooky type – the fr-ee tips Facebook tips page is: clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3mZEsSrifXJlRMX&b=koGCpqNxMx.mRaNuHdLvuQ

Thanks for spreading the word,

Dave Angel

We’re home decorating – so the noise of tearing wallpaper has been my sound track for the last 7 days!

But in the midst of this mind numbing activity – came an interesting parenting idea.

Let me explain-eth . . .

The previous 2 weeks I’ve been doing ‘mini rips’ (you know pulling a bit of wallpaper here and there, as I go about my daily business).

I thought this would make things quicker ,when I actually got started.

Turns out no.

These ‘mini rips’ didn’t clear the paper cleanly. Left loads of fiddly, tiny bits of half torn paper which took ages to scrape off.

Once I got going – it was better to steam the walls (with a clever little machine), and scrape the paper off in big smooth motions.

All clean. All done. No need to go back over.

But what pray tell does this have to do with parenting (I hear you cry)?

Good question.

Quite Simply – the point is that parenting is actually the opposite of wall paper clearing.

Say what?!

As a parent it’s ‘mini rips’ which win the day.

Day in. Day out. The small pieces of time and effort you put in.

Whether it’s teaching social skills, tying shoe laces, developing hygiene habits, finding employment opportunities.

Little and often is key.

Try teaching social skills in just 1 long session – see where it gets you.

Try getting a good hygiene routine in 1 intense shower session!

Over time information drip feeds in (plus it’s easier for you and your youngster to cope with).

So remember those ‘mini rips’ you do every day will get the job done with your child. Takes time. Takes patience. But you’ll get there. Just keep at it.

And if you’d like more parenting tips and methods (sometimes a little unconventional!) then join us at The Parenting

Asperger’s Community. The webpage for more details is:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3mHNopNF9XJlRMX&b=uM3sACBgeDpYSRQ4Q9rqOA

To mini rips,

Dave Angel

The last one’s fled the nest.

Just dropped my youngest daughter for her first day at school, at the rip old age of 4 and a 1/2.

Seems like only 5 minute ago she was rolling around the carpet chewing fluff . . .

Now she’s in the big place they call school.

Suddenly we’re no longer her world. And it breaks my heart!

I’m supposedly the ‘tougher’ one – so tend to do first day drop offs.

However today was an epic fail.

I couldn’t even acknowledge the school principal as I left, for the lump in my throat and the tears welling up.

So tough lol!

Part of the journey. All good (I guess!)

But seeing your little son or daughter in their first school uniform certainly tugs the old heart strings.

(Maybe you can relate?)

Luckily – it’s only a half day to start. So I’ll be picking her up before I know it.

Ah well onwards and upwards!

Finally just a thought for all those around the world who’ve been hit by these extreme weathers lately. And particularly any of you reading this, from Florida (and

previously Texas) who are suffering. My thoughts are with you – and I hope you come out of this the other side pretty soon.

And as ever – if you’d like to join our online parenting support group, packed with 100’s of tools and techniques to help raise your child with Asperger’s, the link for details is:

clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Kdjaj&m=3dAQcTIh6XJlRMX&b=zRhlwvXy_O4wXI5bagf.TA

To parenting,

Dave Angel

Asperger’s Are Us is a group of comedians from Massachusetts.

(Namely Ethan Finlan , New Michael Ingemi, Jack Hanke and Noah Britton).

They all have Asperger’s, and were the subject of ‘Netflix documentary ‘Asperger’s Are Us’ in 2016. Their comedy is a uniquely dry skit format and their influences

include Monty Python, K-Strass, Kids in the Hall, Steven Wright, South Park, and Airplane (pretty eclectic right?!) Theirs is a fascinating story which features in the current edition (#39)

of the Aspirations newsletter.

As well as this tale of struggles and successes you’ll find:
• 20 ways to motivate and support your teen to find a job (p1)
• 1 thing you must NOT do in your child’s IEP, if you want to it to be a success (p2)
• A little known, yet effective, way to stop school bullies (p2)
• What to do if your child won’t talk about anything except their special interest (p3)
• How to reduce school meltdowns (p3)
• What to do when your child is so quiet in class they are left to get on by teachers (p14)
• Christian (the sibling’s) view of growing up with a brother with Asperger’s (p16)
• How to manage change and uncertainty for children with ASD (p18)
• Cherie’s White’s Top 12 transformation books for aspie adults (reading these books went a long way to change Cherie’s own life from one of pain and despair – to a happily married woman and published author) (p20)
• Tamsin Parker – An inspirational female aspie film maker (p21)
• Alex’s camping trip in what he describes as the “mediocre outdoors”! (p24)
• Is school still relevant? By Jermaine Gardner (p26)
• Life in crowds for people with Asperger’s – a simple cartoon explanation by Dylan Bailey (p28)
• Why times are always a changin’ as the parent of an adult with Asperger’s by Mo Bailey (p30)
• The best of this month’s Facebook support group. Includes how to teach social skills with dvds, should your child have an electronics detox, internet safety, Tony Attwood on emotions, and more (p32)
• 5 lesser known quotes about autism which really get to the heart of the matter (p34)

Today’s the last day you can get this edition of the Aspirations Newsletter (#39). Tomorrow the new issue #40 is published. So if you subscribe today you’ll get both

editions within 24 hours ==>

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To information sharing,

Dave Angel