Children with Aspergers syndrome have no greater permission to run amok and misbehave than other children. The way the parents gain control over their child’s behavior will likely differ with an Aspergers syndrome child as opposed to other children, mostly because of differences in how they think and how they perceive rewards and sanctions.

Aspergers syndrome children, similar to other children, do not respond well to negative reinforcement like spanking or yelling. Aspergers syndrome children really don’t respond negatively to isolation, so the phrase, “Go to your room!” may be seen as a positive thing instead of a negative thing. This means that parents need to be more creative in defining which things will be seen as rewards and which things will be seen as sanctions by the child.

Positive rewards may include being able to play with a preferred toy, being allowed watch a preferred television program or listen to preferred music. Rewarding a child with computer game time may be enough to alter his or her behavior accordingly.

These particular rewards are often offered because Aspergers syndrome children respond more to the presence or absence of “things” and less to human contact or even human praise. The rewards can be offered along with human praise but the praise alone often falls flat and doesn’t affect self esteem in the same way it might another child.

Sanctions involve removing preferred items, including television, toys, computer games or movies—anything the child prefers. All sanctions and rewards must come with clear reasons explained to the child as to why the sanction or reward is being given. Only then can the child match the reward or sanction with the behavior they have done and only then can change be affected.

Yelling or smacking can’t actually be a valid last resort. The child could easily be traumatized by either behavioral option and often won’t be able to tie the “behavior” with the “punishment”, leaving you back at square one.

This is just one of the many tips and techniques for helping your Asperger’s child that features in the book “The Parenting Asperger’s Resource Guide”. Which you can learn more about by visiting www.ParentingAspergers.com

PARENTING AUTISM & ASPERGERS NEWSLETTER
VOLUME 14
DECEMBER 2007 

This is Dave Angel and Welcome to the fourteenth edition
of “The Parenting Autism & Aspergers Newsletter” 

Inside this edition you will find: 

1. Happy Holidays….. 

2. Blog and New Book Update 

3. Hot Topic of Discussion – RPM for Autism 

4. In the News – “America’s Next Top Model” & Aspergers 

5. Parenting Tips – A Success Story 

6. Famous Autistic Person – Luke Jackson 

7. More Holiday Tips…..
Best Wishes 

Dave Angel 

————————————————————- 

1. Happy Holidays….. - 

I have been hunting around to find one of those nice “all
singing all dancing” Christmas Ecards to send to you. 

But the ones I found could only go up to about 20 people and
as there are now over 15000 subscribers to the newsletter the
math was never going to work! 

So instead I found some nice Xmas Webcams to put you in the
seasonal mood. You can see them at: 

http://www.earthcam.com/events/christmastree/ 

My favorite is Camera 6 set in St. Louis, USA. 

Enjoy……
———————————————————— 

2. Blog and New Book Update 

As I hope you already know the Parenting Aspergers Blog is
now up and running. 

You can see it at http://www.ParentingAspergers.com/Blog 

On the blog there is a helpful “How To Use This Blog”
guide which tells you how you can best benefit and use
the blog. 

I would also encourage you to tell other parents about it -
as one of the great things about a blog is that people can
comment and add their own tips to it. 

This means that I hope we can stimulate discussion and sharing
of more helpful tips and information for parents. 

I am still working away on the follow-up to The
Parenting Aspergers Resource Guide and it is still looking on
course to be ready for February. 

I am going to be revealing some of the great tips from this
new book on the blog throughout January – so look out for that. 

Also I will be running a competition to win free copies of the
book each week on the blog in January…..so watch out for
updates on this too….. 

———————————————————— 

3. Hot Topic of Discussion – RPM for Autism 

The Rapid Prompting method (RPM) is apparently an approach
to working with children who have autism, which has
featured on US TV on the show 60 Minutes II in 2003. 

It was “invented” (for want of a better word) by Soma
Mukhopadhyay for her autistic son Tito. 

Lisa Jo Rudy of About Autism describes it as “involving
constant, fast-paced questioning, prodding, and engaging,
combined with the use of a low-tech alphabet board for
spelled communication.” 

The results with Tito were apparently quite amazing – in
that he was able to communicate his thoughts and feelings
more effectively than ever before. 

Portia Iversen (an autism activist) then used the method
with her autistic son and found similar results – which
she wrote about in a book called “Strange Son”. 

The theory behind why this may work appears to involve
the speed and intensity of the teaching and questioning,
matching that of the individual’s self-stimulatory
behavior. 

So for example the way to get through to the child who
constantly self-stimulates through flapping, is to do this
focused work at the same speed and tempo as the flapping. 

Whilst a little “off the wall” at first glance it does
appear to make some sense to me. 

If we want to effectively communicate with a child
with autism then using a speed, style and tempo that
they are comfortable with can surely only help. 

Whereas traditional approaches attempt to take the
child away from the particular behavior which they
are very comfortable with – by offering some rather
unrelated other option (like a PECS board)…. 

…this approach attempts to motivate the child away from
the behavior by doing something that is quite similar
in pace and tempo to what they are doing. 

Now that’s all great…………..in theory…. 

Which is where the sceptical part comes in as there
is no real scientific evidence other than anecdotal
evidence from those involved as to how or why this
really works (or in fact if it even does). 

You can check out Soma’s website at:
http://www.halo-soma.org/ if you want to
research this yourself. 

As with any types of treatments and cures I
would advise you to look at it with an open
mind – but equally ask those sceptical and
cynical questions that will come to mind. 

And if you decide to try it out – be aware that
nothing is a “quick fix” and it will take
substantial effort on your part to implement it
…………..and there are never any guarantees of
success. 

Top read more about RPM go to: 

http://autism.about.com/od/alternativetreatmens/f/rpm.htm 

———————————————————– 

4. In the News – “America’s Next Top Model” & Aspergers 

Now “America’s Next Top Model” also airs on UK TV but I
have to say it looks just simply awful to me. 

Full of ridiculous vanity, cat fights and Tyra Banks (for
whom the word EGO seems to have been invited) so I
wouldn’t normally be seen dead commenting on it. That said… 

I couldn’t resist reading the news article I saw about
Heather Kuzmich (a 21 year old with Aspergers from Valparaiso,
Indiana) being one of the stars of the latest show. 

I have not seen the show but actually on reading the article
I instantly felt very sorry for Heather having gotten
tangled up with this awful reality world. 

I read that “Early in the show, she appears socially isolated,
the girls whisper about her within earshot, and viewers
see her crying on the phone to her mother. 

One girl is frustrated when Heather, concentrating on packing
a bag, doesn’t hear a request to move out of the way. 

At one point, the others laugh when they stake out their beds
and Heather has no place to sleep. 

“I wish I could get the joke,” Heather laments. 

“You. You’re the joke,” retorts another model, Bianca, an
18-year-old college student from Queens.” 

Well hey that sounds just a great environment to be
supportive towards a young woman with Aspergers just trying
to find her feet in the world. 

My next thought was “what was Heather and her family thinking
of in the first place getting involved?” 

But according to Heather her aims were quite laudable in
the Chicago Tribune – “She tried out for the show, she
explained, partly to test her own limits. “It was a point in
my life where I was thinking either Asperger’s was going to
define me or I was going to be able to work around it,” she said. 

She apparently wowed some of the judges and even got a part
in an Enrique Inglesias video. 

I would like to hope that maybe her role on the show may have
raised some awareness of Aspergers in a positive light -
although I am not entirely convinced that connections with
supermodels and the like is particularly helpful. 

Anyhow Heather did what she did – and good luck to her in
continuing to tackle the world as a 21 year old woman with
Aspergers. 

To read the full story go to:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/lifestyle/health/chi-1211_health_asperg_rdec11,1,4538329.story?ctrack=1&cset=true
————————————————————- 

5. Parenting Tips – A Success Story 

This month’s tip is more of a success story that I received
from Vicki Martin in Australia a few months ago: 

“Hello Dave, 

I am not sure if I have anything interesting or helpful to
share with you.  

I live in  Australia this year in January or February my now
10 year old son was diagnosed with Aspergers.  

I think what I want to share with you is our journey to
having this diagnosis made. 

My son as a baby was the happiest and easiest of my three sons. 

He has always been a very clever little man and could speak
fluently from about 16 months of age, he had an absolute
compulsion to push buttons. 

He would speak to anyone and looking back, would interrupt
and continue talking way past what is socially acceptable. 

I never realised my son was any different to other children,
probably because all three of my children are very similar
and I just thought they took after me (maybe they do). 

When he started school aged 4, everything changed with the
teachers complaining that my son was very immature, would
tap things and touch other people, would talk out of turn
and although he had been diagnosed as gifted was not
learning and could not write to an acceptable level.  

At 6 years old I started seeking answers as he had become
highly volatile and was hurting teachers, students and
property and spending every day in detention so that he
could complete his work.  

At 8 years old he was expelled from his school for using
inappropriate language and his other meltdowns, his work
refusal and avoidance of school as well as being teased
and bullied and he was behaving this way in return.  

At the next school he became the victim of daily physical
attacks and constant bullying. 

It took 3 years of different services and doctors
assessing my son for a diagnosis of Aspergers and ADHD
to be given.  

Since he started school 6 years ago I think I have spent
more time at the principal’s office than the students. 

Since he has had this diagnosis, started on Concerta for
the ADHD, and has started at a school that is willing
to accept he is different and put different strategies
into place, he has absolutely excelled.  

The school read all the books I gave them, attended
training seminars and have really put in an effort to
make an environment in which my son is accepted and
can learn.  

He has learnt to skip, played football on a team
and made friends as well as he has finally started to
learn academically.  

On top of this he has had one meltdown at school and
three meltdowns at home in the last 8 months.  

It is like living with a different child.   

In a conversation I had with him the other day I asked
him about school which he promptly replied “My school
is the best school and everyone wants to go there.  

They can teach and I can actually learn, it is
fantastic.”  

Yesterday I offered him a day off school as he had
hurt himself in a clumsy accident, he refused
the offer saying, “I want to go to school.” 

I never thought I would hear these words from my son. 

It just goes to show if you can find a supportive
and patient environment to match a good home
life things can get better. 

Regards 

Vicki Martin” 

Thanks for that story of inspiration Vicki and can I ask that
other parents who have stories or tips to share please go
to our online support desk at and submit them at:
http://www.vitalhealthonline.com/cgi-bin/pdesk.cgi
……as The Parenting Aspergers Parenting Tips cupboard is
getting a little empty at present!
 
————————————————————- 

6. Famous Autistic Person – Luke Jackson 

Many people I am sure will have heard of Luke Jackson who is a
young man with Aspergers Syndrome. 

He wrote an excellent book that was critically well received
about his thoughts and experiences as a teenager with Aspergers. 

The book rejoiced in the excellent title “Freaks, Geeks and Asperger
Syndrome”. 

Luke and his family were also the subject of a UK Documentary
on BBC called “My family and Autism”. 

Luke has had 2 further books published since “Freaks, Geeks…”
- no mean feat for a teenager. 

Luke also has brothers on the Autistic Spectrum in a family with
a total of 7 children! 

Their mum who appears quite remarkable has her own website:
http://www.jacquijackson.com/ 

And there is more information about Luke and his remarkable family
on the BBC website at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/tvradio/autism/ 

————————————————————- 

7. More Holiday Tips….. 

There is a great FREE audio download of more tips to help
parents over the festive season currently available online. 

It features the author Ellen Notbohm (who wrote “Ten Things
Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew”) and Special Needs
Activist from san Francisco Katy Franklin. 

To get your copy just go to:
http://srdad.com/SrDad/Autism/Entries/2007/12/13_Autism_and_the_Holidays.html 

————————————————————- 

Well that’s all for this edition and I hope you
enjoyed it. 

I hope that you and your family have a great Christmas and
New Year. 

And the next edition of the newsletter should be due in
mid-January.
 
And as ever………please send in any inspirational stories
that you know of, any questions that you would like our team
of experts to answer, any topics that you wish to be discussed
and news stories that you want to share. 

We will publish as many as we can. 

Until next month……… 

Best Wishes 

Dave Angel 

 

 

Hi – and welcome to the first post on the Parenting Aspergers Blog.

I strongly recommend that you read the section on the blog called “How To Use This Blog” in order to understand fully how best to benefit from this blog.

By the time your child reaches the age where he or she is going to school, you’ll have several years of experience figuring out what works and what doesn’t work in managing your Aspergers syndrome child.

While your child’s teacher understands the fundamentals of teaching, he or she will be lacking in crucial information about your child and what works best in certain circumstances. This means that you have information to share with the teacher, and the time to do that is before or very near the time the child enters the classroom.You’ll want to share information on your child’s diagnosis and his or her normal level of functioning. If your child has a normal or above normal IQ, tell the teacher that your child has the cognitive ability to succeed under the right circumstances. Talk about visual learning and the fact that children with Asperger’s syndrome learn through pictures and are less likely to learn through auditory awareness or through letters and words.

You’ll also want to talk to the teacher about those things that set your child off, including any obsessions or compulsive behavior your child exhibits. If your child still has temper tantrums, talk about how to manage them and how to avoid them, if possible.

Tell your child’s teacher that you can be available as a resource for the teacher. Try to have a phone number at which you can be reached for any impromptu issues that arise during the course of the day. Make a deal with the teacher that allows you to attend class on the first few days of the school year or when things get difficult. Not only will that help your child adjust to school, it will aid the teacher in the process of getting to know your child.

Maintain that teacher-parent alliance throughout the school year in order to have the best chance of your child learning and thriving within the structure of the classroom.

This is just one of the many tips and techniques for helping your Asperger’s child that features in the book “The Parenting Asperger’s Resource Guide”. Which you can learn more about by visiting www.parentingaspergers.com/