Throughout January I am going to be posting exclusive free samples from the Brand New “Parenting Asperger’s Resource Guide Volume 2” which is to be released in early February……

I am also running weekly competitions throughout January to give away free copies of the new resource guide…………so read on below for more about that…..

This weeks exclusive sample is based on the following question I was asked about sibling relationships…….

Question

Why does my 4 1/2 year old always push his brother and will they ever have a ‘good’ relationship? Mostly, my question is how to discipline my son when this happens. Are timeouts appropriate?

A child with Asperger’s Syndrome exhibits many characteristics that have positive and negative effects on behavior. Children with Asperger’s have difficulty with social interactions and communication skills, which is why you see some problems in teaching your son how to interact with others, specifically his brother. It will take time and specific interventions before their relationship gets better, but, keep in mind that children without Asperger’s often have the same kinds of problems with siblings.

Regardless of whether or not your son has Asperger’s he can learn social skills to help him get along with his brother and others as well. Young children are very self-centered and often do not empathize with other children, so your son may not realize that pushing makes his brother uncomfortable. And, while your son is intelligent and may have language skills, chances are, at his age, he doesn’t know how to voice his wants and needs to his brother, so he pushes him instead.

Be realistic about your son’s level of maturity, but remember that he needs discipline and supervision. Watch him when he’s playing with his brother. Try to notice if he can pick up on verbal or physical clues his brother sends. Tell your son using a calm, quiet voice how you want him to behave. “Your brother wants to see how the truck works. Can you show him?” It helps to encourage a different activity immediately. Asperger’s children need to hear specific reasons why they should or shouldn’t do things, such as pushing. Just saying, “Mama doesn’t want you to do that” isn’t good enough. He needs to hear that if he hurts his brother, he will lose some play time. Use praise when he behaves well.

Be specific and set limits on inappropriate behavior, for both boys! Be consistent. If your son doesn’t stop an unacceptable behavior when asked to, remove him from the room for a few minutes. Make it clear that hurting someone, in any way, requires an apology and a kind deed to make up for the hurt. For example, he would have to apologize for pushing his brother and let his brother play with one of his toys for five minutes. Gradually, your son will stop pushing and learn to voice his wants and needs. In the meantime, if he cannot speak, using a picture communication system like PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) might work. With this system, he chooses a picture of something he wants or needs. Log on to www.pecs.com to find out more.

Explain to your other son what Asperger’s is and how it affects his brother. Use words that are appropriate to his age and ability to understand. Teach him to be patient. Praise him when he demonstrates patience and kindness. Teach him how to help his brother; he will model himself on you.

Also, be sure to have your son’s doctor check him over to make sure his medications are appropriate. He may be ready for Sensory Integration Training to help him become less sensitive to noise, light, sounds, smells, textures, and tastes.

It helps Asperger’s children if you can say “Yes” as often as possible and “No” or “Don’t do that” as little as possible. For example, if your son refuses to go to bed, ask him if he’d rather walk or be carried to bed. If he can’t or won’t make a decision, make it for him.

Progress may be slow, but it will occur. Be patient.

This is just one of the many advanced tips and techniques that feature in the Brand New “Parenting Asperger’s Resource Guide Volume 2” that will be released in February.

You will be able to invest in your own copy of this great new resource at a heavily discounted price as a subscriber to the Parenting Asperger’s and Autism Newsletter (watch out for further details on this real soon…..!)

If you are not yet a free subscriber then sign up at the bottom of this page to qualify for this great discount and to get free weekly tips and helpful hints.

But right now it’s………..

Competition Time…………..

I am going to be sending out a different exclusive sample from the new “Parenting Asperger’s Resource Guide Volume 2” on the blog every week during January.

I am also going to run a competition each week for someone to win a FREE copy of the guide.

To qualify all you need to do is submit your own Asperger’s tip on to the blog and I will pick the best one each week as a winner and that person will get a free copy. When the “Parenting Asperger’s Resource Guide Volume 2” is released in February.

Ideally your tip should relate to the topic at hand (i.e. this week it is siblings) but I will accept any helpful tips for parents into the competition.

I look forward to receiving your tips and good luck for the competition…….

Dave Angel