Hi there – And a big thanks to you if you’ve already taken part in the Aspergers survey.If not there’s still time to participate and qualify for your free bonus parenting report. Just go to:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=jEpXur_2fZ3wOVKtyxKbiQrw_3d_3d

I’m already seeing some fascinating results from the survey which I will share more of in due course.

This week’s article covers the following question:

I need help in getting my in-laws to understand that it’s not a lack of discipline that has made my son act the way he does. Spanking isn’t the answer. They think he’s fine, that it’s my fault (that he acts out).

Your in-laws need to be educated about Asperger’s Syndrome. They may accuse you of spoiling the child or of not knowing how to raise children. You may be tempted to think you are not a good parent. Don’t! Your child has specific difficulties related to Asperger’s Syndrome and it takes time and a lot of knowledge to deal with them successfully.

You, or better yet your husband, should talk with them about the symptoms and behaviours commonly associated with Asperger’s Syndrome. Let them know that the issue is one of sensory overload and not inadequate discipline on your part. Your in-laws need to understand that his responses to sounds, lights, smells, tastes, and touch strongly affect him, sometimes causing actual pain, and it is not anyone’s fault that he sometimes cannot handle situations. Also, his interactions with people are not a demonstration of an antisocial personality. He may fear individuals or crowds, and he may not know how to interact with strangers. This is not due to your lack of training. It is a syndrome (condition) that involves many behaviours described in such books as Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals by Tony Atwood or Asperger’s Syndrome and Difficult Moments: Practical Solutions for Tantrums, Rage and Meltdowns by Brenda Smith Myles and Jack Southwick. Reading these books may help your in-laws understand AS.

The internet is a valuable source of information on Asperger’s Syndrome. There are two popular sites for Asperger’s information. The first is O.A.S.I.S., the Online Asperger’s Syndrome Information and Support website, at http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/. The second is A Directory for Asperger’s Syndrome, which contains a directory of resources (articles, books, services) related to Asperger’s Syndrome. It is available at http://www.kandi.org/aspergers/index2.html

On the home front, both you and your spouse need to be equally involved in this situation. You can provide a mutual source of support for yourselves, as well as your child. Treatment for any illness, disease, or disorder is always enhanced when there is family unity. To begin, look into family counseling for you, your spouse, and your child. Then, integrate your in-laws into the counseling sessions. During the sessions, ask the therapist for a referral to support groups for families affected by Asperger’s Syndrome. Therapists and their support staff usually have community support information at hand. There is a website support group based in the United States. The Los Angeles’ Asperger’s Syndrome Parents’ Support Group, available on the internet at http://myweb.lmu.edu/jdevine/as/, provides information on Asperger’s and its relationship to autism, general diagnostic information, and local meetings for families who are dealing with Asperger’s.

Thanks

Dave Angel