Hi there,

It’s Dave Angel again with the latest update on  www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com

There are going to 5 main Departments on the website which will be the following:

1. Parents Help Corner

2. Behaviors and Treatments

3. Helping Your Child to Cope with Other People

4. More Aspergers Topics

5. Resources

Within each of these 5 Departments is a whole host of great features and information.

As you can tell the titles are pretty self-explanatory, but I am going to break down in detail each area over the next couple of blog posts.

Today I will talk more about The Parents Help Corner …

This Department has a number of categories of which the most important are:

Ask for Help – This category allows you to submit a question to me directly through the website which I know will be a great help for so many parents. I will then either reply in brief to you, or try to write a more in-depth answer for sharing on the site, depending on which seems appropriate.

Aspergers New Headlines – This is a constantly evolving live feed of the latest news stories from around the world related to Aspergers and Autism – so that you can keep right up-to-date at the click of a button on your computer.

Most Popular – This is a link that takes you directly to the most viewed/popular information and articles on the site.

Parenting Forum – For me this is the “jewel in the crown” of the website. It’s a really easy to use discussion forum that will allow parents to have discussion, swap ideas, make friends and just communicate with other parents who experience similar issues all over the world.

Member Profiles – I really love this area too as it expands on the “social networking” theme from the Forum. As you may have heard me say before; this is like a mini-version of Facebook or MySpace exclusively for parents of children with Aspergers. So you can go on there and make “friends” with people, upload photos, have your own blog, write your own profile and interact with other members (and me!) through instant messaging on the site.

Now I hope that this gives you a good idea about “The Parents Help Corner” Department – but if you have any questions please post them here on the blog and I’ll try and answer them as soon as I can.

Watch out for the next blog post on Friday which will be all about the following departments:

Behaviors and Treatments

Helping Your Child to Cope with Other People

Take care for now,

Dave Angel

PS – If you missed any of the previous blog posts abut the
new website you can read them all by scrolling down the following web page:

http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/category/new-parenting-aspergers-website-launch/

Hi there,

It’s Dave Angel again with the latest on the new website www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com

Here’s a sample article from the new site for your interest …

Question

How can I understand the way my son thinks?

Answer

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome may have underdeveloped areas in the brain that cause problems in: communication, learning appropriate social skills and responses, understanding the thoughts and feelings of others, and focusing on “the real world,” as opposed to becoming absorbed in their own thoughts and obsessions.

Those with Asperger’s are often extremely literal in their interpretation of others’ conversations, for example, they may wonder if cats and dogs are really raining down or think there are two suns when someone talks about two sons.  They are unable to recognize differences in speech tone, pitch, and accent that alter the meaning of what others’ say.Your son may not understand a joke or take a sarcastic comment literally.

Learning social skills for children with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) is like learning a foreign language.  A child with AS is unable to recognize non-verbal communication that other children learn without formal instruction.  Some examples are: not understanding the appropriate distance to stand from another person when talking, how to tell when someone does not want to listen any longer, and how to interpret facial expressions.

Many AS children will be highly aware of right and wrong and will bluntly announce what is wrong.  They will recognize others’ shortcomings, but not their own.  Consequently, the behavior of those with Asperger’s is likely to be inappropriate through no fault of their own.

Children with AS need routine and predictability to give them a sense of safety.  Change can cause stress and too much change can lead to meltdowns (tantrums).  Changes that are stressful for them are: a different teacher at school, a new routine, doing things in a different order (e.g.; putting pants on before a shirt), going to the bathroom at someone else’s home, changing a bedroom curtain or the color of the walls, to name a few. Routines and predictability help them remain calm.

Your son’s thinking may be totally focused on only one or two interests, about which he is very knowledgeable.  Many children with Asperger’s syndrome are interested in parts of a whole (intricate jigsaw puzzles), designing houses, drawing highly detailed scenes, astronomy, the computer, insects, Pokemon, trains, and many more.  Because his brain is obsessed by his interest, your son may talk only about it, even
when others are carrying on a conversation on a different topic.

AS children notice details, rather than the “whole” picture.  The importance of the detail prevents the AS child from understanding the bigger picture, so instructions may get lost in his focus on a single detail.  A lesson at school may be totally ignored in favor of a fly on the wall.  Multiple instructions are extremely difficult for these children to retain and follow.

AS children are not able to access their frontal cortex or prefrontal lobe efficiently, so they must call on social skills from their memories.  If a social skill has not been taught, they won’t have it.  Consequently, turn taking, imagination, conversation, and other’s points of view cause AS children great difficulty.  The AS person may be unable to realize consequences outside his or her way of thinking.  In addition, they cannot
recognize when someone is lying to them or trying to take advantage.  Some get into trouble with the law as a result.

Anger in AS children often occurs due to over stimulation of the senses or a change in routine.  It is often the only response the AS child knows.  Anger management presents problems.  They see things in black and white, which results in tantrums when they don’t get their own way, feel threatened, or overwhelmed.  Some children with Asperger’s bottle up anger and turn it inward and hit or bite themselves, never revealing where the trouble is.  Many people with AS are perfectionists reacting with anger when things don’t go as they wish.

One of the most difficult thinking patterns of Asperger’s is mindblindness.  Mindblindness is the lack of ability to understand the emotions, feelings, motivations, and logic of others and not care that they don’t understand!  Consequently, they behave without regard to the welfare of others. The only way they will ever change their thinking or behavior is if it is in their own interests to do so.  Even then, convincing a child with Asperger’s to change his mind is an uphill battle.

I hope you enjoyed this sample article which is one of over 50 brand new articles that are already on the website.

Have a great Day

Dave Angel

Hi there it’s time for your weekly Aspergers article as ever on a Tuesday. This week has been a blur as I’ve been working hard on the completion of the new site www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com

If you haven’t yet signed up to find out exactly when the site will be launched and also gain access to some freebie articles from the site (there’s one coming out later today for all those on the list) and updates … then you’ve still got time just go over to www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com today.

Also another quick reminder … if you wanted to read “The History of Parenting Aspergers” report it’s still available for free download at http://www.parentingaspergers.com/history.html

OK with those reminders out of the way let’s go straight into this week’s article …

Question

Brain blindness: how to break through rigid thinking that prevents them from making a connection between their behavior and negative consequences?  Once my Aspie children get an idea, no amount of evidence to the contrary will shift them.

Answer

One big challenge for those with high-functioning Asperger’s syndrome, is mindblindness (sometimes called brain blindness).  Mindblindness refers to the inability of people with Asperger’s to understand and empathize with the needs, beliefs, and intentions that drive other people’s behavior, and their own. Without this ability, Aspies cannot make sense of the world.  The world is constantly confusing them, and they go through life making mistakes because nothing makes sense (mindblindness).  Aspies cannot connect their own needs, beliefs, and intentions to experiences and positive or negative consequences, at least not on their own.  Many Aspies are unaware that they even have this problem, even if they know they have Asperger’s!

Yet, Aspies can learn to compensate for mindblindness with a lifetime of constant “counselling” by good teachers, parents, counsellors, and therapists.  Some adult Aspies can read books and learn, but AS children need others to help them. With good help, Aspies can grow up to lead nearly normal lives.  A good book for parents, teachers, and older Aspies to read is: Mindblindness by Simon Baron-Cohen.

Parents must understand that their Aspie children must be taught to use logic to make sense of the world and the people in it, one personal situation at a time.
Here are some “rules” written by a gentleman with Asperger’s that may help parents assist their Aspie children.  He named them “Rules to Make Sense” and recommends that Aspie children be taught them.
“1) Every human behaviour has a reason behind it, even if I don’t see it.
2) I will not give up my unrelenting, autistic singlemindedness until I find the reason for a behaviour, or until I am satisfied that I do not have enough information to find it.
3) When I find the reason, all the pieces will fall into place, and not a single one will be left that doesn’t fit.
4) After I find it, I will dig further to try to disprove it.
5) If I find a single piece that doesn’t fit, then I still have a problem. Go back to step two with the problem.
6) I will force myself to accept what I have in front of me as the truth, even if I find it hard to believe.”

Here are a few more facts that Aspies must learn.
1)  Most people usually talk about the things they want, and openly say what they believe.  Women talk more than men and focus on feelings more.
2)  When somebody’s behavior flies in the face of logic, concentrate on his or her feelings.
3) Some people are so messed up that it is just not possible to figure them out.  Know when to give up.

A parents’ strategy should be to get their Aspie sons or daughters obsessed with the need to make sense of the world and help them understand that the mysteries of human behavior disappear when one understands the appropriate states of mind behind them.  Also, to help them realize that once the state of mind is understood, people’s future behavior can be anticipated.  But, how does a parent do that when the Aspie isn’t motivated to do so because they don’t realize there’s a need?

A parent must:
1)  Teach the Aspie to make sense of the world by himself (eventually).
2)  Constantly explain people’s states of mind to him and what they mean until he learns to figure them out on his own.
This means explaining the wants, needs, and beliefs that drive human behavior and the reasons behind all the unwritten rules that are part of human relationships.

Give the Aspie books to read.  Explain his challenges and that he is in a state of confusion without being aware of it.  Explain how each person feels about the world and about his own life.  Explain that every person has a different set of values and that their behavior is driven by these values.  Explain also your own state of mind and emotions constantly.  Explain why you explain things to him.  Explain that he should ask you questions about things he doesn’t understand.  Do these things over and over and over.

Explain his own needs to him.  It is only when he understands what he wants himself that he will have a basis for understanding that others also have wants, and that peoples’ wants are what makes them behave the way they do.  If you explain something over and over, and he never ‘gets it’, the reason could be that there is more basic knowledge that he doesn’t have in order to understand.

Protect your Aspie children from the cruelty of strangers.  Some people are not going to pass up the opportunity to treat them badly. You should explain that this is going to happen, and that they should not feel ashamed to go to you for support.  They are going to meet people that will try to convince them they are worthless.  You must convince them that they can and will make a success of life, as many Asperger’s people have.  You must explain the states of mind of these people and why they do what they do – over and over.

Explain before punishing.  If you punish a child for doing A, all that he is going to learn is that if he does A again, he is going to be punished again.  He will not understand why he should not do A in the first place.

It is this constant explaining and counselling by parents, teachers, and therapists over years and years of living, repeated over and over again, that eventually will help the Aspie break through the bonds of mindblindness and learn to handle life successfully, on his own.  Don’t give up; keep trying and get others to help you.

I hope this article has been helpful and don’t forget to check out www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com if you haven’t already.

Take Care and have a great week

Dave Angel

PARENTING AUTISM & ASPERGER’S NEWSLETTER
VOLUME 28
February 2009

This is Dave Angel.  Welcome to the twenty-seventh edition of “The Parenting Autism & Asperger’s Newsletter”

Inside this edition you will find:

1. The New Aspergers Website

2. Hot Topic of Discussion – Are Asperger’s and High Functioning Autism the Same Thing?

3. In the News – Defining Neurodiversity

4. Parenting Tip – Food

Thanks

Dave

————————————————————

1. The New Aspergers Website

Just a quick reminder that if you want to be one of the first people to start taking advantage of the huge wealth of resources on the new parenting Aspergers website then head over to www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com and sign-up to today, to learn more…

Just to give you an idea some of the features on the new site are:

. Videos on different aspects of Aspergers

. Constantly updating news and research on Aspergers

. Information on topics as diverse as coping with behaviors, diagnosis issues, social skills, communication, sex & relationship issues, parents issues, treatments/therapies, gaining independence, adults with Aspergers, education, gluten free cooking and much more …

. An easy-to-use active parents discussion forum

. The ability to communicate directly with me in simpler and more effective ways for individual help

. A “social networking tool” to allow you to communicate much more effectively with other parents

. New videos, articles and other resources added every single week

. and so much more besides …

So to get on that “notification list” and be at the front of the line when it opens just head over to:

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/

————————————————————
2. Hot Topic of Discussion – Are Asperger’s and High Functioning Autism the Same Thing?

Many people wonder if Asperger’s Syndrome is the same thing as high functioning autism.  There is a lot of information on the internet that refers to Asperger’s Syndrome by the phrase “high functioning autism.”  Even doctors are not definite as to how to define the two terms so that we can tell the difference.  High functioning autism is generally used to refer to those whose symptoms are not severe.  Children with high functioning autism have average or above-average intelligence.  Generally children with high functioning autism struggle with expressing emotion and interpreting social situations.

Unfortunately, there is no clear cutoff between the diagnosis of low functioning and high functioning autism. Most professionals do seem to agree that Asperger’s Syndrome is a separate autism spectrum disorder.  Asperger’s Syndrome will usually become a concern at the age of three.  Brain scans have shown structural and functional differences within the brains of children without autism disorders, with Asperger’s Syndrome, and who are children with high functioning autism.  A big difference between children with autism and those with Asperger’s is that children with Asperger’s do not typically withdraw from other people as low functioning autistic children do.

To read the full article, go to:  http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/are-aspergers-and-high-functioning-autism-the-same-thing-448862.html

————————————————————-
3.  In the News – Defining Neurodiversity

Understanding neurodiversity is important for professionals working in autism-related fields, as well as for educators and parents.  Neurodiversity is defined as: all human mental or psychological neurological structures and behaviors, which may or may not be problematic, but are acceptable forms of human biology.  This is a controversial topic at the moment, with neurodiversity advocates promoting the idea that autism is just a different way of experiencing the world, and so in conflict with parents of and autistic individuals looking for cures for autism.

The neurodiversity movement focuses on accepting autism as a natural part of life, as opposed to something that needs to be cured or fixed.  The Autism Acceptance Project leads the neurodiversity movement.  It encourages a positive view of autism and the “acceptance of and accommodations for autistic people in society.”  The movement suggests using the terms “autism spectrum conditions,” instead of “autism spectrum disorders,” and “typical” as opposed to “normal” for non-autistic persons.

Diversity is a concept that is respected in our society; neurodiversity should be respected as well.

To read the full article, go to: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=38749119616

————————————————————-

4. Parenting Tip – Food

“My son is 9 and has similar issues with eating. As you know, Aspies love rules. The approach that I took was that I sat down with him with the Canada Food Guide in front of us and I explained that in order for him to grow up strong and healthy, he must eat foods from all of the food groups. Together, we chose 3 things from each food group for him to eat with the understanding that he could remove any of these items
from his ‘list’ at any time, but then we must replace that item with another as there can never be less than 3 things from each group. Hope that helps. It worked for us.”

Wendy Smith -Ontario, Canada.

Thanks Wendy for that great tip.

————————————————————-

I hope this month’s newsletter has intrigued you and provided information new to you.

The next edition of the newsletter is due in March, 2009.

And as ever … please send in any inspirational stories that you know of, any questions that you would like our team of experts to answer, any topics that you wish to be discussed, and news stories that you want to share VIA THE BLOG.

We will publish as many as we can.

Until next month………

Best Wishes

Dave Angel

http://www.parentingaspergers.com

Hi there – It’s Dave Angel again with another update on the new website www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com

I’ve had a few people ask me why I’ve decided to create this new website so I’ve decided to list off the main reasons …

Reason Number 1 – The increase in numbers

Well about two and a half years ago when I set up the first Parenting Aspergers website I didn’t know how popular it would become, and so I was able to answer everyone’s email and questions at the beginning quite quickly with no real problems.

Now with literally thousands of people receiving my weekly emails and writing back to me with questions it’s just become impossible to provide the type of help and support that I want to, using that old system.

Along the way I tried using a “Help Desk” system which some of you may have tried – but to be honest it broke down so many times that It just wasn’t worth bothering with.

Then of course I had all the problems with receiving 100′s of spam emails every day into the main Parenting Aspergers email address.

So rather then spend half my life deleting emails for potions and pills and other such medical delights I had to scrap that email address and use my current email address dave.angel@live.co.uk

Which is fine but for anyone else who uses hotmail you’ll know that it’s a bit clunky and too slow to be able to effectively respond to the number of emails I get each day from parents.

That may have been slightly long-winded but I hope it fully explains Reason Number 1 – The increase in numbers.

So the great news is that with the new website I will be able to communicate directly with people through sending private messages on the site and also answering queries directly on the discussion forum.

Reason Number 2 – Unreliable and slow technology

I tried to get around problem number 1 above by adding the blog about a year ago.

This gave people the capacity to add their comments after each blog post.

This has worked OK for people to communicate their thoughts – but it can be very slow and time-consuming scrolling through all the different comments on each post.

Certainly too time-consuming for me to be able to individually reply to each comment as I would ideally like (some times I can get up to 70 or 80 comments on there per week).

Also as regular readers know I have had all kinds of technical problems on the blog; with entire articles being lost off the site and even worse …

When I had a period of about 2 months that some nasty online hackers were messing with the blog constantly and putting all kinds of rubbish spam on there, as well as causing the blog to completely break down on numerous occasions.

At that point I was very close to giving up on the whole thing and shutting the site down completely.

And then I found out that these problems were caused by the free software that I use for the blog just not being up to the job of running such a growing website.

So the choice left to me was to either shut the site down or have something built that can handle the growth of the website, the volume of information on it and the sheer numbers of people that I am now helping each week.

And the choice to build something bigger and better is the one I’ve taken.

This will also enable me to bring even more information to you and make www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com the number one place on the internet for parents of children with Aspergers Syndrome.

So I have now invested in some pretty robust “industrial strength” software to power the site – that will make things quicker, safer and more effective.

And this robust new software will definitely stop the problem of unreliable and slow technology.

Reason Number 3 – The bigger picture

As the Parenting Aspergers website has evolved, and more and more parents have come onboard, I have felt that I wanted to create something even bigger and more meaningful.

I have wanted to put together a place where people can access the latest research, make real friendships with other parents, share great resources and information with one other and become an online “centre of excellence”.

I have also wanted to be able to build this site into something powerful that can help to advocate and be a “voice” for both parents and their children with Aspergers.

So with this in mind I have drawn up the following mission statement for The Parenting Aspergers Community:

The mission of Parenting Aspergers Community is to make a positive difference in the lives of  parents who have children with Aspergers; by  ensuring that they can access the specialist information and support that they need to help them in their day-to-day parenting role.

This will be done by providing a specialist website with information in the form of articles, video and audio presentations across a wide range of topics. There is also a community forum at the heart of the website to allow parents to communicate directly with other parents and professionals to gain support and advice.

It is the belief of Parenting Aspergers Community that parents deserve to be given the best possible chance to parent their child with Aspergers; and that being able to access specialist support and advice is an essential part of this.

My apologies if this post has been a little longer than usual but I wanted to really get this information across to you.

Have a great Day

Dave Angel