Developing independent living skills is essential for an adolescent.  Asperger’s Syndrome increases the need for the conscious teaching of independence.  Even though the most basic living and social skills may come naturally, many young people with Asperger’s will require strict guidance while becoming proficient in these much needed skills. 

There are several therapies that are geared to helping an adolescent with Asperger’s Syndrome on many levels.  Independent living skills are included.  Social skills training and/or classes will definitely touch on some of these skills, especially the ones that involve social interactions.  For example, personal hygiene and two-way conversation are two skills that are necessary for good social interaction, as well as for independent living. 

However, teaching independent living skills to an adolescent with Asperger’s can be managed very well in the home setting.  You can find books, workbooks, and full curriculum guides for independent living skills geared towards adolescents and young adults with Asperger’s Syndrome.  These books can be used successfully at home with some effort and teamwork between parent and child.  In the case of a young adult, many of these resources are self-teaching and can be used individually.  “Asperger Syndrome: An Owner’s Manual 2 For Older Adolescents and Adults: What You, Your Parents and Friends, and Your Employer, Need to Know”, Ellen S. Heller Korin, M.Ed.,  is a workbook format for teaching about relationships, living skills, employment, and much more.   

In addition to using a written guide, there are a few simple things that parents can do for their adolescent with Asperger’s.  All of the following suggestions are easy to incorporate into everyday life, making learning independent living skills an uncomplicated practice.

* Practice the basic skills with your adolescent at every opportunity.  Repetition is one of the best ways to teach skills to kids with Asperger’s.

* Living by the rules is most desirable for kids with Asperger’s.  Incorporate these living skills into your house rules.  Chores, personal hygiene, handling money, and other basic skills should be included in daily and/or weekly rules.

* Written lists, schedules, daily plans make it easier for your adolescent to learn basic skills.  Visual aids are very helpful and can help your child learn those house rules.  Organizational skills are also important, so these daily, weekly, and monthly written schedules can help your adolescent get a better grasp on time management while he is practicing those basic living skills.

Independent living skills can be successfully taught to adolescents with Asperger’s Syndrome.  With your help, your adolescent will learn these necessary skills and will be ready for true independence as he reaches adulthood.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

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Mainstream school is not meeting my boy’s needs (he has Aspergers). His main needs are not understanding the problem in class and not believing he could achieve more– help!

Sometimes it is very difficult to figure out the exact problems that are holding back children with Asperger’s Syndrome. It is important to know your child well so you can be the advocate he needs in his educational corner. Now that you have discovered your son’s true weaknesses, you can approach his school personnel with your concerns…

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/557.cfm

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My son is 14 and has Asperger’s. His main means of survival is lying. I can’t tell when he is telling the truth or not. Did he eat breakfast? Does he have lunch? Did he use soap in the shower? Did he do his homework? What do you recommend?

It is often said that kids with Asperger’s cannot tell lies. The truth is, they can learn, as you well know. Asperger’s Syndrome is a spectrum, and while children with Asperger’s will have the same basic characteristics, they are unique individuals with their own strengths and weaknesses. Children with Asperger’s Syndrome struggle with social communication, causing them to be very rigid thinkers. For instance, rules are rules, no exceptions. The thought of stating a falsehood does not come naturally…

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/556.cfm

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How can I motivate my boy with Aspergers to go out?

Sometimes it is more comforting to stay home. Home is a safe place where all of your son’s favorite things are. The people who love him are there and they accept him for who he is. When you look at it from his perspective, you can easily see why he prefers to stay in. He will not have to try to find his place among his peers if he hides out at home…

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/555.cfm

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How to help my son with Aspergers to make friends and fit in better? He is 10. He wants friends but how to get him to understand those who say they are friends but are just using him.

As a parent, your goal is a normal life for your son with Aspergers.  Friends are a big part of what we consider a normal life.  Without friends, it seems a person would be sad and lonely.  Some people do better with one or two good friends, while others feel the need to be surrounded by friends.  Chances are, your son falls somewhere in the middle. 

For a child with Aspergers, friends may seem beyond reach and understanding.  The desire is there, but because of low social skills, the knowledge of making and keeping friends is lacking.  Thankfully, these skills can be learned to a certain extent; well enough for a child to make and keep a few good friends.  These social skills are important for building friendships.

* Eye contact

* Ability to read social cues, gestures, and body language

* Understanding the concepts of sharing, taking turns, and two-way conversation

* Ability to understand and use slang, humor, and sarcasm

* Ability to give and take constructive criticism

* Being mindful of other people’s feelings; empathy

* Personal hygiene

All of these social skills, plus others, can be taught to enhance the Aspergers friend connection.  At the age of ten, your son should have access to support at school.  Social skills training, occupational therapy, sensory integration therapy, speech-language therapy, and cognitive-behavioral therapy are often suggested treatments for children with Aspergers Syndrome.  In addition, parents should also supplement these treatments with their own input at home.  Here are a few suggestions.

* Social skills classes can usually be found through Autism support groups.  Other opportunities for your child to learn hands-on social skills (with your guidance) are in groups or clubs geared to his special interests. 

* Children with Aspergers Syndrome are often rule followers.  Make a written list of rules used when dealing with friends.  For example, I will not stand too close to my friend; I will pay attention when he talks and take turns talking about things we both like; I will be mindful of my friend’s feelings.

* You can use social stories to guide your son through specific situations.  These stories are simply written, straightforward, and detailed.

* Role-playing is a very effective teaching tool for children with Asperger’s.  Play the role of a friend and act out a variety of scenarios.  Practice makes perfect!

* Peer mentoring is another option.  This is commonly used in the school environment, but you could find a relative or family friend to be your son’s peer model.  He can shadow this mentor and watch friends in action.

To get another perspective, check out this book by Joanna Keating-Velasco:  “A is for Autism, F is for Friend”.  This book is written from the perspective of an 11-year-old with Autism. 

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community
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How can I stop my son with Aspergers from touching other people’s faces?

People need personal space and will go to great lengths to protect their personal space, even to the point of anger. Unfortunately, children with Asperger’s Syndrome do not understand the concept of personal space. This lack of understanding, accompanied by the child’s weaknesses in the area of social skills and communication, make for a potential sticky situation. However, children with Asperger’s can be taught about personal space and unwanted touching …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/550.cfm

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My 11-year-old girl with Aspergers has mood swings, what can I do about them?

A common complaint from parents of children with Asperger’s is dealing with the mood swings and meltdowns that are a component of Asperger’s Syndrome. Emotional interaction and social communication are difficult for these children. These difficulties cause frustration that has to be relieved in some manner. Hence, the reckless mood swings …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/549.cfm

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What is NLP and can it be helpful for Asperger’s?

NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming is a behavioral or communication technology. Using NLP techniques, you can change or eradicate unwanted behaviors and implement positive behaviors. NLP has been referred to as an instruction manual for your mind. The name itself represents the connection between the brain, language, and the body. The techniques used in NLP call upon the complete realm of your life experiences: mentally, emotionally, and physically, to create lasting positive change …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/548.cfm

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PARENTING AUTISM & ASPERGER’S NEWSLETTER
June 2010        

Welcome to the June 2010 edition of “The Parenting Autism & Asperger’s Newsletter”. 

Inside this edition you will find:

1. Hot Topic of Discussion – Autism/Asperger’s on Prime Time TV!

2. In the News – The High Cost of Autism

3. Prominent People Linked with ASD -  English actress, Lizzy Clark

4. New Parenting Aspergers Resource

5. Aspergers Research

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1. Hot Topic of Discussion -   Asperger’s Syndrome Featured on Prime Time Television
The American television network, NBC, has recently released a prime time comedy-drama called, Parenthood.  The show is about the interactions of an extended family, including one child’s diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome.   The cast and crew of this show take great pride in their attempts of portray Asperger’s Syndrome as accurately as possible.  The show consults with many specialists involved in Autism Spectrum Disorders and has a behavioral therapist available to work with the actor playing the role of Max Braverman.

Many people feel that any time the general public is given a chance to see an accurate portrayal of Asperger’s Syndrome; it is a step in the right direction.  You can read more about NBC’s commitment to shining a positive and proper light on Asperger’s Syndrome in the following links:

http://www.theautismnews.com/2010/05/26/prime-time-television-tackles-autism/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenthood_(2010_TV_series

*People mentioned as having Asperger’s Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with an ASD.

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2.  In the News -   The High Cost of Autism Treatment

As more children receive the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder, the media is finally noticing the story many families have to tell about the high cost of Autism.  Most health insurance plans do not cover Autism treatments or even the testing it takes to receive the diagnosis. 

These medical appointments are very expensive and behavioral therapies used to treat children with Autism can easily cost more than $70,000.00 a year.  Most Autism specialists recommend many hours of therapy spanning several years.  In addition, many families dealing with Autism choose to try additional treatments, none of which are covered by insurance.  These families are beginning to demand attention.   Read more at http://www.theautismnews.com/2010/05/25/cost-of-treating-autism-shocking/.

 *People mentioned as having Asperger’s Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with an ASD.

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3. Prominent People Linked with ASD -  English actress, Lizzy Clark

Lizzy Clark became a professional actress in 2008 with the release of the BBC film, Dustbin Baby.  In the film, Lizzy plays the part of Poppy, a girl with Asperger’s Syndrome.  The filmmakers searched for an actress with Asperger’s Syndrome to play this part and it is believed to be the first instance of a person with Asperger’s Syndrome playing the part of a character with the condition.  You can learn more about Lizzy Clark and her movie by clicking the following links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lizzy_Clark#cite_note-BBC-0

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3240009/resume

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dustbin_Baby_(film)
*The person mentioned above may or may not have Asperger’s Syndrome.
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4. New Parenting Aspergers Resource

Just a quick heads up that I have nearly finished completing my latest Aspergers resource “The Parenting Aspergers Resource Guide Volume 3”. I hope to have it available by the end of the month. And without giving too much away yet – it covers a lot of topics that aren’t normally written about. So keep an eye out on your email at the end of the month for more details…

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5. Aspergers Research

I got an email recently by a researcher at Birmingham University in the UK asking for any experiences that people had of young people with Aspergers in the Criminal Justice System. If you are able to help her out please respond to her directly. Below is the email from her:

“I am a researcher currently conducting a study at Birmingham City University specific to offenders with Asperger’s syndrome and high functioning autism.

The working title of which is:
 
‘Young Offenders with Aspergers Syndrome:To what extent can the criminal
justice response be considered appropriate?’
 
As you will be aware, autism and Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) remain subject to societal misperceptions. Numerous academic authorities express concern that those working within the various sectors of the criminal justice system lack the requisite understanding of this disorder necessary for the fair and
appropriate management of those with AS at various stages of the criminal
justice processes. Yet despite suggestions in academic texts that those
with Autistic Spectrum Disorders including AS are potentially
over-represented within both the adult and youth penal systems, there is a
dearth of literature pertinent to the experiences of those with AS who
entered the criminal justice system prior to the age of 18.
 
My research will examine the views and experiences of such young people and will, as the title explains, consider the degree to which the criminal
justice response to young people with Asperger’s syndrome is appropriate- an issue which the current literature reveals, has to date been afforded
inadequate attention by social researchers. The research aims are to:
 
• Critically examine the criminal justice response towards young AS
offenders and the implications that current youth justice policy presents
for issues of discretion in arrest and sentencing practices.

• Evaluate the degree to which that response might be considered appropriate for those affected by AS, placing particular emphasis upon issues of children’s rights.

This will be a qualitative interview-based study and I very much hope to
include the views of parents, carers and practitioners with regard to how
affected individuals cope in their encounters with the various criminal
justice agencies.
 
I am currently seeking participants for this study and would like to hear
from those with AS who have came into contact with the criminal justice
system prior to the age of eighteen (regardless of their current age). Where
appropriate and/or possible I am also interested to hear the views of their
parents/carers/partners and maybe an associated practitioner/professional
who has an understanding of any difficulties which may have arisen. I must
stress that anyone who chooses to contact me will not be placed under any
pressure to become involved, nor to involve others in the interview process.
Indeed, if anyone is uncomfortable with the idea of taking part in an
interview and would prefer to contact me by email or post to describe their
experiences their participation will be welcomed. Given that there is
currently very little research specific to the experiences of young people
with AS/ASDs who enter the criminal justice system, this research presents a
valuable opportunity for a representation of the views of affected
individuals.
 
The participant criterion is that the individuals must have a diagnosis of
Asperger’s Syndrome or autism and regardless of their current age, will have
encountered the criminal justice system (not necessarily custody, their
contact may be as minor as a police warning) prior to the age of 18.
 
Any information supplied by the research participants will be confidential
and handled in accordance with the Data Protection Act 1998, furthermore the recommendations and requirements of the university ethics committee and that of the British Society of Criminology will be adhered to. All participant identities will be fully protected.
 
My supervisor Laura Caulfield can be contacted at Laura.Caulfield@bcu.ac. or through the faculty office on 0121 331 5116. I have recently been awarded
a funded PHD studentship which commences in October 2010 to further develop this research under the supervision of Dr. Joanne Aldridge
J.Aldridge@lboro.ac.uk. Do not hesitate to contact either Laura at BCU or
Jo at Loughborough University to confirm any details.
 
I can be contacted via the university address at the top of this letter and
my contact details may be passed on to interested parties. Please feel free
to circulate the details of this study amongst partnership agencies to which
you feel it may be of interest.

I very much hope that you are willing to assist me in the identification of
potential participants.
 
I look forward to your response.
Kind regards,
Ann L. Browning.
Mob: 079 574 11139
Email: annbrowning2@hotmail.com. or ann.browning@students.bcu.ac.uk.
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I hope this month’s newsletter has intrigued you and provided new and useful information.

The next edition of the newsletter is due in July 2010.
      
And as always … please send in any inspirational stories, any questions that you would like our team of experts to answer, any topics that you wish to be discussed, and news stories that you want to share VIA THE BLOG.

We will publish as many as we can.

Until next month………

Best Wishes

Dave Angel

For teens with Asperger’s, dating can be too complicated to comprehend.  Some teens with Asperger’s may choose not to date at all, while others may put little thought into it at all, dating without rhyme or reason.  It helps if you can prepare your teen for the dating world beforehand.

There are several common problems for teens with Asperger’s.  Dating requires social skills, emotional attachment, interruption of routine, flexible thinking, and can often assault the sensory systems.  Advising your son on dating should include information on ways to handle these disruptions that will go against his personal make-up.

Adaptation to your son’s weakness and special attention to his strengths can help him overcome his unique Asperger’s dating issues.  For example, your son will need to practice flexible thinking.  Dating can mean changing plans and disagreements on activities.  Your son should be prepared for those times when he has to negotiate.  Here are a few other examples.

*    He needs to practice basic social skills.  Once he has gotten someone’s attention, he will need to be able to notice non-verbal communication, cues and gestures, personal space, etc.

*    He needs to practice emotion identification.  Dating and relationships are highly emotional.  He should be able to identify the emotions in a given situation and respond accordingly.

*    He needs to practice self-control.  Dating is disruptive to his usual routine and orderly life.  He should be able to accept change without it affecting his well-being.

*    He needs to be aware of his sensory weaknesses.  He should be mindful of atmosphere and physical touch when dating.

Be factual when talking with your son about Asperger’s and dating.  You should supply him with detailed information on acceptable age-appropriate behavior.  Make your son aware of the negatives like rejection and abuse.  Discuss with your son the benefits of dating someone who is like-minded when it comes to personal interests and personal beliefs.  Find resources that can guide you during this time.  “The Guide to Dating for Teenagers with Asperger Syndrome”, by Jennifer Uhlenkamp is a question and answer-style book on the challenges of dating and relationships.

Do not hesitate to enlist outside assistance if needed while managing the Asperger’s dating issue.  Social skills classes, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and psychological counseling are usually available to those with Asperger’s Syndrome and can be a great help.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

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Adolescence can be a very confusing and difficult time for children with Asperger’s.  Adolescence is complicated for all of us, especially for families who are unprepared for this time period.  You are very wise to plan ahead for your family’s journey into adolescence.  While planning ahead may not make the situation unfold painlessly, it will improve your chances for a smooth transition.

For children with Asperger’s, adolescence transition means much more than it does for typically developing children.  Areas of concern include:

*    Social skills like communication, personal space, basic personal hygiene, etc.

*    Developing a healthy self-image.

*    Education issues like special considerations and allowances due to specific weakness and strengths.

*    Appropriate knowledge of dating and sexuality.

*    Participation in all treatment options like classes, groups, therapy sessions, medications, etc.

It is especially important that you plan for all the issues that affect your child with Asperger’s during adolescence.  There are several treatment options that you can investigate.  However, the family environment can be extremely effective with or without additional outside therapies.  Here are some treatments you may choose to examine.

*    Social skills training-for non-verbal communication, social cues and gestures, etc.

*    Cognitive-behavioral therapy-for dealing with the feeling, emotion, and behavior connections.

*    Individual psychological counseling-for talking through issues and making plans.

*    Career counseling-to find the right career path for your child’s strengths and personality.

*    Medication-to help with depression, anxiety, and/or hyperactivity.

As another option for your child with Asperger’s, adolescence transition can be handled by caring parents in the home environment.  Here are a few suggestions.

*    Daily living skills-personal hygiene, home management, money skills, etc.

*    Organizational skills-time management.

*    Social development-making and keeping friends, keeping a job, etc.

*    Sex education-dating and sexuality knowledge.

*    College and career planning-choosing a career, planning for college, trade school, technical school, etc.

For children with Asperger’s, adolescence does not have to be especially difficult.  Using a published guide, you can cover all of these transition areas and more.  For example, “Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum: A Parent’s Guide to Cognitive, Social, Physical, and Transition Needs of Teenagers with Autism Spectrum’, by Chantal Sicile-Kira would be a good choice. Family support can make for a smooth transition from childhood into adulthood.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

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Articles and Video posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

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Aspergers Video – “Aspergers and Me”

A young man named JJ and his mom talk about what it was like as they struggled to find the right diagnosis for JJ as a child. Finally diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at the age of 17, JJ talks about his desire to find more information about teens and young adults living with Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome. JJ talks about his anger issues and his obsession with the film industry. It is JJ’s hope that by making this short Asperger’s awareness video, he will find more support for himself and others like him. Running time: 7 minutes, 50 seconds . . .

To watch this video go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/543.cfm

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How can I prepare my 16-year-old son with Aspergers for work experience?

One of the best things you can do for your 16-year-old is to talk with him about what having a job would mean in his life. Spend some time asking him about what sort of job he would be interested in. If he has a special interest or a hobby, perhaps he could pursue that interest. If he has an interest in movies, he could find a job in a movie theatre or video store. If he has an interest in video games, perhaps he could find work in a video game store. Encouraging him to pursue his interests will enable him to feel more confident when looking for a job …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/542.cfm

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Our son was finally diagnosed with Aspergers apx. 1 year ago (he is 37). He needs immediate and urgent help with coping with his loneliness which has lead to the addiction of inappropriate contact (computer, texting & cell phone only; no personal contact) with females who are much younger than himself; although he thought they were 18 or older when communicating with them. It has gotten him into trouble with the law and looks as though it will continue to do so. He is begging for help and I don’t where to get help for him. Do you have any suggestions?

It would seem that your son has a high ability to function if he was diagnosed with Asperger’s one year ago. As a thirty-seven year old who now has had trouble with the law, he is going to need to make some changes in his life. He will need help making those changes …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/541.cfm

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