How do I get my son with Aspergers to understand that he could possibly hurt someone when he over reacts?
Question:
How do I get my son with Aspergers to understand that he is very strong and could possibly hurt someone when he over reacts?
Answer:
Children with Autism are sometimes unaware of their power and physical strength. When your son gets upset, he can easily become completely overwhelmed, losing control emotionally and physically. A simple unexpected change in his daily routine can lead to a battle of will and muscle. Unfortunately, tantrums and meltdowns can escalate to a dangerous level when you least expect it. Parents can step in and regain control when their children are young. However, as the children get older, it becomes a huge problem.
First, let’s discuss some causes for your son’s over reactions. Rigid thinking and a lack of social skills are common culprits. In addition, sensory issues and obsessive thinking may also play a role. Discovering the exact sources of your son’s negative responses can help you find a solution to the problem. At the very least, you can reduce the number of meltdowns he has and find other ways for him to deal with his emotions. Here are some tips that may help you.
- Anger is a heavy emotion that comes from deep inside. Have your son talk or write about the things that make him angry. Releasing these feelings verbally or by writing them down can be a tremendous stress reliever. Help him recognize and identify both the feeling of anger and the source of anger. For example, sometimes anger starts as embarrassment and escalates because of inner conflict. Sometimes it starts as sadness. If we are unable to deal with the original emotion, it can grow to become anger.
- Some kids do better speaking with a neutral individual. A guidance counselor or school social worker may be able to help. A therapist specially trained to work with children with Autism is your best choice.
- Practice a few physical exercises with your child to show him how strong he is. A contest involving push-ups, age appropriate heavy lifting, and bicep curls, or an arm wrestling match will be a fun way to show him how he compares in strength to other family members. Use this time to remind him how easy it would be for him to hurt another person.
Your best bet for success is to help your son retrain his mind. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy focuses on how we let our emotions control our actions. This therapy uses techniques that help you recognize when you are allowing your emotions to take control, then offers an alternative solution. It is highly successful for many symptoms of Autism. You can find a trained CBT therapist or find references published for home use. An excellent book to start with is Exploring Feelings: Cognitive Behavior Therapy to Manage Anger by Tony Attwood (please click this link to find out more)
Thanks,
Dave Angel