Aspergers and split personality

Filed under:Aspergers Diagnosis,Other — posted by admin on March 31, 2009 @ 12:29 pm

Welcome to this week’s Aspergers blog post.

Just a quick reminder that I recently extended the current introductory offer at The Parenting Aspergers Community and it now has just 24 hours to run.

So if you want to find out more or join now please head over to:

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/10.cfm

OK let’s get into this week’s article …

Question

Is it common for a child with Asperger’s to have a split personality? My son is a really good kid at school, but then a complete monster at home. Is this normal?

Answer

Asperger’s Syndrome is known to manifest itself differently with different children. Also, children with Asperger’s Syndrome may react differently to various situations depending on their individual personalities. Your child may feel more comfortable with the familiar surroundings at home, and feel freer to act out more at home than in public, where he is surrounded by strangers and in a less familiar environment. The stress of school may be relieved by a “meltdown” or other difficult behaviour at home. This is a common occurrence.

Dr. Tony Attwood, a clinical psychologist, is a world renowned expert on Asperger’s Syndrome. Here is what he says about split personality and Asperger’s. “Quite a few children with Asperger’s Syndrome are Dr. Jeckylls and Mr. Hydes. They are saints at school, but they soak up the anguish, then squeeze it out on their brothers and sisters when they get home. We do not know why this happens…” This quote may be found at: http://www.awares.org/pkgs_files/librarydoc_134.doc .

Asperger’s is treated in two ways, and both of them help manage the anxiety that accompanies this illness. The first is cognitive psychology, and the second is prescription medication. The first thing you need to do in order to help your son is to find a psychiatrist or psychologist who specializes in Asperger’s Syndrome. This specialist will be able to help your son. He or she will help you and your son discover the reasons behind his behavioral changes.

In addition, a specialist will help you do two things:

1. Modify the situation or the environment in which he lives to reduce difficult behaviour;

2. Create interventions for handling your son’s anxiety.

Please don’t be intimidated. Changes don’t have to be complex or unmanageable. The changes you need to make might just involve changing lighting to a lower level, adjusting sound levels in your home, or creating a new schedule.

If initial interventions do not help, a psychiatrist can prescribe medications which will provide your son with the help he needs. It’s important to note that psychotropic (mood-altering) drugs like Zoloft or Prozac can help children, but they can also cause serious problems for children. If the psychiatrist prescribes medication, ask about dosage levels and, more importantly, side effects. Just about all drugs have side effects, and it’s important for you to know about them so you know what to expect. You know your son better than anyone else; ask yourself if he can handle side effects like nausea, hypersensitivity, or prolonged sleepiness. These are all possible, depending on the medication prescribed.

You can obtain additional information about this subject in the book A Parent’s Guide to Asperger Syndrome and High-Functioning Autism: How to Meet the Challenges and Help Your Child Thrive by Sally Ozonoff, Geraldine Dawson, and James McPartla.

This book was written to help parents of children with Asperger’s Syndrome or High-Functioning Autism (AS/HFA). The book contains common terms and strategies for by AS/HFA. You can use this book as a reference during your child’s developmental years. The book advocates capitalizing on your son’s strengths and the challenges he will face on a daily basis. One of the highlights of this book is that it will help you to distinguish between your son’s adolescent issues and the effects of autism/Asperger’s.

That’s it for this article and don’t forget if you want to get in on the current special offer at Parenting Aspergers Community head over now to …

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/10.cfm

Take care

Dave Angel

comments (29)

29 comments »

My 12 yr. old son is the opposite – he is much better at home and among familiar and “safe” environments, but gets in trouble and acts inappropriately at school, where it is stressful, overstimulating, and socially overwhelming…Just goes to show you that no two kids, whether they’re “Aspies” or not, are the same.
Comment by Dan — March 31, 2009 @ 2:11 pm
My son has always been ok at school and a nightmare at home, i often questioned if his diagnosis was correct as the school never said there were problems. His teacher came to do a home visit, my son turned his back on her in the home environment and refused to speak to her, she was shocked to see the difference in his personality/ behaviour. It was a real tonic to read this article and realize that it is normal for this to happen.
Comment by Claire — March 31, 2009 @ 4:18 pm
Hi, my 12 year old is exactly the same & it’s the most frustrating thing as no one ever sees the full display of temper which makes me feel like a neurotic mother and very guilty for moaning about him & his behaviour. Keep smiling – you’re not alone.
Comment by Claire — March 31, 2009 @ 4:48 pm
I can totally relate!!! When I drop my 13 yr. old Aspie daughter off at school, it takes me at least 10 minutes for me to “decompress”, & I feel as tired as if it were midnight. Thank God for my personal relationship with Christ!!! It keeps me sane! It also keeps me in prayer ~ which is a good thing! Keep up hope!
Comment by Sheri — March 31, 2009 @ 6:36 pm
Hi, our son is 16 now and is having less meltdowns, in fact we are noticing that he will actually apologise when he has had a meltdown after school. He is so overloaded when he walks in the door from school and doesn’t like us to say too much. I think he gets exhausted from all the social interaction and being told what to do all the time. I let him be and try to keep up beat in my attitude towards him and stand clear when he’s letting off steam!
Comment by josie — March 31, 2009 @ 6:36 pm
Thanks for your words of wisdom Cherie, I too have a strong relationship with God and find prayer nuture’s my heart when I feel beaten down seeing my son through his difficulties…
Comment by josie — March 31, 2009 @ 6:40 pm
I can relate!! My son is 15 and can be the sweetest teenager, then if he doesn’t get his way after much persistence, can get so angry that his whole personality changes. He’s like a different child. For example when it’s time to get off of the computer game… He has even commented on his “evil” twin. Kindof scary at times.
Comment by liz — March 31, 2009 @ 9:57 pm
I can also really relate. The teachers thought my daughter was the most polite, kind and caring child and also looked at us in astonishment when we talked about her ‘problems’! At home she was rude, selfish and grumpy. However, we started to see that the the behaviour at home reflected real tensions at school – the ruder she was, the bigger the underlying anxiety. Although she never talked about school problems, once we had made the connection, we could understand her better and try and talk to her about what was wrong – often it was bullying or an upcoming test and then we could deal with it. She is at a new school for high school and we know she’s happy because she is in a much better mood at home!
Comment by Bryony Evans — April 1, 2009 @ 2:06 am
My 10 year old son with Aspergers is the same. If he has a particularly bad day at school he is a total nightmare at home. You can not get him to co-operate at all. He also can have meltdowns at home and I have to warn his teacher when I take him in so she is prepared for problems during the day. I also have to take around 15 mins to sit down to recover and recharge batteries when I drop him off at school. I also have to prepare myself 10 mins before school to pick him up so I can cope with him until the next morning when I drop him back of to school. I dread when the phone rings as he does have meltdowns at school and can get pretty violent as he cannot handle some situations in school. Most of the time he is pretty good at school but he has 1 to 1 contact most of the day and the person with him can generally control him pretty well. As said by Bryony bullying is a problem. Hopefully things will get better when he starts senior school in September.
Comment by Karen Hughes — April 1, 2009 @ 2:26 am
My daughter is the same way. She is almost 17 now. when people out in public tell me what a sweet girl she is, I say “thank you, she does have a very sweet side to her” and leave it at that. I know the truth, and I know most of the public wouldn’t understand, so I don’t go into it too much anymore.
Comment by vicky tuttle — April 1, 2009 @ 7:23 am
My daughter has high functioning Austism and I find i have the same problem.
She holds it all together at school and then comes home to release her tension and anxiety. i made the tough decision to medicate her and what a difference it has made in out lives. She wont be on medication forever but it is getting us through the tough times.
it is nice to not have knives pulled on me or heavy objects thrown at me and nice to have not been kicked or punched lately.
Comment by Tami — April 1, 2009 @ 9:49 am
I have two children, one with autism and one with aspergers, the autistic one displays such awful behaviour at home, yet when he goes to school he is lovely. It does make me feel i am doing something wrong when the school tells me he behaves there!
Comment by Chris Long — April 1, 2009 @ 10:01 am
My son is an angel at my house 90% of he time. He is five years old and in kindergarden and was diagnosed about 6 months ago. He now has a teacher’s aide with him all day which has allowed him to stay in the “normal” class. He was in trouble every day at school until he started getting counceling and a “chew toy” to help relieve some of his stressors, as well as a few other tools. Now he is doing much better. Taking him out in public can still be a nightmare so trips are kept very short and he is informed about everything we are going to do while we are out. This helps a lot, but he is still very capable of having a “melt down”.
Comment by David Armenta — April 1, 2009 @ 10:10 am
My son always displayed good behaviour out( until about 7) and melted down at home. I came to realise at home he felt safe to melt down. It was my learning to manage and allow him to
Comment by Jenny — April 1, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
YES split personality Yes I have Aspergers its kind of like personal chaine of body langguage .That makes peopel think I have a split personality!. Its just peopels interpetatationt thats is wrong!! that I have a Rember body langage like 24/7 ! & singnals is not the same as Otheres you can’t assume or expect an posture From Me .This can Be Misleading to others .I can get the full meaning in this but my body dose not do it natrail allowing me to look sad or happy or I might be looking wt apprehension or defensive When I am in fact veary ( Intrested ) I will call this an Non-verbal dimension with As/HFA.One moment I could be thinking of The Maths of IIIustration 42 then have to sit a certen way becoues some nice looking lady sits down across the room.My mind dose not see to to broching her personal area…on the wall behind her with the wourld MAP.I am opposite to The ider about ASD with A split personal/prolbems. But If Im steven one day and simion the next may bee!!But whats wrong with imaginary Freinds when your 05 .or at 15 is there a law agents this cheers From David RS Greer One of my hobbs is this ???- + ???? coad breaking in 4d formate And a gest specker for the glactic fed 2012 Fror peopel with aspie the The rights 4 smartest life on Earth THATS FACT NOT FANTACY .I cant talk about that can I !!..Becouse I might be more labeld or have bad public relation THINK ABOUT IT!Im just heigh function and life is ok .my interaction is not Food Dieat dose affect me some do make me Isoslated but I think I feel happy .We all act diffrently around certin groups .Peopel with ASD can be invariably-ioity mentinaly crossed thats all wow! thats hard to explanine and spell too. Do YOU GET MY PIONT PLEASE WRIGT BACK }.
Comment by David rs Greer — April 1, 2009 @ 5:58 pm
my 7 year old son, has odd as well as being adhd and aspergers. He is difficult all the time, but better at school. We see a therapist once a week and he does have good days but mostly he’s very defiant. its gotten better as he is getting older, but still very frustrating.
Comment by debra kakaris — April 2, 2009 @ 6:50 am
I have a 17 year old son. He was first diagnosed with bi-polar at age 6. When he was 14, the doctors said he did not have bi-polar but, instead he had aspergers syndrome. He says, ” It doesnit matter what the label is, my brain still works the same!”
He is addicted to on-line computer games like “World of Warcraft” etc.. He stays up until 3 or 4 in the morning and then wants to sleep until 1-2 the next day, and is impossible to be around if he is made to get up earlier. Is this “normal” for older asperger teens? Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to change his sleeping habits? He also wants to eat until he finally is ready to go to bed? He is disrupting the whole household. Without sleep it is getting almost impossible to stay calm and supportive with him.
Sandy, Traverse City,Michigan
Comment by Sandy King — April 2, 2009 @ 9:09 am
I was recently (last few years) diagnosed with Asperger’s/ASD (I’m 34 now) but I remember as a child feeling like I had two different personalities. I was an angel at school but at home that’s where all my anger came out. Some of it was problems at home, but I think a lot of it was that having grown up with my parents, they had been with me from day 1 so I didn’t have anything to “hide”, but with other people that didn’t know me as well I didn’t feel as comfortable letting them see that side of me. Even now I don’t “vent” where I don’t feel comfortable, so my husband sees a side of me that few other people do! I also have a 6 year old daughter who has Asperger’s or some kind of sensory processing disorder (undiagnosed) and I see some of that in her (though not as extreme). I know she doesn’t act the same way at school as she does at home, or I’d be hearing about it from her teachers! But we have had a few problems with her at church.
Comment by Cindy McClung — April 2, 2009 @ 6:38 pm
You have described my 6 year old son perfectly! He is amazing at school – I pick him up and the meltdowns go on for no particular reason until he goes to bed! Very early usually for his own safety! lol
Comment by Cindy Durnan — April 2, 2009 @ 10:25 pm
i can totally relate to that to my son is very withdrawn at shcool . and says nothing to no one he keeps his head down and keeps out of trouble yet he gets bullied to.hes aspie at 14 at mainstream school. but in the home invoroment thats when he lets his frustration out and dosent handle socal surroundings much so mostly stays in side on his laptop or exbox. a parrent with little surport
Comment by michelle — April 3, 2009 @ 3:42 am
I can also relate. My 18 year old son would keep his head down all day, speaking with no one, not even authority figures. When spoken to, he just stayed silent. At home, however, he is somewhat jovial, playing video games, talking with family members fairly frequently. But, when he feels he is being intruded upon, he changes instantly. He bullies everyone around him, including the youngest children in the home, ages 6 and 7. Sometimes the mood swings become so bad that we need to make sure he is left alone for fear of “snapping”. Because of the mood instability he can’t really be trusted alone with the younger kids, so there has to be an adult present at all times. He is medicated, but at his age, it is difficult to monitor if he is actually swallowing his pills. Per his mood, it appears sometimes that he is not following through with what the doctor’s tell him to do. It is frustrating, because he knows that he is un-balanced for lack of a better word, and uses that knowledge to manipulate the family. He is very intelligent, and if it is possible, he has learned to use his Asperger’s Syndrome to keep everyone around him guessing as to what is going to happen next. Needless to say, it causes a very stressful environment……
Comment by Lisa — April 5, 2009 @ 11:20 am
Hi Lisa You say He is medicated!Did you know most autistic peopel dont speek untel thay are older.
some even learn to walk befor thay start to crawl!
He might be a lot smarter than just normel smartness.
Get him to chose a music instrument him self!.
and get him to play and reward him.
Food diat will have a lot to do with his moody ness.Its extreamly stressfull -lould noise direct eyey contact floresents lightig ect..Dose he have specail intrest?
When he througs a fit remove him from the situation .And weight un tell he carms down..
good info from David rs Greer ..
Comment by David rs Greer 33 year old with aspie — April 14, 2009 @ 5:13 am
Hello!!! i HAVE A 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND SHE IS OPPOSITE, VERY MUCH A MONSTER IN SCHOOL AND CALMER AT HOME WE DO GO NATURALPATHIC, HAVE BEEN FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS,SHE JUST STARTED KAVINACE AND TRAVACOR JR A FEW DAYS AGO, MY DAUGHTER CAN ACT LIKE A 12 YR OLD AND THE NEXT WEEK A 6YR OLD i HAVE SUCH AHARD TIME, AND FEEL SO BAD FOR HER, ANY ADVICE? wOULD SO APPRECIATE IT, WE HAVE OUR lORD AS WELL TO DEPEND ON!!!!mANY bLESSINGS TO ALL i PRAY FOR ALL ASPIE PARENTS
Comment by Lisa — April 21, 2009 @ 9:16 am
Just give lots of love and lots of support the bad times won’t last For ever…for yout faimaly.
A real heavy cool blanket can be there if the chhild wants it to carms down Anzity..Is worse for an ASD child becouse we are hyposensivitive to sight & smell a faavorty toy can carm the child good luck…do try autistic child is linked to
Food diat and artifical sweetners are no go for behaviouer too .Kids do need natail surger but the sweetners NO!.two diffrent sugers ovoid SACK RON …..AND COAD and up ZINK UP KEEP ,,,
Rember IM wourd known…AND HAVE ASD MY SELF..
Comment by David rs Greer 33 year old with aspie — April 25, 2009 @ 9:09 am
psychology techniques such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy …
Comment by David rs Greer 33 year old with aspie — April 25, 2009 @ 9:14 am
my 16 year old son is fine in school – other then his brain not hearing what the teachers are saying the way they are. at home he is horrible. like dr jykle and mr hyde…..he describes it as having two hearts…..a good one and a bad one
Comment by wendy harris — July 24, 2009 @ 2:50 pm
lisa – april message. i would love to talk with you. my son who is 16 is exactly as u described your son. he took is / was/ medicated but his outbursts can be scary. i too can not leave him with younger kids, but he doesnt see this in himself and just thinks we don’t trust him. if there is a way to get my email, please write me as i need another parent of a teen to talk with
Comment by wendy harris — July 24, 2009 @ 2:57 pm
tari.. i can relate.. to the knives and heavy books and shoes being thrown at me. i really wish i had some of your email addressess so i could talk to another parent……..
Comment by wendy harris — July 24, 2009 @ 3:02 pm
I too can relate to you wendy.My tip is to realy look at what can start him off. Always talk to him calmly and slowly when he gets into his bad behavoir. You are not the fist to have this happen nor the last. There is help out there for you.
Comment by James Martin — July 25, 2009 @ 2:09 am