Why does my daughter with Asperger’s think it is OK to lie- even when it is obvious that she will be caught at not telling the truth?
It is often said that, for children with Asperger’s, lying is not possible. Children with Asperger’s can be very rigid thinkers, seeing things as either black or white, with no room for grey areas. They also tend to be rule followers. The concept of lying goes against these qualities. However, not only is the concept of lying possible, it is probable that your child will push the boundaries of truth at some point and tell a few whoppers. Why? Because humans have free will and that free will allows each of us an opportunity to question the boundaries.
In some cases, co-morbid conditions like OCD and Anxiety Disorder play a part as they pair with Asperger’s. Lying can become an obsession, a compulsive behavior, or a symptom of anxiety due to these additional conditions. Children with Asperger’s Syndrome may justify lying in these instances. You can be sure that your daughter has justified lying or she wouldn’t take the chance of getting caught. It is important that you get to the heart of the matter. Here are a few suggestions.
- Your daughter must have a set of rules to follow. Rules and routine create order. When there is order, there is calm and obedience. Make sure your daughter is aware of the house rules regarding lying, as well as the consequences if she is caught.
- An evaluation with a psychologist or neuropsychiatrist can reveal additional problems that may contribute to your daughter’s habitual lying. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Anxiety Disorder are just a few possibilities. Sometimes treating the symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome and other co-morbid conditions will improve negative behaviors.
- Talk therapy can help your daughter express her reasons for lying. Maybe lying makes her feel more important or more in control of the outcome of certain situations. A trained counselor or family therapist may be your answer. Your daughter’s school can give you information on therapy options in your community. Your pediatrician can offer referrals.
- Children with Asperger’s sometimes feel alone and invisible. In some instances, lying is a child’s way of seeking attention. It doesn’t matter if the attention from getting caught in a lie is negative; it feels good just to be noticed.
For children with Asperger’s, lying can be a symptom of something much bigger and much more complex than telling a story for the sake of a lie. With some investigation, hopefully the reason for your daughter’s behavior will be revealed and managed.
zero comments so far
Please won't you leave a comment, below? It'll put some text here!
Copy link for RSS feed for comments on this post
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.