I find it hard to motivate my son with Asperger’s…

14 comments »

1. Sounds like most children / teenagers today…..

   Comment by Sally s. — January 1, 2013 @ 2:03 pm

2. I have a daughter with Asperger’s. We have the same problem her hanging on the computer and not very motivated. We had her evaluated with a councelor, it turned out she had issues with anxiety that medication helped with. Instead of facing the world she burried herself in “her” computer world to get by. With the right help in cuonceling and meds, she is now aware, and looking forward to holding down a job and moving to her own place. She is also more social. She faces the fears instead of avoiding them.

   Comment by Donna Dietterick — January 1, 2013 @ 3:20 pm

3. I usually encourage my daughter to draw me pictures. She likes to draw and uses lots and lots of detail in her pictures. When she shows me her drawings, I ask her lots of questions and it is clear to see that she expresses her feelings in her pictures. (Sometimes she will even sit down and write stories to express her feelings that way) This opens the door to conversation and motivation to do something about her fears and her worries. The other benefit is that is keeps her so occupied that she forgets about the television and the computer.

   Comment by Lorraine — January 1, 2013 @ 11:53 pm

4. Well, here is an interesting achievement for my Aspergers teen, he was failing in High School,and was very upset about one of his teachers bullying the students. I tried to take that one on, but decided to work the 504 instead. Its amazing what they will do for you. However, I found an alternative school that has a small population of kids. we talked about moving away from his friends, he wanted to drop out but I said no, that was not an option. At the very least I want him to graduate High School. We talked about how he is still on line with his (perceived)friends, and that they don’t really go away. We went to the interview, and started the alternative school a day later. Push back? You bet, but I did’nt give in, just explained that he needed to give it a try. He likes it!! He thinks it’s easier (his grades have come up) and he likes the teachers. My next project is to get him to at least try in art! There’s just nothing going on between his head and his hand. He’s flunked art once before, but now it counts. The draw back at the Alternative School is the lack of electives. Once I get him out of school, he wants to be a voice actor. This is a big step for him, he had no vision of his future at all before he took an acting class, and actually participated in a school play. Amazing. He is not into any kind of physical demonstration of affection or that kind of thing. Way to go Aspie! I tried GABA for a few weeks, but he stopped because he was having weird dreams. Bummer, he was so nice to be around then, not aggressive and stressed out – calm. Oh well. Need to work on the sleeping issues, he begs me to give him over the counter sleep aids, but I don’t know how safe they are. Suggestions welcome.

   Comment by Jana Moffat — January 2, 2013 @ 12:04 am

5. We are not told how old the son is. This could be important, because if he is 15-17 or so it is common for boys that age, even without Asperger’s,to spend time in their rooms by themselves. If he is an adult however, his mum should make every effort to get him out and mixing, otherwise he may end up with a mental illness such as depression/anxiety. Of course it’s controversial as to how much violent computer games affect people’s behaviour, but if that’s what he’s playing it can’t be good if he’s isolated all day with these images. Even if you can get him to go the shops with you and help you to get him out of his room that would be better. You may have to give him a day or twos’ notice that you would like him to do shopping with you. If it’s something big, like joining a club, he may need some weeks’ notice, and the date/activity written up on a year planner or calendar that he can see whenever he wants.

   Comment by Christine — January 2, 2013 @ 12:29 am

6. It seems that regulating sleep is hard for our kids. Sleeping not enough or too much especially in holiday periods. My daughter was staying up till 3am and 5am pre christmas and now is sleeping hours a day sleeping in and going to bed at 6PM. I thought she was developing a mental health disorder. anyway in some ways it is reassuring to know others are in similar situation. Cheers Helen

   Comment by Helen — January 2, 2013 @ 12:57 am

7. My son is the same, but I do have him involved he plays soccer and is starting basketball. I was worried on how he would act with other but seems to be great defense in soccer “let hope basketball goes well.” However melatonin at night helps a lot and it is over the counter and was recommended by his doctor. The computer can over stimulate the brain and keeps them from releasing energy try to do things during the day to help get his energy out as well.

   Comment by Amanda — January 2, 2013 @ 3:20 am

8. I recently joined your website and it’s good to know there are other parents with the same issues. My son is 24 and was diagnosis with AS 10 years ago. The one thing he really wants is to meet a girl and date but we live in a small town in Ok. How can I help him?

   Comment by Carol Goodman — January 2, 2013 @ 7:47 am

9. I’m Grahim to leave the house to join in family funnny to my 9 yr. old grandson who I strongly suspect has a mild form of Asbergers (His mom refuses to take him for evaluation, believing nothing is wrong with him)Q: Any ideas for encouraging him to get out of house for family fun…eating out, ice skating, etc? Thanks, Granny

   Comment by Dianne Moran — January 2, 2013 @ 9:13 am

10. We tried to get our son involved in non-computer activities such as football and baseball. Football was too much contact and “pain”, he has a very low tolerance of pain. He played baseball from 8-14, but his skills such as throwing and running normally were complicated by his Aspergers. Now 15, these are not options. He loves computer games like Modern Warfare so we have to restrict him constantly. He does like the game and sociallizing with his “friends” online. Not sure how to get him off computer at this age. he loves Paintball but that is hard to do regularly and inexpensively. Any ideas?

    Comment by Jack — January 2, 2013 @ 1:32 pm

11. When I read the question, I thought I wrote it!!! This is the main problem with my 17 year old son. He is always in his room and on that computer. When he was younger the incentives used to work, but they are no longer. He is attending a trade school (that is a high school as well) to learn computers (IT). The only time he is really out of his room is when he is in school. But, there is one exception…he tried out for the community play and made it! He is so excited. Since he is always playing games where he is “role playing” I thought trying out for the play would be perfect for him. Play practice starts next week. I am so happy for him. Now…how do I get him to apply for a job and one that he will not get fired due to his disability….I look forward to more information on this topic.

    Comment by Gina Campana — January 3, 2013 @ 10:55 am

12. My son too does not seem to understand being in the now, how to prioritize his work load he seems so laziofair help

    Comment by Sadie Campbell — January 4, 2013 @ 8:18 pm

13. My 21 year old is the same. She has not matured enough for college and refuses to go until someone asks why she hasn’t attended then blames me. Psychiatrist and counselor said to let her try a part time job, one she likes and let her worry about college later when she is ready. It was also recommended that I buy her a car to encourage her to want to mature and drive. Well another year and a half later: We went through our local OPPS office, became evaluated for a job coach, started trial two hour jobs for them to evaluate her. They took her to only one she actually liked. They took her to baby sit two special needs kids, mostly providing talk and interaction while mom was away, not really doing anything. They took her to our local humane society where she played with cats for social interaction because by the time they got her there, the cleaning part was done and only interaction part left so she loved that part. Then they took her to the one job she asked them not to have her do. One they PROMISED not to take her to: “Washing dishes in a nursing home.” It’s overly hot, back breaking and constantly on her feet. So she never wanted to trust this lady again. Total wash out on that one. As to her car, she loves claiming it, but refuses to ever attempt to drive it. I even kept her permit up in hopes oneday she would. Permit was a fight since they want to control her being medically approved for renewal each year to see if she is competent enough to drive. Doesn’t matter if they renew it over and over and over..they never stop making her feel like she is worthless and cant drive by having to have medical approval on a brilliantly smart person. So I battle that attitude too. Being in a rual area, things she finds interest in are at a great distance…they involve WOLVES, FOXES, WEREWOLVES, ANIME. Unless you want to include Shopping and eatting out. Where she can spend her money, wasting it on items she doesn’t need for her overwhelmingly loaded room. Yes she hoards! Everything has a meaning. And she only has one room and one closet. She was misdiagnosised until age fourteen. So lots of bad behavior/coping skills where in place. She has been let down and left out with tools and opportunities. TEEACH did not know how to deal with a older child when we when there at fourteen. They treated her in every respect like she was five years old. She may be imature and treat you that way, but the older part of her doesn’t like being treated that way back. I have NO where to turn, NO place to send the brilliantly smart child to mature, grow and survie this world when I die. I’m at a total loss! She is brilliantly smart above my intellengence and refuses to learn to cope with life. My heart breaks every single day! Why is there not REAL help, realistic help for this kids so they can grow up and lead productive lives? I’ve heard the above advice you have given, but it’s not realistic in all cases. Not when their psychiatrists, counselors only talk about her feelings when there, tell her what to do next time, but nothing and no one to help teach her to live and grow every day and excell. to be left out in school, be the most picked on kid while teachers say awe just ignore it, to be bullied beyond measure! And still we wait on a miracle! What we need is real realistic help! One insurance and medicaid would cover. I’m a desperate parent who would even be willing to place their child in a home/learning enviorment to make her do this. And there is no where to go.

    Comment by Katrina Benton — January 8, 2013 @ 10:30 am

14. Hi David , we have a 21 year old with Aspergers and we have the opposite problem.
    At night he stays up till all hours watching tv etc. But we cant get him out of bed the next day.He sleeps for 12- 14 hours a day? He woke up one day last week at 4.30pm??

    Comment by Paul — January 9, 2013 @ 6:42 pm

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