I am worried that my son with Asperger’s might get in trouble with the police if he is pulled over while driving.

Filed under:Aspergers Adults,Aspergers Behavior — posted by admin on October 23, 2012 @ 7:29 am

Question

I am worried that my son with Asperger’s might get in trouble with the police if he is pulled over while driving. Once he is pulled over it might cause him to become upset and trigger a meltdown. What can I do?

Answer

Your concerns are quite common for parents of older children and young adults with Asperger’s Syndrome. Many people, including law enforcement professionals, are totally unaware of the prevalence of Asperger’s Syndrome in every community. There is limited knowledge regarding the characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome. They simply would not recognize the condition if they saw it.

There are several characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome that can cause your teen or young adult problems when facing law enforcement professionals during intense situations.

The lack of social awareness, including social cues, gestures, body language, and the concept of personal space can be a big problem. If an officer of the law motions for your child to step back, he may not understand that motion. If he continues to advance, he could find himself wrestled to the ground. And that is just one example.

The inability to make eye contact is an often misunderstood problem. Making eye contact is very difficult for people with Asperger’s Syndrome. Some describe eye contact as physically painful. Law enforcement professionals are trained that a lack of eye contact means the person is guilty or lying. This is very unfortunate for people with Asperger’s Syndrome.

People with Asperger’s Syndrome have a likelihood of suffering high anxiety under stress. Professionals without knowledge of this condition can misunderstand this.

People with Asperger’s Syndrome sometimes speak in an inappropriate tone. Antagonistic patterns of speech may come across as argumentative during a legally charged situation.

Not only is it very important that we prepare our children for the world, we must also prepare our world for our children. The only way to do that is to promote awareness within your community. Here are some ways to do this.

Become active in your local Autism support organization. These groups have printed literature you can share with local businesses and government offices. They also may have programs and events that help promote awareness.

Tell your local law enforcement officers about your child. You can do this as part of the above-mentioned awareness activities, or you can make a visit to your local fire and police departments. Concerned citizens should be welcome at both facilities.

Make sure your child carries some type of medical alert identification card. This card may be invaluable if your child finds himself in a precarious situation.

Educating ourselves and those around us is necessary for the success of the Autism community.

Thanks,

Dave Angel

comments (10)

10 comments »

I’ve read on other websites that people with ASD may also fail the “field sobriety tests”, because some may not have the co-ordination to walk the line, walk and touch their noses, etc. without ever having touched a drop. If you have ASD, please make every effort to be “in the right” when driving. Because another thing about people with ASD getting into dust-ups with the law, is that ASD can very easily get misdiagnosed as something else, and people with ASD can thus end up in the mental health system, perhaps court-ordered to take medications they don’t need for hallucinations they don’t have.

Comment by Laura — October 23, 2012 @ 8:05 am
Thank you for an interesting article. Where can I get such a card.

Comment by Jennifer Houston — October 23, 2012 @ 8:22 am
Hi Dave! I would like to know about just what exactly should a ‘medical alert identification card’ have in terms of content. I could get one for my son (aged 16) who has been diagnosed with ‘very mild’ asperger syndrome by a clinical psychologist a few years back. Thanks!

Comment by j sung — October 23, 2012 @ 11:10 am
I think the reality of this situation is just rough and it will remain that way.

You’re essentially asking the police community to have more awareness of the Autism spectrum when the average police offer lacks even general knowledge of the law, let alone a condition that is not always obvious by sight. Also, police officers are not trained to be compassionate or forgiving. That’s not their job.

I think the better solution is to condition your son to at least “act” a certain way should he find himself in that kind of situation. Also, impression upon him that if he follows all traffic laws, he shouldn’t be pulled over. Due to the repetitive and love of facts nature of those on the spectrum, this could very well work out.

I truly feel for you and your son. My daughter has PDD, and I would also worry about her in this kind of situation. I often have to excuse how she speaks to people at times because she can come across as having a tone or down right rude. But Mom and I know she wouldn’t harm a fly, literally. She is only 10 right now but I can project some issues by the time she’s your son’s age. I would be livid if she suffered any ill-provoked abuses from the hand’s of law enforcement.

There’s two challenges here. Priming our children for the real world and priming the world for our real children. I believe priming the world can work but certainly not in every situation and definitely not where the police are concerned.

A police officer’s job is to enforce the law. The keyword being “force”. It is not their job to give an advanced psycho analysis of each person they suspect of breaking the law. Or that they’d even be capable of doing so. The other portion of their job description is to serve/protect. But that means serve/protect the interests of their department, which trickles up to the county and ultimately the State.

Some officers show compassion. I’ve personally have had experiences in which officers have shown a little empathy. But that’s more of a personal core value of that particular person/officer and not a core value or mission of the department as a whole. So we can’t count on it.

Furthermore, the psychological profile of your average human interested in law enforcement is more narcissistic/altruistic rather than empathic. So the mix of Narcissism and Autism could potentially be very volatile.

Train your child. In my view, going through similar struggles you go through, that’s where you have the most control in this particular situation.

Unfortunately, we can’t shield our children from everything. Some things they will have to learn on their own the “hard way”. Being a chronically over protective parent that statement doesn’t come lightly. But the truth doesn’t discriminate or make special allowances for anyone. If you can teach your son that somehow, I think it would greatly benefit him and the entire family, as well as the community.

Comment by Matthew Hartman — October 23, 2012 @ 12:29 pm
Dave, I still follow and need you. I have told hundreds about you.
I am having difficult times , poor Nick the school system here is awful
We are really going through it. He is bullied
And bullied even a teacher accused him of something and to cover herself is lying.
He was searched and police said everything was ok,
The teacher accused him of selling weed! He was borrowing a dime, 10 cents,
Both the girl and my son search. This article says it all
Roni

Comment by Roni Miller — October 23, 2012 @ 12:41 pm
This situation terrifies me! I have a 14 year-old and his meltdowns can be violent in nature, whether verbally or physically. I often worry about him getting angry because he is frustrated and afraid in a situation involving a police officer and that officer misreading the situation and who knows what could happen.

Comment by Christine powell — October 23, 2012 @ 8:22 pm
very helpful thank you.

Comment by martin s — October 24, 2012 @ 3:27 am
my son got in to trouble with the police 5 years ago He now carries a card to identify that he has aspergers it has a contact number for contact details

Comment by sue — October 24, 2012 @ 4:41 am
I worry that my son may blurt out threats in school things like “I am going to kill you” or “I wish I could hurt myself” which can get him into a lot of trouble. He doesn’t fully understand the consequences of making those statements, and could be trying to express his anger at something else. When he does get angry its often not even connected to the person he is saying those things to. He tells me he can’t stop himself from saying things sometimes even though he knows it is going to get him into trouble with his peers and teachers. He has never been physically aggressive at school. I have heard horror stories of asperger kids being arrested for uttering threats and taken away in handcuffs from their schools. I have advocated with every single teacher that he has had, most of whom have had experience with aspergers kids and what I hear is “I didn’t know that was a main symptom.” Our kids are all individuals and though there are some similarities between kids they are all different and teachers don’t seem to have the time, some of them don’t want to be bothered and focus on the less challenging kids in their class. Advocate, advocate, advocate…..its really important. I end up repeating myself a lot but its worth it for my son and all those kids with aspergers who are going to be at his school in the future. Take care Viv

Comment by Vivienne Bretherick — October 24, 2012 @ 7:02 am
I don’t have a positive view of law enforcement. I doubt they would be capable of understanding asperger’s in general, a lot of mental health professionals don’t even fully understand it. A lot of them have a narcisstic complex, and their job is solely to enforce the law as well as serve/protect. They are not trained to psychoanalyze autism or other disabilities. A few are compassionate, but not most.

Comment by Jerel Edmonds — January 6, 2013 @ 11:32 pm