Aspergers Diagnosis and Anger problems

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1. Relaxation techniques and calming alternatives are good to teach to them, but there is a real difference between anger and a meltdown, in which the child is no longer capable of logical decision making and control. These, once started, usually have to just run their course. You cannot reason or cajole the child out of it until it is over. Please realize that many of us live through these and know the difference.

   Comment by Velma Beale — November 10, 2009 @ 5:26 pm

2. Also try and establish when these outburst accur ie when going to school/or at school/ shops/is it when he hears loud noices fire /police sirens going past try and work out what happens before eah out bursts and there might a pattern.i hope this may help you.

   Comment by terry rodden — November 10, 2009 @ 6:56 pm

3. The brain cell killing, flavor enhancer Monosodium Glutamate is allowed by our FDA to hide in our food under 40 different names including “natural flavorings” which may or may not be MSG. It is in every live virus shot as a preservative and many people have noticed their children descending down into regressive Autism after those shots. I found out at the age of 52 if I avoid MSG (and it isn’t easy) I can avoid ALL the melt downs that have cost me so tragically and so GREATLY. Yes. I said ALL of them. I only have them if I fail to avoid it. Those started about the time they started putting this horrible stuff in our food supply in such abundance. I turned down 5 marriage proposals This increased poisoning of our food started at about the same time autism rates either started climbing or our kind started being noticed. I don’t think we have an Autism epidemic. I think we have an epidemic of sick Autists. Tesla & Howard Hughes didn’t get too weird to function until they were old enough to retire. Now kindergartners can’t function before we can make our considerable contributions to society and it is being noticed. Before that most of us passed for Neurotypicals most or all of our lives. By the way Big Pharma is working on medications to lower glutamate rates in the brain. Going to clean up in both directions.

   Comment by Elizabeth Hensley — November 10, 2009 @ 7:40 pm

4. my asperger son is 11 now and has very similar anger problems he could explode for the simplest reason like his pencil snapping! Regular time out (not just when he becomes frustrated)we also have introduced an achievement diary where the teacher writes down all the positive stuff (good for self esteem)there is the 5 point scale (didn’t work for us but has worked for others! we have introduced a yoga therapist (hard to find) but FANTASTIC and he has had 8-10 sessions with a pyschologist don’t know if i dare say this out loud but i think he is really in a good place at the minute! He can control himself most of the time and he now recognises when to remove himself! there is a book called aspergers dealing with anger and difficult moments (something like that anyway!)all the stuff the pyhchologist has gone through is in that book it’s great & it fairly plain English!! good luck x

   Comment by Roisin Babe — November 11, 2009 @ 3:51 pm

5. My son is almost 14 and getting ready to get his diagnosis. Time out has never worked for my son, neither have punishments or rewards… however, the one thing that works… and I must say, this should be common sense to any parent of a child with Asperger’s, since it’s one of their trades… LOGIC REASONING.
   Ever since I have found out about that, I use it. Sometimes he doesn’t like it, because he know’s I’ve got his “number”… it can actually be a bit sarcastically-humorous to him at that point and turn his feelings around… 2nd most important ting I found is to find a quiet/private space to let him calm down, if he needs further calming. Reassurance that I’m on his side and understand is very important. I try not show embarrassement or shame, because I shouldn’t have to feel any (sounds nice, but we all know it can be embarrassing, Aspergers or not) and I make it clear to him that his “actions” may cause embarrassement but that I am “never” embarrassed of him!! Huge difference, and he gets that!!
   I just ran that by him, and he gave me his seal of approval! Occassionally reading and talking about some of the posts with my son is a great way to talk about some of their difficulties and provides great lessons without them realizing it. I just ask him what he thinks and he talks without even realizing he is working on expressing feelings and conversation skills….LOL. Do I make sense? hope so.

   Comment by Christl Bragan — November 11, 2009 @ 10:53 pm

6. Please can anybody help or just chat to me about my problems. My son has been having problems since he started school – he is now in year 6 nearly 11. He has behavioural and learning difficulties although appears quite bright. He is now totally isolated from his peers, never gets invited to parties or peoples houses and I also have been isolated by the parents of these children and feel very hurt that in 5 years I have made no friends at the school. His behaviour is so up and down, mood swings, swearing, anxiety, anxious tics, I got called into school yesterday because he swore at his helper. He is undergoing a very slow assessment to see if he has anything on the autistic spectrum but it could be down to the fact that he had a very distressing birth and his brain was starved of oxygen. When I initially saw the doctor with him, he advised that what he was seeing was learned behaviour and that my single parent status didn’t help. Please please can anybody just chat to me about how I can deal with things, I am feeling very sad and lonely and don’t know how to deal with all the behaviours I am experiencing. Thanks in anticipation…..

   Comment by Amanda — November 12, 2009 @ 1:10 pm

7. My 5 year old, get’s so angry when he cant have his way. he storms off throws things, screams or cry’s. But it is a much better reaction than it used to be before he was in early intervention programs. He has been diagnosed for a year now and we have made great strides with his anger manangement. By doing a couple of things, preparation, preparation!! letting him know the next steps for the day, allows him time to filter it through his mind so there is no sudden change. And if he cannot have his way, offering 2 alternatives to his liking reduces the reaction to the “no” directive. hope this helps you. keep reading. peace and blessings.

   Comment by Monique Mosee-King — November 12, 2009 @ 2:03 pm

8. Hi. Our son is almost 21 yo. He has been diagnosed. He decided last month that he no longer wants to attend college. We’re trying to find him a job. How can we motivate him and help guide him to find a job/career that will keep him happy and motivated to go to work? He knows alot about sports. It’s amazing how much information he has in his head about the topic.

   Comment by Larry — November 13, 2009 @ 11:47 am

9. My son is now 11 and also deals with anxiety and fustration on a daily basis. The school he attends has been a great help over the years. They constantly educate themselves on Autism/Aspergers. When my son feels/knows he is about to “explode” due to whatever situation in the classroom he knows he can take out a “yellow break card” from his desk and leave the room. He will pace up and down the hallway and breath until he is fully calm. This works great for him. His aide used to have to give it to him when she saw him building it fustration, but he has now learnt to use it himself.

   Comment by Chantal Walterson — November 14, 2009 @ 8:11 am

10. Oh my, where to begin. So many posts have already hit the nail on the head, its uncanny how similiar our children are, that are aspergers. And many more who aren’t diagnosed. I am a firm believer that its in the food we eat, the medication we receive (shots), and the environment around us. My son is now 11, dx’d aspergers at age 9 after several other dx, odd, adhd, bipolar (never bought that one as he has no lows or depression at all), ocd etc. As far as learning, kindergarten was horendous and as a parent I did everything I possible could BEFORE he entered his first day. We went to several doctors who said give it more time, he may just be this way at home, since he wasn’t in daycare or preschool they seem unwilling to hear my concerns. I set up a meeting with the kindergarten teacher 2 days prior to first day to get him aquainted with her, go over what types of behaviors he was exhibiting at home and to let him see the class room and his desk. Well, on the very first day the teacher came running out to me saying she has NEVER seen a child so innapropriate in her life, he was under the desk, on top of the desk, running around the room, hitting other kids. Did I not take the time to warn her, did she not tell me everything would be OK, as the drs did as well. Ok so that year went really bad but I got my gratification when I finally spoke up to that teacher at the end of the year in an IEP meeting, she cried, I felt redeamed. She was so wrong to abuse ME throughout that year and accused me of messing my sons life up by not sending him to preschool. Her nerve, but I showed her. Instead of entering my son into 1st grade we opted for transitional 1st grade, absolutely the best year of his school life to date. The teacher had a HUGE role in that, she was bubby, so very nice, animated at times, sung alot to the kids. She just knew what she was doing .. period! And it just went downhill after that year. It was so very hard to see such regression, so I opted to have him placed in an emotional support school. WORST mistake EVER. I admit I did not do my homework on what schools were available to him, nor caused a stink with the school district about placement, I took the first recommendation they gave me because I was weak, tired, ashamed, embarassed at all the things he was doing at school. 2 years later here we are, my son has been beat up numerous times, held way to much by the staff, learned words we don’t speak here, just a nightmare. So I made a quick decision .. to pull him from this horrid school and home school him. He will be in a cyber school, so I do not handle the curriculum, I am only here to facilitate, encourage, discipline (with a positive approach) and do it all with love! This is just a temporary placement since I felt it was absolutely necessary to wash this school out of his mind before even looking at a new school. I have a few in mind that taylor to specific aspergers/autistic needs, but now is not the right time to make the transition. He will need some rehabbing, and a gentler kinder way of life first so that he isn’t expecting what he has had for the past 5 years. That is my story, there is so much more in between though. Its great to know I’m not alone, I hope everyone knows they aren’t as well. You have to be very proactive in dealing with your local school districts, go to your states website and learn the laws, seek an advocate if you need one, free or for a fee, if your child is getting arrested, or is violent with staff, or being held, something is NOT right with the placement, something is not right with what THEY are doing and how they are handling the situation. Yes your child has aspergers, there are things to be considered, everyone who works with your child desperately needs to have a very clear understanding of what this diagnosis consists of and what behaviors should be expected and how to appropriately deal with them before they bite, before they kick, before they hit or elope. Stay strong, I know its not easy, I have fell down too many times myself, but you know what? I am picking myself up, yet again, and trying something new. I am married by the way, but my husband is not the best role model, nor does he have the drive that I do in dealing with our son, sometimes I feel like a single parent. He needs to realize why we had children in the first place and understand why we need to pull together and do this together to make it work. OK I could go on and on, but I’m going to stop here. Thanks for listening!

    Comment by Dena Sweeney — November 15, 2009 @ 7:28 pm

11. I am a single parent and fully understand as my son hasn’t been diagnosed yet and I’m fighting every corner that is turned the worse thing I now find is that the bulling is more violent as they are bigger boy’s and my son has excepted that this is normal everyday life and he tells me it’s ok I’m used to it and that breaks my heart

    Comment by Caroline Glazebrook — November 20, 2009 @ 6:34 am

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