Well it’s hard to believe that 2009 is now almost a memory and the holidays are well and truly upon us.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and your family a happy festive season and a prosperous new year.

I would also like to thank all of you who read the blog, contribute comments, support one another and me – you all really help to keep the website and community alive.

With that said this week’s blog post is just coming up (also watch out for December’s newsletter which I aim to complete in the next few days).

Here’s the article …

Question

How do I equip my teenaged son for future intimate relationships?

Answer

The teen years are such a jumble of drama, hormones, new experiences, and did I say drama?  One minute your son is acting like your wonderful baby boy and the next he’s morphing into someone you’ve never met.  Now add Asperger’s Syndrome to the mix.  This combination is enough to send any mother running into the sunset!  Calm down and take a deep breath.  It really will be okay.

Puberty brings about an incredible amount of changes.  If you two haven’t talked about these changes, you should plan a discussion soon.  He’ll need to know about the transformation he is undergoing.  Prepare him with facts and precise information.  Treat the topics as serious, technical discussion; he will appreciate the detail.   Prepare him for the feelings he’ll soon experience so he can respond and react appropriately.

Topics of Importance

•    Personal hygiene-body changes will bring about the need for a new cleanliness routine

•    Emotions-guidance to deal with his feelings about dating and relationships

•    Sex Education-guidelines on what is appropriate behavior, when and where

Tools of Importance

•    School personnel-for help with an educational plan and therapies provided during the school day

•    Medical personnel-to treat any health problems that may be ongoing or new ones that crop up

•    Mental Health personnel-to help deal with all of the changes, to provide therapies in addition to school offerings

•    Family-emotional support that promotes a healthy self-image and assistance in all areas of life

To-Dos of Importance

•    Self-Help resources-encourage him to read books and find support groups that are directed to the individual with Asperger’s for personalized help

•    Resources-find books that you can read and support groups to help prepare yourself to help him make this transition

•    Research-studies, articles, videos, age-appropriate social stories,  and other real examples of assistance for both of you

To get you started, “Adolescence on the Autism Spectrum:  A Parent’s Guide to Cognitive, Social, Physical, and Transition Needs of Teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorders” by Chantal Sicile-Kira is an excellent resource for the conversations you are planning to have with your son.   This guide offers strategies for you, as the parent, to help prepare your teenager for adulthood.

Approach this time in your son’s life as you would any other-another stepping stone to adulthood.  The foundation you build for your son now will help enable him to transition to independence fully equipped to live life as a normal functioning adult with healthy, intimate relationships.

Take Care

Dave Angel

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