Hi there and welcome  to this week’s Aspergers blog.

Thanks so much to those of you who have provided questions in the last 24 hours for me to plan my new Aspergers ebooks around.

If you haven’t sent in a question yet there’s still time at …

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/313.cfm

Here’s this week’s article …

Question

How do I get my husband and in-laws to acknowledge the diagnosis and help care for the child?

Answer

Sometimes Asperger’s Syndrome is hard to see if you do not live with it every day.  And sometimes people are simply in denial.  Either way, the truth must come out.  Acknowledging the presence of Asperger’s Syndrome will lead to the best possible support and treatment available for the child.  Family support is practically necessary.  Yes, you can survive handling everything on your own.  However, life will be much more pleasant for the whole family when everyone is working together to care for the child.

Some people will choose to stand on the outside; you cannot do much about that.  Nevertheless, you can equip them with facts and information so they can make a choice regarding the position they plan to take.  Here are some ideas.

*    Perhaps your family needs to hear the truth from a professional.  Official paperwork containing your child’s diagnosis is available from your physician, neurologist, and/or psychologist.  You can request copies of any Early Intervention assessments, private therapy evaluations, and school system evaluations.  Explain to the family that these people are professionals who see Asperger’s Syndrome every day.  You might also mention that the assessments and evaluations rely on much more than your input, taking the attention off any possibility that you are ‘making this up’.

*    Most of your child’s therapists will offer parent training sessions regularly.  These sessions allow you to ask questions about your child’s programs and his progress, while also educating you on his new goals and coaching you on how to meet these goals.  Invite your family members to attend the parent training.  They can ask questions that will help them understand your child’s Asperger’s.

*    Contact your local Autism support groups.  Without family support, it is dire that you find encouragement elsewhere.  Tell your family about community events or group meetings so they have a chance to be informed and involved.

*    Network with other families living with Asperger‘s.  Listening to the stories of families who are ahead of you in the journey can give you and your family insight into the condition.

*    Find books, videos, and other media sources that you can share with your family members. “Voices From the Spectrum: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, People with Autism, and Professionals Share Their Wisdom” by Cindy N. Ariel and Robert A Naseef is a great example of one such resource.  This is a book of powerful essays written by family members and people on the Autism spectrum about their life experiences.

Find the support you need to help yourself and your child and try not to worry about your family.  Encourage their participation always, but concentrate on your child’s needs, the significant issue at hand.

Have a great week,

Dave Angel

============================================================

Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

============================================================

Making Your Kitchen Gluten & Casein-Free in Seven Easy Steps

As you make your transition to your new gluten and casein-free lifestyle, one of your first jobs will be to make significant changes in your kitchen. Of course, you can predict the importance of having the right ingredients, but let’s take a step back even further than that … To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/311.cfm

============================================================

Aspergers and Depression by Matthew Readman

I just came back from my yearly physical.  The Doctor informed my mom and I, that I was just entering the first part of puberty.  Puberty I yelled but I’m only 10.  I don’t turn 11 until later this year.  The Doctor stated that nowadays kids begin puberty early and this is normal.  I asked the Doctor does this mean I’m going to get weirder. The Doctor laughed and stated …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/310.cfm

============================================================

8 year old with Aspergers tells jokes

This video features an 8 year old boy called Hayden from Hot Springs National Park, Arkansas; who has a diagnosis of Aspergers.He is filmed at home by his dad telling jokes as he wants to be a comedian one day.The video quality is excellent and Hayden’s jokes are good too.He shows some “out takes” at the end, including a joke about “undercoat” that he really had to persevere with to get right.He is interviewed at the end which is really interesting and he shares both his dreams and his frustrations. Running Time 3 Minutes 49 Seconds …

To watch this video go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/309.cfm

============================================================

Hi there I am sure many of you have been reading the latest news (probably with some horror) as to what is happening with Gary McKinnon who stands accused of being a hacker by the US military (although Gary himself maintains he was looking for information on UFO’s)

I will outline more below for those who don’t know much about this case involving a young man with Aspergers from the UK. But the point of this article is to try and add a little more awareness and help Gary if at all possible.

So there are three things that I would ask you to do when you’ve read this article ..

1. Click the blue link at the bottom of this article that says “Bookmark It” and then use one of the little social bookmarking buttons (such as Yahoo, FaceBook etc.) to bookmark this article. This means that the article will be seen by more people who in turn can help to raise awareness.

2. Write a quick message of support for Gary in the comments section on the blog.

3. Go to the website http://freegary.org.uk/ and write a message of support for Gary.

All these three things shouldn’t take more than a minute so please try to help if you can.

Anyway here’s the article …

In 2001 and 2002, Gary Mckinnon made a name for himself by hacking into the U.S. military computer system and wrecking havoc.  The incidents caused the military and NASA computer systems to fail periodically and led to a reported $700,000.00 repair bill.  The timing of these incidents could not have been more perilous since the events of 9/11 revealed the country’s vulnerability in regards to terrorist threats.

For the past four years, Gary’s family and legal team have been fighting to keep him from being extradited from the United Kingdom, where he lives, to the United States.  Gary has openly admitted that he hacked into these computer systems, but without terrorist or malicious intentions.  He was simply searching for information on extraterrestrial life, an intense personal interest.  This is not an attempt to avoid the issue, but a plea for his case to be heard in his home country for medical reasons.

Gary Mckinnon has Asperger’s Syndrome.  Asperger’s Syndrome is an Autism Spectrum Disorder.  People with Asperger’s Syndrome may exhibit the following symptoms or characteristics in any combination and in differing degrees:

*    Inability to pick up on social cues, or lack of social skills:  trouble reading body language, starting and maintaining conversation.

*    Struggles with changes in routines.  Needs routine and order to function.

*    Engages in repetitive movements and behaviors.

*    Appears to lack empathy.  Very blunt and literal, regardless of how he affects others.

*    Uses formal speech.  Often called “professor speech”, naturally uses proper wording over slang.

*    Avoids eye contact and exhibits unusual facial expressions or postures.

*    Has obsessive interests.  It is common to be preoccupied and extremely knowledgeable about one special interest.

*    Struggles with anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, and/or self-isolation.

*    Talks a lot, especially about the obsessive interest. It is common for him to have one-sided conversations or to think aloud.

*    Shows signs of delayed motor development. He may be late in learning to ride a bike or play ball. His walk may appear awkward or clumsy.  Handwriting is often a problem with heavy pressure and uneven spacing.

*    Has issues with the sensory system.  Often becomes overwhelmed by noises, lights, tastes or touch.   Can be hypersensitive or hyposensitive, or a combination within the senses.

Parents of children with Asperger’s Syndrome in the United States and the United Kingdom are cringing as they watch this case unfold.  Having struggled through bouts of isolation and depression, many of these parents can easily see their own children in a similar situation.  Gary’s actions are classic behavior for a person with Asperger’s Syndrome.  His medical needs should be researched and noted as the real reason behind the events of 2001, and the possibilities for increased medical peril due to his condition should be seriously considered during his legal contest.

Thanks for reading and don’t forget to …

1. Click the blue link at the bottom of this article that says “Bookmark It” and then use one of the little social bookmarking buttons (such as Yahoo, FaceBook etc.) to bookmark this article. This means that the article will be seen by more people who in turn can help to raise awareness.

2. Write a quick message for Gary in the comments section on the blog.

3. Go to the website http://freegary.org.uk/ and write a message of support for Gary.

Dave Angel

Hi there and welcome to this week’s Aspergers blog post.

I am working now on the “Back to School” ebook covering a whole variety of questions on the topic of school and education and aim to have this complete by mid-August; when I am led to believe many schools in the USA return. I’ll keep you posted on that …

Here’s this week’s article -

Question

How can I explain Asperger’s to my child and her siblings?

Answer

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome are intelligent and inquisitive individuals.  Their struggles are obvious to them, yet they may not be able to actually pinpoint the areas of weakness.  If asked, kids with Asperger’s will tell you that they are different from their peers and siblings.  The peers and siblings of children with Asperger’s also notice the differences.  It can be difficult to live with and understand a child with Asperger’s.  It can be tough for all involved.

You should be completely honest with your children about Asperger’s.  The child who has Asperger’s needs to understand the condition in age-appropriate context.  Your other children need to know about Asperger’s so that they will be able to support their sibling as much as possible.

Educate yourself on Asperger’s so you can share the details with your children.  Contact your local Autism society chapter and ask for information on the condition and also about the events in your area that they sponsor.  Ask about support group sessions and educational events for siblings.

Speak with the special education teachers at your children’s school about resources that can assist in explaining Asperger’s to your child and his siblings, as well as information that will help you discuss Asperger’s with your family.

You can find a lot of information on the Internet.  The Autism Society and other Autism support organizations have websites chock-full of information and materials for families affected by Asperger’s.  Other websites offer testimonials and products produced by individuals with Asperger’s, families affected by Asperger’s, and professionals trained to treat the challenges associated with Asperger’s.

Books and materials that will help you explain things to all of your children are available on the Internet.  One such program is called “That’s What’s Different About Me! Helping Children Understand Autism Spectrum Disorders” by Heather McCracken.

This program is a puppet program that can be used to teach all children about kids with Asperger’s and what it is that makes them different.  The DVD included showcases the puppet show, along with parent/teacher information and helpful tips. A program manual with instructions on implementing the program at home or at school is included.  A children’s story and coloring book adapted from the puppet show rounds out the kit.

Your children will be more comfortable when they know exactly what having Asperger’s means.  They will see that while there are challenges to overcome, there are also strengths associated with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Have a great day,

Dave Angel

============================================================

Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

============================================================

I have a question regarding Neurotherapy for Asperger’s kids.  It is helpful?  What is its success rate?

Upon learning that a child has Asperger’s Syndrome, most parents will begin to research treatments. There are several places you can get information about treatments. However, getting involved with other people affected by this diagnosis is the best way to find out about the different options you have for treatment and learning about what works and why. You do have to remember that kids with the Asperger’s are all …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/292.cfm

============================================================

My daughter is 17 years old.  She wants to drive but I worry that she will go into ‘Asperger’s mode’ and zone out while driving.  When we talk about driving I explain to her that she needs to be paying attention at all times.  Her response is “I don’t know if I can do that.”  Any suggestions?

One of the first, most obvious life transitions for a teen is reaching the legal driving age. That driver’s license screams adulthood and independence. Every teen dreams of the day they can jump into a car and drive away, alone and unsupervised. Yikes! Teens with Asperger’s are no different from their peers when it comes to meeting these life transitions. With a little extra preparation, your teen can …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/291.cfm

============================================================

My 10 year old son with Asperger’s has suddenly started sitting upside down on his chair and swinging his legs in the air during class.  He also rolls around on the floor during ‘mat time’ at school.  Nothing else has changed.  He is in a mainstream school and his teacher is at a loss.  Any ideas?

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome deal with several different issues. Some of these actually make life better, and others can cause problems in certain situations. Children with Asperger’s have normal to above-normal …

To read this article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/290.cfm

============================================================

Hi there and welcome to this Tuesday’s Aspergers blog post.

Just another quick reminder that the special offer for getting your free copy of “Surviving the Summer Holidays” ebook runs out in less than 24 hours.

So if you are interested in taking advantage of this offer please go to …
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/267.cfm NOW!

Anyway here’s this week’s article:

Question

How do I help my 12 year old son to come to terms with his diagnosis and help him to understand that it is not the end of the world?

Answer

So many times in life, we focus on the negative.  It’s raining, getting up early, taking a test, and spilling a glass of milk are things that happen all the time.  None of these are true negatives, but our perspective makes them worse than reality.  You can turn each of these examples into a positive with a shift of thinking:  thick green grass, seeing the sun rise, showing off skills, and a floor that needed a good mopping anyway are all positive outcomes to the same situations.

Asperger’s Syndrome is definitely not the worst thing in the world.  There are many positive qualities to be found in a child with Asperger’s.  They’re smart, so knowledgeable, and have an amazing memory.   Children with Asperger’s have an intense sense of right and wrong and desire to follow the rules.  In the same sense, they are extremely honest.  And although they may have problems focusing on things like reading, spelling, or chores, they have an incredible ability to focus on a subject of interest until they know all there is to know about that subject.

Sit down with your son and make a list of his positive qualities.  I’ve probably listed several here to get you started.   Keep in mind that he may attempt to phrase something as a negative.  Help him see the positive in as many qualities as possible.  His list may look like this:

* Very intelligent
* Remembers everyone’s birthday and phone number
* Can talk about fun things that happened when he was 3 years old
* Almost never breaks the rules
* Almost always tells the truth
* Knows everything there is to know about ___________________(special interest)
* Tries to make sure everyone else follows the rules
Talk to your son about any weaknesses he specifically brings up.  Remind him that none of us are perfect.  We all have weaknesses, but we also have the ability to seek help to control those weaknesses.  Explain to him that the extra help and therapies he receives at school are to help him gain more control over his weaknesses.

Share a few printed resources with your son.  He is old enough to read books and magazines written by and for kids his age.  “Jay Grows an Alien” by Caroline Levine is a good example.  This novel is written for the child with Asperger’s, as well as his peers and shows kids that all of us have differences and are unique and special in our own way.

Finally, let your son know that he is the person he was intended to be and that he is loved just the way he is.  He has Asperger’s Syndrome, but he is not Asperger’s Syndrome.  He is an intelligent, unique, and special twelve year old boy.

Have a great week,

Dave Angel

============================================================

Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

============================================================
Why is my son’s world always so “black and white?” He is ALWAYS RIGHT!

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome have a particular way of viewing the world. Children with Asperger’s typically have a lack of understanding of the different levels of social interaction. They lack social imagination, and they tend to have some sort of difficulty with communication. These three traits lead to …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/280.cfm

============================================================

My Brain by Matthew Readman

Many people, who do not understand me, always ask how my brain works.  When I was 6, I had an assessment done because I acted differently.  The psychologist used all these terms to describe me, but eventually she came out with, I had Aspergers Syndrome.  She told my parents that I was very bright but when it came to social, my score was below average.  I rock while sitting, I see things black and white, and I am a visual person. How do I see my brain?  I have …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/279.cfm

============================================================

Living with Aspergers

This is an excellent video set in the UK at City College in Norwich. It features students with Aspergers as well as their lecturers and learning support assistants. Several students give their experiences of college. This is followed by a lecturer and learning support assistant giving feedback on their students. The main feature of the video is the “rug room” which is an amazing space to help students to cope better with college and was designed by a young person with Aspergers. It features PlayStations, computers, color changing booths (which you can set to match mood), seating arrangements to facilitate social interaction and much more. At the end several students elaborated on the question “What do you find difficult at college” which was very enlightening. This is a high quality video with some great insight into what all colleges/schools should be aiming for with pupils who have Aspergers. Running Time 5 Minutes 17 Seconds . . .

To watch this video go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/278.cfm

============================================================

Hello and welcome to this week’s Aspergers blog article …

Question

How do I help my 12 year old son to come to terms with his diagnosis and help him understand that it is not the end of the world?

Answer

Asperger’s Syndrome is a form of autism;  those who have it experience various symptoms, exhibiting a range of behaviors.  People with Aspergers have a different way of thinking, concentrating on special interests.  Many people with Aspergers can speak eloquently and have extraordinary abilities in engineering, computer science, and systematic thinking, yet have serious difficulties with social interaction and functioning in the world.  However, Asperger’s is not the end of world; it is treatable.   It is very normal for your son (and you) to react with sadness, self pity, anger, or depression when you receive the diagnosis.  You are mourning the life you thought you were going to have.  But that does not mean that you won’t have a good life; it will just be different. 

If your son is willing, discuss with him his diagnosis and your plans to help him.  Reassure him that he will do fine.  If he cannot get over his sadness and anger, get him into counselling.  Once properly diagnosed, reassured, and treated, he will feel much happier and more optimistic.  

Start now to educate yourself and your son.  There are tons of books available for adults, children, and teens that explain Asperger’s and provide information and help. Read a book and discuss it together.  Then, get online and start researching Asperger’s symptoms and treatments.  There is a wealth of information on this site!

Become involved in the forum on this site. Also  find a support group in your area.  Other parents will provide moral support and comfort.  Your son may enjoy talking with other children with Aspergers online.  Be sure to monitor the sites he visits to make sure they are appropriate for him.

I want your son to know that having Asperger’s is not the end of the world.  It creates difficulties in the social sphere, yes.  But special interests can lead to career skills, and, in some cases, to career success.  Good social skills can be learned over time.  With reinforcement and guidance from loving people; progress is possible.  With knowledge and support from parents, teachers, mentors, medical professionals, and peers, the inner strengths of these special people shine, adding uniqueness to our world.  

That’s all for now

Dave Angel

============================================================

Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

============================================================

How do you teach social behavior in a humorous manner?

This is a wonderful goal, but I do have some cautions for you. Some children with Asperger’s have difficulty understanding humour/teasing, so you have to be careful how you do this. You don’t want a child to feel …To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/244.cfm
============================================================

How do I understand the difference between an Asperger’s related behaviour and a true ADHD one? My son’s school can’t tell the difference, and my son’s doctors tell us that he doesn’t have ADHD; his poor attention is just his Asperger’s and medication will not help!

Hmmm…this is a difficult question because ADHD is often diagnosed before a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome is made later in a person’s life. It’s not just parents and school personnel who have difficulty telling the two apart, so do doctors! My first suggestion is …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/245.cfm
============================================================

Where can I get easy-to-understand explanations about medications?

There are a number of excellent sites for this information. Log on to …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/login.cfm?hpage=242.cfm
============================================================

Welcome to this week’s Aspergers blog post.

Just a quick reminder that I recently extended the current introductory offer at The Parenting Aspergers Community and it now has just 24 hours to run.

So if you want to find out more or join now please head over to:

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/10.cfm

OK let’s get into this week’s article …

Question

Is it common for a child with Asperger’s to have a split personality?  My son is a really good kid at school, but then a complete monster at home. Is this normal?

Answer

Asperger’s Syndrome is known to manifest itself differently with different children.  Also, children with Asperger’s Syndrome may react differently to various situations depending on their individual personalities.  Your child may feel more comfortable with the familiar surroundings at home, and feel freer to act out more at home than in public, where he is surrounded by strangers and in a less familiar environment. The stress of school may be relieved by a “meltdown” or other difficult behaviour at home.  This is a common occurrence.

Dr. Tony Attwood, a clinical psychologist, is a world renowned expert on Asperger’s Syndrome.  Here is what he says about split personality and Asperger’s.  “Quite a few children with Asperger’s Syndrome are Dr. Jeckylls and Mr. Hydes.  They are saints at school, but they soak up the anguish, then squeeze it out on their brothers and sisters when they get home.  We do not know why this happens…”  This quote may be found at:  http://www.awares.org/pkgs_files/librarydoc_134.doc .

Asperger’s is treated in two ways, and both of them help manage the anxiety that accompanies this illness.  The first is cognitive psychology, and the second is prescription medication.  The first thing you need to do in order to help your son is to find a psychiatrist or psychologist who specializes in Asperger’s Syndrome.  This specialist will be able to help your son.  He or she will help you and your son discover the reasons behind his behavioral changes. 

In addition, a specialist will help you do two things:

1. Modify the situation or the environment in which he lives to reduce difficult behaviour;

2. Create interventions for handling your son’s anxiety.

Please don’t be intimidated.  Changes don’t have to be complex or unmanageable.  The changes you need to make might just involve changing lighting to a lower level, adjusting sound levels in your home, or creating a new schedule.

If initial interventions do not help, a psychiatrist can prescribe medications which will provide your son with the help he needs.  It’s important to note that psychotropic (mood-altering) drugs like Zoloft or Prozac can help children, but they can also cause serious problems for children.  If the psychiatrist prescribes medication, ask about dosage levels and, more importantly, side effects.  Just about all drugs have side effects, and it’s important for you to know about them so you know what to expect.  You know your son better than anyone else; ask yourself if he can handle side effects like nausea, hypersensitivity, or prolonged sleepiness.  These are all possible, depending on the medication prescribed.

You can obtain additional information about this subject in the book  A Parent’s Guide to Asperger Syndrome and High-Functioning Autism: How to Meet the Challenges and Help Your Child Thrive by Sally Ozonoff, Geraldine Dawson, and James McPartla. 

This book was written to help parents of children with Asperger’s Syndrome or High-Functioning Autism (AS/HFA).  The book contains common terms and strategies for by AS/HFA.  You can use this book as a reference during your child’s developmental years.  The book advocates capitalizing on your son’s strengths and the challenges he will face on a daily basis.  One of the highlights of this book is that it will help you to distinguish between your son’s adolescent issues and the effects of autism/Asperger’s.

That’s it for this article and don’t forget if you want to get in on the current special offer at Parenting Aspergers Community head over now to …

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/10.cfm

Take care

Dave Angel

Welcome to this week’s Aspergers blog post.

To be honest it’s been a hectic 7 days since the launch of www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com – but I’m so glad that I’ve created the new site …

Already I am getting tons of great feedback from people that it is really helping, and I am able to interact with members much more easily than before.

If you are still interested in becoming a member then don’t forget that for the next 5 days you can take advantage of a special offer to join the site at: http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/10.cfm

I am also working on bringing in several expert guests to the new site to add an even greater variety of specialist information to the site … so watch out for that.

But that’s all on the new site for now and here’s this week’s article:

Question

Are there any connections between ADHD children and those with Asperger’s Syndrome?  My child is diagnosed with ADHD, but he seems to cross over a bit with weak social skills and emotional behaviour.  How do you determine what is ADHD and what is Asperger’s?

Answer

The symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Asperger’s Syndrome do mimic one another, and there are some connections between ADHD and Asperger’s.  In fact, there are dual diagnoses of ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome in many cases.  Both of these diagnoses are developmental disorders; they share many of the same behavioural features and both affect children in the areas of behaviour, communication, and social interaction.  As a result, there is often some confusion as to which disorder(s) is present.  Medical, mental health, and educational professionals need to be trained to differentiate between the disorders and diagnose the correct one.

Here is a list of the behaviours seen in Autism/Asperger’s Syndrome and Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder:

Autism / Asperger’s Syndrome

Difficulty interacting with peers

Fearlessness; feelings of invincibility

Temper tantrums without provocation

Inappropriate laughter

Resistant to intimacy

Physical over-activity or lack of physical activity

Minimal eye contact

Impulsive work effort that results in mistakes

Inconsistent fine motor skills

Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Disruptive with others; cannot talk or play quietly

Impatient; does not want to wait

Risk taker; willingly becomes involved in potentially dangerous activities

Exhibits severe temper tantrums

Interrupts others; talks and/or acts inappropriately

Resistant to intimacy during younger years

Constantly active

Inattentive; has difficulty listening or conversing

Avoids attending to details; makes mistakes in work activities.

Both ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome

Problems with gross/fine motor skills

Behavior driven by impulses

Difficulty with appropriate emotional responses.

An ideal reference book for you is The ADHD Autism Connection, A Step Toward More Accurate Diagnosis and Effective Treatment, written by Diane M. Kennedy.  Go to the internet and access this book by clicking the following link – ADHD

Ms. Kennedy’s book answers questions that you and many other parents with Asperger’s children have asked.  In addition, this book contains information on children with Autism, Pervasive Developmental Disorders, and similar conditions.

This book recognizes that Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is now one of the most rapidly growing diagnoses.  Ms. Kennedy states that many people have not found the help that they need for their children, and parents are not aware of what to do as a result.  This book provides knowledge of the similarities and differences between Autism and ADHD.

This book also addresses the fact that a diagnosis of Autism carries a negative connotation.  In light of this diagnosis, parents are afraid to admit that their child is Autistic, and they do not create an atmosphere of open communication.  Ms. Kennedy’s book portrays the connection between Autism and ADHD in a manner that gives parents the courage to candidly discuss these diagnoses with a sense of understanding and optimism.

Knowledge of the diagnostic differences, along with the information provided in The ADHD Autism Connection, A Step Toward More Accurate Diagnosis and Effective Treatment, will help you differentiate between symptoms of ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome.

That’s all for this week … and don’t forget to head over to http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/10.cfm if you want to take advantage of the current special offer to join The Parenting Aspergers Community (only 5 days left …)

Have a great day,

Dave Angel

Hi there it’s time for your weekly Aspergers article as ever on a Tuesday. This week has been a blur as I’ve been working hard on the completion of the new site www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com

If you haven’t yet signed up to find out exactly when the site will be launched and also gain access to some freebie articles from the site (there’s one coming out later today for all those on the list) and updates … then you’ve still got time just go over to www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com today.

Also another quick reminder … if you wanted to read “The History of Parenting Aspergers” report it’s still available for free download at http://www.parentingaspergers.com/history.html

OK with those reminders out of the way let’s go straight into this week’s article …

Question

Brain blindness: how to break through rigid thinking that prevents them from making a connection between their behavior and negative consequences?  Once my Aspie children get an idea, no amount of evidence to the contrary will shift them.

Answer

One big challenge for those with high-functioning Asperger’s syndrome, is mindblindness (sometimes called brain blindness).  Mindblindness refers to the inability of people with Asperger’s to understand and empathize with the needs, beliefs, and intentions that drive other people’s behavior, and their own. Without this ability, Aspies cannot make sense of the world.  The world is constantly confusing them, and they go through life making mistakes because nothing makes sense (mindblindness).  Aspies cannot connect their own needs, beliefs, and intentions to experiences and positive or negative consequences, at least not on their own.  Many Aspies are unaware that they even have this problem, even if they know they have Asperger’s!

Yet, Aspies can learn to compensate for mindblindness with a lifetime of constant “counselling” by good teachers, parents, counsellors, and therapists.  Some adult Aspies can read books and learn, but AS children need others to help them. With good help, Aspies can grow up to lead nearly normal lives.  A good book for parents, teachers, and older Aspies to read is: Mindblindness by Simon Baron-Cohen.

Parents must understand that their Aspie children must be taught to use logic to make sense of the world and the people in it, one personal situation at a time.
Here are some “rules” written by a gentleman with Asperger’s that may help parents assist their Aspie children.  He named them “Rules to Make Sense” and recommends that Aspie children be taught them.
“1) Every human behaviour has a reason behind it, even if I don’t see it.
2) I will not give up my unrelenting, autistic singlemindedness until I find the reason for a behaviour, or until I am satisfied that I do not have enough information to find it.
3) When I find the reason, all the pieces will fall into place, and not a single one will be left that doesn’t fit.
4) After I find it, I will dig further to try to disprove it.
5) If I find a single piece that doesn’t fit, then I still have a problem. Go back to step two with the problem.
6) I will force myself to accept what I have in front of me as the truth, even if I find it hard to believe.”

Here are a few more facts that Aspies must learn.
1)  Most people usually talk about the things they want, and openly say what they believe.  Women talk more than men and focus on feelings more.
2)  When somebody’s behavior flies in the face of logic, concentrate on his or her feelings.
3) Some people are so messed up that it is just not possible to figure them out.  Know when to give up.

A parents’ strategy should be to get their Aspie sons or daughters obsessed with the need to make sense of the world and help them understand that the mysteries of human behavior disappear when one understands the appropriate states of mind behind them.  Also, to help them realize that once the state of mind is understood, people’s future behavior can be anticipated.  But, how does a parent do that when the Aspie isn’t motivated to do so because they don’t realize there’s a need?

A parent must:
1)  Teach the Aspie to make sense of the world by himself (eventually).
2)  Constantly explain people’s states of mind to him and what they mean until he learns to figure them out on his own.
This means explaining the wants, needs, and beliefs that drive human behavior and the reasons behind all the unwritten rules that are part of human relationships.

Give the Aspie books to read.  Explain his challenges and that he is in a state of confusion without being aware of it.  Explain how each person feels about the world and about his own life.  Explain that every person has a different set of values and that their behavior is driven by these values.  Explain also your own state of mind and emotions constantly.  Explain why you explain things to him.  Explain that he should ask you questions about things he doesn’t understand.  Do these things over and over and over.

Explain his own needs to him.  It is only when he understands what he wants himself that he will have a basis for understanding that others also have wants, and that peoples’ wants are what makes them behave the way they do.  If you explain something over and over, and he never ‘gets it’, the reason could be that there is more basic knowledge that he doesn’t have in order to understand.

Protect your Aspie children from the cruelty of strangers.  Some people are not going to pass up the opportunity to treat them badly. You should explain that this is going to happen, and that they should not feel ashamed to go to you for support.  They are going to meet people that will try to convince them they are worthless.  You must convince them that they can and will make a success of life, as many Asperger’s people have.  You must explain the states of mind of these people and why they do what they do – over and over.

Explain before punishing.  If you punish a child for doing A, all that he is going to learn is that if he does A again, he is going to be punished again.  He will not understand why he should not do A in the first place.

It is this constant explaining and counselling by parents, teachers, and therapists over years and years of living, repeated over and over again, that eventually will help the Aspie break through the bonds of mindblindness and learn to handle life successfully, on his own.  Don’t give up; keep trying and get others to help you.

I hope this article has been helpful and don’t forget to check out www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com if you haven’t already.

Take Care and have a great week

Dave Angel

Hi there here’s this week’s article coming up. But just before that … Good News! The new Aspergers website is definitely going to be all ready to go in March. Look out for another email from me in the next 48 hours telling you exactly how you can become one of the first people on this site when it launches …

But without further ado here’s this weeks article …

Question

My son is 7 years old and was diagnosed with PDD-NOS/Asperger’s Syndrome 12 months ago.  He is high functioning.  I want to know when is the right time to tell him that he has been diagnosed with this, and what exactly do I say?  My husband does not want to disclose it to him just yet, as he is “happy in his oblivion.”  I watched a documentary on the SPA school in the UK (We live in Australia) and every one of those children are aware of their diagnosis.  Am I wrong to withhold this from my son?

Answer

There are two common arguments regarding your question: yours and your spouse’s!  Should a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome be withheld or disclosed?  If it is withheld, when should the Aspie be told about the diagnosis?  An argument can be made for either option.  On one hand, if the diagnosis is withheld, the Aspie might be confused and worried by peer bullying, difficulty in social situations, and a feeling of being different, but not knowing why.  Also, the Aspie may not get the help and treatment he or she needs.  This can lead to a poor self-image.  On the other hand, sharing the diagnosis may label the Aspie as “defective” or “disabled,” which can cause depression and despair, destroying the happiness he had in his oblivion.  What should a parent do?

First of all, Asperger’s Syndrome is nothing to be ashamed of, any more than one would be ashamed of being deaf or dyslexic.  It is not a character defect, but it is a neurobiological difference.  Aspies perceive the world differently than other people do.  All children perceive their differences from others very early in life (certainly before age 7) and, even if they don’t, someone else will point them out!  So, Aspies have a right to know that their differences have a name and that they may have personality traits with which they were born that are somewhat different from others’.  It is best that your son learn this from you, not from someone else.

By telling your son about his diagnosis, you are sending a clear message that there is nothing to be ashamed of.  You are going to convince him that being a little different can be a gift, albeit a challenging one at times.  At your son’s age, you may not have to use the term “Asperger’s Syndrome.”  You might discuss it in a way that he can relate to and accept at age 7.  Being honest about your son’s different way of thinking and connecting it to Asperger’s will help your son accept himself as he is before he goes through the difficulties of puberty and adolescence.  It also gives you and others time to work with him to develop his social skills before the teen years.

At some point, you should be specific about his diagnosis, using the term “Asperger’s Syndrome” and explaining it in more detail.  As far as when to tell……tell when the diagnosis is made, but gear it to the child’s age.

That’s all for today and don’t forget to look out for that email from me over the next 48 hours about the new website.

Take Care

Dave Angel

Hi there I’ve had a busy Tuesday so far looking for a nursery for my 18 month old daughter (Honey). The first one I saw had a kitchen knife lying on the side (at toddler’s height!), some old takeaway food on plates and a filthy carpet … not exactly what I’m hoping for! The next one seemed way too happy to let me in the building without really checking my credentials – another red flag I’m afraid! So the search continues as I am less than impressed with what I’ve seen so far. Like all parents I know I’ll have to compromise some of my very high standards that I expect – but I still want something pretty good none the less. Anyway let me move swiftly on to this week’s Aspergers blog post which looks at ADHD and Aspergers:

Question

Are there any connections between ADHD children and those with Asperger’s Syndrome?  My child is diagnosed with ADHD, but he seems to cross over a bit with weak social skills and emotional behaviour.  How do you determine what is ADHD and what is Asperger’s?

Answer

The symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Asperger’s Syndrome do mimic one another, and there are some connections between ADHD and Asperger’s.  In fact, there are dual diagnoses of ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome in many cases.  Both of these diagnoses are developmental disorders; they share many of the same behavioural features and both affect children in the areas of behaviour, communication, and social interaction.  As a result, there is often some confusion as to which disorder(s) is present.  Medical, mental health, and educational professionals need to be trained to differentiate between the disorders and diagnose the correct one.

Here is a list of the behaviors seen in Autism/Asperger’s Syndrome and Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder:

Autism / Asperger’s Syndrome

Difficulty interacting with peers
Fearlessness; feelings of invincibility
Temper tantrums without provocation
Inappropriate laughter
Resistant to intimacy
Physical over-activity or lack of physical activity
Minimal eye contact
Impulsive work effort that results in mistakes
Inconsistent fine motor skills

Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Disruptive with others; cannot talk or play quietly
Impatient; does not want to wait
Risk taker; willingly becomes involved in potentially dangerous activities
Exhibits severe temper tantrums
Interrupts others; talks and/or acts inappropriately
Resistant to intimacy during younger years
Constantly active
Inattentive; has difficulty listening or conversing
Avoids attending to details; makes mistakes in work activities.

Both ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome

Problems with gross/fine motor skills
Behaviour driven by impulses
Difficulty with appropriate emotional responses.

As you may already know I’ve written a resource guide for parents of child with ADHD which is still available at www.parentingadhd.com So this knowledge of the diagnostic differences, along with the information provided in The Parenting ADHD Resource Guide, will help you differentiate between symptoms of ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome.

That’s all for the week and have a great day,

Dave Angel

PS – Just to let you know that the new Aspergers website is progressing along well and I’ve been putting together loads more information on topics such as college aged children, the effectiveness of therapies, helping your child to choose the “right” type of friends and how to support your child to cope with varied social situations. Keep watching this space for more details…!