Hi there -

Just a quick update if you didn’t get chance to read my email from yesterday yet …

The Parenting Aspergers website has been relaunched with a whole new look and new information on it; to see what’s new and find out how you can get a copy of my best-selling Aspergers ebook on a 56 free trial you should go to -

http://www.parentingaspergers.com/relaunch.html

To celebrate this relaunch I have posted a sample of one of the many topics and questions that are covered in the ebook for today’s article.

Here it is …

Question

My son is 10 years old and awaiting an Aspergers diagnosis.  He frequently misinterprets the actions of others and becomes quite angry.  He loses his temper frequently.  How can we help him?

Answer

Your son is experiencing a great deal of stress due to his likely Asperger’s.

Some people react by becoming depressed, some become anxious, and others become angry and experience rage against the frustrating events that occur in their day.

Some individuals externalize their feelings and blame others, while some internalize their feelings and have a difficult time controlling their anger.

Their may be no particular event to his anger – just an aggressive mood or reaction to a frustrating experience.

Encourage self-control and teach your child to consider alternative behaviors.

Self-control can be strengthened by teaching your child to stop and count to ten, taking a deep breath and reminding themselves to keep calm.

Or for some children it is helpful that they have an agreed room or particular space that they take themselves too when they feel that they are getting anxious/angry.

Specific relaxation techniques can be practiced and your child can be taught the cues when they must calm down and relax.  Explain the alternative to your child and in specific terms.

There are three stages to help your child when he/she is losing his temper:

1.) Make a list of signals – Construct a list of the signals that indicate the person is becoming increasingly stressed (e.g. rocking, reddened face, pacing, shouting etc.).

2.) Draw attention to the signals – Once these sign are recognized, the person’s attention must be drawn to their actions and behavior.  The angry individual is usually the last to recognize the change in their behavior.

3.) Find calming alternatives – Then construct a list of activities which will calm them and encourage them to participate in those behaviors.

Keep in mind that your son will most likely have difficulty expressing what is making him angry.

You will need to assess the situation to determine what may be provoking him.

Another alternative is to keep him engaged in activities that burn off energy and reduce his need to express the anger that he is feeling.

Thanks and have a great day,

Dave Angel

PS Don’t forget to check out

http://www.parentingaspergers.com/relaunch.html

for all the lastest developments now!

Hi there and here’s this week’s Aspergers article – and I’m having the night off from writing;  thanks to a talented teenager with Aspergers!

I have posted a great little interview that Matthew Readman carried out on his own parents about Aspergers.

For those of you who don’t know Matthew – he is an exceptional teenager with Aspergers from Canada.

He has written several articles for the blog and is a regular contributor to http://www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com

Here’s Matthew’s interview which makes fascinating reading …

The Interview

After reading questions and answers to Mr. Angel, I was so sad to hear all the problems parents are having.  I know I’m only 10 but I decided to interview my parents what they thought about my aspergers and how they helped me so that I could share with you.

When did you first think I was different?

We noticed when you were about 3 years old, when you decided to stop eating.

What did you do?

Well we went to the pediatrician who told us this was normal, and not to force you to eat, that you would eat when you decided to.  Well that was a mistake still to this day you won’t touch a lot of foods.

What did you think when the psychologist told you I had aspergers?

We were torn.  We were happy in away that we finally found out why you were acting differently, but sad thinking how can we help you

I don’t understand?

Every parent’s first impulse is thinking what did I do wrong.  When we found out it was aspergers, and it was not our fault, this made us feel a little better.  But now knowing that you have Aspergers Syndrome it made us feel helpless thinking how can we help you.  Matthew, every parent wants to help his or her child live a happy life.

Is there anything you think helped me get this far?

Yes.  I made sure ever since you started school I asked you four simple questions.  Tell me something good, something bad, something happy something sad.  This made you talk about your day and we could elaborate on a specific topic, which was most important to you.  Now everyday we talk about all different topics.

Yes we still do it today,  but I call it debriefing now.

How did you get me to try new things?

The one that best works for you is reward and consequence.  Do you remember when you would not ride your bike for the whole summer?

Yes

Well it was not until I purchased a computer game and told you, that you could not play it until you rode your bike.  You learned to ride a bike in 2 hours.

Is there anything else you think that helps me?

Matthew its all trial and error.  There have been times a strategy may work but the next day fails completely.  We find its one step forward and 2 steps back.  I get told a lot of the time that I’m a pessimist.

What does that mean?

It means I look for the worst things in life.  I do this to try to look ahead on what problems could arise for you.  Everything I try to teach you now is not to learn for today but 2 years from now.  I have always tried to teach you some problem solving of situations that may arise as you get older.  Hopefully with constant repetition when this time comes, it would have sunk in and you would be ready.

Are you tired of having a son with aspergers?

If you mean tired as exhausted, there are times, but I get the same exhaustion from telling your brother to pick up his clothes.  Matt I’m a mom.  I’m tired all the time.  It goes with the territory.  If you mean am I tired of you… NEVER.  I wanted two boys and I was blessed with two wonderful boys, so to that answer no!!!!     You are a wonderful son with so many gifts to offer and I love you and will always love you.

I hope that this may help parents.  As my mom and dad said, “ it all trial and error” and if these worked for me maybe they may be able to help your kids with aspergers.

Please feel free to add any comments to this blog post as I know that Matthew enjoys the feedback he gets.

Thanks for the great article Matthew.

Dave Angel

PS – You can read more of Matthew’s insightful and helpful articles by becoming a member of http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com

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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

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How should I help my son with Aspergers who I suspect is being bullied at school, but school officials are not saying too much about it?

As a child with Asperger’s Syndrome, your son is very susceptible to bullying by others. Being just a little different can be devastating in the school setting. Your son is an intelligent person, but those struggles with sensory issues and social skills make him stand out. The other kids do not understand what this means, so they take advantage. Fortunately, most school systems have strong anti-bullying policies. Unfortunately …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/357.cfm

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Daydreaming and Autism

Empty daydreaming sounds a little redundant, but a few years ago, researchers digging for an answer to the rapidly increasing Autism diagnoses said just that. This study was performed by researchers at the Center for Autism Research at the Children’s Hospital Research Center in La Jolla, California. You can read the details in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Included in the study were fifteen people with a diagnosis on the Autism spectrum and fourteen neurotypical individuals. Utilizing functional MRI scans, researchers were able to examine the brain activity of all twenty-nine participants while in a resting state. The results showed that areas of the brain that are usually active during daydreaming were not active in the group representing Autism. This resting brain activity is necessary for …

To read this article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/358.cfm

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Gluten Free Pop Tarts

How to make delicious gluten-free Pop tarts …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/359.cfm

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Hi there here’s this week’s blog article from a very wet and rainy Hampshire here in the UK!

Question

My son with Aspergers tends to be tactless, very literal and overly honest and idealistic-is there any way that I can help him to be able to get a long a little better socially?

Answer

Socialization is a necessary component of life.  Social communication is how we interact with the people around us.  If a child struggles with socialization and communication, he will have problems getting along with his peers.

Asperger’s Syndrome manifests differently in each individual, although all children with Asperger’s have some form of social and communication deficit. There are ways to help turn your concerns into non-issues.  You can help your son achieve a more balanced social life.  You can start working on this at home where he is most comfortable.

Social stories are stories written about different real-life situations that follow the desired steps to correct problems in social behaviors.  You can find books filled with social stories on the Internet or at your local library.  You could even write you own, tailoring the stories to fit your son’s specific trouble spots.   If you decide to use social stories, you should also pursue other options.  A multiple-therapy approach is your best bet for a good outcome.

If your son has a program in place that includes occupational therapy, ask for a consultation with his therapist to add specific social communication goals.  When you think of occupational therapy, you tend to think of something other than these types of problems.  In reality, these therapists are very good at helping Asperger’s children learn to use correct social skills, as well as most other living skills.  Most therapists will offer parent training sessions, as they are usually happy to know that the parent is interested enough to invest the time in their child.

Finally, check with your local Asperger’s support group or your child’s school system for available social skills groups.  These groups are usually led by a psychologist or a therapist and provide opportunities for the Asperger’s child to practice social skills in a controlled environment.  You can then follow through with extra practice at home.

There are books available that will help you work on social and communication skills completely at home.  One such book is “Social Skills Training for Children and Adolescents with Asperger Syndrome and Social-Communication Problems” by Jed E. Baker”.

This book is an entire social skills curriculum complete with reproducible handouts and activity sheets.  It covers all of the skills that cause most of the problems for children with Asperger’s and is a complete training package for Asperger’s kids of all ages.  This program is very user-friendly and very detailed.  You are sure to find specific examples of and solutions for the issues you see in your child.

All of these suggestions can be applied at home with a little training.  You can help your son develop better social skills, enhancing his perspective and insuring a bright future.

That’s all for this week thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

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What kind of party games would you suggest for my son who has Aspergers and is 12? He’s having a few people from school and some family over maybe 10 people.

Birthday parties can be uncomfortable for children with Asperger’s Syndrome. People, noise, sights, and sounds can be overwhelming. However, your son is at a great age for a party. He has seen a few birthdays, so he has a sense for what a party entails. With a bit of preparation you can plan a party that he and his friends will enjoy …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/334.cfm

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Can you tell me about positive examples of Asperger’s seen in movies and on TV?

Not many movie and television roles are acknowledged as being Aspergers or Autism spectrum characters. However, it is becoming more common to see Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome highlighted in television fiction. People are starting to speculate about some of their favorite characters. Sheldon on “The Big Bang Theory” is one such character. The television show, “Boston Legal” features a lawyer named Jerry …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/333.cfm

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Is it best for my child with Aspergers to try to make friends with other children with Aspergers or children who don’t have it?

Friendships are very important for healthy children. Children with Asperger’s have difficulties in the area of social development, so you should be especially diligent in encouraging your child to make friends with other children. Your child with Asperger’s will benefit from befriending both neurotypical children and children with Asperger’s Syndrome …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/332.cfm

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PARENTING AUTISM & ASPERGER’S NEWSLETTER
VOLUME 27      
October 2009        

Welcome to the twenty-seventh edition  
of “The Parenting Autism & Asperger’s Newsletter”
Inside this edition you will find:

1. Hot Topic of Discussion – Bullying and Asperger’s Syndrome

2. In the News – IPODs May Help Teens Learn Social Skills

3. Prominent People Linked with ASD – Tim Page, Pulitzer Prize-winning music critic

Thanks

Dave
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1. Hot Topic of Discussion – Bullying and Asperger’s Syndrome
Because of events that have transpired in the past regarding school bullying, there have been numerous recommendations to change school policies in order to protect students against bullying. Students who engage in violent behaviors such as bullying or disability harassment will be suspended or expelled. The Rehabilitation Act of 1973 Section 504 states that disability harassment in public school districts and colleges is a violation of the law. Students with disabilities who experience such harassments and bullying have the right to complain at the Office of Civil Rights and receive due process.

Although laws have been in place to protect students with disabilities against harassment and bullying, the National Education Association states that incidence of bullying occurs “every seven minutes of every school day”. Additionally, students and teachers most of the time fail to intervene in school bullying. This reveals that anti-bullying school policies do not offer much help to the victims of bullying.

Many victims of school bullying tend to be children who are in special education. An expert even puts a 100% rate of bullying on children with Asperger’s Syndrome. This is because a child with Asperger’s Syndrome is likely to be seen as a loner type with poor social skills. Children with Asperger’s Syndrome who appears to be under stress, are physically weak and who starts to miss school are likely to be victims of school bullying.

To read the full article, go to:  http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/bullying.html 

People mentioned as having Asperger’s Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with it.

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2.  In the News – IPODs May Help Teens Learn Social Skills

People with Asperger’s Syndrome tend to struggle when it comes to their social skills. Sue Pederson, a psychologist, and researchers from the Fraser Child and Family Center claimed to have figured out a way to improve the social skills of teens with Asperger’s Syndrome. According to Pederson, IPODs (a device that plays music, videos and movies) can help these teens develop their social skills.

The IPODs can hold audios, videos and picture slideshows about information that could teach people with Asperger’s Syndrome how to behave in a variety of situations. Aside from using the IPOD, researchers have looked into using other devices such as the smart phones and palm pilots. According to Jim Ball from the Autism Society of America, these devices can be helpful especially to people with Asperger’s as they feel more comfortable when dealing with technology rather than with people.  

To read the full article, go to: http://www.omaha.com/article/20090926/LIVING/709269966 

People mentioned as having Asperger’s Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with it.

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3. Prominent People Linked with ASD – Tim Page, Pulitzer Prize-winning music critic

Tim Page was born October 11, 1954 in San Diego California. Page spent most of his childhood in Storrs Connecticut where his father was a professor at the University of Connecticut. Before Page became a Pulitzer Prize-winning music critic, he was a student of piano and composition and was interested in film making. In 1975, he moved to New York and attended the Mannes College for one year before transferring to Columbia University. In 1981, Page started his afternoon broadcast program that interviews prominent musicians and composers. A year later, he joined the New York Times as a music writer. In 1987, he became the chief music critic for Newsday and in 1995 he became the chief classical music critic for the Washington Post. He was awarded with the Pulitzer Prize in 1997.

Tim Page revealed in 2007 that he was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome when he and his 10 year old son went to a therapist. His son was diagnosed with Asperger’s as well. Currently, Tim Page is a professor of journalism and music in the University of Southern California. 

To see the full text of the article go to:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Page_(music_critic) )

The person mentioned above may or may not have Asperger’s Syndrome.
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I hope this month’s newsletter has intrigued you and provided information new to you.

The next edition of the newsletter is due in November, 2009.      
And as ever … please send in any inspirational stories that you know of, any questions that you would like our team of experts to answer, any topics that you wish to be discussed, and news stories that you want to share VIA THE BLOG.

We will publish as many as we can.

Until next month………

Best Wishes

Dave Angel

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com

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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

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What tips can you give me to help my son with Aspergers to cope with his first day at college?

More children with Asperger’s Syndrome are going off to college now than ever before. While college is a big step in every teen’s life, you can help make the transition go smoothly with a little advanced preparation. Until he leaves, you are still in command. You can help him …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/331.cfm

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We are planning a family holiday this year with our child who has Aspergers – any tips?

There is just nothing better than a family holiday! Asperger’s Syndrome should not stand in the way of a fun family adventure. With a little advanced planning and extra consideration, you can arrange a trip that will be a great memory for years to come …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/330.cfm

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What tips can you give me to help my son with Aspergers to cope with his first day at college?

More children with Asperger’s Syndrome are going off to college now than ever before. While college is a big step in every teen’s life, you can help make the transition go smoothly with a little advanced preparation. Until he leaves, you are still in command. You can help him …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/329.cfm

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Hi there and welcome to this week’s Aspergers article …

Question

Do you have tips for toilet training a young child with Asperger’s?

Answer

Toilet training your child with Asperger’s will most likely be difficult for you as a parent. If you have potty trained an older child, you will find this experience likely to be very different. Methods that work with some children are typically based on a child’s desire to please the parent and often based on a reward system. Many parents have relied heavily on ‘the M&M method’ or the ‘shoot the Cheerios in the bowl’ trick. These are not typically effective with children with Asperger’s, as children with Asperger’s don’t tend to have the same desire to please and have a more difficult time changing behaviors.

With children with Asperger’s, it can be effective to try to change only one behavior at a time. Concentrate on teaching a child to either pee or poop in the potty, not both at the same time. Watch your child to see if you see signs that your child is aware of needing to use the toilet. If he is aware of his need, it is time to start training.

Many parents find Social Stories helpful during potty training. These are short, pictorial guides designed to storyboard the potty process. Talking through these with your child can help familiarize him with the process of using the toilet. These stories should contain information about feeling the need to use the potty through flushing the toilet and washing your hands. You will need to repeat these Social Stories often, and understand that the potty training process take some time.

Establish a routine around using the potty for your child. This will help the child with Asperger’s feel more comfortable with the toilet training process. Look to see if your child has any fears about using the potty that need to be addressed. Look to see if your child has a degree of comfort and ability in manipulating his own clothing. Can he pull down his own pants? Can he work the button or snap on his pants? If he is comfortable with these things, use them in helping him establish his potty routine.

Maria Wheeler has created a good book on toilet training called, “Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism & Related Disorders.”  This comprehensive toilet training guide contains two hundred toilet training tips and over forty case studies with solutions. Reading this book will give you not only helpful tips, but also some real life examples of how those tips worked for people.

Have a great week,

Dave Angel

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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

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I am having real problems with my 9yo aspie son who has developed a positive antipathy towards younger children.  In particular he seems to believe that babies are conspiring to take over the world (and he’s adamant that this is so), and that he is “bullied” by toddlers.  He has just eye gouged a 3 year old who asked, in a very friendly way, what his name was. He is convinced he is constantly bullied at school although the teachers tell me this is not so and he is under constant surveillance throughout break periods (although he doesn’t know this), so there is no substantiating this claim. It’s appeared to me to be a paranoid delusion.  What on earth can I do?  Is this normal for Asperger’s or something different that requires medical intervention?

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome can have trouble understanding social situations. They often have trouble reading people’s faces and body language and they can misinterpret social situations because of this. They often take what people say at face value and don’t understand how to interpret a figure of speech. These difficulties of interpretation can sometimes make social interaction difficult for children. Children with Asperger’s Syndrome are more often bullied at school than neuro-typical children. Children with Asperger’s tend to be … To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/325.cfm

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My 9yo son with Asperger’s often has extreme bloody noses that can bleed profusely for little or no reason.  It’s worse in summer of course, but even through winter he’d have real gushers.  Other parents of kids with Asperger’s have told me the same thing, so we’re wondering what, if any, the correlation between Asperger’s and blood noses might be.  Have you heard of this?

There doesn’t seem to be a strong correlation between a child having Asperger’s Syndrome and his propensity for getting bloody noses. Some children are simply more prone to having bloody noses than others. There are many theories about what causes the nose to bleed and if your son consistently gets serious nosebleeds, you should consult your doctor to see if you can work on …To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/324.cfm

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My 5 yr old boy has always had problems dealing with frustration and disappointment.  Although we have recently received help from a variety of professionals for other aspects of his ASD this issue still looms large. To explain, he doesn’t understand, doesn’t want to know about having to give things up or let them go or to stop an activity that he is enjoying.  Such as patting and cuddling the cat, pack up time at day care etc or stopping play time when it gets out of control. We have sort of managed so far, but as he gets bigger (and he’s going to be a big strong boy) I am concerned as to how to control him and train him to control himself because using technique’s that are useful now won’t be long term. He is a very determined child that’s coupled with a bad temper. HELP!

Many children with Asperger’s express frustration in inappropriate ways. Many parents are concerned with how to teach their children how to react more appropriately to the situations they find themselves in …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/323.cfm
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Hi there and welcome to this week’s blog post which is all about Aspergers and OCD. I am a day early with the article this week as I’m taking my 2 year old daughter camping tomorrow, and they don’t seem to have internet access in fields yet!

Thanks again for all the great questions and feedback that have poured in over the past week to help inform my future Aspergers ebooks. I am still sorting through them now so there’s still just time to add a question to my ever-growing list if you would like at … http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/313.cfm

This week’s question is -

Question

My son has Aspergers and OCD and he will have hand tremors that he is not aware of. I am trying a more holistic approach but this is not covered by insurance. I wish I knew which ones were beneficial and which ones are not beneficial.

Answer

Traditional treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorder involves a combination of medication and behavioral therapy techniques. The traditional medicines used in this process are SSRI’s, or serotonin selective reuptake inhibitors.

Many parents do not want to treat their children suffering from OCD with these traditional methods, but turn to holistic methods of treatment. Because holistic therapies are designed to treat the whole person, not just the symptoms of a disease or disorder, holistic approaches appeal to many people. Holistic therapies can be added to traditional medical approaches, or can be tried by themselves.

Holistic practices often take into consideration lifestyle factors and address physical aspects of treatment, nutritional aspects, environmental, and social and spiritual elements. In seeking alternative treatments, take into consideration your beliefs and practices.

Holistic therapies for OCD are designed to relieve mental anguish. Many people find yoga and meditation to be effective in calming the mind and the body and strengthening the connection between the two. Aromatherapy can help a person reach a more peaceful and harmonious place. Hypnotherapy and acupuncture have also been found to be successful in treating various disorders. Behavioral therapies are often effective in conjunction with some of these alternative treatments.

In her book, “Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder,” Tamar E. Chansky has created a step-by-step program designed to help parents work with children to free them from the cycle of OCD. This program was created with the goal of helping the child take back control of his life using these techniques. The techniques are designed to work with children who are either on or off medication. This method can be very effective in helping a child break free of this debilitating disorder.

It is difficult to say which holistic methods will work best with your child. Speak with your child’s physician and gain his help in creating a treatment plan for you child. Also solicit advice from trusted holistic practitioners who can suggest a holistic course of treatment.

Thanks and have a great week,

Dave Angel

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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

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Fears of suicide for the child with Asperger’s

Children who have Asperger’s Syndrome are more susceptible to mental health issues (including thoughts of suicide) than the general population, especially during adolescence. Because of their difficulty with decoding social cues and information and their problems translating the world in a way they can understand, children with Asperger’s tend to feel isolated and alone. These feelings can be exacerbated by …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/319.cfm

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What techniques should I be teaching my son with Aspergers to help him maintain his self-esteem throughout his adult years?

Helping your son develop his sense of self esteem throughout his developing years will give him a very strong foundation on which to create his adult self image. Because you have nurtured and supported him throughout his childhood, your son will be entering adulthood with a healthy sense of self-esteem. Establishing yourself as an adult can be a difficult time for any person. Making the transition from student to a functioning adult with a job and responsibilities can be challenging. Encourage your son to …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/317.cfm

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My son is a full time college student and doing well with that. But he has an obsession with smoking cigarettes and cannabis — what should I do?

Celebrate the fact that your son is in college full time and doing well! That is a great accomplishment and one that you are surely proud of. Take this to mean that you have helped your son become independent and successful in his pursuits. The challenge for any parent, not just the parent of a child with Asperger’s is how to …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/318.cfm

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Hi there and welcome to this week’s Aspergers blog …

Here’s the article …

Question

What are the best options for post high school education?

Answer

The future is looking brighter than ever for children with Asperger’s Syndrome.  As you know, children with Asperger’s are usually very intelligent, but suffer from a lack of social skills, communication abilities, and sensory issues.  The recent surge of information, education, and treatment options are starting at younger ages, increasing the chances and the choices for post high school education.

There are several secondary education options to investigate for your child with Asperger’s.  Here are several choices to research.

*    Technical or vocational schools-These schools offer career training in a relatively short amount of time, with the added benefit of being close to home.  If your child is thinking of a career in computer repair, air conditioning and heating repair, general office duties, or computer technology, a vocational school is worth a look.  Check your local schools for the programs available in your area.  Many of these schools offer federal financial aid, as well as state or local aid.

*    Community college-If your child is interested in earning an Associates degree, the local community college may be the solution.  These schools are close to home, yet offer the ‘real’ college experience.  For kids who are uncomfortable with the thought of going away to college, this alternative can give them that big school experience at a more manageable volume.

*    Specialty schools-Single concentration schools are popping up everywhere.  These schools cater to one certain specialty.  For the child with Asperger’s, special interests can mean sure success when it comes to choosing a career path.  Why not concentrate fully on that special interest after high school?  Some examples of specialty careers are culinary arts, cosmetology, graphic arts, fashion design, and animation.

*    Colleges and Universities-It is no longer unusual to find children with Asperger’s going away to a college or university in search of a higher-level degree.  These schools are starting to make necessary accommodations for students with Asperger’s, offering more assistance on campus.  Teens with Asperger’s are demonstrating their capabilities by adapting to college life quite well, as long as the preparation has been in place during high school.  Possibilities for financing their education are numerous with federal and state financial aid and scholarships.

Choosing the right school can guarantee success.  “Colleges that Change Lives: 40 schools you should know about even if you’re not a straight-A student” by Loren Pope, Director of the College Placement Bureau and author of Looking Beyond the Ivy League is a book that lists a group of colleges that have shown a proven ability to develop potential in exceptional students.  This book is necessary for anyone faced with planning a child’s post secondary education.

Preparing your child early by working on social skills, organizational skills, and living skills will ensure a successful adjustment from high school and home life to the college experience.  Finding the right post high school opportunity for your child with Asperger’s Syndrome is not only possible, it is promising.

Have a great week,

Dave Angel

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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

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I have a 14-year-old granddaughter who has Asperger’s syndrome. She is very intelligent and capable but hates school. She also has ADD (not hyperactivity). Her last year helper was terrible and made things so much worse. She did really well on her yearly achievement test but the teacher read the questions to her. My question is: What is the responsibility of the school? I just don’t think they are helping her in the ways she needs help. What should her parents do?

Your granddaughter struggles with Asperger’s as well as ADD and the combination of these two factors can make school a difficult place for her to function well. Her parents need to meet with the school administration and her teachers and come up with a plan of accommodations for your granddaughter that can help her succeed in the classroom. Children with Asperger’s typically will have …To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/295.cfm

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I just have started to work with adults with ASD, I work in a private home setting for an agency in my area. I would like to ask a few questions on handling situations with behaviors. Why at any given moment will they have a behavior, for no apparent reason, lashing out at a staff or another autistic person that lives there with them?

It is difficult to answer your question because there are so many reasons a person with Asperger’s could lash out at another person. Individuals with Asperger’s are all different and have different behavioral triggers, just as people without Asperger’s do. People with Asperger’s tend to have trouble in settings where there is … To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/294.cfm

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Keeping him off sugars and dairy, and too much wheat, that cause Aspergers symptoms and nightly upsets in the middle of sleep periods. Can you advise?

Restricting your child’s diet can have positive effects on his overall behavior as well as his sleep habits. Most people who have children with Asperger’s Syndrome experiment with a gluten free casein free diet, which eliminates many of the grains, including wheat, and dairy from a child’s diet. There is some scientific evidence, although not conclusive, that children on the Autism Spectrum have …To read this article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/293.cfm
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PARENTING ASPERGERS AND AUTISM NEWSLETTER
VOLUME 33       
July 2009        

Hi,

This is Dave Angel.  Welcome to the thirty-third edition  of “The Parenting Autism & Asperger’s Newsletter”

Inside this edition you will find:

1. Hot Topic of Discussion – Asperger’s Syndrome and Anorexia

2. In the News – Teenage Boy with Asperger’s Syndrome Nominated for Big Skill Award 

3. Prominent People Linked with ASD – Dr. Temple Grandin, Best-selling Author and Livestock Industry Consultant

Also a quick reminder that my review of “The Total Transformation Program” is online to read at http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/total-transformation-review/ if you haven’t yet seen it, and are interested.

Thanks

Dave
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1. Hot Topic of Discussion –Asperger’s Syndrome And Anorexia

In recent studies, scientists have found that people with eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa have a higher possibility of being diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders such as Asperger’s Syndrome. It is already known that symptoms between the two disorders are common but it is only recently that researchers suggest that both Asperger’s syndrome and anorexia may share the same neurobiological basis. 

According to psychiatry professor Janet Treasure and Asperger’s syndrome expert Tony Attwood, 20% of patients with anorexia meet the diagnostic criteria for Asperger’s syndrome. Symptoms that are common to both Asperger’s Syndrome and anorexia are as follows:
* Attention to small details 
* Easily distracted
* Obsessive/Compulsive behavior
* Inability to multitask
* Presence of anxiety or mood disorders
* Abnormal eating behaviors

People with Asperger’s syndrome are usually unable to tolerate different kinds of food and may often times feel nauseated on the smell, taste, presentation and texture of food. This behavior may result to excessive loss of weight and eventually may lead to eating disorders such as anorexia.

 To read the full article, go to: http://autismaspergerssyndrome.suite101.com/article.cfm/aspergers_syndrome_and_anorexia

People mentioned above as having Asperger’s Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with it.

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2.  In the News – Teenage Boy with Asperger’s Syndrome Nominated For Big Skill Award 
Jack Bainbridge, a sixteen year old boy who has been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, is nominated for BBC East/Learning and Skills Council’s 2009 Big Skill Award. Jack discovered his talent when he first started painting people’s facial expressions. Those who are affected with Asperger’s syndrome usually have a hard time identifying the different facial expressions and Jack found a way to overcome his difficulties through art.
Since Jack’s discovery of his talent, he has done several works of art including a sculpture that is currently displayed outside of his school and he also has submitted his own design of a commemorative coin for the 2012 Olympics. 
Aside from art, Jack is also a skilled rugby player and is one of the top players for Cambridgeshire.
To read the full article, go to:
http://www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/news/Award-nomination-for-Jack39s-stunning.5362734.jp

People mentioned above as having Asperger’s Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with it.

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3. Prominent People Linked with ASD – Dr. Temple Grandin, Best-selling Author and Livestock Industry Consultant
Dr. Temple Grandin was born in August 29, 1947 in Boston, Massachusetts. At two years old, Dr. Grandin was diagnosed with brain damage and in the 1950s, she was diagnosed with autism.

In 1970, Dr. Grandin received her Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology and she received her Doctorate in Animal Science in 1975. Grandin is a well known best selling author and a consultant in the livestock industry. She is also an active advocate for Autism and Asperger’s syndrome and a leader in animal welfare.

Dr. Temple Grandin has published several books and articles and has appeared in numerous television programs such as Larry King Live and The Today Show. She is also the subject of an HBO Film currently titled, Temple Grandin Thinking in Pictures.

To see the full text of the article go to:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Grandin

People mentioned above may have Asperger’s Syndrome, but were never formally diagnosed.
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The next edition of the newsletter is due in August, 2009.     

And as ever … please send in any inspirational stories that you know of, any questions that you would like our team of experts to answer, any topics that you wish to be discussed, and news stories that you want to share VIA THE BLOG.

We will publish as many as we can.

Until next month………

Best Wishes

Dave Angel

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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

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I have a question regarding Neurotherapy for Asperger’s kids.  It is helpful?  What is its success rate?

Upon learning that a child has Asperger’s Syndrome, most parents will begin to research treatments. There are several places you can get information about treatments. However, getting involved with other people affected by this diagnosis is the best way to find out about the different options you have for treatment and learning about what works and why. You do have to remember that kids with the Asperger’s are all …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/292.cfm

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My daughter is 17 years old.  She wants to drive but I worry that she will go into ‘Asperger’s mode’ and zone out while driving.  When we talk about driving I explain to her that she needs to be paying attention at all times.  Her response is “I don’t know if I can do that.”  Any suggestions?

One of the first, most obvious life transitions for a teen is reaching the legal driving age. That driver’s license screams adulthood and independence. Every teen dreams of the day they can jump into a car and drive away, alone and unsupervised. Yikes! Teens with Asperger’s are no different from their peers when it comes to meeting these life transitions. With a little extra preparation, your teen can …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/291.cfm

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My 10 year old son with Asperger’s has suddenly started sitting upside down on his chair and swinging his legs in the air during class.  He also rolls around on the floor during ‘mat time’ at school.  Nothing else has changed.  He is in a mainstream school and his teacher is at a loss.  Any ideas?

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome deal with several different issues. Some of these actually make life better, and others can cause problems in certain situations. Children with Asperger’s have normal to above-normal …

To read this article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/290.cfm

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Review of CD 1 – Why Does My Child Act This Way

The first thing to say about the Total Transformation program is that the quality of the recording and presentation is very high. It consists of a series of interviews on each disk involving James Lehman and several of his colleagues. The sound quality is excellent and it’s a slick recording studio effort. James himself has worked for over 3 decades with children who have difficult behaviors and their families in a variety of settings in New England, USA.

On CD1 James looks at what he calls “The Real Causes of Obnoxious and Abusive Behavior”. He goes through an extensive list of 16 categories that explain why children may behave in certain difficult and challenging ways. This is a really helpful starting point for looking at where your child may be at and each category is explored in depth. The categories make good common sense and are easy to follow.

With regard to Aspergers James clearly states that his approach will work for children with neurological impairment, learning disability etc. when there are behavioral issues to be addressed. For example he outlines a case that he worked on with a child with ADHD who was “hiding behind” that diagnosis and avoiding responsibility for his behaviors and actions. Now I know for a fact that for many children with Aspergers this type of scenario goes on to, so clearly the information can transfer.

So the verdict … so far so good. There is some excellent material put together in an easy-to-understand fashion with a work book (that includes actual activities that you can do). My only criticism is that James refers to “the kid” all the time when talking about what to do with your child – which seems a bit impersonal and not my favourite way of referring to a child or young person. But James does say in his accompanying workbook that he uses the term “kid” as a catch-all phrase and apologies for any offense this may cause – so I guess I shouldn’t be too picky!

To learn more about The Total Transformation Program go to http://tinyurl.com/643fs3

Review of CD 2 – Why won’t my Child Listen To Me

This CD concentrates on what James calls “ineffective parenting roles”. On CD 1 he begins the program by looking at the child; on CD 2 he turns his attention to the parents. He classifies 7 types of ineffective parenting which include “the screamer”, “the over negotiator” and “the martyr”. Again James uses very clear terms such as these which you can already begin to guess as to what they are about.

One of the great points that James makes is about parenting styles over time. He says that when he grew up in the 1960’s he was actually being parented by his parents in a style from the 1930’s (i.e. when they grew up) and things clearly change! He makes this point in relation to parents in the 2000’s and that we should be careful not to parent from the 1960’s or 1970’s (i.e. when many of us grew up).  Which makes so much sense as the modern world is so different now for children. Think about the internet, cable TV, new child care legislation, the huge prevalence of cars, differences in schooling etc. and how this compares to the 1970’s. Clearly we all as parents (me included) need to have a modern take on how we parent our kids as that’s the society they live in each day.

Another  concept that I really liked was the idea of parenting your actual child and not your ideal child. We all of visions of our “ideal child” in our head and this can never truly match the reality of how your child actually is. For a child with Aspergers this issue may be even more pronounced and this is an area that many parents do need to do some work on.

To learn more about The Total Transformation Program go to http://tinyurl.com/643fs3

Review of CD 3 – Breaking Through

In CD 3 James continues on from CD 2 and talks about parenting roles that lead to accountability. He breaks these down in to 3 roles:

1.    Training & Coaching Role – Such as teaching by example, and providing strategic help and solutions.
2.    Problem-solving role – Such as encouraging exploration and experimentation, and participating in mutual decision-making.
3.    Limit-setting role – Such as demanding compliance with rules and viewing behaviors as a performance issue rather than a moral issue.

I really like a number of these roles and think they’re essential for positive parenting. For example James talks of setting clear rules that stop eventual “show downs” further down the road. He says that if a child has had a number of cookies instead of the parent asking “can you not have so many cookies?” be much clearer and state “stop eating the cookies now please”. This way things are 100% clear for the child and they are far less likely to eat more cookies, and this can save a later dispute on the same subject.

James also talks about being consistent with boundaries for example if you agree your son needs to be in at 6pm that’s when he should be in, which is another good basic principle. But James then goes on to say that even if your son calls to say that the sports teacher has asked him to stay behind a further 30 minutes to practice with the team, that your son should still be told to be back at 6pm. I disagree with this and think it’s a little too rigid. Instead I would suggest that you insist to speak to the teacher and if it’s a valid and worthwhile exercise then the time can be pushed back to 6:30pm. But other than this criticism I found CD 3 to be another excellent parenting resource.

To learn more about The Total Transformation Program go to http://tinyurl.com/643fs3

Review of CD 4 – Transformation Tools

In CD 4 the focus is back on to the child again when James outlines 27 Tools to Change Your Child’s Behavior Now. One great point that he makes on this CD is that parents should stop comparing the inside of their family (i.e. all the arguments, rows and fights that go on) with the outside of other families (i.e. what seems to be a perfectly nice and happy family across the road but probably have many of the same problems as you but you just cannot see them). This is a pressure that so many parents could really do without, and it’s a totally artificial pressure that can be avoided.

Also another strategy that I really like from the extensive list of  27 is what James calls “re-direct interest”. This is the basic and common sense view that changing activity or conversation can help to reduce difficult behaviors almost immediately. This is also described as motion changing emotion. So for example if during a huge argument you were to get yourself and your son to hop 5  times on each foot immediately then this would know doubt change how he feels and acts in this second. I have heard this approach used before by Tony Robbins (the world famous self-help guru from the USA) and really like it myself. And would urge you to give it a go – in many ways the more silly and bizarre action that you and your child do the better it may reduce any difficult behaviors.

To learn more about The Total Transformation Program go to http://tinyurl.com/643fs3

Review of  CD 5 – Understanding faulty thinking

This CD investigates the 14 types of Faulty Thinking – which are all considered to be blocks to successful problem solving for parents and their children. The full list of 14 are …

• Assuming
• All or Nothing Thinking
• Personalizing
• Hypodermic Focus
• Embracing Negativity
• Emotionalizing
• Projections
• The Blame Game
• Rule Deflation
• Uniqueness
• Minimization
• Awfulizing
• False self-perceptions
• Sincere self-delusion

Each one of these blocks is really interesting and so true when it comes to parenting. For example “The Blame Game” looks at how parents blaming the children really doesn’t help change behavior. But a subtle shift to giving children the responsibility for their own behavior gives a much better chance of them behaving better next time.

Another quick example from the 14 blocks is “Personalizing” which teaches parents not to take things personally when they go wrong. So for example if your son gets into trouble at school –  REMEMBER: he is not doing this to hurt you. And if you take it personally this way you will respond emotionally, rather than in a more objective and measured way.

At the end of this CD is an excellent section aimed at helping parents who are divorced, to continue to care for their children. There are some great practical tips to ensure that they can minimise the impact on the children. One of them relates to the age old problem of when one partner from the marriage refuses to be consistent and provide the correct support for the child. James gives helpful and clear guidance as to what the other main consistent parent must do to counteract this for the child’s welfare.

To learn more about The Total Transformation Program go to http://tinyurl.com/643fs3

Review of CD6 – What to do after your child acts out

In this CD James Lehman begins by discussing how to set achievable goals with children; as opposed to wishes. This distinction he believes is hugely significant when it comes to helping a child’s behaviour.

He then talks about an 8 step model called The Alternative Response which he describe as a “problem-solving process to challenge and confront inappropriate behaviour and develop an alternative behaviour for the next time …”

These 8 steps are:

Investigate

Confront

Identify

Challenge

Declare

Probe

Choose

Consequences and amendments

I like this model and it is effective in working with children’s behaviours. Just to give you an idea, Step 6 is entitled “Probe”. In this step you work with your child to make them identify what they could do differently in future for a different outcome.  Which helps give the child more of a sense of responsibility in their future behaviours and so gives them the chance to act differently next time.

James also raises an interesting point about “time outs” which should be used genuinely to give a child 5 or 10 minutes out of the situation in order to calm down from the stressors. But many parents use “time outs” as a punishment which confuses matters and is not an effective approach.

To learn more about The Total Transformation Program go to http://tinyurl.com/643fs3

Review of CD 7 – How to Stop It Before It Starts; The Trigger Management Process

Now at the start of this CD James is quite controversial in asserting that “there is no such thing as an anger management problem”. He views it as trigger management or thought management problem. His basic idea is spot on in my view – he feels that children just need to manage their thoughts and triggers better. This means that they ARE in control and can change their behaviours – rather than being  a victim of some mysterious thing called “anger”, over which they have no control.

There are 8 steps to James’ Trigger management Process which are pretty self-explanatory on the whole …

Diminish The Potential

Manage The Situation

Identify The Trigger Thought

Constructive Self-Talk

Simple Plan

Communicate

Implement

Move On

But one criticism here of James and this CD is that he uses the word “retardation” several times in reference to children with learning/development disabilities. I really don’t like that term and was disappointed to hear it being used on what is on the whole an excellent parental resource.

To learn more about The Total Transformation Program go to http://tinyurl.com/643fs3

Review of  Bonus CD “10 Ways to Turn Around Your Child’s Attitude in One Minute Or Less”

The bonus CD is a handy quick-fire resource with 10 great techniques to use straight away when your having problems with your child.

The 10 Strategies are:

1. Assume Control

2. Disconnect

3. Script it for the next time

4. No speeches

5. Focus on the behaviour

6. Halt over-stimulation

7. Use strategic recognition and affection

8. Self-disclosure to the child

9. Do, not say

10. Accept bad moods and bad days

The idea for most of the 10 is pretty self-explanatory from the title and they can all be helpful with a child with Aspergers. Just to give you an example is the “Do, not say” approach. Which basically teaches that we need to role model for our children as they learn and copy so much from us. So for example when you are talking to your child about calming down –  you must be displaying calm behaviors and body language when doing so. If you are angry and uptight and yet trying to tell your son “calm down don’t get angry” it’s simply not going to work.

To learn more about The Total Transformation Program go to http://tinyurl.com/643fs3

That’s all for the review of this program. As well as all of the above audio CD’s there are 2 further DVD’s included that I haven’t even had chance to watch. They are the “Jump Start” DVD which you begin with and “The Parents Workshop” Live DVD. And if they are anything like the quality of the CD’s then I am sure they’ll also be a great source of parental information too.

Have  a great day,

Dave Angel

Hi there -

Just a quick update post for you …

Tomorrow (Saturday 3rd July) – I am taking the younger part of my family away to a self-catering farm cottage in Wales for a week (the 18 year old is staying home alone for the first time – scarey stuff!)

For those who don’t know Wales – it’s part of the UK and apparently rains a lot there!!

So it should be fun – but as my 2 year old has quite an obsession with farm animals I am sure it will work out just fine!

Anyway the point of me telling you this is that I may be slower in replying to any email or support issues that arise over the next 7 days.

I plan to find a local internet cafe and pop in there a few times on my break – but just a pre-warning that it may take up to 2-3 days for me to reply to stuff.

Next week’s blog post will still be online on Tuesday as always – and I have already added this week’s new articles and videos at www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com for those who are members (see below for the links) – I will then add more content to the site when I return the following Sunday/Monday.

New articles at Parenting Aspergers Community…

A lot of people tell me I need to be more consistent in my parenting to my son with ASD.  What does this really mean?  Can you advise how I can become better at this?

Being the parent of a child on the Autism spectrum can be a tough job at times.  There is nothing more demanding than the need to rediscover what it means to parent a child.  There are some . . .

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/285.cfm

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What are some of the classic ways that parents miscommunicate with their children who have Asperger’s — and how can this be improved?
Children with Asperger’s Syndrome usually have well developed speech and articulation. However, there is much more to communication than having the ability to speak. These children struggle with the physical side of communication. Eye contact, personal space limitations, body language, facial expression, and social and vocal cues are additional elements that make up true communication. These areas are most likely the cause for miscommunication. To improve communication between parents and children with Asperger’s Syndrome, the parents will need to …

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/284.cfm

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Aspergers News Desk

This is a cartoon style news broadcast about the basics and fundamentals of Aspergers An excellent video for showing people who are new to the diagnosis as it packs lots of helpful information and tips into under 2 minutes footage. So a helpful educational tool for family members, friends or school educators. Running Time 1 Minute 57 Seconds . . .
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/283.cfm

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OK that’s the update over – have  a great weekend.

Dave Angel