Hi there and welcome to this week’s blog post. Whilst driving home today in my car I’ve been listening to the radio; and apparently there are a lot of people wanting to emigrate to Canada from the UK, following current tax reforms here. So a big hello to all you Canadian readers of my blog; and you should expect a few new people with funny British accents in your neighbourhood sometime soon! Anyway radio ramblings aside here’s this week’s article:

Question

I would love to know how to deal with anxiety in Aspie children I have a son, 6 years old, who suffers anxiety and night terrors.  The anxiety can get so bad at times that my poor son will throw up out of fear.

Answer

Although sleep problems are not part of the diagnostic criteria for autism, sleep problems seem to go hand in hand with autism.  Many parents report this as a problem in their children with autism. A new study from the University La Sapienza in Italy shows children with Asperger’s Syndrome have more sleep problems than average children.  Dr. Oliviero Bruni, the researcher, found that children with Asperger’s have a high incidence of sleep disorders and other problems, such as getting to sleep and restlessness, as well as daytime sleepiness. The study, published in the journal SLEEP, November 1, 2007, states that 50% of the children with AS didn’t want to go to bed, 75% needed a light or television in the bedroom, 87% had difficulty getting to sleep, and 75% fell asleep sweating.

There are medications such as Seroquel, Klonopin, Celexa and others that may help your son.  Melatonin has had some good results, as have selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors.  But avoid the use of Singular for asthma or allergies as many incidences of children having night terrors while taking it have been reported.  Some users have reported very vivid dreams and night terrors while on Strattera or while getting used to it.

Children and teenagers who spend two or three hours a day engaging in exercise have an easier time going to and staying asleep because they are more tired physically.  So, make sure that your son gets plenty of physical exercise.
However, sometimes Aspies who are over-tired experience night terrors, so you have to find out how much exercise is good, but is not too much.

Sometimes keeping a journal of one’s thoughts can help reduce night terrors.  Fears and concerns can be written down and that seems to reduce the brain’s need to process them at night.  Since your son is so young, perhaps he could tell you his thoughts and you could journal them for him.

Counselling may help night terrors.  Also, perhaps a medication is promoting night terrors.  Talk to your son’s doctor about this.

There are two Exploring Feelings books by the highly-acclaimed Aspergers expert Tony Atwood. One is designed to explore and manage anxiety, the other to explore and manage anger. You can read more about them by clicking here. The original program was designed for small groups of two to five children between the ages of 9 and 12 years, with two adults conducting the program. However, the Exploring Feelings program can easily be modified to be used with just one child. The activities can also be modified to be age-appropriate for an adolescent or adult. The program was designed as a treatment for an anxiety disorder or anger management problem in children with Asperger’s syndrome, but the program can be used with children with High Functioning Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified (PDDNOS). The author also designed the program so that it does not have to be implemented by a qualified psychologist. A teacher, speech pathologist, occupational therapist, or parent can implement the program without having training in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

Until next time …
Dave Angel

PS – The new Parenting Aspergers website is coming on leaps and bounds and I am working with an excellent web designer called Valerie (co-incidentally out in Canada!) who is working hard on the final look and design. This week I’ve been working on ways to add Aspergers information using video to the site; which I hope will be another great feature. I am really excited about the potential help this site will be to so many parents.

Hi,

This is Dave Angel.  Welcome to the twenty-fifth edition
of “The Parenting Autism & Aspergers Newsletter”…

Inside this edition you will find:

1. Blog Fix!

2. Hot Topic of Discussion - Early Diagnosis of Aspergers?

3. In the News – Study Links Autism with Having an Older Father

4. Prominent People Linked with ASD - Charles Richter,
Seismologist

5. Parenting Tips

6. Total Transformation

Thanks

Dave

————————————————————
1. Blog Fix -

Just a quick note to say that my web guy has told me that he’s
FINALLY fixed the problem that certain people have had in seeing
the full blog articles.

Here’s what he said in his email to me:

“Sorry for the delay I’ve tested things on other systems after
making changes. Now it’s working fine in all browsers. I’ve
tested with following browsers IE6, IE7, Opera, Safari
(both windows and Mac) and Firefox.”

So if use use any of those browsers you should be fine. But
please let me know if, by some horrible twist of fate, this
still doesn’t resoove the issue (as long as you aren’t averse
to hearing a grown man crying with frustration!!)

————————————————————

2. Hot Topic of Discussion - Early Diagnosis of Aspergers?

On the site, Autism Connect, Drs. Philip and Osnat Teitelbaum,
from the University of Florida, USA, claim that a simple test of
whether a six-month-old baby can hold his head high on a swing might
help diagnose Aspergers Syndrome early on. This would permit very
early intervention. The Teitelbaums watched videos of babies and
toddlers later diagnosed with Aspergers. They reported that the
infants displayed movement abnormalities,such as facial paralysis,
falling to one side while walking, and failing to keep their heads
upright when the body is tilted (the Tilting Test) as it is when
swinging. Although not all abnormal movements were present in each
infant, the doctors said that giving babies the Tilting Test might
catch many cases of Aspergers.

In the videos they watched, the Teitelbaums found other disorders in
early motor development, such as crawling, walking, and lying down.
The Teitelbaums state, “The tilting test should be routinely performed
on all infants beginning at six months, particularly if there is a
history of autism or Aspergers Syndrome in the family.” The test takes
20-30 seconds and a positive result would indicate a need for
further testing. Whilst no doubt an interesting study; obviously such
tests do have some serious implications as to how people with Aspergers
are viewed. So I am always a little cautious on such issues as early
diagnosis and what that means for how people with Autism/Aspergers are
actually valued in society.

To read the full article please go to: http://www.autismconnect.org/news.asp?section=00010001&itemtype=adam&id=5450&page=2

People mentioned as having Asperger Syndrome may or may not
have actually have been diagnosed with it.

———————————————————–

3. In the News – Study Links Autism with Having an Older Father

Men over the age of 40 are nearly six times more likely to
father a child with autism than younger men, according to a new
study.

Israeli researchers claim that, in their study, “Men who were over
40 at the time of the child’s birth were 5.75 times as likely to
have a child with ASD compared with men under 30.” This included
children with Aspergers Syndrome.

Older mothers were not found to have more children with ASD.

If true, the recent rise in autism numbers might be linked to the
phenomenom of people having kids at older ages than they used to.

To read the full article go to: http://www.barbelith.com/topic/2589/from/35

People mentioned above as having Asperger Syndrome may or may not
have actually have been diagnosed with it.

————————————————————-

4. Prominent People Linked with ASD - Charles Richter, Seismologist

Original article by GARY ROBBINS, The Orange County Register

Charles Richter, a well known seismologist earned his Ph.D. in
theoretical physics in 1928 at Caltech University in the USA. His
main achievement was that he developed the earthquake magnitude scale,
the Richter Scale, that measures the amount of energy released by
earthquakes of various intensities.

Richter married, but had no children. Richter was an avid nudist and
poet. Most people knew little about Richter as he was intensely private.
Richter may have had Aspergers Syndrome. His biography will soon by
published. It is called “Richters Scale: Measure of an Earthquake,
Measure of a Man.” Richter died in 1985 at age 85.

People who knew Richter described him as a walking contradiction, which
can indicate Aspergers. He wasn’t unfriendly. He wanted to connect with
people and share his knowledge, but he was terribly lacking in social
skills and hated crowds in which there were conversations requiring
give and take and interaction.  But, he was in his element when he
was free to expound on one of his obsessions. These one-sided, pedantic
conversations are a classic indication of Aspergers. He was brilliant,
but jumped from one task to another,finding it difficult to focus.

Aspergers was barely recognized in his lifetime, so he was never
diagnosed.

To see the full text of the articles go to: http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/homepage/abox/article_1294221.php

Charles Richter may have had Aspergers Syndrome, but was never formally diagnosed.
————————————————————-

5. Parenting Tip - Exercise balls

Here’s a great little tip from a parent called Lorrie …

“My son has been diagnosed within the autism spectrum disorder, he is
10 and loves being on the computer but finds it hard to just sit
on a chair and sit still.

He will twirl the chair on one leg, rock back and forth and whatever
else he can find to do with it. We have gone through a couple chairs.
I came up with the solution to two problems.

My son is also on medication that has made him gain some weight
which he is struggling with. I was looking to buy an exercise ball
for myself at my computer, because I had read that by doing that
you will strengthen your inner core muscles.

So I thought it would be great for me, but then before I even got
to use it I thought what a great idea for a chair for my son. And
it has worked out wonderful. He can roll back and forth in the
living room, the can move all the time and not break anything and
he is also getting some great exercise and has lost a couple
pounds just having the ball for a month.

I don’t know why I never thought of this before but I sure wish
I would have. So anyway that’s what’s worked for me to kind of
get rid of some of that excess energy that my son has.”

Thanks Lorrie that’s a great tip. And please keep sending in tips for
me to share with others by adding your tip to the blog at:

http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/parenting-tips-wanted/

————————————————————-

6. Total Transformation - I’ve just received a copy of a program that I
ordered over the internet called “The Total Transformation Program”.

It claims to be a “Parent’s Program for Managing Challenging Behaviours
in Children” by an American named James Lehman.

It’s got 8 CD’s, a DVD and quite a chunky workbook.

I intend to listen to the CD’s on my daily commute to work each day
and so will feed back mini-reviews of this program over the next
couple of months, for those who are interested in learning more.

If you want to check out the website now just go to:

http://tinyurl.com/643fs3

————————————————————-

I hope the information this month was helpful and interesting
to you.

The next edition of the newsletter is due in December.

And as ever … please send in any inspirational stories
that you know of, any questions that you would like our team
of experts to answer, any topics that you wish to be discussed
and news stories that you want to share VIA THE BLOG.

We will publish as many as we can.

Until next month………

Best Wishes

Dave Angel

Hi there and welcome to this week’s Aspergers blog post.

If you didn’t see yesterday’s email; just a quick reminder that I am running a 72 Hour “Credit Crunch Sale” which offers all my parenting products at discount (topics are Aspergers, ADHD and Autism).

So if you want to take advantage of this unique discounted offer go to:

www.parentingaspergers.com/creditcrunch.html

Anyway let’s go straight into this week’s question:

Question

I have a partner and many family members with Asperger’s, but the worst affected is 19.  He has very limited social skills, his eating pattern is poor, and so is his sleeping pattern.  But he is addicted to a game on his computer.  How do we as parents encourage him to spend less time on the computer, eat better, and sleep more?

Answer
Playing electronic games provides repetition, consistency, and security in his life.  Also, electronic games are predictable.  He can count on the same actions and results every time he plays the games.  People with Asperger’s Syndrome want to feel safe and secure in their activities.  The electronic games allow him to follow predetermined rules that result in predictable outcomes.
It sounds like your son is concentrating on electronic games at the expense of his health.  He spends time in front of a video screen that could be better spent learning new eating habits and practicing better sleeping patterns.

Check into Asperger’s support groups for your son; there might be one in your local area.  Support groups give advice on daily living skills and healthy lifestyles.  Encourage your son to join one of these groups; he will meet people who are his age and may be experiencing similar difficulties with Asperger’s Syndrome.  In addition to information, a support group can give your son the opportunity to talk about his feelings about Asperger’s and the help necessary for him to cope with adult responsibilities.

Another resource for your son is an Asperger’s specialist who can inform and teach your son social skills.  A specialist, such as a psychiatrist, might prescribe Melatonin, which will help your son sleep better at night.

Your son is in his late teens, and he is fast approaching adulthood.  You can use reasoning and negotiation instead of rules and orders.  However, if the excessive computer use continues, you might need to move it into a room that restricts his access to it.  Also, the computer can be used as a reward if your son tries new foods and establishes a regular pattern of sleep.  Although your son is getting older, there are rules that are still effective in changing his behaviour; you should establish those rules in your household.

In terms of nutrition, many autistic children suffer from food allergies, overgrowth of intestinal yeast, and sensitivity to sugar and dairy products.  Consult a doctor to see if your son needs to adjust his diet.  Changing your son’s diet to wheat-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free products requires patience because people with Asperger’s can be very strong-willed, and implementing change can be difficult for both of you.  See if other family members will adopt a diet similar to your son’s; this will make him feel integrated into the family.  Also, read diet books, look into websites, and read advice from nutritionists.

Your son’s sleep patterns can be changed with consistent hours.  He needs to establish a time that he will go to bed each evening and get up each morning.  If he complains that he cannot get to sleep or wake up at a given time, tell him that there are parts of our bodies called circadian rhythms, and they help our bodies rest.  If your son can get to bed at a specific time several nights in a row, the circadian rhythms in his body will reset and help him go to sleep and wake up at a given time each evening and morning.  Remove all distractions from his bedroom to help him concentrate on rest and sleep.

Until next time …

Dave Angel

PS - Don’t forget the discounted offer at www.parentingaspergers.com/creditcrunch.html

Hi there and welcome to this week’s Aspergers blog. Last weeks discussion on Barack Obama seemed to cause upset and annoyance to some readers; whilst others seemed really happy to discuss the issues. It was a really mixed reaction - but I guess that’s politics for you!

Anyway moving on; I wanted to let you know that next week I’m planning to run a bit of a Pre-Xmas sale of my Aspergers, Autism and ADHD e-books. Because I know that times are getting hard for a lot of people and so I want to offer them at a discount for those who may be struggling. So look out of for that in an email next week. But on to this week’s article which is …

Question

How do I make my child understand the rules of board games like monopoly?  He wants to play it only his way and gets extremely angry if he has to pay a penalty.  He does not understand the sets of rules for different games and only wants to win with his own rules.

Answer

The child with Aspergers may get upset over game rules, sharing, or taking turns. This applies especially when following the rules means that sometimes the child with Aspergers loses the game!  Hence, your son’s insistence on playing with his own rules.  He does not understand that others want to win a game sometimes, too.  And, even if he does come to understand that, he may not care about their feelings enough to play the game appropriately.  While some children act as “the warden” or keeper of the rules, others find it hard to grasp the give and take of peer relationships, including following rules while playing games with others.

To help your son with this problem, target “fairness” strategies.  Step-by-step, teach causes and effects in feelings, behaviour, and consequences, along with how following rules and social/emotional reciprocity leads to positive rewards.  But of course that is much easier said than done!

Many children with autism spectrum disorders are more successful in structured situations.  Playing games on “neutral turf” in the community often provides the means for structuring activities.  For example, a play date at mini-golf has an inherent structure and it will be difficult for your son to change the rules, as other players can say, “Everyone has to follow the rules of the golf course.”  Pair him with a friend who understands his difficulty.  The friend may be able to help him accept the fact that rules are necessary.

If you son has trouble taking turns, plan some games that are based on just that!  For example, in Parcheesi, all players might be given “a point” when they take a turn when they are supposed to and don’t complain when others have a turn.  Write the points down in clear view of everyone.  At the end of the game, these points are added up.  For each 10 points earned, a small reward is given, such as an M&M, a penny, etc.  Everyone participates and everyone earns the reward – a bigger amount of reward is earned by the players who are most cooperative at taking turns.  Don’t take points away for misbehaviour or your son may not get any reward for the times he did behave appropriately!

In the card game War players choose a card, turn it over and the highest card takes both.  The person with the most cards at the end wins.  This can be a learning experience for your son.  Play with only cards 2 through 10 as the face cards may be confusing.  In this game, your son may win often enough to prevent him from becoming angry.  If not, explain to the players that as well as the highest card taking both, each player who accepts losing a card gracefully will earn a point.  Write the points down in clear view of everyone.  Give a reward for highest points at the end, as well as one to the winner of the most cards.

Chutes and Ladders is a good game for your son to play as it’s difficult to change the rules.  You roll the dice, move, and either climb the ladders or slide down the chutes.  Again offer points for gracious acceptance of sliding down a chute.  The winner at the end and the one with the most points both should receive a small reward.

Parcheesi is another good game that is simple, requires taking turns, and rolling the dice to determine moves.  There are no penalties involved to create frustration.

Many children with Aspergers enjoy computer or hand held, electronic games.  With a little research, you can find games that will interest your son.  Start with the simplest ones; ones at which he can easily be successful.  The penalties and rewards are built in.  He won’t be able to change them or the rules.  If he gets angry while playing, he’ll have to learn how to move beyond anger to win the game.  If he gets physically angry (hits the computer or throws the game, etc.), take it away, but let him try again in a few days.  Over time, he may accept the need for rules when playing.  If he plays for a period of time without anger, give him a lot of praise.  Since the games can be played at various levels and be restarted if he wishes, he has some control.  With these games, he is free to fail without having to deal with another person winning and “lording it over him” which kids often do.  Increase the complexity of the games as he matures.  Avoid violent games, though.

Thanks for reading and have a great day,

Dave Angel

PS – As part of my now regular weekly update on the new Aspergers website ; I just wanted to let you know that the site’s got a really cool feature that I’m working on. It allows you to read all the latest headlines and news topics from around the world related to Aspergers – on one simple web page. I love technology (when it actually works!) that brings new sources of information to people in such a simple and easy to use way. As ever keep watching this space!

Hi everyone - Following on from Obama’s victory in the election I wanted to share this with you whilst it’s so topical …

I just got a great email from a newsletter reader (Joan) which details the reply of Barack Obama’s office to an email about disability:

Dear Joan,

Bob and I are volunteers on Barack Obama’s disability organizing team in Iowa.  There has been a lot of discussion about personal connections to the disability community.  We wanted to make sure you knew that Barack Obama has multiple personal connections to our community, which will help guide his policies and plans to improve the lives of all Americans with disabilities.

We are pasting at the bottom of this email an op-ed written by Mike Strautmanis, a long-time close personal friend of Barack and Michelle as well as the former Chief Counsel in Barack’s Senate office.  Mike has a son who is on the autism spectrum.  We think this op-ed will help crystallize that Barack Obama is the candidate for all Americans with disabilities, not only because he has a detailed four part Plan to Empower Americans with Disabilities, but also because he understands the barriers that need to be broken down to level the playing field for people in our community and is personally committed to the government breaking down those barriers.

Thank you.

Bob Bacon

Op-Ed

by Mike Strautmanis

My son Jori has a disability.  He is on the Autism Spectrum.  Jori is a daily gift to our family, but we face challenges.  Fortunately, Jori has a friend named Barack Obama. Literally.  Barack has watched Jori grow up.  He stands by Jori, his mother, and me as we struggle with the barriers society places in the way of people with disabilities.  Every American with a disability, or who has a loved one with a disability, should be fortunate enough to have a friend — or even a President — like Barack Obama.

I want our country to provide support to families like mine — the families who face the practical, financial, and emotional challenges of a loved one with a disability.  Jori has taught Barack about these challenges.  These days, I work on the Obama-Biden campaign after serving on Barack’s Senate staff as his Chief Counsel since he arrived in Washington.  But long before that, Barack and I were friends.  He and Michelle have been a big part of our family’s life and a great help to my wife and me.  To them, Jori is not a statistic; he’s a kid they see around town or at the office. They see how our family, which has more advantages than many, struggles to help Jori to get the care he needs, which is sometimes more than a loving family can provide, and the education he deserves, but few public schools have the resources to deliver.

When Barack gives a friendly hello to Jori, he shows his kindness; when he accommodates my schedule to enable me to be a fully engaged parent, he shows that he understands what families like ours go through. He understands that as a leader, he has an obligation to help us to keep all of America’s promises to our loved ones and give us the tools we need as parents to ensure that our children won’t be shortchanged.

As President, Barack will begin by creating a new White House post: Assistant to the President for Disability Policy.  He will press Congress to pass the CLASS Act and the Community Choice Act to help Americans with disabilities to choose to live independently in the community and to help them pay for the direct care workers, assistive technology and other tools that make independent, community-based living possible.  For our children, Barack will continue his fight for full funding of IDEA so that students with disabilities are assured of a free appropriate public education.   Barack agrees that funding IDEA at less than half its authorized level is a disgrace, but he also understands that merely wringing more money out of Congress is not enough.  His Secretary of Education will fully implement and enforce IDEA.  Local school districts’ foot-dragging and resistance to IDEA, denying teachers what they need to serve kids with disabilities in the most inclusive possible setting, will no longer be tolerated.

It’s easy for me to say that my friend Barack will do these things, but this isn’t just friendship talking.  I know he will do the right thing, for two reasons. First, there is his record: As an Illinois state senator Barack Obama sponsored legislation that created an autism spectrum diagnosis program, designed to implement evidence-based best practices.  Barack worked with Illinois families to build the Easter Seals academic programs that prepare students for independent living. Moreover, Barack helped pass Illinois’ mental health parity law as a State Senator.  Barack understands that we need universal screening, education and early intervention strategies for all children, but especially children with disabilities. That’s why he intends to provide $10 billion per year in funding for developmental programs serving children between birth and age five. Barack has long supported the Family and Medical Leave Act; as President, he will expand it and help the states create paid leave systems to ease the tough choices that are faced every day by working families providing support to a disabled member.

But there is a second reason that I have faith that a President Obama will fight for people with disabilities, and one that I find more compelling: I have seen Barack Obama with my son and other people with disabilities.  I have seen how he puts his arm on Jori’s shoulder, how he smiles at Jori and speaks to him as the person that he is.  I see his understanding that Jori and every other American with a disability is a fellow child of God with potential worth developing and dignity worth protecting.  I see this and I know that Barack understands why I would do anything to secure real opportunity for that precious child, why any parent in my place would do the same.  I see that Barack Obama comprehends all of that, and he wants to help us get there.  And I know that if we can help Barack Obama to get to the White House, he will do more than any President ever has done to help those of us who love and care for loved ones with disabilities to achieve everything they can achieve.   I know this man.  So does Jori.  And he gives us hope.

Hi there it’s Tuesday again and time for your weekly Aspergers article. There seems to be a little thing called an election featuring quite heavily “over the pond” at the moment! I’ve just watched Barack Obama cast his vote in some school in Chicago live on Sky News here in the UK (oh the wonders of modern technology!) And I just wondered (slightly tongue in cheek) if the candidates are ever tempted to vote for their opponent – just for a joke?

But seriously I would be curious to know who our US (and non-US) readers are rooting for – and why. In particular whether either candidate has any personal or political links with Aspergers or other Autistic Spectrum Disorders. I’ve seen very little debate on any “special needs” issues in what I’ve read in UK papers; but I suspect that some of you in the USA will have your opinions as to which candidate may be more supportive of parents with children who have special needs. So add your comments and thoughts this week – and let’s make this week’s Parenting Aspergers blog a political animal!

That said let’s move swiftly on to this week’s article:

Question

My son is 10 and having difficulty distinguishing bullying from normal, but unwanted, social advances.  I cannot help him with this (there isn’t really a problem, he just cannot tell the difference between being picked on and being asked to join in when he doesn’t want to).  I have always been able to assist in the past and now he is looking to me to do something but…what?  Any and all help would be appreciated.

Answer

Your 10-year-old son might experience anger and resentment if he thinks that he is being bullied.  Also, having Asperger’s Syndrome can result in him disliking or distaining people who he feels do not share his beliefs and interests.  He may be introverted or just not feel like interacting with people at certain times.  He may not confront these situations or may handle them inappropriately because he perceives the language used by others to be provocative or insulting.  An added component to all of this is that, at the age of 10, your son might not be able to explain how he feels about what he perceives to be the motives of others.

In general, here is how we define bullying:  “Persistent and unwanted aggressive behaviour that is directed toward a chosen individual.  This behaviour makes the individual feel uncomfortable, stressed, or hurt.  When bullying behaviour is repeated, it is called harassment.”  So, the difference between bullying and unwanted social interactions is, for the most part, whether the other person is “aggressive” or not (and that could mean physical or verbal aggression).  Your son probably cannot tell the difference between the two as he has difficulty understanding the emotions and intentions of others.

So, you son needs to learn an acceptable way to handle bullying, as well as any other interaction that makes him feel uncomfortable and/or is unwanted, regardless of the intentions of the other person involved.  He needs to find an effective way to communicate without provoking additional unwanted behaviours.

One effective method to help your son is to role play, or ask a trusted friend to role play, with him.  Your son can use “I statements.”  These are statements that tell another individual how he feels.  The statements are not designed to escalate aggressive or unwanted behaviour from the other individual.

Here are some possible “I statements” for your son to use:

“I’m not comfortable right now, and I need to be left alone.  I’m leaving now.”

“I think we can talk about this.  Please sit down and talk with me.”

“I’m not sure what you want from me.  Will you talk with me?”

“Oh, I’m due home now.  Gotta go!”

“It’s been nice talking to you, but I’m busy this afternoon.  See ya later.”

When you are doing role play, give him a couple of these sentences, and practice various situations that might occur.  Then ask him if he can think of some situations he’s been in and use the responses for those situations.

The “I statement” intervention assumes that your son is not being hit, pushed, or otherwise attacked physically.  Please consider meeting with your son’s teacher and the school principal to see what can be done to provide closer supervision for your son while he is on school grounds if this type of situation is occurring.  Outside of school, perhaps some of your son’s friends can be with him to help him in various situations.  The last two “I statements” are probably the best ones to use for gracefully leaving a situation in which he doesn’t want to participate.

Thanks for reading and I hope you get the president that you want if you’re in the States.

Until next week …

Dave Angel

PS – To keep you updated I have now written even more Aspergers articles for the brand new site on topics such as keeping your child safe (e.g. stranger danger, road crossing etc.), coping with boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, puberty, and various sex/sexuality questions.

PPS - Don’t forget to use the “Share This Post” button if you think this article will be helpful to other parents that you know.

Hi everyone I’ve just got back from another nursery visit today; as my quest continues to find a nice place for my daughter. This morning’s visit was much better than last week – lovely staff, plenty of great activities, good health and safety procedures, tidy and clean BUT …

No places are available until April – Doh!! (as the “great” Homer Simpson would say).

Never mind onwards and upwards as they say. And talking of onwards I’m currently in discussion with a web designer out in California to help me design the new Aspergers site – which is going to be much, much better and more interactive than the current site! My aim is to build it into much more of a community where we can all share, learn and develop alongside one another. As well as offering much more support and help than is currently possible. So keep tuned in and like I say I am hoping this will all be ready in January.

This week’s blog post covers the following thorny question …

Question

How should a 14-year-old boy with Asperger’s explain to a neurotypical friend what Asperger’s is?

Answer

Here is a good script for a 14-year-old to follow:  (Notes might be helpful and your son should practice this with you before he talks to a friend.)
“Asperger’s is a form of autism.  When I say autism, I mean that there’s a little difference in how my brain is put together.  It’s probably been there since I was born, and it’s affecting me as I grow up.  What I have is called Asperger’s Syndrome.  The symptoms I have were first seen by a guy named Asperger.  It can affect my language, awareness of my senses, my movements, and emotions.  Asperger’s can’t be cured, but there are things like medications out there that can help me deal with it.  It doesn’t make me weird or wrong or inferior; it’s a different way of experiencing the world that most people don’t understand.”

“You might have heard me say a lot of up front things to people, and that’s one of the differences.  Kids with Asperger’s Syndrome say exactly what they mean without being aware of what can happen.  We might not be aware of the consequences of what we say.  Someone might hear me say something, and they might think I meant something else, or someone might get offended at what I say.  I don’t mean to put people off or offend them, but that’s the way the words come out, and I’m not always aware of how people will react.  On the other hand, some people will see me as being totally honest, but not offensive.  It depends on the person who I’m talking to, but I don’t mean to offend anyone.  I need help in saying things carefully so that I don’t hurt people’s feelings.”

“Another situation I have trouble dealing with is body language.  The way people move or sit can say a lot about how they feel.  Sometimes, I make mistakes when I see other people’s body language.  I can’t get a handle on facial expressions and what they mean.  If I’m talking with someone and they’re being subtle with their body language, I won’t notice it, and I don’t get what they’re saying with their body language.  It can make the other person angry or frustrated or confused, but, with time and some help, I can make myself more aware of what someone means by their body language.”

“Hey, there’s one really huge difference that I go through.  I don’t really care about being cool, and some people think I’m going against a lot of other people, but that’s not what I’m trying to do.  It might make people give me a hard time or think I’m out there, but I’m not.  I just have my own special interests.”

“When I go to a movie and the sound is loud, I don’t like it.  I don’t even want to be in a movie theatre if there’re loud noises or a lot of lights flashing, like in the sci-fi movies.  It makes me just want to go home to get away from it.  Sometimes sounds and lights are so intense that they actually hurt me.”

“But there’s one thing I hope you’ll understand.  Having Asperger’s isn’t all bad.  I’m honest, caring, and really smart.  The doctor said that there’re a lot of really successful people, like doctors, authors, and business people with Asperger’s.  If you want to ask me any questions, I’ll answer them as best I can.”

In addition to using the above script, read the book Asperger’s Download: A Guide to Help Teenage Males with Asperger’s Syndrome Trouble-Shoot Life’s Challenges by Josie and Damian Santomauro.

This book is a terrific resource for adolescents and their parents.  It discusses some of the life passages in young adulthood, and it is written in terms that teenagers find understandable.  It has relevance and authenticity based on the author’s personal experiences, and it can help your son get through his teen years with less interpersonal conflict.

Thanks for reading and enjoy your week,
Dave Angel

Hi there Dave Angel here with a quick update on Sunday. I’ve had a few emails asking me to re-post the social skills article from last month that didn’t work properly. So here it is … If you need any more articles re-posting let me know. Thanks and sorry to intrude on your Sunday, Dave.

Question

I would like to know how to advise my son on social skills, such as making friends without being insulting to others.

Answer

One of the behavioural traits seen in children with Asperger’s Syndrome is a lack of empathy. They don’t realize that other people have thoughts and interests that are different from theirs. They’ll interrupt a conversation and start churning out facts about their pet interest - which could be something like medieval history, Star Wars’ trivia, or math - even if it has nothing to do with what the other children are talking about. This and their lack of other social skills, such as looking others in the eyes when conversing, responding appropriately to greetings and questions, and understanding fads and the interests of peers makes making friends very difficult for Asperger’s children.

With some Asperger’s children, social abilities remain intact or aren’t really noticed until around age eight. It is around this time that their classmates begin perceiving them as “different.” The child is singled out for teasing. In addition, the child may be seen as oppositional because children with Asperger’s Syndrome take words and gestures very literally. Communication with Asperger’s children must be “concrete” (brief and easily understood).

Your son can be taught most of the same social skills that children without Asperger’s learn on their own. You can work with your son’s school to produce cards or posters with facial expressions that define feelings. Also, full-length mirrors can be used to make children aware of their facial expressions and overall body language. You and his teachers can role play social situations with him to help him learn appropriate responses and actions.

Speaking of schools, it is unfortunate that there are few schools fully equipped to help children with Asperger’s Syndrome. The number of schools with diagnostically appropriate services will increase when parents, doctors, and social service practitioners lobby educational institutions for assistance in teaching Asperger’s children.

Until the school provides more assistance with your son, there are a number of things that you can do at home. You can surround your son with friends and family so he will have familiar people around on a consistent basis. If your son is intimidated by a large number of people, just have one friend over at a time.

In addition to friends, you can train your son in appropriate social and perceptual skills. He can learn to perceive and interpret nonverbal behaviors, process visual and auditory information, and become aware of social/behavioural conventions. To help you with teaching your son social skills, you might want to purchase the video productions “Model Me Conversation” and “Model Me Friendship.” Click the link below to access them:

Social Skills

In addition to the above videos, there is a book titled:

Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Understanding and Managing Social Challenges for Those with Aspergers/Autism

written by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron. Both Grandin and Barron are diagnosed as having high-functioning autism, and they have written a book that helps people with Asperger’s Syndrome cope with daily social demands.

To help you help your son, go on the internet and look for Asperger’s Syndrome support groups. Look for a group in your area. If there is none available, there are people who stay in touch via the internet. Whether in person or over the internet, they can give you advice and support which will help you help your son.

Take Care

Dave Angel

Hi there I’ve had a busy Tuesday so far looking for a nursery for my 18 month old daughter (Honey). The first one I saw had a kitchen knife lying on the side (at toddler’s height!), some old takeaway food on plates and a filthy carpet … not exactly what I’m hoping for! The next one seemed way too happy to let me in the building without really checking my credentials – another red flag I’m afraid! So the search continues as I am less than impressed with what I’ve seen so far. Like all parents I know I’ll have to compromise some of my very high standards that I expect – but I still want something pretty good none the less. Anyway let me move swiftly on to this week’s Aspergers blog post which looks at ADHD and Aspergers:

Question

Are there any connections between ADHD children and those with Asperger’s Syndrome?  My child is diagnosed with ADHD, but he seems to cross over a bit with weak social skills and emotional behaviour.  How do you determine what is ADHD and what is Asperger’s?

Answer

The symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Asperger’s Syndrome do mimic one another, and there are some connections between ADHD and Asperger’s.  In fact, there are dual diagnoses of ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome in many cases.  Both of these diagnoses are developmental disorders; they share many of the same behavioural features and both affect children in the areas of behaviour, communication, and social interaction.  As a result, there is often some confusion as to which disorder(s) is present.  Medical, mental health, and educational professionals need to be trained to differentiate between the disorders and diagnose the correct one.

Here is a list of the behaviors seen in Autism/Asperger’s Syndrome and Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder:

Autism / Asperger’s Syndrome

Difficulty interacting with peers
Fearlessness; feelings of invincibility
Temper tantrums without provocation
Inappropriate laughter
Resistant to intimacy
Physical over-activity or lack of physical activity
Minimal eye contact
Impulsive work effort that results in mistakes
Inconsistent fine motor skills

Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Disruptive with others; cannot talk or play quietly
Impatient; does not want to wait
Risk taker; willingly becomes involved in potentially dangerous activities
Exhibits severe temper tantrums
Interrupts others; talks and/or acts inappropriately
Resistant to intimacy during younger years
Constantly active
Inattentive; has difficulty listening or conversing
Avoids attending to details; makes mistakes in work activities.

Both ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome

Problems with gross/fine motor skills
Behaviour driven by impulses
Difficulty with appropriate emotional responses.

As you may already know I’ve written a resource guide for parents of child with ADHD which is still available at www.parentingadhd.com So this knowledge of the diagnostic differences, along with the information provided in The Parenting ADHD Resource Guide, will help you differentiate between symptoms of ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome.

That’s all for the week and have a great day,

Dave Angel

PS – Just to let you know that the new Aspergers website is progressing along well and I’ve been putting together loads more information on topics such as college aged children, the effectiveness of therapies, helping your child to choose the “right” type of friends and how to support your child to cope with varied social situations. Keep watching this space for more details…!

This is Dave Angel.  Welcome to the twenty-fourth edition
of “The Parenting Autism & Aspergers Newsletter”…

Inside this edition you will find:

1. Hot Topic of Discussion - Autism a Hot Topic in Canadian
Federal Election

2. In the News – Second Life Offers Aid for Aspergers
ABC News,  Jan 16, 2008

3. Parenting Tips - Parenting a Child with Asperger Syndrome:
200 Tips and Strategies

4. Prominent People Linked with ASD - Albert Einstein, Scientist

Thanks

Dave

————————————————————

1. Hot Topic of Discussion -

Autism a Hot Topic in Canadian Federal Election

This fall, the Canadian federal election may become a battleground for
autism funding. Many Canadian parents are furious at the lack of services
for autistic children and are demanding that legislators make changes.
A fight between parents of autistic children and Canadian provincial
governments over funding for autim therapy may be addressed in the
federal election.

Medicare for Autism Now, an activist group, has developed a campaign
called “The Two Percent Solution.” The campaign targets the reelection
of federal Minister of Health Tony Clement and other incumbents who won
seats in the last election by less than two per cent. The campaign will
demand that they support Canada Health Act coverage for autism treatment and full funding for intensive one-to-one therapies or face non-election.

Many Canadian families with autistic children struggle financially to
provide their children with therapies that are only partly funded by the
provincial governments. “The responsibility for delivering health services
in Canada rests with the provinces and territories and it is at that level
that the issue must be addressed. The Canada Health Act (CHA) requires
provinces and territories to provide coverage for medically necessary hospital and physician services. The Act does not deal with individual medical conditions. Services provided outside of hospitals, or by health professionals other than physicians, are not insured health services under the CHA. Canada’s Government has already begun to address the issues that individuals with ASD and their families are facing,” states Jean Lewis of Medicare for Autism Now.

A 2004 Ipsos-Reid poll showed that 89% of Canadians support medicare coverage for autism treatment. Some provinces like New Brunswick provide families with up to $20,000 per year in funding for autism treatment until a child is six. After that, funding falls to a maximum payment of $6,000. Autism treatment
funding varies widely in Canada; Alberta and Newfoundland pay $40,000 a year, Saskatchewan $25,000, Manitoba $6,000, New Brunswick pays up to $20,000.

The governments’ rationale for the reduction in funding when children reach school age, is that the schools receive an extra $16,000 per year for each student on the autism spectrum. Parents claim that schools do not do enough to treat the students and the responsibility for further treatment falls heavily on parents.

It will be very interesting to see what happens in the fall election regarding this issue.

To read the full article please go to: http://www.autismspot.com/news/Autism-a-Hot-Topic-Canadian-Federal-Election and http://thetyee.ca/News/2008/09/01/Autism/

People mentioned as having Asperger Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with it.

———————————————————–

2. In the News – Second Life Offers Aid for Aspergers
ABC News, Jan 16, 2008

Young people with Aspergers syndrome, who have difficulty picking up social cues, are getting help from the virtual world “Second Life,” ABC News reports. Researchers have found that Second Life, in which users communicate with others by creating an online avatar (an online persona represented in picture form), is more effective than other therapies for helping “Aspies” learn how to handle social situations, such as asking another avatar out on a date or requesting a raise from a boss avatar.

Researchers believe that these exercises in the virtual world feel more real than when Aspies role-play with a therapist, and, for that reason, are more effective and enjoyable. It remains to be seen if Aspies, who can be inflexible, will be able to use the skills they learn online in the real world. Many Aspies love using computers, which is definitely a positive in this situation. But, a negative may be that they will feel more comfortable in the virtual world and be unwilling to use their skills in the real one.

To read the article go to: http://www.newser.com/tag/18241/1/aspergers-syndrome.html

People mentioned above as having Asperger Syndrome may or may not
have actually have been diagnosed with it.

————————————————————-

3. Parenting Tips -  We are running short on parents tips so
if you have anything you’d like to share please add them on
the blog at:

http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/parenting-tips-wanted/

I have an excellent quick homework tip from Karen in
Sydney, Australia this week:

In reference to homework - my son has been diagnosed with
Aspergers this year and is in kindergarten. Homework was a
real nightmare in the afternoons, so we now set aside some
time after a healthy breakfast. I also copy the homework
assignment so that my younger son can join in as well and
make it a family time. It seems to work because my son is
fresher in the morning. I might try adding some classical
music as well to see how it goes!

Remember you can post your tips at:

http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/parenting-tips-wanted/

————————————————————

4. Prominent People Linked with ASD - Albert Einstein,
Scientist

Albert Einstein, who was born in 1879 and died in 1955, was an American theoretical physicist often rumored to have had either autism or Aspergers Syndrome.  He was born in Germany of Jewish background and won the Nobel Prize in physics in 1921.  He made many contributions to science including the theory of relativity and held strong political opinions, but never joined a political party, even after moving to the US as an adult. Einstein had very delayed speech development as a child, narrowly-focused interests from childhood on, and ignored school subjects that did not interest him.  He would repeat sentences endlessly as a child. He was not popular with other children and disliked by teachers. However, Einstein apparently had a good sense of humor. Einstein’s first wife Mileva, a mathematician, also had a brilliant mind and together they had three children, one illegitimate daughter, one son who became an engineering professor, and another who was institutionalized as a schizophrenic. Einstein worked on the Manhattan Project which eventually developed the atom bomb, used at the end of WWII. Einstein’s brain was preserved after his death and has been carefully studied by scientists. They found that some parts of his brain were more developed than normal and others less so. They also found more glial cells (important for nerve signal transmission) in parts of his brain.
To see the full text of the articles go to: http://rarediseases.about.com/cs/aspergersyndrome/a/041003.htm,
http://inventors.about.com/library/inventors/bleinstein.htm and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein’s_brain

Einstein may have had Aspergers Syndrome, but was never formally diagnosed.
————————————————————-

I hope the information in this month’s newsletter was valuable
to you.

The next edition of the newsletter is due in November.

And as ever … please send in any inspirational stories
that you know of, any questions that you would like our team
of experts to answer, any topics that you wish to be discussed
and news stories that you want to share VIA THE BLOG.

We will publish as many as we can.

Until next month………

Best Wishes

Dave Angel