Explaining Aspergers to family members
Hi there and welcome to this week’s Aspergers blog post; coming up below …
Just a quick reminder first of the 25% off offer for The Parenting Aspergers Volume 2 which is available for several days more at http://parentingaspergers.com/thankyouoffer.html
Here’s this week’s article …
Question
Where can I get help in dealing with my own feelings and the reactions of others, especially family members?
Answer
The biggest step a parent has to take after the diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome is acknowledgement and acceptance. As hard as it sounds right now, you have to accept the diagnosis and move on.
It helps if your family is supportive and understanding, but this isn’t always the case. Your child appears normal and intelligent (which he is) so his behavior draws unwanted attention and unwarranted remarks from the people you love. Honestly, sometimes you cannot be sure if his behavior is deliberate or not. Here are some suggestions on how to deal with the issues that Asperger’s brings into your life.
Come to terms with the Asperger’s Syndrome diagnosis
It is what it is. Think of your child’s diagnosis as information. Your child is the same child he was before the diagnosis. Now you have an explanation for his weaknesses and even some of his strengths. Keep a positive attitude by focusing on the strengths.
Educate yourself and your family about Asperger’s Syndrome
You must learn all you can about Asperger’s. There are many books available written by professionals and by parents of children with Asperger’s. For example, “Embarrassed Often…Ashamed Never” by Lisa Elliott is an encouraging and often humorous glimpse into her life as the parent of a child with Asperger’s Syndrome. This is a great choice for parents and family members of a child with Asperger’s.
Find local Asperger’s Syndrome support groups
Connect with local families who have been where you are in the process. These families know firsthand what it’s like to live with Asperger’s. It is comforting and powerful to be with others who are on the same journey. These support groups can help you find treatment resources in your area, community events for your family to attend, and more.
Seek individual and family counseling
Asperger’s brings an added risk of anxiety and depression. Your child will benefit from counseling. While seeking a counselor for your child, consider finding a family counselor. You are all affected emotionally be this diagnosis. Individual and family therapy can help you work through the rough spots that will come.
Keep a check on your physical well-being
Regular medical care is necessary since stress can cause physical illness. Your well-being is necessary in order to care for your family. Allow time for yourself and your hobbies. Plan regular outings and just be a family. Asperger’s shouldn’t control your life.
Don’t let the cynics get you down. You can’t stop people from reacting negatively to your child, but you can stop responding to their negativity. If they miss the joy of knowing your child, that is their problem.
Have a great day,
Dave Angel
PS – Don’t forget the current Aspergers Volume 2 special offer at http://parentingaspergers.com/thankyouoffer.html
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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community
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My 9-year-old son is having problems in Physical Education Class at school. His teachers don’t know what or how to cope with him when he starts to run away, and doesn’t want to do what the rest of the class is doing in P.E. What suggestions can I give them on how to deal with him in that class?
Physical education class can be a very frustrating experience for a child with Asperger’s. Gyms can be loud and overwhelming, with lots of activity going on. Often, there is music and people talking and shouting. These are all very normal behaviors, but they can be overwhelming for your son and he can feel very out of control in that atmosphere. One way to try to help you son deal with physical education class is to … To read the full article go to: -
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/328.cfm
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Can children with Aspergers have some of the characteristics of Aspergers and not others?
The short answer to your question is that yes, many children will exhibit some symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome and not others. Many children will have Asperger’s compounded by other factors, such as ADD or ADHD, which can intensify some symptoms of Asperger’s as well as to add additional symptoms. While it is impossible to say that there is a set of symptoms all children with Asperger’s exhibit, there are a few cores symptoms that most children with Asperger’s will present … To read the full article go to: -
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/327.cfm
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Is it possible to have varying degrees of the Syndrome and is it possible to grow out of it a bit and mature? Some mild, some middle and some severe cases?
There are varying degrees of Asperger’s Syndrome. The symptoms vary from person to person and the degree to which the symptoms affect the person can vary as well. Consequently, it is very difficult to pinpoint a set of Asperger’s behaviors that all children with Asperger’s will exhibit. It is not possible to grow out of Asperger’s Syndrome. It is possible, however to … To read the full article go to: -
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/326.cfm
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hi Dave
it seems quite brutal to say ‘accept the diagnosis’ – do you have children with Aspergers syndrome – its a tough one with a lot of feeling and grief!!! as well as joy and relief!
Comment by jo — September 27, 2009 @ 1:58 am
Not sure if our 11 yr old d’ter has mild aspergers. She has difficulty forming relationships & making/keeping friends, lacks awareness in social settings and shows other signs such as ability to construct/replicate detail quite advanced for her age. Not sure whether to persue having her assessed and if she does get a definate diagnosis, could this end up being harmful to her in the future (ie on her health records/affect getting jobs/place at uni). Keen for as much help from services to help us help her through life but don’t want her getting a label for something which may be very mild.
Comment by Kathy — October 13, 2009 @ 10:20 am