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Helping your child’s teacher to understand your child with Aspergers

Filed under:Aspergers Education — posted by admin on December 14, 2007 @ 4:50 am

Hi – and welcome to the first post on the Parenting Aspergers Blog.

I strongly recommend that you read the section on the blog called “How To Use This Blog” in order to understand fully how best to benefit from this blog.

By the time your child reaches the age where he or she is going to school, you’ll have several years of experience figuring out what works and what doesn’t work in managing your Aspergers syndrome child.

While your child’s teacher understands the fundamentals of teaching, he or she will be lacking in crucial information about your child and what works best in certain circumstances. This means that you have information to share with the teacher, and the time to do that is before or very near the time the child enters the classroom.You’ll want to share information on your child’s diagnosis and his or her normal level of functioning. If your child has a normal or above normal IQ, tell the teacher that your child has the cognitive ability to succeed under the right circumstances. Talk about visual learning and the fact that children with Asperger’s syndrome learn through pictures and are less likely to learn through auditory awareness or through letters and words.

You’ll also want to talk to the teacher about those things that set your child off, including any obsessions or compulsive behavior your child exhibits. If your child still has temper tantrums, talk about how to manage them and how to avoid them, if possible.

Tell your child’s teacher that you can be available as a resource for the teacher. Try to have a phone number at which you can be reached for any impromptu issues that arise during the course of the day. Make a deal with the teacher that allows you to attend class on the first few days of the school year or when things get difficult. Not only will that help your child adjust to school, it will aid the teacher in the process of getting to know your child.

Maintain that teacher-parent alliance throughout the school year in order to have the best chance of your child learning and thriving within the structure of the classroom.

This is just one of the many tips and techniques for helping your Asperger’s child that features in the book “The Parenting Asperger’s Resource Guide”. Which you can learn more about by visiting www.parentingaspergers.com/

comments (84)

84 comments »

  1. teachers dont understand children with special needs they all need to learn more about special needs children and how their disabilities affect them.

    Comment by louise conlon — December 24, 2007 @ 7:33 am

  2. My 17 year old son was diagnosed with Pdd at age 5 he’s been through alot through the years.I find that autistic children are descriminated against because of age .I mean once a child reaches 17 there is not much to offer them which is so unfair as to me these special children do still have the mind of a child in one way or another.
    I feel also that teachers should have a better understanding about Autisum especially when it comes to dictating information to them and expect them to remember it,i feel teachers should have better communication with parents so they know how their child is doing be it through a monthly journal or phone call.
    we moved to British Columbia in July and last week was the first time I actually think i’m getting somewhere in regards to funding and programs available to him.

    Comment by Heather — December 24, 2007 @ 9:36 am

  3. teachers should have a better understanding about Autisum

    Comment by Liz — December 24, 2007 @ 11:12 am

  4. I am so thankful for the time and information that you give on this web-sight!! It seems like everytime I go through something with my AS child I get a e-mail from you giving advice about the very subject I need help with….I recently had an incident with someone at his school and here this is….THANK YOU and Merry Christmas!!

    Comment by Ollire Sealie — December 24, 2007 @ 11:57 am

  5. I think that teachers need proper training and that these children need people who will treat them right, adn treat them like any other child on this earth!

    Comment by Ann-Marie — December 24, 2007 @ 2:08 pm

  6. I think it time the education department started to offer more funding to train teachers and offer more one on one help in classrooms.

    Comment by Janet Corrie — December 24, 2007 @ 11:48 pm

  7. I am a therapist who works with children who have been physically, emotionally and sexually abused 90pct of the times by their own parents. It has only been recently that it has been legally outlawed for women to be abused , I am just wondering how many years it will take for the same right to be given to children. I just want to say to these people who do abused children, children grow up and they come to haunt us one way or another .

    Comment by Christina Mandilaras — December 25, 2007 @ 1:23 am

  8. 1. A heartfelt thank you to Dave and team for this exceptional resource.
    2. As parents of a young Asperger’s child, we found that researching, and communicating as much as possible with those coming into regular contact with our young student is priceless.
    3. In our specific case, working with the teachers AND classroom helpers well in advance of the start of school, and designating “key words” and a specific “quiet place routine” have helped keep a balance between class integration and sensory overload for the student.
    4. Last but not least, NUTRITIONAL issues are not to be overlooked. It is critical that the teachers and helpers know if a certain food triggers symptoms – it is not uncommon where we live for “treats” to be given to the young students, but in our son’s case, we must be careful to avoid certain foods.
    5. Tony Attwood has written several books that can be included in recommended reading.
    Hope that helps someone out there! 🙂

    Comment by Saskia — December 25, 2007 @ 4:01 am

  9. i have a grandson with aspergers and adhd all the teachers have no clue . I ts time training for teachers is mandatory. hes smart so they pass it on like it doesnt exist . he is picked on badly and gets mad when all that is said is keep your hands to your self by the teachers when he tells how they push punched and name calling to him

    Comment by cathy dubois — December 25, 2007 @ 11:48 am

  10. Thank you, Im so glad there are people ,looking out for children with special inabilities such as ours…

    Comment by Cliff Campbell — December 25, 2007 @ 2:39 pm

  11. My son has Aspergers and I worry about children picking on him and making him do things because he wouldn’t know the difference between right and wrong…never thought I would see the day when it was teachers!!!!! Obviously if a teacher can not handle a child that has a disability they SHOULD NOT BE A TEACHER!!!! This is very upsetting for me.

    Comment by Kimberly Hill — December 26, 2007 @ 10:55 am

  12. ADAP of Al was barely any help when my son was taken from me and placed in inappropriate “SafetyNet Academy” where kids were
    beaten.Even the therapy horses were starved. ADAP did little to get him out of there and enforce the RC code which would have prohibited placement in that place. However he did save two kids cause he tells the truth. He survived with brain damage and PTSD. When you have time to address
    the tantrums you really have to repeat and repeat the things the child can do. Refocusing helps(we had the collections available which we had to re-collect after he returned as they were all stolen a “SAfetyNet” in Al.)A knock on the door can help, a phone ringing or some sort of interruption helps really. Let them see what they are doing so they can get an idea. Of course it can change as they grow and it does. My now 16yr. old has a mentor to take him places so I get a break. The physical discomforts really are intolerable for these guys…clothing etc. Pools are great and calming. Use the same color t-shirts, same jacket as long as possible. It is really no big deal. GEt rest and avoid conflicts of any sort. It is still hard for the child to make decisions so you have to take the lead. My kid still says “I have to do my hygeine now.” Every morning he says this.

    Comment by Caroline Saddy — December 26, 2007 @ 1:54 pm

  13. I once asked about training and how much training teachers get in speacail needs i was told less than 3 week as we all know it takes alot longer to learn and we are on the front line as parents and ever day we learn .

    My son school comment was we treat all kids the same Hmmm well thats fine in my book as long as you take in to account that all kids are different and have there own ways My son Hates Red ( xmas is a nighmare ) they wanted him too wear a red hat he had nighmares on nighmares in end i went in too school and asked about why it was so inportant quote so they will all look the same in school play ¬ It stop that day ¬ ever child is different and we all know thats hard too understand at times but a little bit of understanding goes along way ..

    Comment by Chelle — December 26, 2007 @ 7:27 pm

  14. After 6 years of waiting our son was diagnosed with AS & secondary ADHD-we receive resource teaching but the Irish system of allocating Special Needs Assistants seems to be in line with other countries-unfortunately, this is hard to accept considering one of Ireland’s TOP consultants strongly recommended my son receive SNA-yet some idiot who has no idea of how much my son needs this help has decided he does not qualtiy – don’t worry I’m not finished with them just yet.My family and friends are now aware of my son’s condition and have been very supportive.So to everyone out there you are not alone and keep pushing for our children’s rights

    Comment by Lindy — December 27, 2007 @ 7:04 pm

  15. i have a son who has aspergers and a daughter with adhd and life does get tough! Nevertheless, we treat them as equally as our other son.
    There has to be greater need for awareness and effective teaching methods at school level, I have had on going problems in this regard with teachers.

    Comment by Pingla parusnath — December 28, 2007 @ 3:49 am

  16. I have a son of 20 with Aspergers we live on a small island small minds as well my sons bullying was started by a teacher in his reception class at primary school he is now a recluse at home although very academic so lonely and at times suicidal I can say with all my hearts 2 teachers one teacher when he was five and one teacher when he was 15 took his life away everyday is sad and lnely for my beautiful son if only teachers could be reprimanded but you just get the label of over protective parent I wish I knew the answer desperate single parent I hope this can make a difference

    Comment by michelle yuill — December 28, 2007 @ 5:07 am

  17. I spent the first 7 years trying to make ‘professionals’ understand that my dear Asperger’s grandson was being abused by their policies. He is now in high school and starting to develop a positive self image and go through his day with a smile but the damage done will always be there,–as with all child abuse.

    Comment by Diane Maki — December 28, 2007 @ 1:28 pm

  18. This website has been fantastic for me as I have 2 children on the autistic spectrum. It is so hard in Ireland to get any help Dave Angel has been a fountain of Information.

    Comment by Sarah O Sullivan — December 28, 2007 @ 6:12 pm

  19. Thanks Dave Angel for your help and understanding. Rea

    Comment by Rea Ottinger — December 29, 2007 @ 2:56 pm

  20. I have a nephew who is now 4 years old and he has autism and he is one of the smartest boys i have ever known he is no different to me then any other child yes at times it can be very hard but you learn just like the child you go as it comes i have learned alot from my sister about autism and i would love to work with children just like my nephew they are special and very smart he picks up things i say and he repeats it i love it..his teachers are amazing…when we first found out that he had autism i though that it wouldnt be cause he was walkin and talking when he should have been i didnt find anything different then he got silent and was mute but now holy he wont stop talking hes my little motormouth i love him so much …i dont spend as much time with him as i used to but when i do he just loves me…but im glad i got a chance to share my love of my special nephew he means the world to me…
    Love auntie christina love you boy !!!

    Comment by Christina — December 29, 2007 @ 3:13 pm

  21. I have an eight year old son with asperger syndrome and all your information help. Public schools need to be trained on how to handle an autistic spectrum child.

    Comment by Kris Walker — December 30, 2007 @ 5:36 pm

  22. My son has aspergers and went thru hell in school he came home with bruises on his arms and legs and was treated like an animal. I pulled him from school and homeschooled him and got the help he needed to try and get past this i reported this to the state but nothing was done about this because i feel it had somthing to do with his disability. I did fight my school district later and won in court for my son to go to a questar program and he loves it and they do such great work and he can finally get a hug from a teacher with out trying to hide. I say if you have to fight then fight children have a right to get an education and to get the help they need to be sucessful in life.

    Truly,
    Stephanie K

    Comment by stephanie krzykowski — January 1, 2008 @ 6:01 pm

  23. My son attended public school for kindergarten and first grade and adapted relatively well, once he got used to the routine. When our family moved in his second grade year, however, the change was really hard. His new school does not allow parents to be in the classroom, and the officials were not very cooperative. He was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, but I personally feel he fits the category of Aspergers. He scores in the 5th grade level at age 8. During the second grade term, He managed to leave campus unattended, be picked up by the police, put in the back of the police car, and by the time I got to the school they had him handcuffed and shackled and face down on a sofa in the principal’s office. I have been told that “there is nothing wrong with him that a good spanking wouldn’t fix”, “you need to BREAK him now”, and “one night in Jail would take care of this”. Again, my son is 8 years old!! He is currently home schooling, and excelling at it. However, I do worry that he is not getting enough social interaction with children his own age, and I wonder if he will ever function in a group situation. Meanwhile, his sister attends school here with no problems. I guess she fits in “the box” a little better.

    Comment by Tracy H — January 2, 2008 @ 1:38 pm

  24. OMG! i couldn’t believe what i had read! protect the children and that means ALL CHILDREN! This is not right! how would they like to be treated like that! omg!

    Comment by Dana Brooks — January 2, 2008 @ 5:57 pm

  25. my 5 years old son is autistic. his disability made me feel more for other children with disabilities as well as for their parents. thanks Dave for all the support you provide for us. i believe that children with disabilities are to be treated as “normal” children at school. they also can feel and they know if they are loved or not. i always assure my boy that i love him and that his mum will always stand by him. and i know that he could feel that.

    Comment by criselda — January 3, 2008 @ 2:49 am

  26. my son dislikes recess at school and would rather serve a time out in his classroom than play outside with other children he just turned 9 and he is always angry and distracted because of the way kids treat him he’s very unhappy and i’m trying my hardest to get his self esteem better for him there is alot of encouragement to give a child with asperger’s syndrom

    Comment by Holly — January 9, 2008 @ 1:43 am

  27. Oh, to be so lucky as to inform my child’s teachers and school system about his autism needs and, bingo, most problems solved.
    In my child’s school system, I have documented proof of school system child abuse, have been forced to contact my state to investigate many times, (all they give the school employees is a slap on the wrist), have been forced to go over the heads of my local ISD, and am now in the process of contacting an attorney. I could go straight to the local prosecuting attorney, but a teacher from another school system in this county got away with abusing another child, even after going to court. So much for getting a fair trial in this community…

    Comment by Elaira — January 11, 2008 @ 4:25 pm

  28. i have a 9 year old son w/ as, he is attending a middle school. the school has him in a se. classroom. the teacher for this class isn’t trained to handle children with as, they have suspended him 8 times without calling a manifestation determination meeting, they would much rather push him away then making his school experience a pleasurable one. my son is to the point he has quit trying.
    if you have some advice for me please feel free to help.

    thank you so much

    Comment by samantha — January 14, 2008 @ 4:44 pm

  29. Reading the comments on this blog is both heart wrenching and inspiring. My 9 year old son is yet to be diagnosed, but is a text book case of Asperger Syndrome. Yet to be diagnosed because the “professionals” don’t understand it. He has been diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder, and get this… because he has anxiety our “professional” says he cannot have Aspergers since, according to him, the two NEVER occur together. The behavior specialist from the school says he cannot have AS because he is too intelligent… I know I have been labelled as over protective of a manipulative child in the eyes of the school and I don’t give a damn. It is my JOB to protect my child! My son is having a very successful year in school because we went around the school personnel and went to the children. My son wrote a letter to his classmates and their parents. He asked for understanding – and guess what… he got it. He has a “team” of classmates who have been absolutely amazing in supporting him. I highly recommend that children with AS tell their classmates – perhaps with the help of a parent. Kids can be cruel, but they can also be amazing when given the chance.

    Comment by Karen Weir — January 19, 2008 @ 9:06 pm

  30. In response to #79
    My son also has AS and is almost 10. He was diagnosed at age 8. I too was told that he had anxiety disorder, OCD, and ADHD. I took him to a pediatrician that was recommended to me by a friend and within 15 minutes of listening to me name off his symptoms and observing him, she suggested that we get him evaluated at an autism clinic. I would look for a young pediatrician new out of med school. They seem to be more aware of AS and spectrum disorders.
    As for school, I have actually had fairly good luck with teachers. It is the principal that we have had problems with. He has actually told me that my son should need no assistance because “he is smart enough to figure out how to behave.” I tried to explain that his intelligence level had nothing to do with his anxiety attacks and social delays, but he was not convinced. Luckily, we have a great IEP team and we just work around the principal.
    Another thing that has worked great with my son is going into the school the week before school starts to help out his teachers get the classrooms ready. We start with just an hour or two and work up to him being there more so it is not such a shock when school starts. This lets him get to know his teacher in a more relaxed environment. He also got to decide where he wanted to sit in the classroom, which gave him a little more control of the situation.

    Comment by Sarah — February 24, 2008 @ 5:13 am

  31. I must agree with number 5. We have found it best to go to the speical ed. inclusion faciliator for the public school (our mainstream teachers here don’t have time)

    Though the visual supports help a lot, we have found equally important the following,
    Social Stories and comic stripping to understand the social dynamics and the rules of school, Time for our Aspie to process what they are saying (eventhough they are not aware always of difficulty processing, the mainstreamed classroom is over the top in transitions and stimulation), self-regulation chart (like the “just right engine”) and for our son’s hardest challenge FINE MOTOR, a visual, impromptu count down 5,4,3,2,1 of what he has to do, how many does he have to do and when is he done…then reward.

    Fundamentally, the team needs to look at each part of the curriculum and ask, what is everybody doing, can the Aspie do like everyone else, if no what can we do to include him (help from friends, different materials, using the materials differently, can an adult offer help, or what else can the Aspie do that is related to that project or assignment?)

    Comment by Sallie — March 16, 2008 @ 6:47 pm

  32. Thanks to everyone for the info. it has been very helpful!

    Comment by Tammy — May 21, 2008 @ 5:07 pm

  33. I am an adult who was wrongly diogonised with Schizophrenia. 40 years later I was told that “Lack of sleep” was the reason why I have schizophrenia. So I took my bicycle to Western Australia and rode some 2,000 klm and got fit and well. I then spent about a month in Adelaide. When I was about to return home, I went to obtain my medication from the Chemist. It was not ready so I left with out it and said I would see my doctor when I got home. I told my doctor that I was completely off all of my medication for a whole week. I refused to accept the scripps from him. Later with a letter from a female Doctor at Albany, I completed over 1,000 klm bike riding to Perth and Fremantle. Later in Brisbane my cousin a nurse took me to a Chinese Doctor who sent me to have my damaged Heart (Accident 1947) seen to. I had open Heart Surgery at Royal Melbourne later in 2002. My female Doctor friend told me “Asperger’s Syndrome”

    Comment by Charles Lawlor Collie — January 23, 2011 @ 6:02 am

  34. I am helping UNIQUE a french Teacher of autism classes in Cameroun

    Comment by Charles Lawlor Collie — January 23, 2011 @ 6:04 am

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