How can I explain Aspergers to family and friends?
Hi there – this week’s Aspergers articles looks at explaining Aspergers to other people. The new web project is now coming along well and one thing I noticed whilst researching new articles is that there are a lot more subscribers with daughters than I realised. Despite Aspergers being a largely male diagnosis (statistically at least) there are a lot of you parents with female aspies. So I’m going to work hard at covering this more on the new site. Here’s this week’s article:
Question
My 11 year old son has just been diagnosed with Asperger’s, and I’d like to know what to tell friends, neighbours, teachers, and extended family to help them understand his behaviour.
Answer
Asperger’s Syndrome was first noticed in 1944, and it was first seen in children that had been diagnosed with autistic personality disorder. A researcher by the name of Asperger worked with children and saw that they exhibited delays in social maturity, social reasoning, and social abilities. He found verbal- and non-verbal impairments in communication, especially when the children attempted to converse. Asperger also observed that the children had difficulties controlling emotions, but they could intellectualize their feelings.
Further research by Asperger found that the children became preoccupied with various interests and these would dominate their thought processes. Asperger also found that some of the children were having learning problems, difficulty with coordination, and that they exhibited a marked sensitivity to certain smells, sounds, and textures.
You can start sharing information by giving friends and relatives an introduction to Asperger’s Syndrome using the above paragraphs. This will provide them with some history and context. Sharing information on any illness or diagnosis requires tact and discretion. You might want to tell the people in your life on a “need-to-know” basis.
It is very important to stress that a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome does not make your child “weird” or inferior. Make sure you stress the positive elements that can be found in people with Asperger’s Syndrome. There are actors, authors, researchers, and scientists who have been diagnosed with Asperger’s, and they have achieved seemingly insurmountable life goals. When your friends and relatives are aware of these facts, it will help dispel the mystery and confusion that surrounds Asperger’s.
When you discuss Asperger’s Syndrome with children, you can use classroom materials that have been developed to assist children in understanding this diagnosis. Go on the internet to a company called AAPC and you will find several books about Asperger’s. Also, look for a local group that helps people and their relatives cope with Asperger’s Syndrome.
One highly recommended book is Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals by Tony Attwood. Mr. Attwood is a leading expert on Asperger’s Syndrome, and his book provides a wealth of information that you can use as discussion topics.
After you have shared some of the above information, ask the person/people you are talking with if they have any questions or concerns about anything that you have discussed. Let them know that any question or concern they may have is valid, and you are not going to be offended by their inquiries. Not only will this ease communications, it will prove you to be a mature, open-minded individual who loves your child and cares about friends and family.
Thanks and have a great day
Dave Angel
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My 3rd grader’s teacher wants the school guidance counselor to put on a presentation for his classmates to help them better understand why he acts so strangely. She belives doing so will generate empathy among his peers, rather than them viewing him as a “weirdo”. I have mixed feelings about this and do not think it is fair to “label” him. Should I allow the school to go forward with this?
Comment by Lisa Johnson — September 2, 2008 @ 1:41 pm
I wouldn’t do it. It isn’t fair for him. And as for the children watching I think they will forever have the snapshot of his behavior at this point in time.
Comment by susan — September 2, 2008 @ 2:16 pm
I do have mixed feelings about presentation to single out a child. My son was in 4th grade when he was diagnosed. His class mates new he was a little diffrent; however, many of his class mates would stand up for his if someone would pick on his at recess. Others would help him with his work.
Comment by RONNIE — September 2, 2008 @ 2:16 pm
Hell No! I can’t express it strongly enough. Please don’t put your child through that! What the school officials can do is send out information pamphlets/brochures talking about “what Asperger’s is” along with a letter, encouraging the other parents to talk to their children about it. That way, your child can remain anonymous and his/her self esteem stays intact! Hope that helps. I welcome your response.
Comment by Melissa Mercedes-Hickman — September 2, 2008 @ 2:21 pm
My 13 year old son has been mainstreamed in school and has a paraprofessional to help.however,there are still many teachers who assume incorrectly that he does not try because he does not fit the description of someone autistic.
Comment by erica plante — September 2, 2008 @ 2:28 pm
My son went to Middle School last year. He is 13 now, and going into 7th grade. About 2-3 weeks in to 6th grade, I spoke with his teacher about some “issues” he was having. Kids making noise around him, his agenda cover hzd a ribbed cover on it, and if someone rubbed their fingernails over it, it sent Sam into orbit. So, I asked his teacher if she wanted me to come in and talk to the class about Asperger’s. I did, and it really helped. I found that if you give kids information, they will rise to the occasion. He still had some problems with one kids in his class, but for the most part, my talking to the kids really helped. I had a question and answer segment, and many of the kids knew about Autism,and some knew about AS.
so far so good this year. I think that 4th graders have the capacity to understand. Most of the kids my son went to school with, had been with him since kindergarden, so they were used to him. but in Middle School, there were a whole new bunch of kids who did not know him at all, so that is why I went in to talk to them, it worked out very well. Thanks, Sue
Comment by Sue Orr — September 2, 2008 @ 2:33 pm
I say go for it, education is the key here. These kids will “grow” through lower grades and high school with your child, it will be a great investment to educate this peer group. Be thank ful that you have the support of teachers that care and see the benefit of doing this for your child. I would suggest that your child be involved in the script writting of this presentation or be part of the question and answers sessions so it is a positive experience. Children can be cruel, but mostly they are cruel when they don’t understand or are freightened by the mood swings and aggressions. Children will label your child reqardless if you consent to this presentation or not… like the child that is too heavy, or wears glasses or is a freak for being so tall, children label, let’s educate then with the right “label” Good luck, and God bless.
Comment by Cathy — September 2, 2008 @ 2:46 pm
I THINK WERE GETTING SOMEWHERE!!! MY DAUGHTER IS HIGH FUNCTIONING AND ARE COMMERCIAL WILL BE OUT IN A FEW WEEKS,ITS CALLED IS IT ME? ITS ABOUT COMING OUT! TEACHING TEACHERES,CHILDREN AND BEING WHO THEY ARE. BUDDING THEM UP AND LIFTING THEM UP. BULLING IS A HATE CRIME AND SHOULD NOT BE TOLERATED.
Comment by Patty — September 2, 2008 @ 2:54 pm
This topic was covered in a recent conference I attended near Pittsburgh PA by Dr. Jed Baker. You may find more info in his resources. I have enjoyed his books very much. According to my notes… They start peer sensitivity training in Kindergarten in the NJ school systems where he consults. Depending on the grade level, they tailor it to suit the age. I seem to recall one way they conducted this training with very young children was in a way that did not identify the particular student, noting differences between all children whether it’s hair color, $$, neighborhood they live in, clothing, etc. Everyone is different in some way.
Another approach he mentioned was to have the AS child not be present and talk to the classmates. Introduce the reason for the meeting - I’m here to talk to you about _____. Ask them, What types of things bug you about ______? Explain why he does that and how their responses affect him. How can they react differently. Talk about famous people with social blindness. Dr. Baker said this process can create friendly behavior, but not necessarily friends. At least they would not be as hostile.
It’s important that the teachers and aides who work with the children follow through and teach by example as well.
Hope this helps!
Ronda Whitford
Mom of Shawn, age 13 AS
rondawhitford@yahoo.com
Comment by Ronda Whitford — September 2, 2008 @ 4:24 pm
I have started speaking to my child’s teachers over the phone regarding my 11 year old son’s AS. One teacher mentioned trying a gluten-free diet. Have you ever heard that a diet free in gluten would make a difference in the behavior of Aspergers?
Comment by Nara — September 2, 2008 @ 4:40 pm
My son is 16 and has no real friends his own age. He can make friends with older folks and with the real young. I remember when he was in an integrated 5th grade class and they had to make a presentation to the Kindergarden. He had so much fun and the little ones loved him. He’s suffering now in HS because he feels isolated from most and yet he defends them as friends. They don’t get him and even his own brother hopes to bend him by trying to make him aware that he doesn’t do the normal thing. Kids his age just seem to have no heart. I have a feeling it only gets better for him when the humiliation of school is over. Sorry to bring the downer here, but if I didn’t have to work I would spare him the fight and home-school him. I don’t think this age-group is capable of compassion, they use information as tools for manipulation.
Comment by Herman Niekamp — September 2, 2008 @ 5:04 pm
The three years in middle school where misserable for my AS daughter. She was the most riddiculed kid in school. However, a math teacher thought it would help to speak to her class room about Lauren. I agreed to let her to so under one condition, That Lauren not be present during this conversation. So on a day when Lauren had to leave school for a appointment and missed math, the teacher had the conversation. While it did not improve the over all “middle” school experience. It did improve how she was treated in that class room. I truely appreciate the teacher who cared enough about Lauren’s feelings and helping her achieve in her class. There were a few great teachers who tried to help her. But there were many who failed her greatly. I am also proud to say that High school is much better. She has an IEP, and her support system is tremendous. She is thriving and even making a few friends. So don’t be afraid to let the teacher help, if it is carried out in the right atmosphere.
Comment by Katrina — September 2, 2008 @ 5:33 pm
I say go for it! The cildren can’t understand what isn’t explained to them. It is not a death sentence and our children shouldn’t be ashamed of the way they are!! They should be as proud as the next student. I believe if the explaination is given in an undestanding way then….what can it hurt? Nothing! Help comes from understanding and education. We did it in 5th grade for our son. I mean come on…it is kinda obvious that something is different. He left school everyday for half a day to be tutored one on one with a teacher from 5th through the 8th grade. The kids didn’t understand why Jesse was allowed to leave school everyday. When they are educated, then we can gain some understanding!
Also, at this point he is 18 and he can tell his friends or not. He is a senior in high school and on the varsity football team. They had a person from the Autism society come last year and speak to the team and parents about how common it now is in our society. The lady said they are very much just like you and I. As a matter of fact there is one among you!
I thought my sons face would burn as red as it got! Thats his decision to tell or not to tell!! However,after getting to know the boys on the team….I’m fairly sure there are others whether they are diagnosed or not. It is so prevelent today in our world.
Thank Kim
Comment by kim — September 2, 2008 @ 6:01 pm
I am in England and my 13 year old son in year 9 now… he is bigger and his voice has dropped and has adolescent spots… He has friend also with special needs!! a girl (she is more sociable)not told what they are even though i am open with my son’s diagnosis. He doesn’t like situtaions like the short walk (les than a mile in UK to town(shops etc) because it might mean difficult situations he wants an adult with him and he is nearly 14 and in UK places are close together… But he can walk to school even across a busy road as he has learn t the route!!!
How can I widen his horizons ???
I can’t be with him forever! I also have a 6 year old daughter to take to school! in opposite direction!!!!
Comment by Anne-Marie Taylor — September 2, 2008 @ 6:09 pm
My 11 3/4 year old grandson found difficulty integrating with children of his own age at the start of middle school. He was lucky to have a friend since kindy years. A boy the same age who I cared for when his mum worked so he was part of the family really and even though his mum remarried and went miles away he still visits his dad by our place. Though weekends do not always tie up, I feel they have this bond between them that will be there even after school. His other friend (I think similar to my grandson) has the same in terest with computer although I don’t like my grandson on computer all the time. I have always had him doing team sports basketball and softball but due to his size (mainly becuse he doesn’t eat enough protein) his running is not good. I always have a talk about him being A.S. to the various parents at the team sports and I think this helps the interaction among my grandsons team mates even though he is often on the outer as he lacks good communication skills. He loves playing table tennis mainly because he tends to com municate with adults better than his peers. I have always emailed and talked to his teachers about A.S. Some listen and try and help in situations and others just say he’s got to fit in and wont bend. His behaviour in year 7 and year 8 has been picked up and he has had a harrowing year 7 because of the teacher not bending and countless detentions and on daily report for six months! His Year 8 teacher is lovely and the whole class love her. She has noticed his maths and spelling being good nd has him in competitions which makes him feel good bout himself. Also she has a one on one teacher for two months helping him on social behaviour. Because he is in a ‘only child’ situation living with his grandparents there is no problem. His mum who has remarried and has two daughters with his stepdad wants him back living with her and there has been an on going courtcase for two years as he wants to live with his grandparents. The final court hearing is on the 24 September.
Comment by Lillian Carde — September 2, 2008 @ 6:11 pm
Its 11.pm in England now…. Can i join in?
Comment by Anne-Marie Taylor — September 2, 2008 @ 6:14 pm
I would not do this at all. my son is now 13 all his class mates are fine with him. I did however direct teachers to this website, and have printed off daves mini parenting course for there knowledge. they found this very helpful. Dont stimagtise this child, only now are we talking and explaining to my son about his condition, on a need to know basis as questions arise.
Comment by andie — September 2, 2008 @ 6:24 pm
RE: gluten free diet for Asperger’s. We took my daughter off wheat a couple of years ago to see if anything would improve. (She is not totally gluten-free) We did see improvement in her conversational and relational abilities - but the biggest impact was digestional. (Intestinal disorders can be part of the Asperger’s package too.) She had been having horrible tummy aches, constipation with and without diarreah, gas & cramping. Taking her off wheat has made a huge improvement in her “tummy troubles.” We still have to give her a stoll softener every other day to keep things moving in the bathroom. She is 11 now and it did not take her long to understand for herself that if she eats wheat she will be in the bathroom, miserable for a couple of hours. She has learned to “eat around it” and say no to classroom treats. She eats the icing on birthday cake and the chees & toppings off pizza. She does get a little bit of wheat in chicken nuggets and stuff. She is fully responsible for reading cereal packages in the grocery store, avoiding wheat away from home (we let her order off the grown-up menu at restaurants) and we let her pick out things in the gluten free aisle at the grocery store.
Comment by Susan Lindsey — September 2, 2008 @ 6:32 pm
My son is 8 and although he’s never been “called out” on his behavior, people who have been in his life do see that just a little something is different about him. I don’t feel it necessary to hide or “be careful” of what I tell about him. All people will not understand but knowing that it is something he cannot help, does help them understand and be a little more empathic to his radical behavior. People who have epilepsy tell others so why would we hide this from peers? Someone else may be going through the same things and sharing is good for all of us.
Comment by Janet McAtee — September 2, 2008 @ 8:35 pm
I find your articles useful but find it very frustrating that I can rarely read them in full because the adverts on the right hand side obscure some of the text.Is there anything I can do to fix this?
Tabatha
Comment by tabatha lovelace — September 2, 2008 @ 10:10 pm
Talking to the class can be very helpful when it is shared in a ‘global’ approach. My son has been in school with the same classmates since he was 4, so they were all well aware of how to tweak him to have outbursts, which they thought were very amusing. Two years ago his teacher and the school social worker started doing a lot of social skills / social awareness work with the group as a way to intervene without being very specific. Last year, 4th grade..his teacher took a much more pro-active approach. With my input and approval, he addressed them all as a group the first day of school; with explanations of how each of them is unique in their abilities and their personalities. He also stressed the importance of helping each other, being kind, compassionate and understanding, and realizing that just because you don’t *see* a special need doesn’t mean there isn’t one. I have to say, it was one of the best things that could have happened; as it improved the quality of ALL their relationships/friendships without singling out my son. If you are cautious, figure out why, and express your concerns; and find a way to make it a positive learning experience for all, as it can only help them as they grow up.
Comment by Cass — September 2, 2008 @ 10:29 pm
I’m sorry….I still don’t understand the stigmatism thing and all the hush hush of Aspergers?? It is a persons ignorance that makes it difficult for the Aspies of this world. If we continue to hide and make them think it is somehow shameful then we have a very long way to go!!
I agree that it is their call if they want to tell their friends and coworkers, but what if they are young and situations arise that we cannot always be there for? That is when the truth comes to be very important and education is the most important!!! If we educate the young children they will grow up to not have this prejudice that we are all worried about! Maybe with education they will learn that Aspies are not all that different then they are! We need to continue this fight to end this kind of ignorance and it all begins with knowledge! Kim
Comment by kim — September 2, 2008 @ 10:36 pm
My 8 year old son finally made a friend in our new apartment complex today. We’ve been here almost 2 months. I found out from his friend’s mother that he has Aspergers also. I’m really glad she told me because that explains their interesting relationship.
I’m thinking that being open about our children’s conditions will help everyone in the long run.
Comment by Elaine Powell — September 3, 2008 @ 2:37 am
Don’t be afraid to let others know about Aspergers, let your childs teacher explain to the other students, how else will they learn. Being tolerant of each other means understanding each other. This should happen for all, be it for religious differences, race or disability. Let your son participate and maybe the other students won’t think it so odd, and I bet half of them won’t really think there is an issue. My 8 year AS son is in a satellite class in a main stream school in Australia and the main stream children think he is great and treat him no differently, they understand because they have had the issues explained. They also assist him when something happens that they know will affect him, like loud noises with his sound sensitivities. You should make it a priority to make AS not scary for the children, teachers and parents around your child. Good Luck.
Comment by Sandra — September 3, 2008 @ 2:56 am
Many teachers felt it was a privilege to teach our son. Many students felt that it was a privilege to give our son a hand. This was possible because I was involved on the emotional level that a school environment carries. And with maturity evolving our son was able to speak often for himself. A school is not an apparatus. It is made up of real people who have to leave a great part of their personality for most of every day at the entrance and from then on function according to rules. This is true for teachers as well as students. They even have to use a language that becomes increasingly deprived of human traits.
The Asperger’s description of our son’s personality was most helpful for teacher’s to understand why he behaved this way or that way. But the appeal to their suppressed humanity was what changed the picture. Them knowing that behind his various unusual expressions is an able, pure human being that can blossom with their help was the motor for many teachers throughout the school years that made our son love the school environment. Yes, he suffered from not having the genuine friends he longed for. But we were on our way to overcome this too to a degree. For example, the culinary teacher allowed him to help each morning to prepare foods for lunch, the history teacher made him ‘famous’ as the historian of the school. The theatre teacher invented a special award for dedication at the annual ceremony. The TV class was responsible for the news in the morning and the quote of the day was read by our son. In 11th grade the principle decided to show a small film on Asperger’s to the entire school. My envolvement was intense from baking cookies, chaperoning to being my son’s shadow at every ball game he wanted to attend. It was the climate of respect and warmth that made a two way street. ‘You annoy me but I love you’ was what he heard often - and then they laughed about it together. I speak about public school in rural America!
It seems that too many people get stuck on the mere diagnosis of Asperger’s and act on it like on a foreign object - parents -siblings - teachers and peers. It really doesn’t harm to think independently, activate your intellect, your talent, your spirituality
and put it in service of your child. If you accept that as a process that will always accompany your child you have a much better developed judgement of who else can be of help and how - doctors, teachers, therapists and potential friends.
It is our job to develop trust on all levels and again, respect to all, insight in their roles and warm compassion expressed through a smile on your face and mindfulness that takes you and your child well on the way life has entrusted you with. Kindly, Gesa Barto
Comment by Gesa Barto — September 3, 2008 @ 4:21 am
I am the mother of 12 year old son, he is not statemnented so this made life very hard in his first year at High school. Like most aspies he is of above average intelligence and maths and science are his best subjects. Unfortunately his subject teachers were not informed of his issues and it took alot of phone calls and visits before his life got easier at school. He has a fantastic form tutor who is there for him and his school report was better than I could of wished for. In todays society its not just the children who need eduacting about aspergers but the teachers aswell.
Comment by sue — September 3, 2008 @ 5:13 am
I am a teacher and I have AS. I often talk to student groups about Aspergers and autism. I do it from the perspective that people think differently and that is OK. I show the children that by presenting them with some visual illusions like the old woman/young woman and rabbit/duck pictures often used by psychologists. Then we listen to music - something fairly obvious such as Autumn by Vivaldi. The students draw their responses to the music while it is playing and those who wish may show the class their work at the end. This demonstrates very clearly how we all have the same experience but we perceive it differently. This sets the scene for thinking about difference as OK. I then get students to talk about one thing they are really good at and one thing that requires help. That way we identify that people have different strengths and weaknesses. We then brainstorm what the class can do to help people who are having trouble with learning, friendships and behaviour. This builds in classroom support. When I work with students, I do not introduce the term Asperger Syndrome unless the parent and child are comfortable with that. Often, I have worked with the child around understanding the diagnosis, appreciating his/her strengths and discussing autistic culture and autistic achievers. In those situations, the child is always positive about AS. I leave the teacher some stories about characters who are different so that the class has ongoing discussion. A really good one is “Luke’s way of looking” by Nadia Wheatley.
When I work with students in their teens, I use the DVD “I am Sam” as a basis for talking about difference. We take a day to workshop the same issues as the movie progesses. At the end of the session, we come up with suggestions for supporting difference in the school environment and these are then published in the school newsletter. I think it is important that difference is seen as a much broader issue than autism although often they ask questions at the end of the presentation and these frequently refer to behaviours which are characteristic of autism. If I know the student and parents are happy with that I may name it up, but adolescents are often more reserved about personal information.
Comment by auntyjack — September 3, 2008 @ 8:28 am
Do not allow them to do this thing. Trust me on this - the next step is them saying “Well, THAT didn’t work” and taking him out of his mainstream class and putting him into a “remedial” classroom. Your child is simply different, not odd or weird. The use of the word “strangely” tells you everything that you need to know about what his teacher and school thinks about him, so don’t allow them to label your son in this way. I would have a chat with his teacher as well, becasue it does seem to me that this teacher doesn’t really understand your son’s circumstance too well.
Comment by JIm — September 3, 2008 @ 3:12 pm
My son is in 2nd grade and since Kindergarten, I have sent a book to be read to the class each year. The kids have really responded well to it as they had questions about why he does the things he does. According to his aide, it really helped the other children understand and they have always treated him with respect.
Comment by Heidi — September 3, 2008 @ 3:55 pm
please someone tell me if you have seen any improvement after trying the casein -gluten free diet
Comment by jackie — September 3, 2008 @ 5:23 pm
I speak from a friends experience that she has seen wonderful improvement. I also have another friend that is starting it on her 5 yr old.
The only reason I could personally see trying the diet….is food allergies. I believe that research shows that Aspergers and
Autism are genetic. The reason we see it come about near the two year shots is that is the age where the severe symptoms generally set in. Our son has Aspergers symptoms from birth. Also, the infants get the same shots in their 6 month shots. I’m not judging anyone for trying anything they see fit to try on their child. It is a personel thing and we all have the right to try what makes us feel we have done our best for our child.
We all feel passionate about the issues that effect our Asperger family members.
God bless,Kim
Comment by kim — September 3, 2008 @ 5:59 pm
my son was diagnosed with Asperger’s when he was 14 1/2 years old. I supected it from age 9, but no one agreed with me. I deal with a bunch of other conditions on top of this and he is very challenging since loosing my husband in 2005 and becoming a single mom. He just turned 16 on Sept 1st. Things that he is into, I have a strong feeling that as an adult he will be very successful. he is my day to day challange but knowing now what I am dealing with is so much better then before. my parents have been great with all of this and they very close witch helps a great deal. don’t turn down help from family and friends if you can get them to understand what Aspergers really is and he is not being “bad” on perpus. he has a great pe teacher this year, which helps with getting the excerise he needs. look for people (allies) in the school.
i am trying to learn as much as i can and understand so that i can be a better advocate for him.
submitted by valerie september 3 @1053pm
Comment by Valerie Guyer — September 4, 2008 @ 12:04 am
My daughter is nearly 6 and was diagnosed 2 years ago with Aspergers. For the past 10 months we have been gluten free and have minimal dairy in our diet. There are heaps of testimonials on the net to back up the benefits we have experienced since the change in our diet. I have noticed a distinct decrease in her sensory defensiveness and obsessive behaviours. She is now able to cope in supermarkets and in playgrounds and even for 2 whole days at school. Such outings were very difficult for her before. She was also echolailic…… that has also stopped, along with her biting and pinching other kids when she was frustrated. She now refuses to eat gluten as she says it makes her feel “grey”. Luke Jackson, a 13 year old boy with Aspergers has written a book on his own benefits from the Gluten Casein free diet, and also talks about it in his book Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome. There is a heap of scientific evidence to suggest that kids with ASD are more likely to have “brain allergies” to gluten and casein, causing an opiate effect to their mind. It has made a MASSIVE difference to my daughters ability to cope outside of home.
Comment by Trudi Hogg — September 4, 2008 @ 12:41 am
Go for it !! My son was diagnosed in grade 1, there are several students in his school with AS. The grade 1 & 2 teachers have given a presentation to the other students in the classes (both when the AS kids were there and when they weren’t) its been great - the other kids now understand why my son and others are “different” they accept it and tend to protect and help them out.. its been a huge success.
Comment by Helen - Adelaide SA — September 4, 2008 @ 6:48 am
As a teacher I have found a class chat very powerful - not only for AS students but many societal problems - death in a family, illness, getting on with others, working with teachers the class do not like and many other situations. The points I emphasize are caring for each other, being a good friend, ways of helping, things that won’t help, my expectations and giving the students the opportunity to be the problem solvers in the situation. Not only have I found this helpful in many situations but it developed the social conscience of the class. I found that treating the class this way stopped that one student who may want to keep on teasing or stirring the pot. The children became very protective of any of their classmates who had a need. I no longer am at that school but hear this class are still a very tight group.
Comment by jenny — September 4, 2008 @ 8:50 am
My 5 year old is on a diet free from gluten, casein, corn, soy, artificial colors & flavors (among a few others). This has made a MAJOR difference in our lives!! She used to have sensory issues but not they are mostly gone. She couldn’t enjoy a breeze blowing, could only wear dresses (the waist on pants hurt her), she couldn’t wear socks, she couldn’t stand certain noises (including the car air conditioner on high), etc. Now she picks out shorts to wear and loves to feel the breeze and the way it blows her hair. She still doesn’t like socks but can tolerate them. I just can’t say it loud enough - TRY THE DIET! I started with the Feingold Diet and it helped me figure out what to buy. It was well worth the money. (Feingold.org) It does take time on the diet to see the complete benefits so don’t give up. Also, it seems very overwhelming to completely elminate these things from your diet but our children are worth it! The benefits are just great!
Comment by Kim — September 4, 2008 @ 10:35 am
I have a 13 y.o. son, who has Aspergers. He has been in the same school district since early childhood, age 3. Yet, the kids think he is odd and he has been bullied. It have gotten worse, in 8th grade. school has been in session 2 weeks. He has already been bullied in PE. He now has a fractured 5th finger on his right hand. Will have to wear a splint for 4-6 weeks. This has impeded his writing. Prior to this, he has struggled with neat penmanship. I am beside myself. The school thinks I am the enemy.
Comment by Rita May — September 4, 2008 @ 11:44 am
My just turned 13 year old son was only diagnosed with Aspergers (high functioning) 8 months ago. He has been with the most of the same children at school since grade 1, so many of them have seen his ‘unusual’ behaviour for quite a few years. My son was diagnosed as ADD in grade 2, so we always thought this was why he often acted differently from his peers. (We had him reassessed in grade 5 with the same ADD result). When we found out about the Aspergers, it filled in so many of the holes.
He was nearly expelled from school twice in grade 6 & 7 for inappropriate behaviour, however, with help from his pyschologist, we spoke to the school principal and he was placed on ‘probation’.
He is in grade 8 now and is doing ok - even has a few friends. I have had to explain to all his teachers that he has AS, and mostly, their approach to him has changed. They seem to be more accepting and picking up on things before they come to a head. I tell people of the AS on a need to know basis. As my son is also a type 1 diabetic, he feels different to his peers as it is. Telling everyone of his AS only makes him feel worse. I agree that education is the key to helping people understand AS, put also have to stress that is must be done correctly and compassionately. Kids can (and are) often cruel, but that can be to anyone who may appear/act differently to the majority.
I have not tried my son on a full gluten free diet, however, due to his diabetes I am very concious of what he eats. I did note an improvement in his behaviour when I changed him to the A2 milk which doesn’t contain the caseine A1 protien that some popeple cannot digest. Apparently, when the person gets a build up of the A1 protein in their system, it can have an ‘opiate’ effect on them. I also feed my family as much organic food as I can find available and keep well away from preservatives/additives.
Comment by Lisa Binns — September 4, 2008 @ 7:44 pm
I am not familiar with the term A2 milk which doesn’t contain the casein A1 protein- can someone elaborate on that please?
Comment by Lisa Johnson — September 5, 2008 @ 9:08 pm
My 13 year old aspi is in 8th grade. After many incorrect diags. The correct diag. of Aspi is so correct. The teachers are just not getting this they say he seems just fine and I just need to learn how to parent. What do I do. This topic is so good to see on paper but teachers don’t get it.
Comment by Karen Swanson — September 6, 2008 @ 11:14 am
hi my 9 year old is haveing trouble being nice in a group,will demand to be first and has to have more of every thing have try many things.He has little time to wait for things.his brother are finding it hard to deal with his in your face all the time.can you give me some tips in to how to stop the fights between the older brother and younger sibling.The older son says its nor fare he always gets his own way they are frustated like me at times,I have tryed seperate activitys detraction but we havent always got time to do it this way.he is bright at school socially has freinds, but doesnt want to go out to see them.preferes to stay home.need some Ideas thank you
Comment by annette — September 6, 2008 @ 11:11 pm
No do not allow the school to put on a presentation. The thing to do is to ask the school to put on a presentation of his “savant” powers. For example, my child can tell any make of car from very few visual clues and from a distance. He has also memorizes the flags of all countries in the world. I think it a good idea for the teacher to allow the Apsberger’s child to reveal these powers to the class. His classmates will then respect him more and learn to value the things that he can do which they cannot possibly do!
Comment by Daniel — September 7, 2008 @ 2:33 am
Hiya,
Can someone please help me,my son is almost 8
yrs.now and is begining to notice he’s different
and how come nobody calls to the house for him to go out playing,should I tell Jamie now that he
has Aspergers Syndrome or is he still to young to cope with this,please help
Regards
Diana
Comment by Diana Doupe — September 21, 2008 @ 2:35 pm
Just read this now. My 9 year old has been telling everyone as she knows she has aspergers. She was diagnosed in June. The other kids in class no longer call her “weirdo” make fun of her and many of them try to help her. I think telling the other kids was a good thing. She seems much happier after her day at school, knowing her diagnosis and explaining her differences to others. The other kids accept her more. This was her choice to tell others. I think it was a good one.
Comment by Karen Walker — October 14, 2008 @ 11:01 am