How do I get my husband and family to accept the Aspergers diagnosis?
Hi there and welcome to this week’s Aspergers blog.
Thanks so much to those of you who have provided questions in the last 24 hours for me to plan my new Aspergers ebooks around.
If you haven’t sent in a question yet there’s still time at …
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/public/313.cfm
Here’s this week’s article …
Question
How do I get my husband and in-laws to acknowledge the diagnosis and help care for the child?
Answer
Sometimes Asperger’s Syndrome is hard to see if you do not live with it every day. And sometimes people are simply in denial. Either way, the truth must come out. Acknowledging the presence of Asperger’s Syndrome will lead to the best possible support and treatment available for the child. Family support is practically necessary. Yes, you can survive handling everything on your own. However, life will be much more pleasant for the whole family when everyone is working together to care for the child.
Some people will choose to stand on the outside; you cannot do much about that. Nevertheless, you can equip them with facts and information so they can make a choice regarding the position they plan to take. Here are some ideas.
* Perhaps your family needs to hear the truth from a professional. Official paperwork containing your child’s diagnosis is available from your physician, neurologist, and/or psychologist. You can request copies of any Early Intervention assessments, private therapy evaluations, and school system evaluations. Explain to the family that these people are professionals who see Asperger’s Syndrome every day. You might also mention that the assessments and evaluations rely on much more than your input, taking the attention off any possibility that you are ‘making this up’.
* Most of your child’s therapists will offer parent training sessions regularly. These sessions allow you to ask questions about your child’s programs and his progress, while also educating you on his new goals and coaching you on how to meet these goals. Invite your family members to attend the parent training. They can ask questions that will help them understand your child’s Asperger’s.
* Contact your local Autism support groups. Without family support, it is dire that you find encouragement elsewhere. Tell your family about community events or group meetings so they have a chance to be informed and involved.
* Network with other families living with Asperger‘s. Listening to the stories of families who are ahead of you in the journey can give you and your family insight into the condition.
* Find books, videos, and other media sources that you can share with your family members. “Voices From the Spectrum: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, People with Autism, and Professionals Share Their Wisdom” by Cindy N. Ariel and Robert A Naseef is a great example of one such resource. This is a book of powerful essays written by family members and people on the Autism spectrum about their life experiences.
Find the support you need to help yourself and your child and try not to worry about your family. Encourage their participation always, but concentrate on your child’s needs, the significant issue at hand.
Have a great week,
Dave Angel
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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community
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Making Your Kitchen Gluten & Casein-Free in Seven Easy Steps
As you make your transition to your new gluten and casein-free lifestyle, one of your first jobs will be to make significant changes in your kitchen. Of course, you can predict the importance of having the right ingredients, but let’s take a step back even further than that … To read the full article go to: -
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/311.cfm
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Aspergers and Depression by Matthew Readman
I just came back from my yearly physical. The Doctor informed my mom and I, that I was just entering the first part of puberty. Puberty I yelled but I’m only 10. I don’t turn 11 until later this year. The Doctor stated that nowadays kids begin puberty early and this is normal. I asked the Doctor does this mean I’m going to get weirder. The Doctor laughed and stated …
To read the full article go to: -
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/310.cfm
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8 year old with Aspergers tells jokes
This video features an 8 year old boy called Hayden from Hot Springs National Park, Arkansas; who has a diagnosis of Aspergers.He is filmed at home by his dad telling jokes as he wants to be a comedian one day.The video quality is excellent and Hayden’s jokes are good too.He shows some “out takes” at the end, including a joke about “undercoat” that he really had to persevere with to get right.He is interviewed at the end which is really interesting and he shares both his dreams and his frustrations. Running Time 3 Minutes 49 Seconds …
To watch this video go to: -
http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/309.cfm
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My son is 15 1/2 and he was diagnosed with Aspergers at age 12. I just reviewed a book called All Cats have Aspergers and I think it is the best explanation for friends, family and teachers. Even though it is juvenile and intended for the young it actually clearly describes Aspergers without having to go into long explanations.
Comment by Susie Giurlani — August 25, 2009 @ 10:16 am
Dave,
Can you give me some direction. My child is a girl 9 years. I have ran into a problem this year with daycare. The YMCA that she would have to attend is awful she has been there in past years I had noting but problems it even came to she was being psycially hurt by other children and they did nothing. I refuse to send her back their. the problem is that it is either there or 1 other place that is almost as bad. They are our only options. I asked my work to allow me to work 7:00-3:30 pm so I could be home to meet the bus when she comes home from school. The answer I got was NO we do not make acceptions. I wonder if I have any legal course I could take.
Comment by Cindy Jones — August 26, 2009 @ 6:28 am
My 14 year old son will be in 8th grade. He has made friends with a kid who used to bully him, the kid is also ADHD…so he has his own issues, but I am proud that my son has turned a corner. He is looking as forward to school as a 14 year old boy can. I recently learned from a parent who reads this blog, that the ALPHA SMART computer used in Washington state is also used in Montana, I didn’t know. But he has horrible hand writing and says he uses it at school to write stories, etc… I love this blog and the things you learn. It helps to know that we are all in this together and can learn from each other. My only problem is a mother in law who used to be a kindergarten teacher who insists on “teaching” and “lecturing” our son every chance she gets. I don’t say anything, as I don’t want to offend her, but she is always lecturing him, but never my 11 year old daughter. I just sometimes want to tell her to just enjoy Sam and don’t worry about teaching him all the time. He gets really tired of it. Any ideas? Oh, she has 2 severely autistic grandchildren, my brother in laws twins. We count our blessings all the time that Sam is so high-functioning, that is why I can’t figure out why she doesn’t just enjoy him, as she doesn’t see the other kids often, they are about 7 now.
Comment by Sue Orr — August 27, 2009 @ 4:22 pm
Sue, I’d tell your mother inlaw a fib. Tell her your OT recommended doing a type of Play Therapy with your son. That it involves only playing with him and not teaching so he learns how to play and communicate with others without prompting. Something like that anyway. Your mother inlaw wont change, but if she thinks she’s doing a therapy with him she might back off a bit.
Comment by Leesa — August 27, 2009 @ 11:58 pm