How to cope with violent outbursts from a child with Aspergers http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers Aspergers Syndrome-Aspergers-Aspergers Disease-Aspergers Disorder-Autism Aspergers-ASD-Asperger Syndrome-Asperger-Asbergers-Asbergers Syndrome-Asberger Syndrome-Asberger-Autistic-Autistic Children-Autism Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:41:37 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 How to cope with violent outbursts from a child with Aspergers http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/comment-page-1#comment-13066 David Armenta Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:10:10 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/#comment-13066 My 6 year old asd boy started at a new school last week specifica;y geared towards kids with asperger's and other forms of high functioning autism. He was expelled today for throwing a chair in the classroom. It looks like it's back to public school where he has a 1 on 1 aide and still has a lot of trouble. He enjoyed going to school for the first time and was excited and now he will not be allowed to return. It is very frustrating. He is such a loving kid and does not display this type of agression at home. What do I do? My 6 year old asd boy started at a new school last week specifica;y geared towards kids with asperger’s and other forms of high functioning autism. He was expelled today for throwing a chair in the classroom. It looks like it’s back to public school where he has a 1 on 1 aide and still has a lot of trouble. He enjoyed going to school for the first time and was excited and now he will not be allowed to return. It is very frustrating. He is such a loving kid and does not display this type of agression at home. What do I do?

]]> How to cope with violent outbursts from a child with Aspergers http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/comment-page-1#comment-12888 jessica Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:16:02 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/#comment-12888 i have read all the comments and i too understand the pain and hardships that we face raise children with aspergers. My son is 14 and weighs over 100 pds over me. normal tasks such as bathing and brushing his teeth are a constant fight daily. according to his father, he is teh opposite at his home. My son recently was arrested and released to me because he threatened to kill people on his hit list. When I asked why he created a hit list he responded with "i usted wanted people to leave me alone" because they would tease him about his obsessive interests:guns! I know YIKES right! I have tried for years to have teh school place him on an IEP but because his fathers fear that he will be labeled they refuse to do it. Now he is in trouble with the law and i think with teh intervention strategies that would have taken place we would not be in the place where we are now.... scared and unsure what to do next. My son's father has been violent to me and my daughters, in addition with telling my son that women are not as smart nor should be listened too. He also manufactures weapons with in his home and teaches my son how to use them. The police report stated that he keeps a gun collection at his home that is not locked up. I have a restraining order against him to protect me and the girls but the court system will not restrict him from having weapons. I am afraid of my sons and others safety and do not know what to do.... i have read all the comments and i too understand the pain and hardships that we face raise children with aspergers. My son is 14 and weighs over 100 pds over me. normal tasks such as bathing and brushing his teeth are a constant fight daily. according to his father, he is teh opposite at his home. My son recently was arrested and released to me because he threatened to kill people on his hit list. When I asked why he created a hit list he responded with “i usted wanted people to leave me alone” because they would tease him about his obsessive interests:guns! I know YIKES right! I have tried for years to have teh school place him on an IEP but because his fathers fear that he will be labeled they refuse to do it. Now he is in trouble with the law and i think with teh intervention strategies that would have taken place we would not be in the place where we are now…. scared and unsure what to do next. My son’s father has been violent to me and my daughters, in addition with telling my son that women are not as smart nor should be listened too. He also manufactures weapons with in his home and teaches my son how to use them. The police report stated that he keeps a gun collection at his home that is not locked up. I have a restraining order against him to protect me and the girls but the court system will not restrict him from having weapons. I am afraid of my sons and others safety and do not know what to do….

]]> How to cope with violent outbursts from a child with Aspergers http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/comment-page-1#comment-4043 Marian Mon, 11 Aug 2008 10:05:01 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/#comment-4043 I don't know if this is of any help to anyone, but EFT (emotional freedom techniques) is free to learn and quite easy to use. Getting your children to allow you to use it has been the hardest part for me. Ann Adams has used it in a school for emotionally disturbed children with enormous success, but it is also something I think could be in every parent's toolbox! www.emofree.com for the free manual and a whole host of other helpful information. I don’t know if this is of any help to anyone, but EFT (emotional freedom techniques) is free to learn and quite easy to use. Getting your children to allow you to use it has been the hardest part for me. Ann Adams has used it in a school for emotionally disturbed children with enormous success, but it is also something I think could be in every parent’s toolbox! http://www.emofree.com for the free manual and a whole host of other helpful information.

]]> How to cope with violent outbursts from a child with Aspergers http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/comment-page-1#comment-4042 Ramona Sun, 10 Aug 2008 04:27:41 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/#comment-4042 Hi, I have a 17year old girl and a 7 year old boy with AS. My daughter has always had meltdowns but mostly at home or with family. She usually isn't too bad at a store or in public. I never understood the meltdowns until recently when she was diagnosed with AS after our son was diagnosed. He never had the meltdowns until recently. They just come out of the blue for no apparent reason or for something most people would consider trivial. My daughter has often voiced that she doesn't know what or how to explain what is feels or needs when she has the meltdowns. Many times, she doesn't even remember what she has done during the meltdowns. She was first diagnosed with ADD, ODD(Oppositional Defiance Disorder), anxiety and depression, and possibly Bipolar. I wish we could have known about the AS sooner so things could be different. The tantrums, I think are a way of releasing frustrations and sometimes fear of the unknown. You have to be very patient and try to find out the core of the problem rather than just trying to stop it. The AS is much more noticeable in my son by his mannerisms. She has figured out how to adjust most of the time to her surroundings while he just goes into shut down. I guess it is the age. Sometimes, I just don't know what to do because she tries to show that nothing bothers her and she doesn't care while he shows all the obsessive fears and behaviors. Is anyone else going through these things? They both take lots of medicines and that costs a fortune but we can't get any help because we make just a little too much money. He gets speech at school but they won't evaluate him for PT or OT because his grades are high and so are my daughter's. I feel like they are falling through the cracks to a certain extent because we have always worked to hard with them at home. We can't afford therapy anymore. What is a family to do? Hi, I have a 17year old girl and a 7 year old boy with AS. My daughter has always had meltdowns but mostly at home or with family. She usually isn’t too bad at a store or in public. I never understood the meltdowns until recently when she was diagnosed with AS after our son was diagnosed. He never had the meltdowns until recently. They just come out of the blue for no apparent reason or for something most people would consider trivial. My daughter has often voiced that she doesn’t know what or how to explain what is feels or needs when she has the meltdowns. Many times, she doesn’t even remember what she has done during the meltdowns. She was first diagnosed with ADD, ODD(Oppositional Defiance Disorder), anxiety and depression, and possibly Bipolar. I wish we could have known about the AS sooner so things could be different. The tantrums, I think are a way of releasing frustrations and sometimes fear of the unknown. You have to be very patient and try to find out the core of the problem rather than just trying to stop it. The AS is much more noticeable in my son by his mannerisms. She has figured out how to adjust most of the time to her surroundings while he just goes into shut down. I guess it is the age. Sometimes, I just don’t know what to do because she tries to show that nothing bothers her and she doesn’t care while he shows all the obsessive fears and behaviors. Is anyone else going through these things? They both take lots of medicines and that costs a fortune but we can’t get any help because we make just a little too much money. He gets speech at school but they won’t evaluate him for PT or OT because his grades are high and so are my daughter’s. I feel like they are falling through the cracks to a certain extent because we have always worked to hard with them at home. We can’t afford therapy anymore. What is a family to do?

]]> How to cope with violent outbursts from a child with Aspergers http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/comment-page-1#comment-4038 Janice Lien Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:00:19 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/#comment-4038 I identified with many of the comments posted. Especially, I feel like Patty. My kid is also now acknowledging he is different, and trying to deal with it. He is entering a class with thirty students this year, so I'm not expexcting much improvement on the school front from last year. I want to transfer im, but there is the matter of money, and the matter of transportation, and the matter of childcare. I also need to hold a job, so there is the matter of sudden suspensions. Even though the staff at the school has had him there since pre-K, since his class size doubled (as it does there at grade 3), he has had had more problems. It does not help that the classrooms are no larger than than those for the younger children. Has anyone tried hypnotism, or Montessori school? I'm considering these, as well as homeschooling. (which would wreak havoc with holding a job - then, there are the busybody naysayers always trying to start trouble). I hear all of you. My son is on DAN protocol, but still needs more help. He now has Blue Choice, which is a lot better than when he only had Medicaid. We have no idea how long that will last. There is still much it will not pay for. Janice I identified with many of the comments posted. Especially, I feel like Patty. My kid is also now acknowledging he is different, and trying to deal with it. He is entering a class with thirty students this year, so I’m not expexcting much improvement on the school front from last year. I want to transfer im, but there is the matter of money, and the matter of transportation, and the matter of childcare. I also need to hold a job, so there is the matter of sudden suspensions. Even though the staff at the school has had him there since pre-K, since his class size doubled (as it does there at grade 3), he has had had more problems. It does not help that the classrooms are no larger than than those for the younger children.

Has anyone tried hypnotism, or Montessori school? I’m considering these, as well as homeschooling. (which would wreak havoc with holding a job – then, there are the busybody naysayers always trying to start trouble). I hear all of you. My son is on DAN protocol, but still needs more help. He now has Blue Choice, which is a lot better than when he only had Medicaid. We have no idea how long that will last. There is still much it will not pay for.

Janice

]]> How to cope with violent outbursts from a child with Aspergers http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/comment-page-1#comment-4017 louise burkey Sun, 03 Aug 2008 23:40:05 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/#comment-4017 I'm replying to Kely's comment on 7-22-08 regarding changing schools for her son. Her experience is identical to ours with our now 10 year old son, straight A student, who was punished with both in and out of school suspension. After putting up with his school for four years, we changed schools. We made sure that adequate training was provided by our state DPI, and even our state legal department offered to step in if necessary. I am happy to say that he had a great year, kept old friends and has made new ones. Please give your child the oportunity to experience a school administration that is willing to go the extra mile! (These are both public schools) Louise I’m replying to Kely’s comment on 7-22-08 regarding changing schools for her son. Her experience is identical to ours with our now 10 year old son, straight A student, who was punished with both in and out of school suspension. After putting up with his school for four years, we changed schools. We made sure that adequate training was provided by our state DPI, and even our state legal department offered to step in if necessary. I am happy to say that he had a great year, kept old friends and has made new ones. Please give your child the oportunity to experience a school administration that is willing to go the extra mile! (These are both public schools)
Louise

]]> How to cope with violent outbursts from a child with Aspergers http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/comment-page-1#comment-4015 Pam Hunt Sun, 03 Aug 2008 16:14:41 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/#comment-4015 Hi everyone! I'm glad but sorry i"m not alone! I would like to say that Occupational Therapy really helped my daughter and us learn some techniques that helped with self control. We of course stay on a schedule. I try to always give her a SOCIAL STORY everywhere we go so she will understand the situatiion and if she feels uncomfortable we have a comfort plan for her. Luckily, she likes to read so always we have a books and she can always grab her book when she feels herself starting to get overwhelmed and go to a safe place and read. I always carry a snack she likes and drink. If she is not Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. HALT the meltdowns are minimal. We always give her warnings before a transition. Ie: you have 2min. before we are leaving. If not, a meltdown is sure to happen. I hope by our experiences this has helped someone. Good luck and blessings to all. You are not alone. My daughter is 7. This yr. she showd much improvement. There is hope. Hi everyone! I’m glad but sorry i”m not alone! I would like to say that Occupational Therapy really helped my daughter and us learn some techniques that helped with self control. We of course stay on a schedule. I try to always give her a SOCIAL STORY everywhere we go so she will understand the situatiion and if she feels uncomfortable we have a comfort plan for her. Luckily, she likes to read so always we have a books and she can always grab her book when she feels herself starting to get overwhelmed and go to a safe place and read. I always carry a snack she likes and drink. If she is not Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. HALT the meltdowns are minimal. We always give her warnings before a transition. Ie: you have 2min. before we are leaving. If not, a meltdown is sure to happen. I hope by our experiences this has helped someone. Good luck and blessings to all. You are not alone. My daughter is 7. This yr. she showd much improvement. There is hope.

]]> How to cope with violent outbursts from a child with Aspergers http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/comment-page-1#comment-4014 Dan Sat, 02 Aug 2008 05:38:30 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/#comment-4014 We also feel for you all and hope you find a solution at some point. Our son is 11 (12 in November), he is a big kid. Danny has extreme meltdowns, at times these have lasted for up to 4+ hours! As with many others talking does no good, reprimanding does no good. He will even tell us if he has to listen to another lecture he is going to lose it even more. Danny sees Danny- it seems like that is too simple however we beleive that is the answer. He has been on numerous meds which have not worked. His Dr finally took him off all but one. Danny's meltdowns include banging his head against the wall (hard), grabing and pulling his facial skin, screaming bloody murder (its no wonder his friends in the neibourgh hood have begun to alienate him), threats to my wife are becoming more common (I have begun to worry about this factor), throwing objects... Danny has passed out, becomes dizzy, gets hives all over. He has a rage issue. The Dr's say he is 2-5 yrs old socially and emotionally. It is sad because he is extremely bright and very smart. I wonder often about his future. He has strong avoidance issues at school and church, he literally goes to the restroom for 15-20 minutes up to 4 and 5 times a day at school! Thankfully he has held his rage in check at school. Danny can often be polite and caring but we are beginning to see that these situations many times suit his goals. I wish I knew what to do... next year he will be at a new school. It is a program for children with aspergers/autism or similar issues. It is called CASS (communication and social skills). We have heard of fantastic results from several people. We hope this will start a change! We will keep all of you in our prayers. We also feel for you all and hope you find a solution at some point. Our son is 11 (12 in November), he is a big kid. Danny has extreme meltdowns, at times these have lasted for up to 4+ hours! As with many others talking does no good, reprimanding does no good. He will even tell us if he has to listen to another lecture he is going to lose it even more. Danny sees Danny- it seems like that is too simple however we beleive that is the answer. He has been on numerous meds which have not worked. His Dr finally took him off all but one.

Danny’s meltdowns include banging his head against the wall (hard), grabing and pulling his facial skin, screaming bloody murder (its no wonder his friends in the neibourgh hood have begun to alienate him), threats to my wife are becoming more common (I have begun to worry about this factor), throwing objects… Danny has passed out, becomes dizzy, gets hives all over. He has a rage issue. The Dr’s say he is 2-5 yrs old socially and emotionally. It is sad because he is extremely bright and very smart. I wonder often about his future.

He has strong avoidance issues at school and church, he literally goes to the restroom for 15-20 minutes up to 4 and 5 times a day at school! Thankfully he has held his rage in check at school.

Danny can often be polite and caring but we are beginning to see that these situations many times suit his goals.

I wish I knew what to do… next year he will be at a new school. It is a program for children with aspergers/autism or similar issues. It is called CASS (communication and social skills). We have heard of fantastic results from several people. We hope this will start a change!

We will keep all of you in our prayers.

]]> How to cope with violent outbursts from a child with Aspergers http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/comment-page-1#comment-4009 Patty Thu, 31 Jul 2008 07:11:39 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/#comment-4009 My thoughts and prayers are with ALL of you! My son has Terrrible " melt downs " the worst part CERTAIN Family members and friends DO NOT UNDERSTAND! I hear things like, She needs to make him stop, she needs to make him mind I can't believe she lets him " GET AWAY " with that. She needs to tell him to "GET WITH THE PROGRAM" I DO REPRIMAND MY SON. LIKE TALKING TO A BRICK WALL! Or standing at the bottom of Niagara Falls and tell the Falls to Stop. He does not do well with large groups of people, he has sensory issues, smells, sounds, he doesn't like to be touched, or questioned etc. We were recently at a family picnic and a well meaning family member,put his hands on Reilly's shoulder asked if Reilly would like something to eat? A normal question, very nice gesture . REILLY FREAKED, He acted as though he had been brutally assulted, HE HATES TO BE TOUCHED! HE SCREAMED AT my brother inlaw, get your &^&^ hands off me I don't want any of that nasty^%$^%$^$food. Four letter words were flying! I quietly said Reilly, that is enough LETS GO. I reprimanded him in the car all the way home. I dont really know what good it does because he doesn't GET IT. I still keep trying .I heard all about it later how I "LET REILLY" get away with ANYTHING and he is "SO OUT OF CONTROL " Reilly's Shrink told me NOT to put Reilly in a situation where " He won't do well " I should have listened. I realized when we got back to the car, I was an hour late in giving him his meds. and he was hungry. Yes he also melts down when hungry. When I gave him his meds he said to me, Mom I will take my meds but you all have to understand that I have MENTAL problems and NO meds are gonna fix me. He is 14 And he is right no meds are gonna fix him, I can only hope and pray they will help him a little. He struggles so. In the past 16 months Reilly has lost his Dad his Step Dad and his Grandpa. Reilly does NOT cry, he gets ANGRY. That is how he deals with his pain. NOT acceptable, not politically correct. I know..... NOT the way " normal " folks deal with pain. If I could change it I would. It is a constant battle. God give me strength. Does anybody out there have a magic wand I can borrow, just for a minute, I would like to get these judgemental know it alls off my back just for a minute. I would like to see them walk a mile in my shoes, never mind a mile.....let them walk a block. JUDGE not lest ye be judged! It is SO hard day in and day out. It makes it SO much harder when people critize. Bottom line my son has a condition, THAT IS NOT HIS FAULT or my fault. He was born that way. His brain is wired differently from most. In most people the messages go from point A to point B. In the case of the Aspie brain the messages go from point A to Q to Z and never make it to B. My son is Very depressed, he knows he is different, and he wants to be like everybody else. The first time he saw a shrink he was 10, and the srhink asked him...."If you could have any thing in this world, anything at all what would you pick? Reilly replied..." I wish I could have a new brain cuz mine don't work right" Later when the Dr told me this, with tears in his eyes, he said most kids when asked that question will say they want a pool in the backyard or a trip to Disney Land. Reilly just wants a new brain...... I love Reilly AS IS ...... I think it is the small minded idiots of the world who need a new brain. I am going to be completely honest here..... If i did not have a Son like Reilly I wonder If I would be a judgemental jerk too...?????? Because from an outsiders point of view it may very well seem that these kids are just out of control spoiled monsters. I raised 3 healthy daughters, they were/are VERY WELL behaved, I was all about the tough love. And they are Fantastic, Phenominal young ladies. Aspies do not respond to regular parenting skills and methods, like other kids. Patience, Patience and more Patience is the key. I whole heartedly agree with Lea Having Pets helps, they love Reilly unconditionally, as I do. He loves to skate board ride his bike and go on the computer. Its when he gets aound people that his problems start. Kids can be so cruel. God Bless the Aspie's and all the wonderful, compassionate Folks who Love them! Michael Savage can kissmymonkey@ss My thoughts and prayers are with ALL of you!
My son has Terrrible ” melt downs ” the worst part CERTAIN Family members and friends DO NOT UNDERSTAND! I hear things like, She needs to make him stop, she needs to make him mind I can’t believe she lets him ” GET AWAY ” with that. She needs to tell him to “GET WITH THE PROGRAM” I DO REPRIMAND MY SON. LIKE TALKING TO A BRICK WALL! Or standing at the bottom of Niagara Falls and tell the Falls to Stop. He does not do well with large groups of people, he has sensory issues, smells, sounds, he doesn’t like to be touched, or questioned etc. We were recently at a family picnic and a well meaning family member,put his hands on Reilly’s shoulder asked if Reilly would like something to eat? A normal question, very nice gesture . REILLY FREAKED, He acted as though he had been brutally assulted,
HE HATES TO BE TOUCHED!
HE SCREAMED AT my brother inlaw, get your &^&^ hands off me I don’t want any of that nasty^%$^%$^$food. Four letter words were flying!
I quietly said Reilly, that is enough LETS GO.
I reprimanded him in the car all the way home.
I dont really know what good it does because he doesn’t GET IT. I still keep trying .I heard all about it later how I “LET REILLY” get away with ANYTHING and he is “SO OUT OF CONTROL ” Reilly’s Shrink told me NOT to put Reilly in a situation where ” He won’t do well ”
I should have listened. I realized when we got back to the car, I was an hour late in giving him his meds. and he was hungry. Yes he also melts down when hungry. When I gave him his meds he said to me, Mom I will take my meds but you all have to understand that I have MENTAL problems and NO meds are gonna fix me. He is 14
And he is right no meds are gonna fix him, I can only hope and pray they will help him a little.
He struggles so.
In the past 16 months Reilly has lost his Dad his Step Dad and his Grandpa.
Reilly does NOT cry, he gets ANGRY. That is how he deals with his pain. NOT acceptable, not politically correct. I know…..
NOT the way ” normal ” folks deal with pain.
If I could change it I would.
It is a constant battle. God give me strength.
Does anybody out there have a magic wand I can borrow, just for a minute, I would like to get these judgemental know it alls off my back just for a minute. I would like to see them walk a mile in my shoes, never mind a mile…..let them walk a block. JUDGE not lest ye be judged!
It is SO hard day in and day out. It makes it SO much harder when people critize.
Bottom line my son has a condition, THAT IS NOT HIS FAULT or my fault. He was born that way. His brain is wired differently from most. In most people the messages go from point A to point B.
In the case of the Aspie brain the messages go from point A to Q to Z and never make it to B.
My son is Very depressed, he knows he is different, and he wants to be like everybody else. The first time he saw a shrink he was 10, and the srhink asked him….”If you could have any thing in this world, anything at all what would you pick? Reilly replied…” I wish I could have a new brain cuz mine don’t work right” Later when the Dr told me this, with tears in his eyes, he said most kids when asked that question will say they want a pool in the backyard or a trip to Disney Land.
Reilly just wants a new brain……
I love Reilly AS IS ……
I think it is the small minded idiots of the world who need a new brain.
I am going to be completely honest here…..
If i did not have a Son like Reilly I wonder If I would be a judgemental jerk too…??????
Because from an outsiders point of view it may very well seem that these kids are just out of control spoiled monsters. I raised 3 healthy daughters, they were/are VERY WELL behaved, I was all about the tough love. And they are Fantastic, Phenominal young ladies. Aspies do not respond to regular parenting skills and methods, like other kids.
Patience, Patience and more Patience is the key.
I whole heartedly agree with Lea Having Pets helps, they love Reilly unconditionally, as I do.
He loves to skate board ride his bike and go on the computer. Its when he gets aound people that his problems start. Kids can be so cruel.
God Bless the Aspie’s and all the wonderful, compassionate Folks who Love them!
Michael Savage can kissmymonkey@ss

]]> How to cope with violent outbursts from a child with Aspergers http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/comment-page-1#comment-4006 TomsMom Wed, 30 Jul 2008 23:17:13 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-violent-outbursts-from-a-child-with-aspergers/#comment-4006 My 6-1/2 year old, dx'd at 3, comorbidity ADHD and mood disorder has tantrumed since age 4--he's a hitter and kicker, sticks his tongue out a lot and makes raspberries but has never bitten anyone (small comfort!) On medS now somewhat lessened in intensity: he remains verbal but will perseverate relentlessly. He does do best with routine but I've found that he will gradually try to narrow the routine to suit himself by acting up when he doesn't want to do something. He is bright, charming and manipulative. He does fine 1:1 but peer groups of any size stress him and his usual reaction is "flailing". Telling him his behavior is "unacceptable" does very little as that is too "abstract" for him, unless it is followed by a "choice" (Something along the lines of You can take a deep breath and calm down or else we have to go home/skip the movie/have no computer time etc., etc. etc.) Staying calm is key. Unlike many on the spectrum, restraining him does NOT work to help calm him, in fact it accelerates the rage, once the physical aspects manifest. I was very disturbed and my sympathies to the father who had to turn his teenage son out of the house to protect his family. What a nightmare! I am haunted by the idea that my little guy may some day, unless he can become more self-controlled, have to be hospitalized or perhpas wind up in jailfor his aggressive tendencies. Prayers for all! My 6-1/2 year old, dx’d at 3, comorbidity ADHD and mood disorder has tantrumed since age 4–he’s a hitter and kicker, sticks his tongue out a lot and makes raspberries but has never bitten anyone (small comfort!) On medS now somewhat lessened in intensity: he remains verbal but will perseverate relentlessly. He does do best with routine but I’ve found that he will gradually try to narrow the routine to suit himself by acting up when he doesn’t want to do something. He is bright, charming and manipulative. He does fine 1:1 but peer groups of any size stress him and his usual reaction is “flailing”. Telling him his behavior is “unacceptable” does very little as that is too “abstract” for him, unless it is followed by a “choice” (Something along the lines of You can take a deep breath and calm down or else we have to go home/skip the movie/have no computer time etc., etc. etc.) Staying calm is key. Unlike many on the spectrum, restraining him does NOT work to help calm him, in fact it accelerates the rage, once the physical aspects manifest.
I was very disturbed and my sympathies to the father who had to turn his teenage son out of the house to protect his family. What a nightmare! I am haunted by the idea that my little guy may some day, unless he can become more self-controlled, have to be hospitalized or perhpas wind up in jailfor his aggressive tendencies. Prayers for all!

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