Hi and welcome to this week’s blog post …

Before I get into it I want to talk briefly about the summer holidays.

I know that the long holidays can be a very difficult time for many parents so I am wanting to offer some help …

In the next day or so I am going to put out a quick online survey where you can ask me your most important question about the upcoming summer holidays.

And I’ll answer as many of them as I can in my brand new ebook.

So look out for that email in the next 24-48 hours …

Here’s the blog post …

Question

How to explain abstract concepts of friendship and love

Answer

Talking about abstract concepts with a child with Asperger’s Syndrome can be challenging. Typically, children with Asperger’s have a very difficult time understanding abstract concepts, especially those that have to do with social interactions. When you talk to you child with Asperger’s about friendship and love, understand that this will not be something he can grasp overnight.

A great deal of the conversation depends on the age of your child. Young children, especially elementary age children, will likely be talked to about friendship many times. Keep the conversations as concrete as you can, using specific examples. If you son has a good friend, talk to him about what sorts of things he can do to nurture that friendship. He can invite his friend over for play dates. He can share his toys. He can talk to him, especially when his friend wants to talk. He can be a good listener. Using specific examples, you can explain to your son, over time, what friends do for each other, and what friendship means. Helping him understand this will enable him to better create and nurture friendships when he gets older.

When your child is young, you will want to introduce the concept of love to him. Explain that love is a feeling, and talk to him about times when he might feel that feeling. He loves his mother and father. He loves his siblings. He loves his pets. Helping him to identify that feeling will help him understand the emotion. You can also talk to him about how he treats people he loves. Give him concrete examples of ways he can act and things he can do to nurture a loving relationship. This might include holding hands or hugging, or a kiss good night.

As your child gets older, you will need to continue to talk with him about the changing nature of his feelings and the nature of his relationships. He may have feelings for girls that he has trouble identifying. Talk to him about those feelings and help him give them names. You will need to talk about the varying degrees of love, such as the love he might feel for a good friend and the crush he might have on a girl in his class. Discuss appropriate ways to act on those feelings.

It’s important to help your son identify his own feelings and give them names. He will then need to talk about the appropriate ways to act when he has those feelings. A good reference for parents is a book entitled “Life and Love: Positive Strategies for Autistic Adults” by Zosia Zaks In this book, the author writes about concrete ways to deal with challenges that come up in daily life, about friendship and love. Ms. Zaks writes for autistic adults and stresses the relationship between self-esteem and independence. This would be a great book to have your older child or adult child with Asperger’s read. This would give you a common language to talk through some of these issues.

Take Care

Dave Angel

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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

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I have an issue with your Asperger’s tips, they are all geared to boys and the girls present very different symptoms in a lot of areas, especially at school. My 12 yr old tries to participate and when the teacher responds negatively or worse with sarcasm, she either gets really upset or shuts down. She tries to interact socially, but ‘trips over her own tongue’ and will say things to really upset her peers. Can you help?

Boys and girls do present Asperger’s symptoms differently, and have a different rate of diagnosis. According to the Asperger’s Foundation (www.aspergersfoundation.org.uk), Asperger’s is diagnosed in four boys to every one girl. It is thought that Asperger’s affects children at a rate of ten boys to one girl. Consequently, when discussing Asperger’s syndrome, more often information is geared toward boys than girls. Girls tend to present Asperger’s symptoms differently. Girls with Asperger’s tend to do better socially than boys with Asperger’s. In your daughter’s case, it seems she has trouble …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/263.cfm

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My child with Asperger’s seems to be developing anorexia. What should I do?

Anorexia is a complicated illness. It is an eating disorder where a person controls the amount and type of food she eats and creates a situation where she is starving herself. Typically, people who suffer from anorexia are grossly underweight, and yet continue to perceive themselves as fat. An anorexic might …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/264.cfm

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How do I help other people in the world understand my son’s behaviors?
Here is a brief description of Asperger’s Syndrome. Asperger’s is a developmental disorder that affects a child’s ability to socialize and communicate effectively. Children with Asperger’s syndrome typically are …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/262.cfm
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