How to help your child with ASD to do better at school

24 comments »

1. You are SO on target with this. My son’s third grade year this year has been much better than the last few years, in no small part because we have a tireless parent advocate who helped us through the system and got him the help he needed. It’s well worth the fight.

   Comment by satscout — December 23, 2008 @ 5:46 pm

2. My grandson 13 years had a difficult Year 7 at school mainly because his A.S. wasn’t diagnosed professionally or taken seriously when the pediatrician thought he may have Aspergers. In year 8, the Education Department sent out a school focus team because of his behaviour and he now has help with a Teacher Resource team. He gets counselling if need be and really enjoys going once a week to this class. Next year in year 9, they will keep on seeing him as they go to different classrooms and have a few more different teachers as they want to keep watching his progress. I think the main thing is to have him diagnosed professionally. He no longer lives with us but will attend the same school because of the court order, as too much change will not help the situation as he has been with us 10 years out of his 13 years.

   Comment by Lillian Carde — December 23, 2008 @ 6:58 pm

3. My son who is 6 and finished his first year of school has displayed much of the behaviours discussed in the main statement. We have struggled with distractable behaviour, poor concentration, inability to stay focused and therefore distruptive to class-mates. This in turn has caused difficulties with concrete learning tasks such as reading and writing. We have been fortunate to have been funded an aide for next year to assist with these issues so we just hope it may be of some help. As with Aspergers our son struggles with all the social issues as well, once he goes out to play we know it is usually by himself due to the way he addresses peers; usually with nasty comments and oppositional behavious. We wonder with the combined struggle with school work and difficulty building relationships why school (for him) is just so awful sometimes!

   Comment by Leanne — December 23, 2008 @ 7:50 pm

4. I was undiagnosed until 49 when I finally figured myself out though I’ve since had it professionally confirmed. I was bright but often unable to learn. Looking back I realize that I lacked the mirror neurons to be able to follow someone’s actions when I was being shown something. Anytime a Teacher demonstrated how to do something on the board they might as well have been waving their arms around randomly. It took all my effort to figure out where their hands were. By the time I had that mastered they’d have had their hands four or five other places and been several steps ahead in in explaining. Those rare times I had a teacher bother to help such a weird student who was not in any sports teams and thus had little value in helping. (Didn’t need high grades to keep on the team because I was not on any team ), I was then talked through stuff, and “got it” fairly quickly. Example: As a teenager my visually oriented Aspergian Father told me to “watch what I do.” when trying to teach me to drive. Results” Disaster. I could not learn.)His anger and impatience didn’t help but I still would not have “got it.” At the ate of 32 a Neurotypical Friend had me sit in the drivers seat and she talked me through learning. I had no difficulty. Many Aspergian special education classes would have been a disaster for me. It is a myth we are all visually oriented. I have almost no visual memory. I can barely imagine vague wisps of color. I have an almost tape recorder memory, though that is not perfect either. I am an audio Autist. We do exist and I suspect it is going to turn out more Female Aspergians are that way which makes diagnosing us as autistic even harder. Female Humans communicate with both sides of the brain, not half of it while the other half watches out for danger as Men do. If a Lady is along the spectrum I suspect there is much more of a chance our strengths will be verbal because of that difference. If both sides of our brain would be best at communicating anyway due to our femaleness, that doubles the chances we Girls will be good at verbalizing and poorer at visualizing while a man has a 50 50 chance of being verbally weak and visually rich.

   Comment by Elizabeth Hensley — December 23, 2008 @ 9:12 pm

5. i remain unconvinced that schools are where aspergers young people are best served, and not greatly impressed by special educational schools either, having visited something like 20 different kinds of schools. Some aspergers children I know are successfully home schooled. My own son is attending NatureKids and has his own teacher at home two days a week, agreed through tribunal. I am setting up a small progressive day school for high functioning kids. I would also like to see a dedicated unit at the UCL/ Camden Academy so that our kids can access teachers who are mentored by university staff. Our kids all have their ubique learning styles and interests and their individual pathways supported

   Comment by http://aspergerschool.blogspot.com/ — December 24, 2008 @ 2:32 am

6. VERY WELL PUT BY ALL OF THE FOLKS WHO COMMENTED! It made me realize how far my son and I have come from the very first IEP meeting to where we are today. I get so much from all the input. It’s nice to throw ideas and questions out there. Thanks Dave and all. Happy New Year To All!

   Comment by Christine Carley — December 24, 2008 @ 3:11 am

7. I have to agree with Dave that in my experience teaching staff in mainstream education often struggle to understand the needs of children with AS. They simply do not have enough knowledge about AS and our education system in the UK really needs to address these issues. My son began to experience the symptoms of childhood depression within 4 months of starting his Secondary school. In our experience the teaching staff were simply unwilling/unable to change their approach to him or make any allowances for his anxiety which culminated in some pretty horrendous behaviour. He has now been offered a place in a Special Ed school whereby the teaching staff appear to have a positive approach to these ‘unique’ children. God bless special ed teachers. They’re Angels!

   Comment by Tina — December 24, 2008 @ 8:27 am

8. I have custody of my 5 yr old grandson. He was diagnosed ADHD & Asperger 2 months ago. We’ll be getting the results in mid Jan. Teacher says – i’ve tried everything, but he still is disruting the class & they allow him to keep going & she tells the class just to ignore him. At first I was coming & picking him up. He’s smart, but sure not learning there. I work with him at home – he’s doing great, but there’s no socialization. Where is the balance?

   Comment by Bobbie — December 24, 2008 @ 11:21 am

9. i am the mother of 2 asperger children, one boy and one girl. they are as different as night and day! i am currently homeschooling them and i find it helps both of the to reach their highest potential, without totally stressing them out! i am amazed at their intelligence as well as by their idiosyncrasies! yes, it is true. every day is not perfect….not perfect by far. but this is for our family and the rewards far outweigh the stuggles!

   Comment by marie — December 26, 2008 @ 12:55 pm

10. I’d also suggest that this parent look into vision therapy for her child. Since ASD kids’ brains are wired differently, the vision issue may also have a brain component and could possibly improve with vision therapy. If possible, find a developmental opthomologist who can do a visual processing exam and develop a comprehensive visual therapy program. For those of you not familiar – it is like occupational therapy with a visual component. Child may be asked to do things like jump on a mini-trampoline while using an oversized racket to hit a tennis ball suspended from the ceiling. An evaluatuon by a neurologist may also help determine if some of the vision issue is a brain wiring difference that might be improved. Good luck!

    Comment by Susan Lindsey — December 26, 2008 @ 1:20 pm

11. Hi there i need suggestions to help my 8yr old learn survial tactics. Eg when swimming in the deep end of pool he was kicked in the eye instead of getting to the edge of pool to safety he can’t seem to think or take instruction of what to do just panics.This has happened several times in different pools. My son loves the water & has no fear of the it untill something happens.Taking him to a lake or the beach is always a worry for me .

    Comment by mary — December 26, 2008 @ 10:08 pm

12. My daughter is also 10 yrs old and is aspergers and we are also having the same problems with her teacher and the school she attends. They refuse to see that because she is intelligent that she should not be working up to her potential and her teacher is constantly sending home notes to that effect but they won’t give us any extra help and I am having trouble dealing with the school system where we live. so if anyone has any suggestions that would be great….jandstysinger@hotmail.com (we live in nc and she attends onslow county schools)

    Comment by shannon — December 28, 2008 @ 5:07 pm

13. My son is exactly the same, except he does not have a vision problem. He is in the Remedial Unit (Special Needs Unit) attached to a mainstream school. He can then do the mainstream curriculum and extension work if necessary but with teachers who understand the social interaction difficulties etc. He also sees a psychologist who manages the whole situation and helps him with behaviour modification therapy. It works mostly. He has got to the stage where he is able to see he is different and battles to accept the inability to interact socially with his peers. We have good days and bad days.

    Comment by Leigh-Anne Crooke — December 28, 2008 @ 10:43 pm

14. My son is 9 years old and has Aspergers also. My family don’t understand him. In school he attends special ed. classes which he seems to be doing fairly well in. But in his regular classes he is expected to listen and work just like the other kids. They are constantly sending me home notes. I can’t get any student aide for him because he doesn’t meet the school criteria for those needs. So i know he will end up being lost in the system. I am trying to do what i can to help. I am a single mother of two.I live in a very isolated town Labrador City, NF. Canada. Thanks for listening.

    Comment by cheryl — December 29, 2008 @ 9:18 am

15. i agree with comment number 4, as even in the original post, parent concludes that child does better one on one. i have five children, two of which are learning challenged. i home school them all so that each child can progress at thier own rate, we celebrate each child’s success and take as much time as we need to get to the point of complete understanding. my two sons that have a more difficult time really benefit from this because there is no pressure to perform at other than their best. though they are competitive in other areas (community sports and music) they are not in positions educationally that cause them to feel inadaquate or like failures. i believe the public school systems are not equipped to provide such positive influence as they cannot control all environmental causes of such feelings. being at home (and in smaller groups, ie scouts, sports, music, play groups, teen groups, church, etc.) there is more ability for the parents to help the child integrate more acceptably and help them to cope with other’s view of them.(self concept based on other’s actions toward them) it is more difficult for the parents to be involved with the child’s world when the parent works all day and the child is gone all day.. both are exausted at the end of the day and help is short coming. all of these are things to keep in mind as your heart hurts for each child that suffers in school… the school does not have your “heart” and cannot meet the needs of every single individual child.

    Comment by maureen — December 29, 2008 @ 10:24 am

16. My son is 8 yrs old and we are just starting the AS journey (he was diagnosed last year) He makes great grades in concrete areas( spelling and math) but horrible grades with writing and organization. He has a great teacher this year and gets special ed ea day in the room. They are focusing on his ADD and not his AS (even though they go hand in hand) Last year was awful!!! Keep pushing the school and don’t be afraid of asking for a teacher change. Both my son and his teacher were miserable last year! I also send in articles, I don’t know if anyone reads them, but at least they have the information.

    Comment by Sara Galvin — December 30, 2008 @ 8:21 am

17. try home education it stops all the problems assossciated with school & being different. My son is Aspergers and does well out of the school enviroment

    Comment by katrina — December 30, 2008 @ 8:47 am

18. Aren’t you afraid that your AS child will not learn how to cope in the “real world” if you home school? We are considering private school for LD cildren but are shying away from home schooling since that won’t help him learn how to get along with others. I’m not saying we won’t ever consider home schooling, but we are afraid of social isolation. This year is going ok, but if we have another year like last year we have to re-evaluate. Thoughts?

    Comment by Sara Galvin — December 30, 2008 @ 1:36 pm

19. Elizabeth
    Thankyou for you insight and views. Descriptions of how you see the world are invaluable to mums like me trying to help educate the educators about how my 7 year old views the world. Please post more from your take on things.

    Comment by Andrea Schoenmakers — December 30, 2008 @ 3:32 pm

20. for sara galvin… real life?? real life is not about academics… yes, make sure they can read, yes make sure they have critical thinking skills. social skills… two thoughts 1) do you want them to grow up as children or as adults? with this i mean… watch them. dont they do wonderfully with adults and one on one with peers? there are multitudes of jobs in “real life” where one can work with one patient or one co-worker or independantly etc etc. so many of the educated children of the public system are immature, inconsiderate, disrespectful.. ask yourself are these the attributes you want your child to grow up inheriting, since they are inundated with these attitudes and concepts 7 hours a day. 2) if you have multiple children (we have five, two of my boys are ASD) they will have to learn to get along with each other and you. also, dont discount community groups such as scouts, sports, the YMCA, music classes etc etc. these are places where small amount of times with others is not too overwhelming for the child with ASD, because the amounts of time are short.
    the book “the way i see it, a personal look at Autism and Aspergers” by Temple Grandin is an excellent resource that i highly recommend. when multiple children are home schooled, simple things like learning to take turns in board games or video games, is a social skill. helping them to set rules on how to treat others, is a social skill. As you are aware, the outbursts and lack of self control are big issues with ASD.
    i have taken my 6 year old aside and had him make rules on how to treat his 3 year brother. this helps him to know that he too can make rules and when he breaks them he gets to chose the consequence (Since he broke his own rule) when he is keeping them, he comes to me so proud and we think of a reward. home schooling ASD takes alot of thinking outside the box, patience, determination, and consistancy. You can do it, you really are the only one who can. you are the only one who knows them, and has a heart to help them be their best. One thing that i have learned is that i have a tendancy to help them compensate vs. overcome… i have had to watch this in myself. and oh by the way… it is never perfect… and when life takes over, they also have to learn to be flexible and adapt to change. if you want to chat more, hstockton@cox.net

    Comment by maureen — December 30, 2008 @ 3:50 pm

21. I am struggling so bad with my son. He is 13, in 7th grade. He is very smart, great report cards, he is socially struggling, blurting out mean and hurtful things to family members. He wants people to like him but is so easily frustrated.
    It is hard to motivate him socially. He feel everyone is “out to get him” because he has to be talked to on more than one occasion a day about his behavior ad outbursts at home or school. I feel he is already “distant” due to his ASD but it seems as though the lack of friendships and puberty are making him depressed, frustrated, and subsequently more distant. What can I do? I feel as though I am losing my son.!!!!!!

    Comment by SHANNON — December 30, 2008 @ 9:09 pm

22. For Maureen: Thanks for the info. I do notice that my son gets along better with older, more mature children. His bf has been home schooled and may go back to being so. As long as my son is cheerful with his schooling I will leave him alone. Right now, I am teaching writing skills, the thought process of creating a story not machanics. He does well with cursive writing—push school to teach this, our school wasn’t going to and it is not required so OT and I taught him–he likes to go to school, he likes the library and taking the comp tests in reading, these are the reasons he is still at this school. As long as we keep getting good teachers we are ok. It is helpful that the school system psychologist has a child in our school and knows my son. She trys to be helpful. I will keep an open mind about home schooling. You have all my admiration and respect for the job you do.

    Comment by Sara Galvin — December 30, 2008 @ 9:42 pm

23. for mary… alot of times an aspie is a strategist. *i married one of these* they can come up with so many ways to do something. it is really exciting to see their minds at work. but when it comes to on the spot desicions (such as my husband having to clean up a one year old who just mashed a fruit bar everywhere- or in your case a child who was just hurt) they can think of many things to say or many ways to handle the situation… the reason they freeze up is their perfectionist tendancy and desire to do the right thing. in our case, when my husband is confronted with this situation and he does what he thinks was the right thing, i am patient and accept the effort that was made (besides, all moms know that dad’s are not moms-grin) with our younger aspie, we work with him on pretend situations and when real ones occure, instead of hitting himself or crying, we ask him “is crying going to fix it?” “hitting yourself is not going to help make it better” (gently of course, not angrily)what can you do next time? what can you do now? help him express his feelings and be his support in confronting his situation (ie, how do you feel about being kicked in the face? i can go with you so you can tell the boy) i hope this helps, mary.
    thank you sara for reading the post and for keeping home education in your back pocket. there maybe more support in your area than you might be aware of. HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Association) is a great link to find out about home schooling and support where you live.

    Comment by maureen — December 31, 2008 @ 8:50 am

24. My daughter is just 5, she was diagnosed last year and with change in diet and behavior modification, she went from having a shadow in a class with 24 girls and one teach to having no shadow in the same class. Red dye 40 is the biggest behavior trigger. But I am finding that she is also not performing to her level. They try and give her more work but she says no and that is it. It is a mainstream school and where I live ASD is totally unknown. Schools refused to take her and this is the only school that will make an effort. What should I do? she sometimes goes as far as says she does not know how to do it or she is scared to do her work! We know she can do everything with her eyes closed.

    Comment by Rebecca — January 2, 2009 @ 11:59 pm

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