How to help your Teenager with Aspergers during Transition

Filed under:Teenagers — posted by admin on December 9, 2008 @ 4:50 am

Hi it’s Dave Angel typing in a huge hurry as I am trying to dash out of the door to my local library for the Christmas stories this morning with my daughter! So with no time for further ado here’s this week’s article:

Question

I have a 15 (almost 16) year old with Asperger’s. She was a late diagnosis (wasn’t diagnosed until she was 14). What I would like to know is how do you help a teen with transition services, i.e. getting a job, learning to drive, going to or even just getting into college, when the teen doesn’t have any desire to learn or do any of those things?

Answer

Unfortunately, and as of this writing, the diagnoses of autism and Asperger’s Syndrome do not receive the same government support as do other more well-known disabilities. When financial assistance is not available for therapy or medication, illnesses go untreated, and the person with Asperger’s experiences mental and social difficulties. If you can afford medical services, obtain them as soon as you can. If you cannot afford such services, check with your child’s school. They can design an individualized treatment plan for her. The ideal treatment plan involves your daughter, a counsellor or therapist, her teachers, and her parents be consistently involved with her treatment and use effective teaching and disciplinary principles. While you may not be able to afford therapy for your daughter, you will learn a lot of coping principles at the treatment plan meetings.

A quick, easy way for you to start helping your daughter is to begin reading books about Asperger’s Syndrome. There are many titles on the subject; start by going on the internet and typing the words “Asperger’s girls” or “Asperger’s teenagers.” The books can be purchased on the internet, or you can make note of the titles and take them to your local bookstore. They will order them for you. In addition to the internet, keep up with the information provided on this website. Make it a habit to read the questions and answers on this website to get the information you need. Another source of information is your nearest autism or Asperger’s Association and support group. They will refer you to free or low cost services available in your area.
All parents of Asperger’s Syndrome children worry about their child’s diagnosis as well as their future. There is an excellent video available titled “Asperger’s Syndrome: Transition to College and Work” by Dan and Julie Coulter.

At the age of 14, your daughter is coping with adolescence in addition to her Asperger’s diagnosis. Talk with her about the future, and discuss the benefits of driving, going to work, and attending college. Don’t expect her to make conclusive decisions about these subjects, especially college. After all, it is several years away. Prioritize her issues. First, make sure she gets treatment for her Asperger’s, see if there is a teenage support group in your area, and take the rest slowly. Her first goal should be learning about and getting treatment for her Asperger’s Syndrome.

One educational option for your daughter is a junior college as opposed to a university. Colleges are now accommodating their growing populations of disabled students who begin their studies with a variety of diagnoses. Community college can be an excellent choice for an Asperger’s student because students at community colleges get more counselling support, and, since most community college students are still living at home, they have fewer new adjustments to make. Whether she chooses a community or four year college, it is best to find one which offers special programs for students with disabilities. Before enrolling, students on the autism spectrum need help planning a manageable course load.

One way to help prepare your daughter for adulthood is a part-time job while in high school. See if you can determine your daughter’s vocational strengths and interests that will help her be successful with part-time employment.

To learn more about teenagers and Asperger’s Syndrome, read the book Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum: A Parent’s Guide to Cognitive, Social, Physical, and Transition Needs of Teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorders by Chantal Sicile-Kira. This book considers the issues that teens with Asperger’s Syndrome cope with during their teenage years. The information is clearly written and is appropriate for children outside the autistic spectrum, too. It was written by a parent, for parents. While the book doesn’t present the issues in depth, it does serve as a starting point for planning your daughter’s future.
Have a great day
Dave Angel

PS – I wrote several more interesting articles this week for the new site entitled “How to discipline a child with Aspergers” and “How to find competent therapists for a child with Aspergers” which I know may be very useful for many of you. And again apologies for the delay in this website (still aiming for January) but there’s so much to still do!

comments (10)

10 comments »

It is definitely a plus when other people are involved with an asperger teen. My son heeds other people’s opinions more than my wife’s and mine. Today he told me he read about how asperger people struggle with social skills. Even though his medication helps him sleep and calms him down through the day he tells me he still has anxiety and has no control with focusing to get anything done. By the days end he is still searching for fulfilment and gets really irratable. Without the medication he would have demolished our house by now. I hope girls don’t put their moms through this kind of stress. Psychiatrists in Ontario,Canada do administer drugs for asperger and other disorders. My son applied for a disability allowance and gets a medical card sent every month. Praise the Lord for this much help

Comment by Larry — December 9, 2008 @ 6:34 am
Dave… an aritcle on “how to discipline a child with Aspergers! I can’t wait. It is very difficult when she doesn’t seem to know or understand what she did is wrong, although if it was someone else she would see it immediately and insist that something be done… if she didn’t take it into her own hands.

Larry is from Ontario too! I have a disability designation, but nothing monetary and I am waiting (forever it seems) for services. Have to keep hoping and praying!!!

Comment by Karen Walker — December 9, 2008 @ 8:09 am
very good and useful. I may not be a teen anymore, but I have asperger and this helps.

Comment by geraldine — December 9, 2008 @ 8:18 am
I have a 12 yr old Asperger’s son. He has been bulleyed this yr. Recently was slapped while @ school and we were NOT notified. NO CALL or WRITTEN REPORT. My sweet child believes the assaults to be “ACCIDENTS” which is what the boys are telling him….Who is in charge???

Comment by shelli Sherrell — December 9, 2008 @ 7:07 pm
What help can I get for my 21 year old who has never had a job…he is so unfufilled, and taking it out on me who seems not able to help him. …when in fact, i try to get him help with applications, but he wont budge, and says he is not going to work…he and I are too close and he wont listen to me, so I have others talk with him and he changes for a day and then back to square one, wont take his meds either….when and what and where…what more can I do…contacted social security…fill out papers and wait,,,not the answer…he needs to be somewhere where he can learn..college, is that a possibility? or a program where he can learn how to do something….help
?

Comment by Susan — December 10, 2008 @ 1:12 am
As the mother of 17 year old girl with Asperberger’s the most important thing I have learned is to accept her timeline. She doesn’t show interest in or accomplish things at the same time as her peers. I have found with learning important life skills such as driving I need to be patient and encouraging. She took the driving test several times and became so nervous she couldn’t apply the skills she had learned. She passed the test and got her driver’s lisence once I convinced her it didn’t matter if she passed or failed, each test was good practice. I’ve learned that my daughter’s life has it’s own rythym and she does better when I follow that rythym than when I try to help her get in step with her peers.

Comment by Rebecca — December 13, 2008 @ 2:51 pm
My daughter 18,has just completed a 2 yr grocery clerk job we got for her and she has learned so much from it-timeliness, dealing with irregular scheduling,checking, and savings act balancing,
appropriateness in conversation, appearance, etc.
Now she also vol at the local hospital in medical records which we hope to parlay into a hospital job that she will find following a medical office certificate prg at the community college which can become a associates degree in science.She wants to do it, and I have shown her
how she is taking skills she is good at to help in health care to help run a hospital dept.and a hospital I showed her has a community type feel to it. Many people stay at that one hospital for their career, or work at two in their life and feel like they belong somewhere when school is gone for an ordered environment. Plus health care is a solid employment field.I did help her with directing her to this interest because she did not have any personal interest outside of theatre which I encouraged here to do for a hobby.

She is in theatre production classes at her school-acting she loved but couldn’t do it as an adult unless it was a minor role. So I helped her find a way to still participate.I hope she will join a young adult group at a religious org. also to replace her key club from high school or perhaps there is a college club or two also.
Re the driving -itsa very hard for her-we tried but here is city driving-its very hard. She will try again through the community prg. here. If not I have already taught her the bus system, how to resource and understand the schedules, and do transfers. We did them together and now she does it but texts me when she gets on, transfers again, and reaches the destination building. It works. I plan to give hera battwery charger to plug in at a coffee shop-or office to re-charge it if it runs out acidentally.

Our hardest thing is financial understandings beyond straight bookeeeping.

Hope I have helped others with this-I had noone to turn to but the school spec ed folks and some coundeling from our US Dept.of Rehabilitation Transition people we met with a few times.

Comment by Lucy — March 10, 2009 @ 10:37 pm
I meant to encourage parents to look at the wide variety of career certificates you can start with
at community colleges-career testing helps too,but you know yur childs interests and strengths. They can dabble in several things to find what they do well and like. Then get them an internship where they can get mentoring by a office that knows about the disability.There is no fear of being fired,just learning by experience. A small paid pt job in a low stress environment for spending money is also good. They build confidence and self worth feelings, and job references, and down the road a career job. I hope I am helping you all out there because no chld should become stuck at home with no motivation to grow and become as independent as possible.The kids don’t develop this on their own usually they need to be shown how to go after it and be taken to go do it.They need to know that if they take their meds that that more independent life waits for them. My daughter found that exciting to get to a place without us driving her, to have her own money to spend etc.
They just need help to see its possible.

Comment by Lucy — March 10, 2009 @ 10:59 pm
okay so i am a 13 year old girl with aspergers or at least thats what my mom thinks… she thinks i have it and showed me this website. and i am like a normal teen, dress like a normal teen, look like and try to act like a normal teen. so just treat your daughter like a normal teen and she will be happy… maybe take her shopping with her friends or something. good luck =)

Comment by Lisa =) — April 10, 2009 @ 1:06 pm
My son is a high functioning aspie teen. We are experiencing some financial hardships at the moment and although I would like to find a job with more hours, I also struggle with the problem of being home to make sure my son is o.k. My husband works a lot of hours and we are still waiting to get onto the health insurance for his new job. Is there any financial help to pay for medications for my son?

Comment by Leann — May 12, 2009 @ 9:18 pm