How to improve Social Skills in a child diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome
Hello there and I hope you’re having a happy Tuesday. I’ve just been to the local Play Zone with my daughter so I’m hoping to get this blog entry done quickly – whilst she sleeps off her morning’s exercise! My baby’s growing up – she’s all of 15 months now! So here goes for this week’s article on social skills …
Question
I would like to know how to advise my son on social skills, such as making friends without being insulting to others.
Answer
One of the behavioural traits seen in children with Asperger’s Syndrome is a lack of empathy. They don’t realize that other people have thoughts and interests that are different from theirs. They’ll interrupt a conversation and start churning out facts about their pet interest - which could be something like medieval history, Star Wars’ trivia, or math - even if it has nothing to do with what the other children are talking about. This and their lack of other social skills, such as looking others in the eyes when conversing, responding appropriately to greetings and questions, and understanding fads and the interests of peers makes making friends very difficult for Asperger’s children.
With some Asperger’s children, social abilities remain intact or aren’t really noticed until around age eight. It is around this time that their classmates begin perceiving them as “different.” The child is singled out for teasing. In addition, the child may be seen as oppositional because children with Asperger’s Syndrome take words and gestures very literally. Communication with Asperger’s children must be “concrete” (brief and easily understood).
Your son can be taught most of the same social skills that children without Asperger’s learn on their own. You can work with your son’s school to produce cards or posters with facial expressions that define feelings. Also, full-length mirrors can be used to make children aware of their facial expressions and overall body language. You and his teachers can role play social situations with him to help him learn appropriate responses and actions.
Speaking of schools, it is unfortunate that there are few schools fully equipped to help children with Asperger’s Syndrome. The number of schools with diagnostically appropriate services will increase when parents, doctors, and social service practitioners lobby educational institutions for assistance in teaching Asperger’s children.
Until the school provides more assistance with your son, there are a number of things that you can do at home. You can surround your son with friends and family so he will have familiar people around on a consistent basis. If your son is intimidated by a large number of people, just have one friend over at a time.
In addition to friends, you can train your son in appropriate social and perceptual skills. He can learn to perceive and interpret nonverbal behaviors, process visual and auditory information, and become aware of social/behavioural conventions. To help you with teaching your son social skills, you might want to purchase the video productions “Model Me Conversation” and “Model Me Friendship.” Click the link below to access them:
In addition to the above videos, there is a book titled:
written by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron. Both Grandin and Barron are diagnosed as having high-functioning autism, and they have written a book that helps people with Asperger’s Syndrome cope with daily social demands.
To help you help your son, go on the internet and look for Asperger’s Syndrome support groups. Look for a group in your area. If there is none available, there are people who stay in touch via the internet. Whether in person or over the internet, they can give you advice and support which will help you help your son.
PS – I’ve got some great news about the new website. I’ve finally found some software that can do everything that a web community needs to keep in touch, updated with developments on all things Aspergers etc. Plus the exciting part is this software is about to be upgraded to allow people in the community to be able to have their own little area like on MySpace on Facebook.
So for those who really want to share, grow and develop with other parents this will be an awesome addition. But don’t worry this won’t be compulsory! So if you prefer to stay low key and just update yourself on the new developments, research and ideas at the website then that will be just fine too.
And some slight bad news … it looks likely to be around January when I can have all this ready to go. Which when you think we’re already in October isn’t too long anyway really.
PPS – The newsletter for this month will be out in the next few days; sorry for the delay!
Take Care
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I want to tell people that I am from Massachussets and I have been teaching social skills to kids/teens with Aspergers for 5 yrs and I have been very successful in using acting games and techniques to aguire social pragmatic skills. I have been doing one on one interventions and small social skills groups here in Danvers Mass.
I can be reached at 508-527-0634
Shell
Comment by Michelle LeFrancois — September 23, 2008 @ 6:50 am
What do other working parents do for school age aspies that need afterschool care. or aspies that need daycare for working parents. In the past I,ve had to pull my daughter out of several childcare facilities because the childcare facility could not handle my aspie child?
Comment by Jaana Alunni — September 23, 2008 @ 7:10 am
Tell them about http://www.worlds.com and http://www.secondlife.com where people have avatars that can move around in a beautiful virtual world. Everyone name floats above their avatar so no problems with face blindness, and emotions are conveyed by emoticons. It’s the perfect social place for us and may be the progenitor of the Heaven science will build far in the future and which due to relativistic curved space/time, already exists. (We are Christ’s Body and ALL Carpenters use their bodies to build things).
Comment by Elizabeth Hensley — September 23, 2008 @ 7:16 am
I’m not getting the article, what about anyone else?
Comment by Sandy — September 23, 2008 @ 7:50 am
Dave: The link didn’t work.
Comment by Melissa — September 23, 2008 @ 8:18 am
This is a first for me….I couldn’t find your article
Comment by Christine Carley — September 23, 2008 @ 8:26 am
I thought it was just me….. look as if others are having trouble finding the link
Comment by Belinda — September 23, 2008 @ 8:28 am
This article is not accessable.
Comment by Michele — September 23, 2008 @ 8:37 am
I could not get to the article.
Comment by Patti — September 23, 2008 @ 8:43 am
Hey Dave…same goes for me. The link didn’t work. But this actually happend to me last week also when I was trying to view the article about summer camps. When I got to the site, it said there where no articles in that category. Hope you get the bug worked out!
Comment by Nena Swan — September 23, 2008 @ 8:50 am
same problem, link didn’t work. Vicky
Comment by vicky tuttle — September 23, 2008 @ 8:53 am
Link not working
Comment by JG — September 23, 2008 @ 8:57 am
Dave,
We REALLY need this info! Please resend when the link is working.
Thanks.
Comment by Bonita — September 23, 2008 @ 9:02 am
Link did not work…
Comment by Marilyn — September 23, 2008 @ 9:04 am
Dave,
Do you have any advice on how to deal with a teacher who does not accept that your child has Asperger Syndrome and refuses to abide by your request to let you know how the child’s day went. I pick up my son from school every day and in the past his teachers have been accomodating just to say - good day, ok day, or bad day, and let me know what happened on the bad day so that we can talk about it or maybe role play to give him options for dealing with issues that arise. This year his teacher does not want to do that and will side step any issues that arise. I have requested over and over again that she give me an indication of the day but she is uncooperative. The principal would be my next step but I don’t want to cause difficulties for my son in the class room. I had thought of having this request added to his IEP. Any suggestions is really helpful! Thanks for great articles too - awesome!
Comment by Julie Brown — September 23, 2008 @ 9:05 am
Link didn’t work but very interested in this topic!
Comment by Charlene Firchild — September 23, 2008 @ 9:13 am
Same here…link doesn’t work even when I try to open in new window.
Comment by Susan — September 23, 2008 @ 9:25 am
Dave, the link didn’t work for me either. Sounds like just the article I need to read, but cannot get to it. Please re-send a corrected link. Thanks
Comment by Connie — September 23, 2008 @ 9:25 am
Ditto.
Comment by Laura — September 23, 2008 @ 9:39 am
It didn’t work for me, I’ve never had that happen before.
Comment by RONNIE — September 23, 2008 @ 9:58 am
Didnt work for me either.
Comment by Sue — September 23, 2008 @ 10:23 am
didnt work for me either
Comment by Sue — September 23, 2008 @ 10:23 am
This is a first for me also…..the link did not bring up the article.
Comment by Belinda — September 23, 2008 @ 10:41 am
this link didnt work, but its definetly and article i want/need to read!
Comment by Alison — September 23, 2008 @ 10:50 am
Hope you get it sorted Dave
Comment by sue — September 23, 2008 @ 10:52 am
Please re-post when ya get kink worked out. I am very interested in this.
Comment by Michele — September 23, 2008 @ 11:13 am
Please re-post when you get kink worked out. I am very interested in this.
Comment by Michele — September 23, 2008 @ 11:19 am
Good Morning,
Could not get the site open. I truely appreciate all the work you do!
Comment by Theresa Hill — September 23, 2008 @ 11:31 am
Dave, all i see are htnl/ css codes? endif? I hope that gets sorted out.
Comment by geraldine — September 23, 2008 @ 12:35 pm
It does not work
Comment by geraldine — September 23, 2008 @ 12:36 pm
The link didn’t work for me. Can you send me full text? Thanks!
Comment by Kelli — September 23, 2008 @ 1:53 pm
this is the first time i couldnt get the article also.
Comment by amy pena — September 23, 2008 @ 2:47 pm
didn’t work
Comment by Tina Olive — September 23, 2008 @ 2:55 pm
Link doesn’t work.
Comment by carol — September 23, 2008 @ 3:18 pm
link did not come up. Only comments about link not coming up
Comment by Bev Fellows — September 23, 2008 @ 4:21 pm
Didn’t work for me either.
Comment by Bridget King — September 23, 2008 @ 8:08 pm
It needs some work.
Comment by Mary Chouinard — September 23, 2008 @ 9:22 pm
couldn’t get the site to work / open
Comment by kate — September 23, 2008 @ 9:25 pm
I couldn’t open the article a couple of weeks agow about how to help your child’s teacher help your child. Can you send it to me again. Thanks
Comment by Rachel — September 23, 2008 @ 10:01 pm
Dave - link not working, but very interested in topic.
Comment by Saskia — September 24, 2008 @ 12:07 am
I really need an answer to this one, and like everyone else the link didn’t work. Apart from practise practise practise in the family which gets us a little bit further, what else is effective. I don’t feel my boys at 15 and 18 are close, but they can go shopping, not much else . Jane
Comment by Jane — September 24, 2008 @ 1:37 am
Dave link does not work. Dave can you fix it? Just call Bob
Comment by Chris B — September 24, 2008 @ 1:58 am
Hi Dave This link did not work for me either.
Comment by Danielle — September 24, 2008 @ 3:56 am
i cannot open th link.
is there a problem?
Comment by Deb — September 24, 2008 @ 5:20 am
Hi-link did not wofk for me either. Great topic, especially since school has started and we are having so much difficulty helping our 6 yr old sons teachers understand his social challanges and ways they can ease this transition for all. Would love to be able to read!!! -Tobi
Comment by TobiLynn Szchur-Rund — September 24, 2008 @ 7:39 am
The link is not working
Comment by Julie — September 24, 2008 @ 11:46 am
Dave, interested in this subject, but link didn’t work.
Comment by Maxine of Tallahassee FL — September 24, 2008 @ 1:28 pm
Hi - couldn’t access the article yesterday. got the second email just now, can read the comments but unfortunately, still no article.
Comment by Francine — September 24, 2008 @ 3:09 pm
Re The principal would be my next step but I don’t want to cause difficulties for my son in the class room. I had thought of having this request added to his IEP
If the teacher is side stepping then i would do as you said above ask for appoment asap you need this information and whats more it should be given without having too chase teacher grrrr sorrry i would go too head and ask that it be part of his IEP . they need too understand that if somethink happence at school it can have a knock on affect at home and the other way round
( had the same with teacher at my sons school last year in end i called in a local group that works for a/s kids and all that i had asked for was sudenly on the tadle i nearly died of shock ) so maybe you need to push the Biggger Button hope that makes sence am tpying without my glassies
Comment by Chelle — September 24, 2008 @ 3:19 pm
Dave,
Link takes me to the right place but I only get this:
Comment by Jeffrey — September 24, 2008 @ 3:19 pm
This link didn’t work either.
Comment by Connie — September 24, 2008 @ 3:19 pm
(( Link not working for me either
Comment by Chelle — September 24, 2008 @ 3:24 pm
I couldn’t find the link either. I scrolled and read everyone’s comments but nothing from Dave. This is the first time I’ve had this happen. I would agree with others, that the IEP should have the information in it. That is a federal plan that must be followed for our kids. I totally agree with jumping the chain of command when you have already tried the first link. I would also put everything in writing.
Comment by Sally Flores — September 24, 2008 @ 3:26 pm
I still can’t get to the article
Comment by Chris — September 24, 2008 @ 3:27 pm
The title is there, but then only a list of 51 comments. Still no article. Good luck:)
Comment by Coralie — September 24, 2008 @ 3:35 pm
Good article. Can anyone tell me if their Aspie child showed typical social traits before the age of 8? I have a 4 year old that has a diagnosis of Autism but the psychologist that did the diagnosis feels that he will have an Aspergers diagnosis within a couple of years. He seems to notice facial expressions and responds to them accordingly. Will this diminish as he grows older? can anyone lend some experience on this one? Much appreciated.
Comment by Lori Caron — September 24, 2008 @ 3:35 pm
hi dave, i’m still not getting this, even after your email to say that it should now be fixed. thanks, sharon.
Comment by sharon — September 24, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
Link didn’t work. Very interested in this topic!
Comment by Shirleyanne Marelly — September 24, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
Can’t get link either - Thursday PM. Love the contact - keep going, please.
Comment by Philippa — September 24, 2008 @ 3:37 pm
I still don’t get a link that works
Comment by Chris Dumbleton — September 24, 2008 @ 3:38 pm
I still didn’t get todays article. I could really use it, too because my son has problems socially. Can someone send me a copy? My email is myboochiboo@yahoo.com Thanks!
Comment by Jessi — September 24, 2008 @ 3:39 pm
Link not functional, and second posting of link not functioning. Would like info…
Comment by Ginny — September 24, 2008 @ 3:42 pm
Still doesn’t work for me.
Comment by Barb — September 24, 2008 @ 3:43 pm
the link is not working for me either…this is the next day with the ‘quirks’ fixed
Comment by Marci Hastie — September 24, 2008 @ 3:49 pm
My daughter who is 11 years is going though the assessment process they suspect aspbergers I know it is and have suspected since she was 4 years. What I struggle with is that she can control her tantrums and meltdowns within school but has practicaly managed to rip the family apart at home. does other children display this behaviour by controling it until they get home and I have no idea why she is having a tantrum
Comment by jennifer.petcher — September 24, 2008 @ 3:52 pm
this link didn’t work either. I’m very interested in this article, I hope I can read it soon, thanks.
Comment by paola mann — September 24, 2008 @ 3:54 pm
This is in reply to post by Jaana Alunni regarding child care for an aspi child. I’ve had better luck with a privately owned daycare center rather than a corporately owned center with my son. The corporate centers are in it for the money while the privately owned are more in it for the children. They are more willing to work with our concerns and to provide better supervision, communication and patience. Of course you have to be up front prior to signing up about your child’s issues and biggest problem areas. My child goes to school and is in morning and after care, so he has a long day. We are also working with a behavioral pyschologist and occassionally visit a pyschiatrist to help us work on the behavior skills. I hope this helps some. I am not saying that every corporately owned day care is bad but they seem to have a larger enrollment and less time for a child with special needs or issues.
Comment by Theresa — September 24, 2008 @ 3:56 pm
Nope, couldn’t read it this time either!
My son is 9 and still really struggles with most social skills, he was diagnosed with AS a year ago. Most teachers have tried to be supportive but still have unrealistic expectations about how he’ll be with other children.
Keep up the pressure to get people thinking more widely please!
Comment by Judy Sutherland — September 24, 2008 @ 4:07 pm
Link did not work. I just tried it again.
Comment by Mary — September 24, 2008 @ 4:09 pm
Link will not open. Very interested in this topic.
Comment by Kathleen Walton — September 24, 2008 @ 4:09 pm
Very interested in this topic; please repair the link. Thank you.
Comment by Marikay Griffin — September 24, 2008 @ 4:13 pm
could not access the link still i give up
Comment by Anna Standlee — September 24, 2008 @ 4:14 pm
Still cant find the article!!!!
Comment by Tricia Gillbanks — September 24, 2008 @ 4:19 pm
I still can’t see the article. All I am able to view are the comments made about not being able to see the article.
Comment by Barbara Shea — September 24, 2008 @ 4:23 pm
no article to read. can you try to repair the link again…
Comment by Tina Barragan — September 24, 2008 @ 4:23 pm
still not getting the article
Comment by Sandy — September 24, 2008 @ 4:25 pm
Ditto - cannot get article either.
Comment by Cindy — September 24, 2008 @ 4:32 pm
RE: Social traits before the age of 8 . . . My aspie son, now 14, had very, very limited social skills/interaction until he was about 7 or 8 years old. While he would recognize voice inflection and facial expressions, he would hardly speak to anyone, and his vocabulary was practically non-existent until around the age of 5. By the time he was 8 or 9, his vocabulary skills were improving quite a bit. To this day, he doesn’t fully understand the hurtful impact his matter of fact speech has on others. He has made progress, but we are still quite a ways away from unwanted and/or inappropriate behavior. One thing I found helpful is to repeat what he said back to him, exactly as he said it, as a learning tool when I am correcting him. When doing this, there have been times he instantly realizes how “ugly” it sounded and he apologizes, which is very gratifying. Other times, I am able to explain what was not acceptable about his actions or words. I hope this helps.
Comment by Gigi Ivey — September 24, 2008 @ 4:35 pm
OK so I get to this page but when I click on the How to Improve Social Skill link I get nothing.
Comment by Toni — September 24, 2008 @ 4:44 pm
Read the article on bullying which ws to do with over the web but my A.S. grandson 12 3/4 years only does certain things on the computer and as yet has not received any bullying over net. There was an incidence in Year 7 when he started a new school. The teacher asked the class to write down if they had seen anyone been mean to someone else in the class. The whole class had seen someone being mean to my grandson. I wasn’t thrilled with the outcome. The teacher went to another year 7 teacher next door and said that one third of her class had seen my grandson being mean to two boys in her class. She said to me this is the case of the bullied turning into a buully. I then gave her heaps of stuff from the Tony Attwood book but she didn’t believe it or wasn’t interested. After some bad social interactions which weren’t overly so in my eyes he was put on daily report for six months. We went to the principal and he told us my grandson would be taken off in six weeks but he wasn’t. The principal said that in his expertise any one that keeps on daily report sooner or later knows where he has done wrong and doesn’t reoffend again. In Year 8 he had a different teacher and gets on well with her. Also she has started things happening with additional help who have put me onto C.A.R.D. and now we are having an ADOS diagnosis which will help him at school and his court hearing as she wants to still live with his grandparents.
Comment by Lillian Carde — September 24, 2008 @ 4:47 pm
Julie - You are your sons advocate - tell his teacher that you feel that you have given her ample opportunity to provide you a simple indication of how the day went, and you will take it up with the principle. If you dont see a change or if you feel that your son is being punished - change teachers ! Dont have him suffer. I had a simular situation where my sons teacher snubbed any suggestions on how to motivate my son to participate. If your principle is non responsive - go to the superintendent. Sounds like this teacher needs some training.
Comment by Jana Moffat — September 24, 2008 @ 4:57 pm
that web site up there about secound something is totaly bazare!
Comment by Patty — September 24, 2008 @ 5:04 pm
couldnt see the article dev
Comment by parul lakhanpal — September 24, 2008 @ 5:53 pm
couldnt see the article
Comment by parul lakhanpal — September 24, 2008 @ 5:53 pm
Hello David
I could not find the article on social skills. Something is not working well.
Best regards
Victoria
Comment by Victoria de Leon — September 24, 2008 @ 5:56 pm
Dave, all I see is two of these:
Comment by geraldine — September 24, 2008 @ 6:01 pm
Hi Dave, I don’t get the article either and this is your second attempt. I also get two of these
Comment by Nile — September 24, 2008 @ 7:12 pm
This still does not work. I see the same as #63 above.
Comment by Karen Walker — September 24, 2008 @ 7:23 pm
not available - only received comments from those who didn’t receive it. Bev
Comment by Bev Fellows — September 24, 2008 @ 7:55 pm
Link still doesn´t work. I´d really like to read this article. Hope you can get it working soon.
Comment by Esther — September 24, 2008 @ 8:00 pm
Dave still can not read article.
Comment by Bonnie — September 24, 2008 @ 8:38 pm
my daughter is 27 yrs old and noone ever heard of aspergers when she was growing up. she still is limited in social areas. loner. she is single and would like tohave a mate.
Comment by diane — September 24, 2008 @ 9:03 pm
Dave Greetings from Reno Nevada! As of tonight still unable to get the link up, I know you have working to get it correct, look forward to the article as I always do. Kurt
Comment by Kurt Lammers — September 24, 2008 @ 9:06 pm
I still can not see the article.
Comment by Rhonda — September 24, 2008 @ 9:19 pm
The link doesn’t work. I couldn’t bring up the article. Please let me know when it is back up. I want to know when it is back up so I can read it. I am very interested in reading it.
Comment by Stephanie Mena — September 25, 2008 @ 12:27 am
still cannot view article although can view comments
Comment by JG — September 25, 2008 @ 1:39 am
Couldn’t open it even second time around. Please resend.
Comment by Bryony Evans — September 25, 2008 @ 1:40 am
Sorry I still cannot read this article
Comment by Gita Savage — September 25, 2008 @ 2:22 am
Still no article just comments
Comment by amanda deards — September 25, 2008 @ 3:43 am
Probably a blessing in disguise about the link not getting through to you all. I say this because I believe Dave Angel is milking it with regard to Aspergers. I say this because on one of his websites, the words Aspergers Disease are mentioned and any clever person knows that a disease kills one and as Aspergers is not a killer, it is not a disease and I take offence at that.
Also, it is appalling that somebody charges money to be told information that is really not that brilliant. What I mean is information is free for all from a Paediatrician Consultant, books from the Library and people should not be paying Dave Angel (if that is really his name!!!!) for information received. Anyway, rant over! I am welcome to my opinion and that is it!
Comment by disgruntled from new zealand — September 25, 2008 @ 3:44 am
I am still not able to open article.
Comment by Theresa Van Horn — September 25, 2008 @ 8:15 am
didnt get the article.
Comment by Roberta — September 25, 2008 @ 9:19 am
Hello Dave, I also cannot see the atricle which is supposed to be at the top of this page, however the comments section is accessable. Thanks for helping us out the way that you do with your articles!
Comment by Julie — September 25, 2008 @ 10:05 am
if it helps … this is what I see where the article is supposed to be:
Comment by Julie — September 25, 2008 @ 10:06 am
I have an 11 yr old with asd- HIs social skills are non existent. I am told by the school they do not have to provide social skills intervention as it is not an educational item. Also they have told me if I have any teaching methods to help them they will apply them but their teaching methods are for learning disabled children and he is very bright. any ideas??
Comment by MARGARET — September 25, 2008 @ 11:55 am
The comments are online but not the article.
Comment by Betty Wilson — September 25, 2008 @ 1:14 pm
still not able to see article, hope you sort out the problem soon
Comment by lesley — September 25, 2008 @ 1:19 pm
Noyt able to see article
Comment by lesley — September 25, 2008 @ 1:20 pm
My son is 12 yrs old & started middle school. He was just diagnoised with asb, which didn’t surprise me. After 3 weeks of school, I had to take him out to be homeschool. Because of his medical we have been homeless for 6yrs, but God has been there. We have had more good teachers than bad. But, I couldn’t let my son be kept in a situation that was hurting him. I went the thru the channels but couldn’t get him self contained because he was mainstreamed before. All I know is I can’t give up on him and let the doctors, schools and society do what they want. Not when I already know what is setting everything off. Sometimes parents just have to be listened to or stubborn as my momma tells me.
Comment by Debra — September 25, 2008 @ 3:39 pm
Yes, you can send me a version of the article to my mail box, I’d appreciate it.
Thank you!
–
Daniela
Comment by Daniela — September 25, 2008 @ 7:22 pm
I’m still not getting the article either. I’m really interested in the article.
Jamie
Comment by JamieM — September 25, 2008 @ 8:29 pm
For everyone that can’t get into the article, underneath the heading is “Filed under Uncategorized” (really small writing). Click on “Uncategorized” and it will take you to it.
Comment by Tracey Jenkins — September 26, 2008 @ 3:00 am
I have three children with Asp..my daughter who is 16yrs. is highly functional and test high but performance is minimal..does do hw or sometimes classwork..have her on an IEP, but since she’s over 14 they include her..she is socially a wreck
and is very blunt when speaking to her..she gets many people frustrated with her. At home she stays her room and will come out to watch TV but if things don’t go her way hybernates.. I have tried to get her involved in many activities but
if something doesn’t go her way she’s done and now refuses to go any where she doesn’t ( I believe feel safe)..she does not like crowds..
I homeschooled her for 1 yr..went well for her.
I almost went crazy..she is not easy to deal with..any suggestions…she’s been in counseling
for 10 + yrs.. deb
Comment by Deb — September 26, 2008 @ 7:56 am
just to correct myself she does not to hw or cw..
Comment by Deb — September 26, 2008 @ 7:57 am
Dave I could not getthe blog at my end either. I usually can get them.
Comment by Julie Bliven — September 28, 2008 @ 4:35 pm
My link did not work either.
Comment by Melinda Shannon — September 29, 2008 @ 11:17 am
hi dave s till can’t get article,first try 9-23-08, and today,can see comments. i really need this one. please keep working on it.i really appreciate your work,has helped our family alot.
Comment by amy pena — September 30, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
Julie - (I’m a parent of an Aspie, not a teacher) Some teachers are tempermental and resistant to authority, just like the general population. The teacher may feel that you are “telling” her/him how to do their job and insisting that s/he report to you. Instead, try to build consensus with the teacher - i.e. I’d like for us to work together to improve “Justin’s” classroom performance and behavior. Some people respond negatively to authority, and have to be approached more delicately to achieve desirable results. However, be too delicate and you won’t get what you need (but do you really need a daily report?). Make the teacher feel valued by complimenting her/him whenever you see that their impact has benefitted your son and you’ll likely see her/him more willing to share and communicate with you. If this fails, you will have to seek assistance from the principal to reassign your son to another class. You’ll usually get better results by keeping your cool and approaching teachers & administrators in a calm, respectful manner (even if you vehemently disagree with them). More than anything, I’ve learned that being a “helicopter” parent, trying to know every detail of every day, is not beneficial to you or him. This is “Justin’s” journey, not yours.
Comment by tammie — October 1, 2008 @ 9:46 am
Hi dave, i am really in need of some advice. my son who is 12 years ld was dianosed last year with ASD and Aspergers. In 2003 i was told he had ADHD. I am still getting my head round him being the way he is. I have done a fair bit of reading since last year trying to understand this condition that he has. I feel failed by the system. my son has had a lot of dealings by all sorts of professionals who can not work my son out. Who have tried to help but failed. My sons dad passed away 3 years ago. i have no family around me its me and my two boys the oldest being 14. My son has been telling fibs from a young age. stealing for the last two years. what breaks my heart is he dont care about no one. He says nasty things on a daily basis, swears. He is so out of control. He was excluded from his main stream school aweek and a half ago. It was today his fourth day at this other place a referrel unit for naughty kids or kids with problems and i was phoned up and asked to collect him. when i got there he would not talk to me and tell me what the problem was. anyway when we got home he told me that he had felt annoyed with a certain teacher because of what he had said he had done and my son got angry and threw a screwed up piece of paper at the teacher
When asked what was wrong he refused to say what had upset him. Now this has been going on a long time where anything can set him of. He has his own social worker he also sees a pyschrist excuse my spelling once a month but sit in front of him and says nothing for the whole hour but then with other people he says really nasty things about them. I have thought long and hard about how much more i can take of this.I am ready to give up i have got to the stage where i am really starting to hate him. I am being told he cant help the way he is behaving. But im not so sure. Everything you tell him not to do he does and has a answer for everything to. He is not silly he is like a genuis remembers everything that why i am finding it hard to believe he is not doing it on purpose. Everything is a battle from when he gets up untill he goes to bed. I feel mentaly and phyisaly however you spell it drained. I am about to have a break down. This child is ruling my life and ruining it. Even the school speacil needs teacher said it is so diffcult as my son is very hard to read you can never tell what he is going to do. I feel its almost like he enjoys making everyones life sad and difficult and get a kick out of it. He never ever has shown remorse for anything he has done. Please help me in anyway you can. Dont no how much longer i am willing to care for someone who hurts me and insults me everyday. Its not only that but living with a theive thats what he is he will steal from me and his brother and couldnt care less but if the shoe were on the other foot and we touched anything of his he would scream, shout and swear at us but he dont care about hurting me or his brothers feelings. Help.
Comment by Sonia — October 1, 2008 @ 1:20 pm
I cannot pull up the article. How about others?
Comment by chris — October 3, 2008 @ 8:32 pm
Nothing… nothing!!!
Comment by Kelli — October 6, 2008 @ 6:55 am
Hey everyone
I have two children with Asperger’s and a third without. I have spoonfed my children’s school, information on my children’s disability but am continually told, ‘it is not the Asperger’s, but the behaviour that we have trouble with’ - very frustrating as the more I learn about ASD, the more frustrated I become with Australia’s education system. Seems that UK and USA are way in advance of us in understanding ASD and supporting students at mainstream school.
Comment by Hilary — October 12, 2008 @ 6:28 pm