I think my husband has Aspergers can you give me some advice please?
Many adults are diagnosed later in life with Asperger‘s. Husbands are often diagnosed after learning about Asperger’s through their child’s diagnosis. This adult diagnosis may explain many issues within a couple’s marriage. Relationships are work for everyone. Relationships that are complicated by Asperger’s Syndrome can be extremely difficult. There is hope for your marriage.
The first step is obtaining the diagnosis of Asperger’s. A husband with suspected Asperger’s syndrome may be unwilling to accept the possibility, making life that much more difficult for the family. Most of the time, however, learning the characteristics of Asperger’s are an eye-opening experience that explains the person’s struggles throughout life. This diagnosis can help your husband, and your marriage, get back on the right foot.
In the meantime, there are books available to assist the wife of an Asperger’s husband. For example, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge? Practical Steps to Saving You and Your Relationship.” by Kathy Marshack Ph.D.; Foreword by Stephen Shore Ed.D, will help you learn how to take control of your relationship and find new ways to look at the challenges of living with Asperger’s Syndrome.
While you are waiting to learn if you have an Asperger’s husband, there are things you can do to make life a bit more positive.
- Conquer loneliness if at all possible. Spouses often complain of being left alone either emotionally or literally. Find your own interests or hobbies to focus on when you are feeling lonely. This is not meant as avoidance. It is important that you continue to enjoy shared interests and time together whenever your husband permits.
- Acceptance of your circumstances can be quite freeing. Accept the things you cannot change and work to make the rest more manageable.
- Educate yourself about Asperger’s. Learn all you can about the condition, its symptoms, and the treatments. Education is power.
- Focus on your husband’s strengths. This will make you feel better and it will give your husband some much-needed confidence.
- Find help for your husband’s challenges. Medications and therapy could make a difference in your quality of life as a couple, as well as his personal well being.
- Join a local Autism support group. There are often sub groups for adults and spouses. These groups are filled with people who have been in your position. They can help you navigate the condition.
- Counseling can be beneficial for your husband and for you. Counseling can give you both an outlet for the frustrations within your relationship. Individual counseling, as well as couples counseling are highly recommended for newly diagnosed adults and their spouses.
Thanks for reading,