More from Matthew Readman

Filed under:Other — posted by admin on February 15, 2009 @ 5:01 pm

Hi there – It’s Dave Angel with a quick update …

Several weeks ago now I published a great article by Matthew Readman (a young man diagnosed with Aspergers) that was well received by so many of you. Matthew wrote to thank me and so with his permission I have attached his thank you letter below, and also some more information on Matthew by his mum.

And the really exciting thing is that Matthew has agreed to become a guest writer for the new Aspergers website which is due to be completed next month – and the plan is for him to become a regular contributor on the site; which I think will be amazing.

Here’s Matthew’s thank you letter …

Dear Mr. Angel
I wanted to thank you and all the awesome people out there who wrote such great comments about my article. I’m so happy that my words can help so many kids who are just like me. My dream is to be a spokesperson for Autism. I have read many books and seen many movies about Asbergers, but I found that they were mostly from parents or doctor’s point of view. I would like to speak on behalf of the kids who are haunted by these problems. I had read that there was a higher chance of a child committing suicide with asbergers than a child who was not diagnosed. I want the message to get out to these kids to never give up. I also want to thank Rachel and Myles Blake for their amazing words of support and asked if we could be friends. I would love to have new friends even if they were pen pals. My mother said they could email me and we could talk this way, but I don’t know how to contact them.

So if you ever wanted a guest speaker for anything you are doing, I would love to help.
Thank you again for supporting me and allowing me to speak.

Yours Truly

Matthew Readman

And here’s what his mum wrote …

I thought I would give some background on Matthew so you can understand him better.

Matthew has been able to keep an A average. With the help of the school and the Director of Special Education Matthew attends the school for gifted children once a week to expand the way Matthew thinks. During his education assessment when we found out Matt has Asbergers when he was six, Matthew had a 3 day testing of his abilities and found out he had an IQ of 148. He was always able to express himself like an adult but not as a child. This is where Matthew socialization really hurt him. He could never understand his peers which led Matthew to be bullied up to grade 4. At this time Matt and I discussed sharing his disability with his class. Matthew stood up in front of his class (by himself) and told them all about his condition and that he does not at times understand why people ask like they do. After this Matt school mates accepted him better. They actually started standing up for him when bullies came around telling them Matt does not understand so leave him alone. He now gives this talk at the beginning of every school year to his class mates which helps him. The best part other kids with other disabilities are now following in his foot steps and discussing their disabilities to their class because they see how the bullying has stopped for Matt.

Matthew has achieved high marks in his writing in school. He can now out write me. He has already learned how to put a resume together and his use of words are unbelievable. (even I sometimes have to look up the meanings of the words he uses). I try to express to Matthew its better to dumb things down because not everyone knows what you are saying especially kids his own age so he is not a target. Matthew is always afraid of doing oral presentations. He rocks side to side when he talks because he is so nervous. For example Matt had to do a 10 minute oral presentation for ancient history. He ended up making a movie of him talking with clips and slide show through out it. The kids in his class thought it was great and kept their attention through out it. Now Matt makes movies instead. This way he is a lot calmer when he talks and can make jokes without worrying anyone will make fun of him.

The issues facing him now are:

gym
recess
puberty
girls
studying
his future goals ( he’s already worrying about his career)

I thought you should know this Dave so you know what you are getting yourself into (LOL)

Nansi Readman

comments (19)

19 comments »

My son 11 is very worried about his career. He’s determined to take any after school job he can get once he turns 15. He really (wants)needs to start focusing on his career.

Comment by Carolin — February 15, 2009 @ 5:33 pm
Your “background information” about your son, Matthew could have been about my son, Matthew. My son’s pre-school IQ was in the same range and his vocabulary and reading abilities were that extraordinary.

Comment by Judith Boland-Caruso — February 15, 2009 @ 6:00 pm
It is so great to see Matthew educating his peers on aspergers, i have found most adults dont want to understand.They think that the kids look normal so treat them like the rest. As we know this isnt true and by making the kids understand will make for a more educated generation!
Thank you to all that educate us on asperges and i wish Matthew all the luck on his journey in life!
Tracey

Comment by TRACEY — February 15, 2009 @ 6:04 pm
My son is now 2o and attending college.. ( and living on campus !!).something I didn’t think was going to happen.

High school was very difficult ( even for kids without aspergers)….I have noticed that each year he becomes more self sufficent and confident.

He has always been a kind and caring person who is well liked, but he still is unable to process the social language and is missing out on many opportunites to make friends.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks

Comment by Johanna — February 15, 2009 @ 6:28 pm
Its great to hear all these things, Tracey I have to agree , I had a group of school helpers sayign oh we just treat her like everyone else , like they are being generous and doing her favour , and whilst i cannot speak for any other person, I can say that you must treat them differently according to who they are then you get the best from them .

With regard to Mathew its great he told his class mates.My daughter attempted suicide at 9 things were that bad in her then currently undiaganosed state ( heaven knows i tried to get someone to see things weren’t quite ok).Later some suggested to announce it to the class and in my mind that would have hung her out to dry and left her wide open for worse bullying , however as you all well know these kids as they get older will simply do what they feel is right if they can see no logic in your boundaries and sometimes that can be a blessing as once she told other kids in senior school too all the bullying died down apart from one little horror but even now if its a new class or new school she tells them shes even had to tell the teaachers and as you say other kids ae sticking up for her sayign especially to supply teachers , “excuse me please she has autism dont shout at her like that !” so incredibly touching in a teen kind of way .Well done Mathew for being so brave and sharing with the rest of us , as I am merely parent I often rely on my daughter who is almost 15 to tell me exactly whats going on in her head and how she perceives the world and why , so its great that people like you who have the condition educate us so that we can better understand .

Comment by helen hanson — February 15, 2009 @ 11:20 pm
I’m curious about what exactly Mathew says to his class at the beginning of the year. I think this might be a good thing for my son to do next year. Can he please write an example script of what he says to his classmates? (my son is 7 with Asperger’s…any hints for how to make it appropriate for 7 year olds?)
Thanks,
Nina

Comment by Nina Martin — February 16, 2009 @ 6:41 am
I work with a 15yr old Aspie, and have for 2yrs now, What Mathew wrote was very helpful to me, and working with this young man, who is very intelligent, and differently unique, which I enjoy…thank you…joyce

Comment by Joyce — February 16, 2009 @ 7:54 am
I totally agree with the comment about people saying, “oh, we treat them like everyone else” this statement infuriates me to no end. they are not “just like everyone else” they are extremely special, and gifted, and talented beyond words. I do ABA therapy with kids on the spectrum, in addition to having 3 kids of my own, all on the spectrum. (2 with aspergers, 1 with autism)and there is no way to treat them like your typical child, I will say however, that my son with autism is often commented by people as being “so normal” this is a dangerous assumption, because he may not do too much big, elaborate stimming anymore, but you need to look for more subtle signs that he is having trouble. I try to get as much out there as possible so everyone can be more educated about the entire spectrum of autism.

Comment by Stephanie — February 16, 2009 @ 9:21 am
Matthew sounds like a truly amazing young boy. I hope he follows on in his ambition to become a spokesperson for Aspergers as most people just don’t understand. I have a 6 year old boy who has recently been diagnosed with aspergers and it is great to have another young persons point of view as Matthew says all too often we get the doctors or parents view, these children need a voice and Matthew sounds perfect. God Bless

Comment by Laura Cameron — February 16, 2009 @ 11:34 am
Hi,
It’s just wonderful to hear Matthew’s story and to know that he is doing so well at school. My own experiences with the education of my own grandson are not so positive.
He is almost eight now and has struggled to stay in a school system. so many teachers are happy to point out how different he is but they are not willing to treat him any differently and expect him to change and be like his peers. We have at last managed to get him a support assistant who is learning on the job, not ideal but better than no support at all. I think that things are beginning to change but as the comment above mentions so many adults out there don’t appear to want to understand. It is such a shame because these children have so much to offer and we us non aspergers people could and should learn a lot from them. I wish Matthew all the very best for the future and look forward to any further articles he writes.

Comment by lesley — February 17, 2009 @ 10:27 am
My son is 10 years old and was diagnosed when he was 3 with AS so I dove into learning all I could to help him as an individual. One thing I’ve learned now having two other kids is that ALL children need to be treated as unique individuals, I’m the Sunday school teacher at our church now and I see UNIQUE in working with every child. Having my son with AS and learning about HIM has taught me to keep my mind open when I deal with any person period. When a teacher or say people at church see how I treat my son and my other two angels, they tell me I have the patience of a saint. I say Not really it wears on me too but all children’s personalities should be learned in order to help them succeed.
It’s nice to read about Matthew because it shows that there are alternative ways to deal with difficult issues, like the movies for example. Kudos to you Matthew for working hard and speaking up for others.
As for the career thing, my son has already decided it’s the military for him, he decided that 3 years ago for sure. Now he’s focused on which branch of the military he’ll go into. He’s an excellent artist so I’m trying to give him new ideas on job possiblitities in the military that involve drawing. Cross your fingers…I support this career choice because I know if he’s fought on the topic that he’d draw away from me so I just try to OPEN his mind to alternative options with in the military realm.

Comment by micki — February 17, 2009 @ 11:52 am
My son escaped bullying during p.e. in grades 7-8 through the kindness of a counselor who found him jobs to do for the art teacher. My son went on to arts high school and Cooper Union in New York where he graduated from their four year program in painting. He is now an artist residing and teaching in New York. He gets plenty of exercise walking there!

Comment by Margaret Brittingham — February 17, 2009 @ 1:19 pm
Hi Matthew
I have a 12 year old grandson who has AS and I find your articles very informative.

They help me to understand my grandson better and I thank you for your input.

I would love to contact you by email if possible.

sincerely

Mrs Barbara Little
country NSW

Comment by Barbara Little — February 17, 2009 @ 7:06 pm
I recently had to step in and help my 14 yr old AS son at school as he was being bullied. Other boys were teasing him that he was gay. My son had favorite class folders that these boys thought were “gay”. This is one thing I think young AS boys are tagged with because they can be innocent and still child-like in their interests. I have had enough of the school bullying ( grades 3rd through 8th ) I talked to the Vice Principle reminding him of the consequences of not addressing the constant bullying. I am also trying to transfer my son to an alternative school with smaller classes and only 3 teachers for all subjects. It is nearly impossible for me to educate 6 teachers daily on the Universe of an Asperger Kid. I try , but my son is not interested in the social side of Jr. High anyway. He hates the Pep rallies ( too loud)

Comment by Gail — February 18, 2009 @ 2:09 am
my son is such a picky eater. I never knew that it had to do with his AS. He is 12. It is soooooooooooo hard. I have enjoyed reading these blogs as i dont know where else to turn somedays.

Comment by Michelle — February 19, 2009 @ 1:08 am
Matthew, I think you are amazing. You would be a wonderful role model for other kids like my 6 yr. old grandson to help him and others understand their AS. He would know he wasn’t the only one and that would help immensely. I would love to be your pen pal.

Comment by Becky Mitchell — February 21, 2009 @ 3:24 pm
My 11 year old had the same difficulties as Matthew. For the past 3 years when he starts school, his classroom teacher facilitates a discussion about hidden disabilities. The talk always includes a discussion about how the kids would want to be treated, how they would handle someone bullying one of their friends; and how they are all different in some way. It’s the uniqueness that each one brings to the group; they do an exercise where they have to write something positive about each other. His school is small, so his classmates are like a very large group of siblings which makes the dynamics more interesting. He knows he has to work harder at some things (facial expression & tone of voice are hard for him to interpret) and he still gets very frustrated and angry and hurt when others instigate his melt downs.
A thought..and perhaps I may have missed it somewhere earlier on … some sort of a group for our kids to be pen (e-mail) pals ?
Like Matthew, they all have so much to teach the rest of the world, I think it’s wonderful that he is stepping forward in such a positive way!

Comment by Cass — February 21, 2009 @ 11:34 pm
Matthew, Could you please post what it is you say in your speech to your classmates? I would be interested in how you explain it in your own words. My son is 9 and just starting to realize that he is getting teased for “being different.”

Comment by Kelly Tuck — February 22, 2009 @ 3:00 am
Please pass my email address to Matthew Readman.
I have a 14 year old son with Autism/ADHD who would love a pen pal.

Cheers,

Stu

Comment by Stu — September 17, 2009 @ 11:46 pm