More from Matthew Readman http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/more-from-matthew-readman-2 Aspergers Syndrome-Aspergers-Aspergers Disease-Aspergers Disorder-Autism Aspergers-ASD-Asperger Syndrome-Asperger-Asbergers-Asbergers Syndrome-Asberger Syndrome-Asberger-Autistic-Autistic Children-Autism Tue, 27 Jul 2010 20:23:49 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 More from Matthew Readman http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/more-from-matthew-readman-2/comment-page-1#comment-8382 Peter Attwood Sat, 23 May 2009 22:46:27 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/?p=410#comment-8382 Sorry for Rachel's despair, but it really is not justified. It's tough being an aspie, but I wouldn't be any other way. The biggest advantage is that being an outsider gives the chance, not necessarily taken it's true, to understand the world as it is. You have to be outside the latrine to smell it. The poor, the hungry and thirsty, the sick, and the imprisoned see it as it is, as Jesus made clear (Matthew 25). The "War on Terror" is known for what it is by those tortured at Bagram and bombed with white phosphorus in their villages, not by those doing these things and those who support them. The Jews knew what Nazism was better than anyone else. The zeks in the camps alone really understood Stalin. Disabled kids and their parents know best how the educational bureaucracy works. It's a severe mercy, but real, for aspies to be confronted by such reality, and the first duty of parents is not to join the world in tormenting them into taking the blue pill. There's plenty of comfort for aspies when their parents or anyone else listens, talks truth, and strictly withholds the mushroom food the rest of the world serves. I didn't get much of that growing up, but I'm grateful for the little I did get. It's clean water in a foul desert. Sorry for Rachel’s despair, but it really is not justified. It’s tough being an aspie, but I wouldn’t be any other way.

The biggest advantage is that being an outsider gives the chance, not necessarily taken it’s true, to understand the world as it is. You have to be outside the latrine to smell it. The poor, the hungry and thirsty, the sick, and the imprisoned see it as it is, as Jesus made clear (Matthew 25). The “War on Terror” is known for what it is by those tortured at Bagram and bombed with white phosphorus in their villages, not by those doing these things and those who support them. The Jews knew what Nazism was better than anyone else. The zeks in the camps alone really understood Stalin. Disabled kids and their parents know best how the educational bureaucracy works. It’s a severe mercy, but real, for aspies to be confronted by such reality, and the first duty of parents is not to join the world in tormenting them into taking the blue pill.

There’s plenty of comfort for aspies when their parents or anyone else listens, talks truth, and strictly withholds the mushroom food the rest of the world serves. I didn’t get much of that growing up, but I’m grateful for the little I did get. It’s clean water in a foul desert.

]]> More from Matthew Readman http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/more-from-matthew-readman-2/comment-page-1#comment-8361 Tammy Harris Fri, 22 May 2009 04:47:50 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/?p=410#comment-8361 I to feel like Rachel. My son is 17 years old, we were told Dec 07' that he has AS. He has such anxiety that he went from a straight A student to F's. He is no longer in school, he started to school on-line, but he has become so consumed with his love for computer programming that he cannot concentrate on anything else. He is taking Atterall that is suppose to help him to concentrate. He now will not leave his room, only to get something to eat, drink, and go to the bathroom. At one point he was obsessively clean, every hair on his head had to be combed perfectly. He now has turned the other direction and I have to beg him to take a bath, the body odor is horrible. He does not get any exercise, does not go outside of his room, has eating issues, and goes from happy to sad in just a matter of seconds. But on the other hand as Matthew said, he is perfectly happy if you do not bother him. If you leave him in his room to his computer and his programming. If you talk about computers and make everything about computers things are mostly ok, except for him being totally confined to his room. I fear for his health! We are selling our home and moving, he tells us we are ruining his life, that we have given him nothing, and that he hates us. I have not been able to hug him since he was about seven years old, as each year goes by things just get worse and worse! He is very angry, and very hurtful with the way he speaks to me. I have tried everything that I can think of to help him to be happy. He has no friends, no one to talk to but my husband and I, He has gone to the therapist but is not willing to talk much with him so it's difficult to work with him. Some days he's fine, but most days he's not. His clock is way messed up some days he is up all night, some days he is up all day. I just cannot continue to live life this way, the guilt of not being able to give him whatever it is that he needs is killing me. Matthew, I do not know if you could write him and see if you could help me to help him. That might be asking too much!!! I just do not know where to turn. Maybe it's I who needs to understand, I just can't seem to get anywhere! I to feel like Rachel. My son is 17 years old, we were told Dec 07′ that he has AS. He has such anxiety that he went from a straight A student to F’s. He is no longer in school, he started to school on-line, but he has become so consumed with his love for computer programming that he cannot concentrate on anything else. He is taking Atterall that is suppose to help him to concentrate. He now will not leave his room, only to get something to eat, drink, and go to the bathroom. At one point he was obsessively clean, every hair on his head had to be combed perfectly. He now has turned the other direction and I have to beg him to take a bath, the body odor is horrible. He does not get any exercise, does not go outside of his room, has eating issues, and goes from happy to sad in just a matter of seconds. But on the other hand as Matthew said, he is perfectly happy if you do not bother him. If you leave him in his room to his computer and his programming. If you talk about computers and make everything about computers things are mostly ok, except for him being totally confined to his room. I fear for his health! We are selling our home and moving, he tells us we are ruining his life, that we have given him nothing, and that he hates us. I have not been able to hug him since he was about seven years old, as each year goes by things just get worse and worse! He is very angry, and very hurtful with the way he speaks to me. I have tried everything that I can think of to help him to be happy. He has no friends, no one to talk to but my husband and I, He has gone to the therapist but is not willing to talk much with him so it’s difficult to work with him. Some days he’s fine, but most days he’s not. His clock is way messed up some days he is up all night, some days he is up all day. I just cannot continue to live life this way, the guilt of not being able to give him whatever it is that he needs is killing me.
Matthew, I do not know if you could write him and see if you could help me to help him. That might be asking too much!!! I just do not know where to turn. Maybe it’s I who needs to understand, I just can’t seem to get anywhere!

]]> More from Matthew Readman http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/more-from-matthew-readman-2/comment-page-1#comment-8204 Rachel Fri, 08 May 2009 09:25:56 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/?p=410#comment-8204 It doesn't give me any hope at all, how does a parent support a child who feels this way yet gets no comfort from speaking or being with them. Reading this piece made me feel overwhelmingly sad. Any ideas from anyone on how to help in these situations? What does someone with Asbergers want from a parent when they are feeling this way? (Mum to 12 year old who currently locks himself away as he finds all social relationships difficult) It doesn’t give me any hope at all, how does a parent support a child who feels this way yet gets no comfort from speaking or being with them. Reading this piece made me feel overwhelmingly sad. Any ideas from anyone on how to help in these situations? What does someone with Asbergers want from a parent when they are feeling this way? (Mum to 12 year old who currently locks himself away as he finds all social relationships difficult)

]]> More from Matthew Readman http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/more-from-matthew-readman-2/comment-page-1#comment-8196 Kelli Martin Thu, 07 May 2009 13:02:16 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/?p=410#comment-8196 Caroline, we are in the same boat as you.....Not being able to afford to join the site. I hope also that Dave will not cut off all communications from Matthew by only posting them on the site. Reading about his thoughts really gives me hope for the future of my son. Caroline, we are in the same boat as you…..Not being able to afford to join the site. I hope also that Dave will not cut off all communications from Matthew by only posting them on the site. Reading about his thoughts really gives me hope for the future of my son.

]]> More from Matthew Readman http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/more-from-matthew-readman-2/comment-page-1#comment-8170 caroline dawson Sun, 03 May 2009 20:58:16 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/?p=410#comment-8170 great writing.I love your writing nut cnat afford to join the site yet. I hope David will be able to post your insights on this section again. You make my son's feelings come into works. Its like a mirror. thanks. Caroline great writing.I love your writing nut cnat afford to join the site yet. I hope David will be able to post your insights on this section again. You make my son’s feelings come into works. Its like a mirror. thanks.
Caroline

]]> More from Matthew Readman http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/more-from-matthew-readman-2/comment-page-1#comment-8164 Jennifer Sat, 02 May 2009 20:41:04 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/?p=410#comment-8164 matthew- your article was so inspiring, my son sam is 7, diagnosed w/asp 3 years ago. He so wants to make friends and have a "real party" and play w/the neighborhood kids, but I watch his 5 year old brother play w/them, and sam just doesn't seem to get any of the games, or when someone is teasing him or telling him to do something, he does it, and it makes me feel sad that he doesn't understan they are teasing him(even if it is just for fun) he doesn't get it-so he goes in his room, his "safe place" and either watches his favorite tv show, or plays his nintendo game . the same game all the time, pokemon, which he can control and use his own rules. I always try to get him to play with me, but he says he wants to be by himself, which i know is not the cse, and he would love to go to a friend's house. it's nice to get an inside view for when he gets older, since pretty much of what your talking about is probably how he feels now. keep up the good work. i look forward to reading your articles.....thank you from all the parents with young kids with aspi, or any other type on the spectrum, for making us so aware of things that books can't help you with. matthew-
your article was so inspiring, my son sam is 7, diagnosed w/asp 3 years ago. He so wants to make friends and have a “real party” and play w/the neighborhood kids, but I watch his 5 year old brother play w/them, and sam just doesn’t seem to get any of the games, or when someone is teasing him or telling him to do something, he does it, and it makes me feel sad that he doesn’t understan they are teasing him(even if it is just for fun) he doesn’t get it-so he goes in his room, his “safe place” and either watches his favorite tv show, or plays his nintendo game . the same game all the time, pokemon, which he can control and use his own rules. I always try to get him to play with me, but he says he wants to be by himself, which i know is not the cse, and he would love to go to a friend’s house. it’s nice to get an inside view for when he gets older, since pretty much of what your talking about is probably how he feels now.
keep up the good work. i look forward to reading your articles…..thank you from all the parents with young kids with aspi, or any other type on the spectrum, for making us so aware of things that books can’t help you with.

]]> More from Matthew Readman http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/more-from-matthew-readman-2/comment-page-1#comment-8155 Clarice Kloezeman Thornton Fri, 01 May 2009 00:27:25 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/?p=410#comment-8155 Oh Matthew - this is so typical of how my almost 18 year old daughter lives - except for one big thing: she does NOT prefer to be in her own world. She WANTS to be with friends, she WANTS to have fun like other teenagers, and she WANTS to feel wanted. She simply cannot bear the thought that her online and game "friends" are her only friends, and she is becoming increasingly despondent. How do you cope with the pain? How do you manage to go to school, or work or deal with life outside the computer? Her pain and sorrow are so great that she is giving up on school with only 6 weeks to go. Her peers are all graduating and she will be left at the school without the comfort of people she knows and calls friends. No one ever calls her, invites her anywhere, or includes her in any of their activities, even though she desperately wants to. She is stunningly beautiful, yet she has no one to go to the prom with. She doesn't have the courage to approach anyone, join anything, or even phone the few people she knows. She is so unhappy - how do you get past this pain and find a way to enjoy life? She says she is a social person trapped in an Aspie mind. Oh Matthew – this is so typical of how my almost 18 year old daughter lives – except for one big thing: she does NOT prefer to be in her own world. She WANTS to be with friends, she WANTS to have fun like other teenagers, and she WANTS to feel wanted. She simply cannot bear the thought that her online and game “friends” are her only friends, and she is becoming increasingly despondent. How do you cope with the pain? How do you manage to go to school, or work or deal with life outside the computer? Her pain and sorrow are so great that she is giving up on school with only 6 weeks to go. Her peers are all graduating and she will be left at the school without the comfort of people she knows and calls friends. No one ever calls her, invites her anywhere, or includes her in any of their activities, even though she desperately wants to. She is stunningly beautiful, yet she has no one to go to the prom with. She doesn’t have the courage to approach anyone, join anything, or even phone the few people she knows. She is so unhappy – how do you get past this pain and find a way to enjoy life? She says she is a social person trapped in an Aspie mind.

]]> More from Matthew Readman http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/more-from-matthew-readman-2/comment-page-1#comment-8151 Julie Queensen Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:17:31 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/?p=410#comment-8151 Thanks for your insights, Matthew.And thanks for posting it, Dave. I don't know whether to show the article to my 15 year old Aspie boy. It will help him understand there are others who feel the way he does, but he is quite manipulative and may try to use it against me (i.e. " see Mom, I shouldn't have to stop playing my computer games, because I need my own world". Any suggestions? Thanks for your insights, Matthew.And thanks for posting it, Dave.
I don’t know whether to show the article to my 15 year old Aspie boy. It will help him understand there are others who feel the way he does, but he is quite manipulative and may try to use it against me (i.e. ” see Mom, I shouldn’t have to stop playing my computer games, because I need my own world”.
Any suggestions?

]]> More from Matthew Readman http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/more-from-matthew-readman-2/comment-page-1#comment-8150 sarah Thu, 30 Apr 2009 13:52:21 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/?p=410#comment-8150 My son is on 3 and half and has aspergers and im still coming to terms with this. reading this makes me feel sad for my son but i feel reasured that all the help we need is out there My son is on 3 and half and has aspergers and im still coming to terms with this. reading this makes me feel sad for my son but i feel reasured that all the help we need is out there

]]> More from Matthew Readman http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/more-from-matthew-readman-2/comment-page-1#comment-8149 Lucy Thu, 30 Apr 2009 11:01:37 +0000 http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/?p=410#comment-8149 Just read your article and it is exactly what my son feels. He also gets "lost" in his world with the computer and we appreciate your expressing yourself as you did. We are working with him to be more social but it is not easy as his peers don't understand him. He also is a wonderful person and we love him dearly. Thanks for your input. Just read your article and it is exactly what my son feels. He also gets “lost” in his world with the computer and we appreciate your expressing yourself as you did. We are working with him to be more social but it is not easy as his peers don’t understand him. He also is a wonderful person and we love him dearly. Thanks for your input.

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