Notes from a gran
Wanted to share a great letter I got from a gran I got recently:
“Hi Dave,
I have just read the latest Aspirations volume which I thoroughly
enjoyed.
It made me think back a few years and I thought maybe some of
your readers may be interested to know that sometimes there is
light at the end of that tunnel.
I am fortunate to have a lot of contact with my grandsons who are
both autistic. They are both teenagers now, but over the years
they have taught me a lot-and I am still learning.
My oldest grandson, Daniel, was eighteen months old, a happy
little boy who chattered to himself but made no obvious attempts
at speech.
He loved watching the fan and flicking lights on and off. He was
different, but his parents were first time parents so the Experts
said they should attend a Positive Parenting Program.
The advice was good, but didn’t apply to our little rebel baby.
He ignored everyone and went his own way.
He developed a bad cold when he was about two, went off his
food-and didn’t go back on it for six years!
During those long frustrating years he lived off yoghurt,
scrambled eggs, OOPS spaghetti, apple puree and vegemite on
bread. No meat, no milk, no vegetables.
All quite easy to provide –at home.
Not too easy if my daughter went away anywhere or we went out for
a meal as a family. We couldn’t even take him to McDonalds!!
For years we had to stock up on the right brand of spaghetti-not
all supermarkets kept the brand he ate.
The Experts came up with lots of good advice.
Expert advice:
1. “No child will starve himself-just provide a normal meal and
he will eat when he is hungry”
We did that for a couple of weeks and he lost too much weight
so the Expert backed down
2. “Let him play with his food”
You can daub mashed pumpkin all over the place but you don’t have
to eat it! Same goes for minced meat! We didn’t spend too much time
with the Dietician after that.
There were lots of helpful suggestions, most of which we ignored
and fed him on the things he would eat.
At his own slow pace, Daniel started to sneak bits off plates
when nobody was looking.
My husband was carving the joint and small fingers helped
themselves to a tiny piece of meat.
Vegetables and salad on the table were investigated and although
we all held our breath nobody said a word!
The miracle we had all been hoping for was happening! He was
eating different things.
It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen.
We now have a nineteen year old who stays with us for a couple
of nights each week. The first thing he says when I see him is
”What’s for dinner?”
No meal is complete for him without two or three vegetables . He
still won’t touch ice cream or anything sweet, but who needs
dental problems?
When Daniel was two his young brother came along and this time
we were taking no chances!
Jesse went to Day Care two days a week so that he would get used
to eating lunch with other children and learn by experience.
Jesse has had his own ideas though. He can’t/won’t eat
anything green!!
We are still travelling through that tunnel!! But we will get to
the end I’m sure.
Hope this might help someone.
Thanks for all the advice you give Dave
Cheers
Vivienne Butler”
Hope you enjoyed that letter as much as I did.
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To amazing grandparents everywhere,
Dave Angel
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