Children with Aspergers and Their Pets………
Question
My 7 year old son with Asperger’s has a pet rabbit at school that he really loves. He is always talking about it and seems happy to be involved in taking his turn to care for it at school. He is begging me for a rabbit at home. I am worried that it might be different at home and that he may not be able to cope with or look after it if we get him one. Do you think it’s a good idea to get him a rabbit?
Pets can help children with disabilities, including Asperger’s Syndrome. Pets have both time and patience to interact with children. This helps parents by making it easier to keep the child occupied with an acceptable activity. It helps children by promoting an enjoyable, acceptable activity that helps them learn to love another being. Pets also encourage the child to be responsible and take care of another living thing. In simple ways, pets help children learn to socialize. Because pets love unconditionally, the child doesn’t have to worry about whether he or she will be accepted, act correctly, or make mistakes. The pet will love the child regardless. Unconditional acceptance is a wonderful and rare experience for an Asperger’s child. Service animals can even assist disabled children in various ways. So, it’s a good idea for your child to have a pet at home.
Introduce the Asperger’s child to a pet in a controlled environment. Pets’ behaviour can be unpredictable and include actions such as licking, mouthing, making noises, smelling unusual, going to the bathroom in the house, jumping, etc. The parent can hold the pet and the child can approach it slowly. The parent can describe acceptable ways to hold and pet the animal and explain how the pet might behave.
You should explain that this is a living being which is dependent on humans for protection and care. The best way to understand the pet is to read books about it. The parent should carefully teach the child how to care for the pet and always supervise its care. At times, the parent may need to take responsibility for the animal’s care.
Having a pet makes it easier for children to play and communicate with other children. If the animal is with the child when others are present, the interaction with other people is easier for the Aspie and the Aspie’s behaviour is more acceptable to other children. The pet gives the children a mutual interest to discuss.
Pets teach empathy for others. The child can see that the animal needs care and help and learns to provide it. The child learns to empathize with what the animal feels and copies those feelings, including love, joy, and so forth.
Pets teach responsibility, but don’t expect the child to perform most of the daily care. Most kids don’t do it, so Asperger’s kids won’t usually be any different. But, do encourage and help the child care for the pet. Children can learn to groom, feed, provide water, and play with the pet. Be careful that the child doesn’t abuse the pet. Make sure the pet you choose can’t be easily harmed by young children. Small dogs and other fragile pets are not appropriate.
Best Wishes
Dave Angel
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Hi!
We got a dog for our 8 year old AS son but took it a step further. He was beginning to learn about his disability so in order to teach him we adopted a deaf dog. She was great with him and it helped him learning to use sign language with her and look after her.
Thanks
Comment by Danielle — January 29, 2008 @ 5:36 pm
My son has a bunny. And he loves it to death. Actually there really are times when he gets so obsessive about the bunny that he smothers it with his body. Luckily, I’ve always been able to get my son off of the bunny without harm.
My son tries to punish the bunny when it does something my son doesn’t like. I have to explain that the bunny can’t be bad over and over again to my son. Maybe he’ll get the idea someday.
Overall, I think the bunny is good for my son, although it’s not something that he could ever take care of on his own and he always needs to be supervised.
Comment by Elaine Powell — January 29, 2008 @ 5:38 pm
My 8 year old has grown up having an older dog around and loved being able to help feed and walk him. Last January Shadow died and my son had a very hard time understanding why he wasn’t coming home from the doctors (didn’t make our next few doctor visits easier either as he thought he wouldn’t come home). About a month later my parents got a small breed puppy who jumped around, played and loves to lick everybody to show affection. This becomes a problem with my son as he cannot deal with the sensation on his hands, neck or face. As a result the puppy thinks he doesnt like her so she avoids him when he tries to pet or play with her. He is heartbroken because he sees her love on everyone else but runs from him, I try to explain that they have a different friendship and with time she will play with him but it is still hard to watch.
Comment by Cyndi L — January 29, 2008 @ 5:50 pm
Our 16 year old Asperger’s daughter has had two lots of guinea pigs since she was 7. They’re great pets because they rarely bite if handled properly, sit still when they’re cuddled, have different personalities that your child can get to know, and because they’re contained they don’t mess up the house. Of course they take caring for, and because she’s a great reader she’s now an authority on guinea pig care. She’s never lost interest in them.
Comment by Christine Grayden — January 29, 2008 @ 5:50 pm
I would get your son an older dog, one a couple of years old and used to kids from the RSPCA or similiar. Let him pick his own dog. Once he has something to replace what he lost it is easier. I know it is not the same but this also happened to my son with our bunny…. once he picked out the new bunny which was his, it was a different story and even when the bunny nipped he accepted it, and it became less frequent once the bunny was used to him. Avoid the dog, and ask your parents to put the puppy away when you visit until he is comfortable with his own dog. Aspies really feel left out and cant express this, but by having his own it does make the difference. I found this applied to a lot things, like games and toys. Once they had their own and had their own time to figure things out it wasnt so bad, even if they didnt play with them the same way or in the case of the basketball and net wasnt very good at it, having it at home made it easier for them to relate to others. Give it a go. Good luck. ( maybe buy a bunny next time, we have friends with aspie kids and bunnies seem the go with all of them…)
Comment by Elizabeth Ellis — January 29, 2008 @ 5:56 pm
My sonis 12 years old & we had a dog for 15 years that he grew up with. 3 years ago i had to put her to sleep as she was getting so old & couldn’t hardly get around. We got a little poodle 6 months ago & Trenton just loves the fact that we have another Man in our house. Every morning Tiggie goes & wakes up the kids by giving them kisses & Trenton looks forward to this every morning. after he is dressed with socks & shoes he know that it is his job to take him out to potty. then the two of them sit & cuddle on the couch until time for school. He feeds him & makes sure he has water every day after school & then he takes him in his room to play video games “i am sure this is one of tiggers fravorite times of the day” Tigger is only 8 months old but he know that Trenton is special & that he needs more patience with him becasue he is always in tigger’s face loving on him & he just kisses & kidsses him. he has never once gotten grouchy. I just remind Trenton to give him a little space. I really think that it helps to get a younger pet so that they can grow up together so that they are use to how an aspie kid is going to behave.
Comment by TIna Barragan — January 29, 2008 @ 6:14 pm
I have a son with Aspergers (he turns nine tomorrow). We are a two dog home, and have been since before Jack was born. There have been many occasions in which Jack has become over stimulated by people or situations, and sought out the dogs to help calm himself. It is amazing to watch the transformation. One can visibly see him relax. The dogs seem to understand his needs as well because when he approaches them all worked up, they immediately lay down and act very calm. If I were to approach them in the same manner, they would think I wanted to play, and would start jumping and running around. I firmly believe that having pets around has been extremely beneficial.
Comment by Steve Higgs — January 29, 2008 @ 6:16 pm
I agree. My Asperger’s son loves animals and is so good with them. For many of his years we had a Cocker Spaniel That he just loved and would even talk in a different voice to speak for the dog. Unfortunately that dog died last Spring, but we have his son and he has kind of taken the place of the other, though it will probably never be the same.
Comment by Lydia Johnson — January 29, 2008 @ 6:22 pm
Our son has ADHD and Aspergers. He loves pets. He has been great growing up with a huge Great Pyranese, 3 cats, 3 rabbits and his very own pet “cocoa & harry” the guinea pigs. These little pigs purr, squeak and communicate with Justin. He clean the cage when reminded and occasionally needs reminding about fresh water for the pet. He is very proud to speak to others about his pet, especially the vet. It makes him feel good to be responsible for something. Justin is 19 now and still shows much affection to the family pets and his own. With no human friends, these little creatures are a comfort, especially when frustrated with his brothers.
Comment by Patti — January 29, 2008 @ 11:24 pm
My son, aged 8 now has a cat. He’s learned a lot in the short time that she has been with us. Apart from learning about caring and responsibility, I’m teaching him how to look and listen for clues from the cat as to what she wants and feels, something which can then be applied in relationship to humans!
Comment by Valerie — January 30, 2008 @ 5:39 am
We have a 13yr old autistic boy.We have 4 dogs ,3 small and a larger dog.He loves them all but his favorite is Stella the larger one.Staffy x bullmastiff..He loves her because he can cuddle her and she takes it all in..He is a big boy..He loves her because she is wobbly under the arm pits,but we have to keep reminding him to be gentle.The dogs just all climb over him and he pats them for ages.He has learnt to talk to them with lots of kindness.Animals are the best as they always come back..Hubby and Scott take the dogs to the park every night and thats their time to chill out.
Comment by fay — January 30, 2008 @ 7:38 am
Hello, My daughter is 11 years old w/ AS. She was diagnosed at the age of 7. Before she was diagnosed she was pulling away from being touched and her emotions were disappearing, her doctor suggested we get a pet. We involved her in picking one out, we went to our local shelter and a kitten actually picked her. After having the kitten for about a month our daughter was letting us hug her gently again and was picking up on our emotional ques. She loves this cat and takes excellent care of him. She pets and loves this cat everyday, if she could she would carry him everywhere. And he is great its almost as if he knows she needs his touch to help her. We have since gotten a dog and she is so good with him, he sleeps with her and the cat every night. I really think animals can sense whats going on inside them and its as if they know she needs them for help. Getting the cat was the best thing we could have done for our daughter. I can still get a short hug everyday and that is worth all the pets in the world!!!
Comment by Connie Whitmer — January 30, 2008 @ 9:42 am
We have always had pets, so when my son was born he was introduced to pets. He has been wonderful with our animals. We had a dog that had been with us for 14 years (only 8 for my son) and when she started declining in health, my son was wonderful with her! I was amazed to find him putting water of little bits of food in a small cup and bringing them to her so that she would have to get up. I was blown away by the display of caring and his awareness of her needs. We had to have her put to sleep because of her health issues, and he still comes and tells us that he misses her. He handled it all well and understood that she was sick. Recently we brought a new pet into our household. My son had been asking for a kitten, so we decided to get one. He has been very loving & kind with this animal as well. I think having pets can teach kids so much. They enrich everyone’s lives and can be a wonderful addition to the family!
Comment by Lela — January 30, 2008 @ 10:32 am
animals are great -the match does need to be good – the more tempermental or anxious an animal is the more chance of an interactional problem…but more important is to consider the overall stability of your household …adding the new animal can sometimes tilt the household over the edge. overall great idea though!
Comment by fran — January 30, 2008 @ 10:44 am
Our son is eight years old, we had a dog that we got when he was 8 months old, he loved her, but we have always had 2. Last november she had to be put down, and he did take it hard, he looks at them as his sisters. We found ways to say good by, and he just put more love into the dog that was left. We just got another puppy, and he has been very good with giving her lots of attention. And being the “big brother” I cannot imagine our house with out the pets. He also has a geicko that he cares for. They are his family and his friends, and when he has a really bad day at school, he gets unbounded attention from them. He struggles with friendships, and so these animals are a happy solution to his feeling “different”. I think they are a great asset.
Comment by Bunny — January 30, 2008 @ 11:07 am
My son is 12. We had a beagle that was around befor he was born. One year ago she passed away. aBOUT 4 months before she passed we bought a new beagle puppy. This has helped our son alot. He has learned to communicate a little better and learn there is responsilibility in taking care of pets. He has also so learned to be carefull and caring toward the pet.
Comment by RONNIE — January 30, 2008 @ 11:17 am
We have a 7 year old son who we adopted at 7 months of age. We had 2 dogs and 2 cats at that time and he has never shown any interest in any of our pets. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers and has absolutely no empathy or feelings toward our animals. He is even mean to them when they attempt to come up to him. They are gentle and loving animals and he has no desire to pet them or show them any attention. I wish he could love our animals the way the rest of our family does.
Comment by Lisa Johnson — January 30, 2008 @ 10:39 pm
My 7 year old has Aspergers, ADD and Dyspraxia. We have always tried to have pets around him and now have a rabbit, kitten, small dog, fish, hamster and even a crab. He always turns to the pets for affection when he is coming out of one of his many tantrums and they are the only thing in the house that have never been on the receiving end of his violence, therefore i have to conclude that pets are probably the best thing these kids can have as they know they can be themselves without any repercussions like when making friends with other children. Only thing i will say is that has really struggled with his emotions when any of our pets have died and years later still gets upset over them. Good luck with your son and his choice of pet!
Comment by Jo — January 31, 2008 @ 5:23 am
We have a cat and a 2 year old rat terrier mix dog which my 12 year old son absolutely adores. Brendon feeds and plays with “Mason” daily and adores his constant “kissing”. Brendon has been less anxious since Mason’s arrival and he seems to have developed a sense of empathy too. Mason has taken away his sense of lonliness a bit too since Brendon has few friends. I can’t say enough positives about how having pets – more so our dog than the cat – has been for my son!
Comment by Linda Billings — January 31, 2008 @ 5:27 am
We got a cat from the RSPCA for our 7 year old son who has Aspergers. He has responsibility for feeding, watering and caring for her. In return she sleeps on his bed at night, and follows him around which he loves, he call her his baby girl. Having a cat has given Jacob a sense of responsibility, and it has helped him come to recognise negative body language, even if it is from a cat! The relationship between them works well as they both need their own space. I really recommend a pet for your child, it has been a really positive step for us. Millie often features as “news” at school!
Comment by Annie Loft — January 31, 2008 @ 6:19 am
Pets are wonderful for children with AS. My six year old got a kitten for Thanksgiving last year, and she has been wonderful in teaching him about empathy and responsibility. She is so gentle with him, and seems to sense that he is different and does not play with him like she does others. She lets him carry her around and cuddles with him, and is of great comfort to him. She has been a very positive and calming influence on Tyler, and I would recommend getting a pet to anyone with an AS child for companionship and security (she guards him at night, in the bath, everywhere he goes- it’s really cute)! Maria
Comment by maria — January 31, 2008 @ 10:30 am
Its my birthday today.
I am 53.
I have a father and children and a partner with AS as well as having it myself.
Animals have totally made my life bearable.
I got a royal python for my birthday.
To list all my other animal companions would be tedious for you .
I believe that there needs to be thought about what kind of animal is practical for the individual child.
Support also is desirable but it should never be underestimated just how much impact an animal friend can have in the life of an aspie.
all the best, gill
Comment by gill — January 31, 2008 @ 2:32 pm
Hi,
I would have to say that pets are amazing with any kid with disability!! My son is 12 years old. It took us a lot before he was diagonsed with Aspergers. He was seeing a Dr. that gave me a perscription for a dog. I had laughed and thought “I don’t think the Medicine Shoppe will fill this”. After talking with him he said he thought that it would help with my landlord. Sure enought it did! We were able to get a Sheltie! I wouldn’t change it for the world! It is someone that is there for him unconditionally! When he is having an off day he comes home and goes into his room for “his” time and takes his dog with him. That dog has been his companion through everything. My husband and I have divorced but my son is able to go back and forth with him. It helped him cope and the dog is his constant in life. He also has a lizard at my house and one at his father’s. We try to mirror those kinds of things so his life stays consistant. He has become so much more responsible since we gave him the dog and the lizard. He has become more understanding for feelings. He has become more aware of his surroundings. He pays so much more attention. He pays attention to when the dog is asking him to go out. He knows if the dog is only wanting to play or to eat. I could not have taught him these skills on my own. I’m so happy to see him interacting, at first with the dog, but now these skills are moving into the rest of his life. He’s more attentive to how his sister’s are reacting to things and such. I think this has been the best learning tool for him!! It has made him want to become more aware and until the want is there the learning can not begin!!
Comment by Brenda Hartshorn — January 31, 2008 @ 4:14 pm
MY SON 12 ALWAYS WANTED A PET,THIS FALL MY NIECE’S APT BURNT DOWN AND WE TOOK HER 2 CATS IN.MY SON HAS LEARNED ALL ABOUT CATS AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.I HAVE TOLD HIM THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU. HE GETS IT NOW.HE HAS LEARNED RESPONSIBILITY AND CARE FOR SOMEONE OTHER THAN HIMSELF. WHAT A GREAT IDEA FOR A CHILD.HE ALSO USES THE CAT AS A CALMING DOWN MECHANISM. HE PETS THE CATS UNTIL HE IS READY TO TALK THINGS OVER WITHOUT THE SHOUTING MATCHES.I HIGHLY RECOMMEND AN ANIMAL FOR CHILDREN.
Comment by DIANE WALKER — January 31, 2008 @ 10:52 pm
Our 5 yr old grandson, who we have full custody of, has Aspergers, ADHD, SID, ODD, OCD and Asthma. We had a wonderful Lab/Sheltie mix when Javan came to live with us at 3 1/2 months old. They loved each other and liked to snuggle together. Unfortunately, Princess died about 2 years ago and we have all missed her greatly. We are now in the process of getting an Autism Assistant Servie Dog for Javan. Not only will this dog be a wonderful, constant companian, but will also provide security and behavior interruptions for him. He is so excited about having his own forever friend who will go everywhere with him, and incidently act as a magnent to other children, and accept him as he is. Javan will be able to help care for the dog by feeding and watering it, grooming it, and of course exercising it, lol, by taking it on walks…everywhere he goes. He did so well with our pet that we are convinced this is the best situation for all of us. He will no longer be alone without friends, but will always have his friend with him. So his dog will actually be a working dog, but to him it will be much more of a ‘pet’. I think animals are great for the Aspie kids that can handle the emotions of loving a pet.
Comment by Vicki — February 1, 2008 @ 12:14 pm
my child has asd she have a ginne pig.she walk around with him all the time.she get upset of lever him went school.went come home she with him.she siad he my friend no one like me became them buller me i hate school. she said me love my pet him my friend . age 10
Comment by sue o'rourke — February 2, 2008 @ 10:40 am
my son has Aspergers & ADHD. We have always had animals but the dogs have been especially helpful (we have 4- a rot/dobie, chow/lab, & 2 pug/chihuauas they are all mild mannered). When he is good he can bring the 2 little dogs in but if he misbehaves or talks back (it has to be pretty bad) then he can not play with them. I keep an eye on him & the dogs and when the dogs get a certain look I know it is time for them to go back outside. He is not mean but he is in their face and constantly trying to hug them. Sometimes I let one of them wake him up by licking his feet or face, which ever is on the pillow. The big dogs are like big pillows for him. He reads to them when they come in and pretends they are patients and checks them out; it is very heartwarming the love they share. We have tried hamsters in the past but all they did was multiply weekly. Also, they were too small for him to hold or cuddle.
Comment by stephanie — February 4, 2008 @ 2:51 pm
I agree with all the posters that Aspies can really do well with animals. I have a niece with ADD and Aspergers who trains horses. She has competed in dressage and three-day eventing and has done quite well. My daughter also has PDD-NOS and loves our three cats. In fact, she is completely in charge of their care, and the cats couldn’t be better fed, more spoiled or loving. She takes them to the veterinarian who says that we are excellent “cat parents.” They don’t mind being carried around the house, hugged, and in return, sit on our laps and purr to show their affection. I am all in favor of pets for Aspies, as long as the animal is not too fragile and also, the child is old enough to understand the responsibilities of caring for an animal.
Comment by Mary Minshall — February 5, 2008 @ 12:39 pm
Hi, I have two boys oldests has Aspergers and youngests ADD HD and they love having the pet Hamster.It teaches them how to be gentle seing how fragile they are. Boys with aggression behaviors need something that helps them turn get their minds off what is bothering them at the time and I found this was a healing and calmin gthing for them… We have cats and my youngest just loves them and like feeding them treats.Good medicine for kids to own pets. All pets love my boys.Cats go for walks with us that is neat.. Oh also it helps kids that are being bullied. they aren’t threatened by small pets they feel safe…Vicky
Comment by Vicky — February 5, 2008 @ 7:49 pm
Hi Dave just wanted to add in me email address to Blog 5 – elizabethe@sydneyexpress.com.au. Thanks
Comment by Elizabeth Ellis — February 6, 2008 @ 12:37 am
My Grandson is 7yrs old and just diagnosed last Dec.. We always had both dogs and cats until he was about 4, then our Border Collie/Akita mix died unexpectedly she was only 2yrs old. Before that our Lab/Akita lived to be 14 yrs old. Loosing them both so close together I couldn’t handle getting another pet for awhile. But Casey talks about missing Sasha all the time even 3 yrs. later. Now that we know that he has Aspergers I really want to get another dog both for him and our family. But we now rent a, NO PETS, home. It has a fenced back yard and would be safe for a dog but my landlords aren’t very aware when it comes to the issues of Asp. children. They are from and era of never mentioning “those kind of disorders”. It’s just not to be talked about. They are kind people and good landlords. Plus I’m suffering from a permanent back injury, so moving would be a huge stress on all of us. I just don’t know how to explain the tremendous benefits that Casey will gain if he could get a dog. And he could really use a friend that will love him unconditionally. He’s already very good with animals so I know it would work out well.
It’s like talking to someone from the dark-ages about brain disorders when I try to talk to them about Casey in general let alone about getting a dog. Any ideas on how to gently approach this with them? Casey has just gone though a hellish situation at his former school with a teacher that didn’t understand him. first 3 weeks of school and she convinced him he had an “Evil Heart”. He’s now in a much better school but he’s still hurting a lot from the incident. She even got him kick out of school for almost 3 full months, until we could get him tested and place in the right environment. So now would be a great time for him to have that kind of companionship.
Comment by Wendi Dell — February 6, 2008 @ 5:58 pm
Hi, My 13 nearly 14yr old has been diagnosed with NLD we are currently waiting for her to be tested with aspergers. We have had dogs for most of her growing up life. I also had a cat before she was born who she loved very much. I had to have “Snoopy” put to sleep last July which was very upsetting for the whole family he was 18yrs. But my daughter did not show any emotion but did say over and over “I want Snoopy back” Which was very hard for me. So I got a budgie for her. She loves the fact she is responsable for something. I have always had the perception that my daughter has an obssession with the dogs because she is always in their face always hugging them and always wanting our small dog (shitzu/maltese) with her when she goes to bed. But after reading all these comments I am put at ease because my daughter has no friends to come over for sleep overs she is still happy because she has “Charlie” I think this breed of dog is great as he has the patience to with stand all her love. Pets are great for any child with a disability especially aspergers because animals give the unconditional love that alot of people cant give….
Kerrie
Comment by Kerrie — February 6, 2008 @ 7:17 pm
Just a few months shy of my son’s 6th birthday, we recieved the diagnosis of Asperger’s. For his birthday, we brought home a guinea pig. I explained to my young son that the guinea pig, Cherokee, was also afraid of loud noises and too much comotion. My son looked his new pet and told all of us that Cherokee was like him. This furry little darlin’ has helped greatly with tantrum, and the destruction of his room. We just remind him how scary it is for Cherokee when my son makes that kind of noise. We have dogs that my son adores, but his best friend is his guinea pig.
Comment by Stephanie St. John — February 13, 2008 @ 10:07 am