Question:

How can I help my son with Aspergers to thrive at high school?

Answer:

The teenage years can be complicated for kids with Asperger’s.  High school can be a challenge. Juggling social relationships and the increased academic workload can be overwhelming. The teen with Asperger’s Syndrome must have the proper type of support at home and at school in order to be successful.  Resources are available to help families and school personnel develop a plan for the student with Asperger’s. “Success Strategies for Students with Asperger Syndrome & Autism,” by The Geneva Centre for Autism, is an example of one such resource.  This book gives examples of some common success strategies for students with Asperger’s.

You should work with your son’s school to develop a special plan for his Asperger’s.  High school special education programs are available for students who need extra assistance.  This educational plan, called an IEP (individual education plan) is developed by a team that consists of you, your son’s teachers, and any special education staff who know and work with him.  This IEP consists of educational goals, functional behavioral objectives, and special considerations and allowances.  Here are a few ideas on some special considerations you might find on a high school student’s IEP. These are in addition to the goals that are specific, time-limited statements that are determined by the student’s weaknesses.

• Time extension for all assignments

• Abbreviated assignments

• Oral testing with extra time allotment

• Modified grading (for example, chance to correct mistakes for additional grade)

• Anxiety management in the classroom

Once the IEP is developed and in place, you should offer additional help to your child with Asperger’s.  High school can be a positive experience with a little planning.  Here are a few things you can do at home that will enhance your son’s high school years.

* Be involved in his social life

* Arrange social activities to build his social skills.  Clubs geared towards his special interests are a great way to find people with similar interests.  This is great social skills practice.
 
* Pay attention to school happenings.  Bullying is a major problem for kids with Asperger’s.  Bullying can lead to anxiety, avoidance, isolation, and depression.

* Teach your son about daily living skills and organizational skills

* Personal hygiene often lacks importance in people with Asperger’s.  Help him stay on a regular bathing and dental hygiene schedule.

* Make sure he understands the importance of household chores.

* Help him work on time management and organization with written lists and daily schedules.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

PARENTING ASPERGERS NEWSLETTER VOLUME October 2011

Welcome to the October 2011 edition of “The Parenting Aspergers Newsletter”.

Inside this edition, you will find:

1. Hot Topic of Discussion – School

2. In the News – Schooling Options for Children with ASD

3. Prominent People Linked with ASD – Educator Daniel Tammet

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1. Hot Topic of Discussion – School. The children have now been back to school for a month or two in many areas, which means families affected by Autism and Asperger’s are coping with new teachers, transitions, and a multitude of stressors that come with a new school year. Below you will find links to articles that can help you with the school year:

http://www.autismkey.com/back-to-school-preparation-for-children-with-autism/

http://blog.autismspeaks.org/2011/08/08/back-to-school-the-conversation-continues/

 http://www.pathfindersforautism.org/articleItem.aspx?id=55

*People mentioned as having Asperger’s Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with an ASD.

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2. In the News – Choosing Schooling Options for Children with Autism Education is your child’s key to success. It opens doors that remain tightly closed without the knowledge gained through learning. It is important for all parents, but especially parents of children with Autism, to find the best possible schooling option for their children. Children with Autism can be successful in public school. However, special educational methods and allowances will be needed. Sometimes a school devoted to Autism may be a better fit. Other times, a parent may opt to homeschool. Here are several links that discuss schooling options for children with Autism:

http://autism.about.com/od/schoolandsummer/a/edoptionshub_4.htm

http://isybeeautism.com/autism-schools/autism-schools-special-schools/

http://www.autismkey.com/homeschooling-options-for-children-with-autism/

The following links are websites or stories about specialty schools devoted to Autism:

http://www.todaysthv.com/news/story.aspx?storyid=167366

http://www.summitviewschool.org/

http://www.questkids.org/qka_overview.htm

http://www.mayinstitute.org/services/autism/day_schools.html

http://www.aptschool.org/aboutus.htm

(These few schools are just a representative set of the many schools devoted to Autism.)

*People mentioned as having Asperger’s Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with an ASD.

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3. Prominent People Linked with ASD- British Author/Educator/Savant Daniel Tammet Daniel Tammet was officially diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at the age of 25. A well-known savant, he is the author of the 2006 best seller, “Born on a Blue Day”, his memoir. Learn more about Daniel Tammet and his savant abilities by clicking the links below.

http://www.optimnem.co.uk/about.php

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Tammet

*The person mentioned above may or may not have Asperger’s Syndrome.

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I hope this month’s newsletter has intrigued you and provided new and useful information. The next edition of the newsletter is due in November 2011. And as always … please send in any inspirational stories, any questions that you would like our team of experts to answer, any topics that you wish to be discussed, and news stories that you want to share VIA THE BLOG. We will publish as many as we can.

Until next month…

Best Wishes Dave Angel

Here’s a great new article courtesy of Matthew Readman:

Well the summer is over and it’s time to get back to reality.    I love the summer because it’s my time.  I don’t have to follow all the social rules that are demand of me.   Well it’s the night before school and of course I can’t sleep.  Everything is rushing through my head.   It’s funny for an asberger kid it’s not the excitement of meeting new kids or teachers.  It’s actually the opposite.   You get this horrible feeling in your stomach almost like you’re going to be sick.  You don’t want to meet the new kids because you think automatically that they’re not going to like you.  You worry about the bullies you had last year and the new ones you’re going to face.   You’re stuck back in a classroom where you keep trying to get heard but instead just ignored.    I must say it doesn’t matter how much your parents talk with you and the usual talk is “it’s a new start” you always remember the bad of the last year.

Well its now the first day of school.  I’m up early and very tired.  Did I sleep? NOPE!   I’m dressed and my lunch was made.  My heart is beating a mile per minute. Am I having an anxiety attack? YES!  My mom walks me to the bus stop as she does every first day of school.  She bugs me like usual “Try to be nice, talk to other kids, and listen to your teacher and so on.”  I know she’s just doing the mother thing but I’m going into grade 8 and I’ve heard this a thousand times before.   The bus arrives and my mother leaves.  I get on the bus and my eyes goes directly to the bully that every year harass me on the bus.  I take a deep breath and find a seat as far away from him as possible.   I sit by the window so I don’t have to have eye contact with anyone.    I put on my head phones to drown out people talking.

When I got to school all I dreamt of was going home. I have a new teacher THANK GOD! I hated my old one.  My first impression, she was nice but who knows how she will turn out. Sadly all teachers begin this way. I grab a seat with the girls I knew from last year.   I looked around and prayed it would be a good year. The day went well. The best part of my day was when I ran into to my principal who told me how happy he was to see me and then said “don’t worry I got your back this year”.

The first few weeks of school had the usual ups and downs. The teacher so far is still nice. So far so good. Actually an amazing thing has happened to me! I applied for the leadership council at my school. 120 kids applied and only 20 students were chosen and I was one of them. The leadership council is responsible for all social events and communication throughout the school.  Do they see something in me I don’t see? I really hope I can keep to their standards and to prove, not to them, but myself that I can do this job as well as someone without social problems.  As a grade 8 teen with asbergers I’m doing my best to learn and be accepted.

Thanks for another great article Matt!

P.S. Don’t forget that Matt is writing a book this year. And if there are topics you want him to cover in he book (i.e. from his perspective of a young person with Aspergers) please leave you comment at the end of this blog post.

Question:

I think my husband has Aspergers can you give me some advice please?

Answer:

Many adults are diagnosed later in life with Asperger‘s.  Husbands are often diagnosed after learning about Asperger’s through their child’s diagnosis.  This adult diagnosis may explain many issues within a couple’s marriage.  Relationships are work for everyone.  Relationships that are complicated by Asperger’s Syndrome can be extremely difficult.  There is hope for your marriage.

The first step is obtaining the diagnosis of Asperger’s.  A husband with suspected Asperger’s syndrome may be unwilling to accept the possibility, making life that much more difficult for the family.  Most of the time, however, learning the characteristics of Asperger’s are an eye-opening experience that explains the person’s struggles throughout life.  This diagnosis can help your husband, and your marriage, get back on the right foot.

In the meantime, there are books available to assist the wife of an Asperger’s husband.  For example, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge? Practical Steps to Saving You and Your Relationship.” by Kathy Marshack Ph.D.; Foreword by Stephen Shore Ed.D, will help you learn how to take control of your relationship and find new ways to look at the challenges of living with Asperger’s Syndrome.

While you are waiting to learn if you have an Asperger’s husband, there are things you can do to make life a bit more positive.

• Conquer loneliness if at all possible.  Spouses often complain of being left alone either emotionally or literally.  Find your own interests or hobbies to focus on when you are feeling lonely.  This is not meant as avoidance.  It is important that you continue to enjoy shared interests and time together whenever your husband permits.

• Acceptance of your circumstances can be quite freeing.  Accept the things you cannot change and work to make the rest more manageable.

• Educate yourself about Asperger’s.  Learn all you can about the condition, its symptoms, and the treatments.  Education is power.

• Focus on your husband’s strengths.  This will make you feel better and it will give your husband some much-needed confidence.

• Find help for your husband’s challenges.  Medications and therapy could make a difference in your quality of life as a couple, as well as his personal well being.

• Join a local Autism support group.  There are often sub groups for adults and spouses.  These groups are filled with people who have been in your position.  They can help you navigate the condition.

• Counseling can be beneficial for your husband and for you.  Counseling can give you both an outlet for the frustrations within your relationship.  Individual counseling, as well as couples counseling are highly recommended for newly diagnosed adults and their spouses.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

Question

Can you advise me on job training and employment prospects for adults with Aspergers?

Answer

Finding and keeping a job can be very tricky for adults with Asperger’s.  Employment is necessary for independent living, but can be hard to come by.  Many of the characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome can affect job opportunities and long-term employment.  However, some characteristics of Asperger’s can definitely be considered strengths for certain careers.  Here are a few of these strengths and weaknesses.

Job Related Strengths of Asperger’s

• Excellent rote memory

• Concentrated focus-strong research and idea development skills

• Strong logical thinking skills-able to see beyond the basic idea and plan for future development

• Very honest by nature

• Strong attention to minute details-catches errors in product designs and written work

• Deep desire to follow the rules-works better when rules are obvious; desires to do the right thing in all situations

Job Related Weaknesses of Asperger’s

• Weak social skills-knowing and understanding the ways of a work environment; communicating with bosses, co-workers, and customers; understanding social cues, gestures, sarcasm, humor, and slang in conversations; may have speech issues like cluttered speech, that hamper communication .

• Lack of interest in self-care (poor personal hygiene)

• Poor organizational skills-messy work area and inability to complete tasks in a timely manner.

• Problems with change and transition-prefers set schedules and routines; needs advanced preparation for changes in job related tasks; unable to jump in and help due to transition issues.

• Sensory issues-may need sensory input to remain calm; may be hypersensitive to the noise, activities, and smells of an office environment.

There are options available to the adult with Asperger’s.  Employment searches should be based on a few basic requirements.   First, career choices should focus on the person’s special interests.  These obsessive interests are a characteristic of Asperger’s.  Choosing a career based on the special interest practically guarantees success due to the person’s knowledge and desire.   Next, take social skills into consideration.  If people skills and tolerance are weak, you should choose a job that is more solitary, or that does not include the general public.

Finally, it is important that you know your personal strengths and weaknesses due to Asperger’s.  Employment that is built around your strengths will likely be an enjoyable and successful experience.  There are resources available to help with your search. Many local colleges offer career counseling.  Many cities have government agencies that assist disabled citizens with career counseling, job placement, and structured independent living.  Contact your local disabilities services center or Autism support group for guidance.  In the meantime, books like “Asperger Syndrome Employment Workbook,” by Tony Attwood and Roger N. Meyer, a self-paced workbook for adults with Asperger’s Syndrome, will show you how Asperger’s has affected past employment opportunities so you can improve the future outcome.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

Question

Can you tell me more about Aspergers in girls and how they present and differ from boys?

Answer

Asperger’s in girls is a significantly different from that in boys.  For a long time, girls were not as likely to receive the diagnosis of Autism or Asperger‘s Syndrome.  Far more boys still receive the Autism diagnosis, leaving girls without as much support at school, and without as much help to cope with life.  Here are a few of the distinct differences of symptoms and characteristics between boys and girls with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Asperger’s in Boys

• Single obsessive interests are more often observed in boys.  

• Aggressive behavior and meltdowns due to frustration are very common in boys.

• Boys tease other boys with weaknesses rather than show support.

• Boys with Asperger’s are less likely to show emotion.

• Boys show less desire for friendships.  The desire may be there under the surface, but it usually matches closely with ability.

• Boys are more likely to have major sensory and motor skills deficiencies.

• Overall, boys are more severely affected by Asperger’s than girls are.

Asperger’s in Girls

• Girls tend to have a wider variety of obsessive interests.

• Girls are more passive and less likely to show aggressive behaviors and meltdowns.

• Girls are more likely to support other girls despite their obvious weaknesses.

• Girls are more likely to imitate others’ emotions and social skills than boys are.

• Girls show more desire for friendships and social interactions.

• Girls are usually less affected by gross motor skills & sensory systems deficiencies.

• Overall, girls usually have milder symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome.

Of course, not all cases of Asperger’s in girls will follow these guidelines.  Children with Asperger’s are individuals with their own specific strengths and weaknesses.  There are girls with Asperger’s who are severely socially unable, who have tremendous sensory integration problems and very weak gross motor skills.  However, the majority of girls with Asperger’s do present on the milder side of the spectrum.  

Thanks,

Dave Angel

Question

How do I help my child with Aspergers in self-help skills when she is so sensitive to touch i.e. hair combing & teeth brushing especially?

Answer

The problems you are facing are two of the biggest issues that challenge children with Asperger’s: self help skills and sensory issues.  Children with Asperger’s Syndrome do not always have social understanding.  The need for basic personal hygiene and other daily living skills escapes them.  Their focus is usually limited and these things seem unimportant, especially when compared to their choice of special interests.  In addition, sensory issues can make ordinary chores and hygiene functions downright unpleasant.  It can be difficult to develop basic skills like regular bathing or even doing the dishes when a child is bothered by the sound and feel of running water.

Teaching your child with Asperger’s self help skills is very important.  So, what can a parent do to make these difficult experiences more positive?  It is all in the presentation.  Children enjoy fun and learning anything can be fun with a little planning.  First, you must find a way to increase your child’s sensory tolerance.  The sensory systems are very important to a child’s development.  Here are some common sensory issues observed in children with Asperger’s Syndrome.

• Sensory sensitivities
  • Intolerance to touch
  • Intolerance to sounds
  • Intolerance to smells
  • Intolerance to lights
• Sensory-seeking behaviors
  • Running
  • Crashing
  • Spinning
  • Rocking
• Gross motor weaknesses
• Fine motor weaknesses
• Balance and gait problems

All of these sensory issues can be addressed by occupational therapy or sensory integration therapy.  However, parents can easily find resources to help implement a home sensory profile and plan when private therapy is not available.  Techniques like deep muscle massage, joint compression, and body brushing are a few examples.

Once you have begun to address your child’s sensory issues, you can work on the Asperger’s self help needs.  These skills are often tackled during therapies offered in the school setting, as well in private therapies.  Once again, daily living and self help skills can be tackled at home.  There are many books and teaching resources geared to the home setting.  This book, “Hygiene and Related Behaviors for Children and Adolescents with Autism Spectrum and Related Disorders: A Fun Curriculum with a Focus on Social Understanding”, by Kelly Mahler, is a complete curriculum that teaches many daily living skills.  Most importantly, it is fun!

Remember, you know your child with Asperger’s better than anyone and you are capable of working through the issues of Asperger’s self help skills at home.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

Question

Can you tell me about Aspergers sexuality issues?

Answer

As one of the most difficult times in the life of a child with Asperger’s, sexuality and puberty are much dreaded by parents and teachers alike.  Children with Asperger’s, while very intelligent, tend to be immature for their age.  However, puberty and sexual development will appear at the appropriate age, leaving room for confusion for the child and possible embarrassment for the parents.

Teaching your child with Asperger’s about sexuality is very important and must be taken seriously.  This is not the time to be shy and hope the child makes these discoveries for himself.  Chances are, he will make these discoveries without proper knowledge, and that is a recipe for disaster.

By always practicing open communication with your child with Asperger’s, sexuality and puberty talks will come naturally and with little trepidation.  Remember, any anxiety or discomfort you feel will be obvious to your child.  You do not want to send the message that sexuality is a negative frame of mind.  Here are some of the issues that occur in children with Asperger’s Syndrome from lack of knowledge:

• Touching self or others inappropriately in public
• Undressing in public
• Talking about sexual subject in public
• Beginning sexual activity at a young age
• Sexually transmitted diseases
• Pregnancy

While all parents worry about many of these same issues when their children reach the teen years, typically developing children have a better chance of understanding than a child with Asperger’s, about sexuality.  Parents of children with Asperger’s must approach sex education with purpose in order to inform their child about the way things should be.  Here are some tips for the parent of an Asperger’s child nearing puberty.

• Start early.  Young children with Asperger’s Syndrome should be taught about their bodies using proper terminology.  Any questions that arise should be answered age-appropriately, with facts and simple terminology.
• Open communication is a must for parents and children.  Teach your child that he can talk to you or ask questions about anything.
• Discuss emotions.  Your child with Asperger’s has difficulty relating to others and understanding emotions and feelings.  Be sure to talk about the emotions and feelings that come with puberty and sexuality.

Due to the challenges of Asperger’s, sexuality is a big issue that must be tackled when the time is right.  If you are unsure how to start a conversation with your child, you might want to consider a resource like “Autism-Asperger’s & Sexuality:  Puberty and Beyond”, by Jerry and Mary Newport.  The authors of this book are a married couple with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Thanks,

Dave Angel

Question:

Can you give me information on working with the school IEP for my child with Aspergers?
Answer:

When you have a child with Asperger’s, IEP negotiations are extremely important.  As the parents, you hold a vital position on the IEP team and unfortunately, many parents often feel undermined and in some cases, bullied into accepting the opinions and terms decided by the educational staff.  Your input is not only important, but also necessary in the development of a well-rounded IEP for your child.
In the days and weeks before your child with Aspergers’ IEP meeting, there are several things you can do to make the experience more pleasant and the outcome more positive.  This IEP is imperative to your child’s future.  Here is a list of suggestions for IEP preparation.

• Schedule private evaluations, if you desire.  Medical evaluations, including medically referred psychological testing, will present a complete diagnostic picture.  Educational evaluations are primarily geared towards diagnostics that affect only the specifics of the education process.  These two diagnoses can be different. Without a medical evaluation and official medical diagnosis, your child may miss vital services.
• Request access to all updated evaluation reports before the IEP meeting in order to prepare for the meeting.  You should not have to settle on glancing over the reports or hearing the results second-hand during the meeting.
• Know your child’s strengths and weaknesses so there are no big surprises during the IEP meeting.  If you know your child’s abilities and weaknesses, you will be better prepared to request additional services when needed and not offered.
• Represent yourself as an equal member of the IEP team.  Dress respectably, speak intelligently, and do not feel inferior.  Yes, the other members are education professionals, but you are an expert in your child.
• Make notes, ask questions, and request clarification before and during the IEP meeting.  When goals are set, be sure you understand the wording and that your thoughts are taken into consideration.
• Request time to review the IEP before signing.  There is no reason to rush through this process.  Take the IEP home, read over it, and make changes if necessary.  Do not sign until you are sure your child has the best IEP possible.

When you have a child with Asperger’s, the IEP should be treated as the important document and process that it is.  The IEP is the backbone to your child’s educational assistance.  If you have any questions about appropriate goals or specific questions about the IEP process, there are many great resources available.  This one, “How Well Does Your IEP Measure Up?” by Diane Twachtman-Cullen and Jennifer Twachtman-Reilly, is just one example.

Thanks,

Dave Angel

PARENTING ASPERGERS NEWSLETTER – August 2011

Welcome to the August 2011 edition of “The Parenting Autism & Asperger’s Newsletter”.

Inside this edition, you will find:

1. Hot Topic of Discussion – Recognizing Early Signs of Asperger’s Syndrome

2. In the News – Environmental Causes a Factor in Autism

3. Prominent People Linked with ASD – Actor Chasen Schneider
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1. Hot Topic of Discussion – Identifying Asperger’s Syndrome Early

Even though many people with Asperger’s Syndrome are not diagnosed until late childhood, the teen years, or even adulthood, the signs of Asperger’s can be evident during infancy. The sensory problems and focus are usually the most obvious. However, parents must know what to look for during infancy and early childhood. The following links will shed some light on the mysteries of Asperger’s Syndrome in babies.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/229888.php

http://www.thehelpgroup.org/pdf/Stephens.pdf

*People mentioned as having Asperger’s Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with an ASD.

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2. In the News – Is Autism Caused by the Environment?

It has been a long-standing debate whether Autism spectrum disorders are caused by genetics or environment. Two recent studies add more credibility to the environmental causes. One study reveals a connection between the use of SSRIs, a type of antidepressant medication, and Autism in unborn children of users. Another study on twins shows a strong environmental component to Autism. Learn more about both of these studies here:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/230464.php

*People mentioned as having Asperger’s Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with an ASD.

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3. Prominent People Linked with ASD- Actor Chasen Schneider

The son of American television star John Schneider, Chasen Schneider was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as a child. Thanks to therapies and family support, Chasen was able to work through many of the characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome and grow up to be a successful actor in his own right. You can learn more about Chasen Schneider and the Schneider family by visiting the following links.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/spotlighthealth/2003-04-15-schneider_x.htm

http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/eqoiUilZ-uu/The+Tonys+Go+Hollywood/Qzn2Y2MTPyA/Chasen+Schneider

http://www.life.com/image/80516447

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Schneider_%28television_actor%29

*The person mentioned above may or may not have Asperger’s Syndrome.
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I hope this month’s newsletter has intrigued you and provided new and useful information.

The next edition of the newsletter is due in September 2011.

And as always … please send in any inspirational stories, any questions that you would like our team of experts to answer, any topics that you wish to be discussed, and news stories that you want to share VIA THE BLOG.

We will publish as many as we can.

Until next month………

Best Wishes

Dave Angel