Hi there and hope you’re having a happy Sunday. It’s 2pm here in the UK so I guess for many of my American readers you may still be in bed! I wish I was – the weather here is “raining cats and dogs” as they say, and I really don’t like it!

It’s strange to be doing the weekly article on a Sunday but that’s because of the problems and late delivery of the September newsletter last week. It appears I resolved the blog posting problem (which was a miracle in itself!) but a number of people are still struggling to read the full articles due to the information on the right hand side merging with the article.

I spoke to a friend in the States who’s been a web designer and general internet “know it all” for 15 years and he said that these problems are browser problems and nothing to do with the website. He said that it cannot be cured 100% but that his advise would be for you to use Mozilla Based Browsers (such as Netscape, Firefox or Safari) and NOT Internet Explorer.

But this should only be an issue for several more months before I can get the new website up and running. Talking of which it’s getting quite exciting for me, as I’m finally getting chance to start creating some great new information for this new site. Last week I was researching and writing on topics such as helping teenagers to make friends, understanding new behaviors in your child, social cues and boy/girl relationships for young people with Aspergers.

Anyway after that longer than normal intro. here’s this week’s article:

Question

I would like ideas on how to deal with my son’s frustrations. He will either dig his heels in and refuse to do what he is supposed to do, or he shuts down and then we have a time away so he can get himself together to discuss the problem. It seems he works himself up over things that are not that big a deal.

Answer

People with Aspergers overreact to crowds, confusing situations, sensory stimuli, and situations in which they are asked to do things they don’t want to do. Situations or problems that seem minor to most of us are a “big deal” to those with Asperger’s because they don’t know how to handle them. Removing your son from a stressful situation and giving him time to calm down is an excellent idea. Then if he is willing to discuss the problem, you may be able to help him learn how to handle a similar situation in the future. His frustration and stubbornness are due to the anxiety he feels and his inability to handle situations; he can’t help those feelings.

Generally, there are two therapeutic approaches to working with the anxiety disorders seen in Asperger’s Syndrome children. The first is cognitive psychology, which is an approach that focuses on the client’s mental processes, such as problem solving, memory, and language. A cognitive psychologist will want to know how your son perceives and solves his problems.

A cognitive psychologist will be able to help your son figure out exactly what triggers his anger. The psychologist will help him change the negative environment that fuels his anger and develop various age-appropriate techniques for coping with anxiety.

The psychologist’s recommendations might be simple, like lowering lights and sound levels, or it could be more complex, and therapy might become long term.

In addition to cognitive psychology, medication may be recommended for your son. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications that will help reduce your son’s frustrations and reduce his anxieties. Please note that antidepressants like Zoloft and Prozac have been prescribed for Asperger’s children, but they have also been known to cause serious problems. Ask the psychiatrist to explain all of the behavioral changes and discuss the possible side effects of any medication that is prescribed.

The second approach for helping your son and one of the most frequently recommended interventions for children with Asperger’s Syndrome is for you, as a parent, to make his life structured and consistent. If he has chores to do around the house, they can be done on a certain day and at a specified time. You didn’t state your son’s age, but, assuming that he is (or will be) in school, he can leave for school at the same time every day, and he be expected to return home at a certain time every day, also.

Structure can be built into his life for recreational activities, in addition to his school obligations and household chores. If he enjoys video games, a time can be set aside that is predictable for the both of you. He can complete school homework and chores while looking forward to the recreational time that he knows will occur at the same time every day.

Your son is becoming easily frustrated over things that he perceives as too challenging. You can provide a “wraparound” treatment for him by surrounding him with a psychologist that he can talk to, medication he can use to reduce anxiety, and a predictable home environment each day.

That’s all for this week and enjoy your day

Dave Angel

PS – The majority of people contacting me said that they would like both a blog post and text-based email each week, to ensure that they got the article one way or another. So after much deliberating (as I don’t want to fill your in-box with stuff each week), I have come up with a plan. I will email you the details on the blog post every Tuesday as usual, and then on a Thursday I will send the text version.

I will always put the headline for the text version as “Text version of this week’s Aspergers article”. That way if you want to read it you can, and if you don’t you can just delete it without needing to actually waste time opening it. No doubt this may not please everybody (that’s impossible to do!) but it’s the best plan I can think of. But for this article as it’s out of sync with the normal pattern; I’ll send it by text later today and then the new routine will start from Tuesday.

Welcome to the twenty-third edition of “The Parenting Autism & Aspergers Newsletter”…

Inside this edition you will find:

1. Hot Topic of Discussion - Handling Big Emotions and Asperger
Syndrome by Lisa Jo Rudy

2. In the News – Autism, Aspergers and Evolution By Rusty Rockets

3. Parenting Tips - Making Friends - How Parents Can
Help Their Kids With Friendship By Patricia J. Robinson

4. Prominent People Linked with ASD - Charles Lindbergh, Aviator

Thanks

Dave

————————————————————

1. Hot Topic of Discussion - Handling Big Emotions and Asperger
Syndrome by Lisa Jo Rudy

(Question) Many people believe that people with autism have fewer
and less intense emotions than their peers. But those of us who know
Aspies know how wrong that is. It appears to us that people with
autism are more emotional than neurotypical folks.  An example
of this is Aspie teenagers who manage just fine at school for
awhile, but suddenly break down into tears, a panic attack, or
a tantrum when something goes wrong. How do parents help them
manage overwhelming anxiety/emotion?

(Answer) There are simple tricks like deep breathing, counting,
or stepping away, but it is not always easy for Aspies to
remember to use them. It helps to do something to decrease the
emotionality of a situation, if possible. Music helped me do that
because I could pour my emotions into it. Sometimes I would
explore the hills and meadows around my home. It helped to be
involved in activities that I enjoyed, that helped me make
friends. In my teen years, I was focused on myself and could not
sense what others felt or feel empathy for them. I eventually
learned to get rid of people who tried to become friends with
me for my financial means and those who wanted to involve me
in inappropriate activities.

To read the full article please go to: http://autism.about.com/b/2008/07/28/your-advice-requested-handling-big-emotions-and-asperger-syndrome.htm

People mentioned as having Asperger Syndrome may or may not
have actually have been diagnosed with it.

———————————————————–

2. In the News – 28 July 2005: Autism, Aspergers and Evolution
By Rusty Rockets

What is the difference between a genetic abnormality and genetic
evolution? Is genetic evolution resposible for mental disorders?
Researchers do not know the causes of autism and Aspergers disorders,
but they believe that autism and Aspergers are genetically oriented.
Are these “disorders” actually evolution at work?

“From my clinical experience I consider that children and adults
with Aspergers Syndrome have a different, not defective, way of
thinking,” states Tony Attwood, a clinical psychologist and author
of Aspergers Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals.
“Each person has a perspective on the world; autism and Asperger’s
may be the extremes of individual perspectives. The information that
our brains receive is analyzed and processed to cope with everyday life.
How this happens depends on how our brains are constructed and how genes
and DNA allow our brains to operate.”

This creates great variation in individual people and external factors
may also affect how genes work. Recent studies show that autism and
Aspergers probably do have genetic roots.  Experts claim that autism
occurs in 1:1000, and Aspergers disorder in 1:150 to 1:500 so there
are myriad ways in which people interpret the world, and perspectives
might be passed on to children and grandchildren.

A study by the Mount Sinai School of Medicine, published in the American
Journal of Psychiatry, claims that autism is a result of between five
and ten genetic mutations. “Having one of these variants appears to
approximately double an individuals risk for the disorder, but it is
an accumulation of genetic factors that cause the disease,” says Joseph
Buxbaum, Associate Professor of Psychiatry. “Identifying all or most of
the genes involved will lead to new diagnostic tools and new approaches
to treatment,” Buxbaum concludes. Considering that autism affects
a person’s mental condition, any treatment for autism or Aspergers
may also change personality; something to think about! If
autism is separated from the person, the person who is left will not
be the same person.

If autism is proven to be genetic, it cannot be “cured” without changing
the person dramatically.  So, are these “disorders” really evolution
at work?

To read the article go to: http://www.scienceagogo.com/news/autism_evolution.shtml

People mentioned above as having Asperger Syndrome may or may not
have actually have been diagnosed with it.

————————————————————-

3. Parenting Tips - Making Friends - How Parents Can Help Their Kids
With Friendship By Patricia J. Robinson

For some children, especially those diagnosed with autism, Aspergers,
or ADHD, making friends can be very difficult. If a child cannot make
and keep friends, life is miserable. But, there are simple steps that
parents can take to help make friendships easier for children.

1. Talk about it. Make sure there really is a problem. Some kids need
a lot of alone time.  Discuss friendship with your child and set a
realistic goal, such as two friends or someone to eat lunch with.

2. Get to know other parents. Other parents are a great resource and
can introduce your child around. A great place to meet them is
after school when you pick up your kid. Show up early, smile and chat,
while your child plays with the other kids.  For older kids, volunteer
at school as a way to meet other parents.

3. Join groups. Find a group your child can join: scouts, after
school classes, a sports team, or play group.

4. Work on social skills. Watch your child as he or she interacts with
other children.  What problems do you see?  Wait until you get home and
then talk to your child; if problems are serious or numerous, handle
them in a social skills group.

5. Pay attention to appearance. Observe the other kids at school. Does
your child stand out from the rest? Get rid of the too-short pants and
over-sized sweatshirt so your child will fit in with the group. Pay attention
to hygiene and behavior. Behavior that is appropriate for much younger
children can be the kiss of death as your child gets older.

6. Beware of being too different.  Even though your child may be brilliant
and unique, other kids may just think he is weird if he cannot discuss
kid-type interests. He does not have to give up his special interests.
Supplement them with knowledge that kids of his age have and enjoy sharing. Sit down as a family and watch popular TV shows or current movies.

7. Invite someone over. Discuss in advance what activities your child might
enjoy with a friend, role play a bit, and then step out of the picture.
Set up a few simple projects in case things do not go smoothly, such as an easy craft or a movie.

8. If your child can make just one friend, that makes the school day enjoyable. He will have a partner for projects and someone to eat lunch with.

9. But, if at all possible, encourage your child to develop more friendships so that the one friend will not get burned out.

10. The teacher may be able to step in and assist your child. Many teachers will set up work groups to help shy kids socialize. Find a social skills group.
Therapists can work on the basics with your child, too.

To read the full article go to: http://patriciarobinsonmft.com/download.asp

Please post any tips that you have and I will publish them.

You can post them at:

http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/parenting-tips-wanted/

————————————————————

4. Prominent People Linked with ASD - Charles Lindbergh, Aviator

On Oct. 4, 2006, Michael Fitzgerald of Trinity College, Dublin, Ireland
presented a paper “Autism, Aspergers Syndrome and Creativity,” mentioning Charles Lindbergh as having had Aspergers.

Charles Lindbergh (1902-1974), was an American pilot who made the first lone non-stop flight across the Atlantic Ocean in 1927. He was awarded the Medal of Honor (USA) and the French Legion of Honor, as well as a Pulitzer Prize for his autobiography. Lindbergh is one of the famous people described in the book “Genius Genes: How Asperger Talents Changed the World” by Michael Fitzgerald and Brendan O’Brien.

Lindbergh, known as Lucky Lindy, was born in Detroit, Michigan. His father, Charles Lindbergh Sr., was a lawyer and later a U.S. Congressman. In 1922, Charles, Jr. quit a mechanical engineering program and joined a pilot training program, bought his own plane, and became a stunt pilot. In 1924, he trained as a pilot with the Army Air Service.

After his first solo flight across the Atlantic Ocean, Lindbergh gained international fame. He flew from New York to Paris on May 20-May 21, 1927 in his single-engine aircraft “The Spirit of St. Louis,” flying for 33.5 hours. Lindbergh is also recognized for charting polar air-routes, high altitude flying techniques, and increasing aircraft flying ranges by decreasing fuel consumption.

According to a Biography Channel program on Lindbergh, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, was the only woman he ever asked out on a date before marriage. He taught her how to fly. They had six children, the first of whom, Charles Augustus Lindbergh III, 20 months old, was kidnapped on March 1, 1932. His body was found on May 12 in New Jersey, after a nationwide search and ransom negotiations with the kidnappers. The man accused of the murder, Bruno Hauptmann, went on trial and was convicted. The Lindberghs moved to Europe in December, 1935. Hauptmann was executed on April 3, 1936.

Charles Lindbergh has been reported to have been a recluse, but after his death, one of his daughters discovered that he had three other families in Europe and had fathered six or seven children in addition to the six with Anne Morrow.

To see the full text of the article go to: http.www.wikipedia.org

People mentioned above as having Asperger Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with it.
————————————————————-

I hope you have enjoyed this month’s newsletter.

The next edition of the newsletter is due in October.

And as ever … please send in any inspirational stories
that you know of, any questions that you would like our team
of experts to answer, any topics that you wish to be discussed
and news stories that you want to share VIA THE BLOG.

We will publish as many as we can.

Until next month………

Best Wishes

Dave Angel

http://www.parentingaspergers.com

P.S. Please feel free to forward this newsletter to your
friends.

Due to problems in people seeing this article - this is a test post to see if it will resolve the issue:

I’ve just been to the local Play Zone with my daughter so I’m hoping to get this blog entry done quickly – whilst she sleeps off her morning’s exercise! My baby’s growing up – she’s all of 15 months now! So here goes for this week’s article on social skills …

Question

I would like to know how to advise my son on social skills, such as making friends without being insulting to others.

Answer

One of the behavioural traits seen in children with Asperger’s Syndrome is a lack of empathy. They don’t realize that other people have thoughts and interests that are different from theirs. They’ll interrupt a conversation and start churning out facts about their pet interest - which could be something like medieval history, Star Wars’ trivia, or math - even if it has nothing to do with what the other children are talking about. This and their lack of other social skills, such as looking others in the eyes when conversing, responding appropriately to greetings and questions, and understanding fads and the interests of peers makes making friends very difficult for Asperger’s children.

With some Asperger’s children, social abilities remain intact or aren’t really noticed until around age eight. It is around this time that their classmates begin perceiving them as “different.” The child is singled out for teasing. In addition, the child may be seen as oppositional because children with Asperger’s Syndrome take words and gestures very literally. Communication with Asperger’s children must be “concrete” (brief and easily understood).

Your son can be taught most of the same social skills that children without Asperger’s learn on their own. You can work with your son’s school to produce cards or posters with facial expressions that define feelings. Also, full-length mirrors can be used to make children aware of their facial expressions and overall body language. You and his teachers can role play social situations with him to help him learn appropriate responses and actions.

Speaking of schools, it is unfortunate that there are few schools fully equipped to help children with Asperger’s Syndrome. The number of schools with diagnostically appropriate services will increase when parents, doctors, and social service practitioners lobby educational institutions for assistance in teaching Asperger’s children.

Until the school provides more assistance with your son, there are a number of things that you can do at home. You can surround your son with friends and family so he will have familiar people around on a consistent basis. If your son is intimidated by a large number of people, just have one friend over at a time.

In addition to friends, you can train your son in appropriate social and perceptual skills. He can learn to perceive and interpret nonverbal behaviors, process visual and auditory information, and become aware of social/behavioural conventions. To help you with teaching your son social skills, you might want to purchase the video productions “Model Me Conversation” and “Model Me Friendship.” Click the link below to access them:

Social Skills

In addition to the above videos, there is a book titled:

Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Understanding and Managing Social Challenges for Those with Aspergers/Autism

written by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron. Both Grandin and Barron are diagnosed as having high-functioning autism, and they have written a book that helps people with Asperger’s Syndrome cope with daily social demands.

To help you help your son, go on the internet and look for Asperger’s Syndrome support groups. Look for a group in your area. If there is none available, there are people who stay in touch via the internet. Whether in person or over the internet, they can give you advice and support which will help you help your son.

PS – I’ve got some great news about the new website. I’ve finally found some software that can do everything that a web community needs to keep in touch, updated with developments on all things Aspergers etc. Plus the exciting part is this software is about to be upgraded to allow people in the community to be able to have their own little area like on MySpace on Facebook.

So for those who really want to share, grow and develop with other parents this will be an awesome addition. But don’t worry this won’t be compulsory! So if you prefer to stay low key and just update yourself on the new developments, research and ideas at the website then that will be just fine too.

And some slight bad news … it looks likely to be around January when I can have all this ready to go. Which when you think we’re already in October isn’t too long anyway really.

PPS – The newsletter for this month will be out in the next few days; sorry for the delay!

Take Care

Dave Angel

Hello there and I hope you’re having a happy Tuesday. I’ve just been to the local Play Zone with my daughter so I’m hoping to get this blog entry done quickly – whilst she sleeps off her morning’s exercise! My baby’s growing up – she’s all of 15 months now! So here goes for this week’s article on social skills …

Question

I would like to know how to advise my son on social skills, such as making friends without being insulting to others.

Answer

One of the behavioural traits seen in children with Asperger’s Syndrome is a lack of empathy. They don’t realize that other people have thoughts and interests that are different from theirs. They’ll interrupt a conversation and start churning out facts about their pet interest - which could be something like medieval history, Star Wars’ trivia, or math - even if it has nothing to do with what the other children are talking about. This and their lack of other social skills, such as looking others in the eyes when conversing, responding appropriately to greetings and questions, and understanding fads and the interests of peers makes making friends very difficult for Asperger’s children.

With some Asperger’s children, social abilities remain intact or aren’t really noticed until around age eight. It is around this time that their classmates begin perceiving them as “different.” The child is singled out for teasing. In addition, the child may be seen as oppositional because children with Asperger’s Syndrome take words and gestures very literally. Communication with Asperger’s children must be “concrete” (brief and easily understood).

Your son can be taught most of the same social skills that children without Asperger’s learn on their own. You can work with your son’s school to produce cards or posters with facial expressions that define feelings. Also, full-length mirrors can be used to make children aware of their facial expressions and overall body language. You and his teachers can role play social situations with him to help him learn appropriate responses and actions.

Speaking of schools, it is unfortunate that there are few schools fully equipped to help children with Asperger’s Syndrome. The number of schools with diagnostically appropriate services will increase when parents, doctors, and social service practitioners lobby educational institutions for assistance in teaching Asperger’s children.

Until the school provides more assistance with your son, there are a number of things that you can do at home. You can surround your son with friends and family so he will have familiar people around on a consistent basis. If your son is intimidated by a large number of people, just have one friend over at a time.

In addition to friends, you can train your son in appropriate social and perceptual skills. He can learn to perceive and interpret nonverbal behaviors, process visual and auditory information, and become aware of social/behavioural conventions. To help you with teaching your son social skills, you might want to purchase the video productions “Model Me Conversation” and “Model Me Friendship.” Click the link below to access them:

Social Skills

In addition to the above videos, there is a book titled:

Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Understanding and Managing Social Challenges for Those with Aspergers/Autism

written by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron. Both Grandin and Barron are diagnosed as having high-functioning autism, and they have written a book that helps people with Asperger’s Syndrome cope with daily social demands.

To help you help your son, go on the internet and look for Asperger’s Syndrome support groups. Look for a group in your area. If there is none available, there are people who stay in touch via the internet. Whether in person or over the internet, they can give you advice and support which will help you help your son.

PS – I’ve got some great news about the new website. I’ve finally found some software that can do everything that a web community needs to keep in touch, updated with developments on all things Aspergers etc. Plus the exciting part is this software is about to be upgraded to allow people in the community to be able to have their own little area like on MySpace on Facebook.

So for those who really want to share, grow and develop with other parents this will be an awesome addition. But don’t worry this won’t be compulsory! So if you prefer to stay low key and just update yourself on the new developments, research and ideas at the website then that will be just fine too.

And some slight bad news … it looks likely to be around January when I can have all this ready to go. Which when you think we’re already in October isn’t too long anyway really.

PPS – The newsletter for this month will be out in the next few days; sorry for the delay!

Take Care

Dave Angel

Hi there and I hope you’re having a good week so far. We’ve had a few rare rays of sunshine for the last couple of days here in the UK – but true to form it looks like rain again today!

This week’s article looks into something called “selective mutism” and its links to Aspergers …

Question

One of my Aspie sons (17) hollers when distressed; the other (15) gets more silent. It’s the silent one I worry about, but social integration suffers for both. I just hope it gets better in adulthood. What’s known about “selective mutism?”

Answer

The Definition of Selective Mutism

Selective Mutism is a psychiatric disorder, and it is most commonly found in children.

The predominant feature of Selective Mutism is a persistent failure to speak in various settings. This lack of vocal skills usually lasts for more than one month. Typically, a child who exhibits the signs of Selective Mutism will speak with their parents, but with few other people. These children aren’t known for speaking in a school setting or in social situations that they perceive to be stressful. Studies indicate that Selective Mutism is related to anxiety and shyness; however, the specific cause is unknown.

Children with Selective Mutism will respond to people using silent physical responses like pointing, nodding their heads, or simply remaining motionless. It can be difficult to discern what the child wants when there is little responsive information available; yet, the meaning of the child’s limited actions can only be guessed until it appears that the child has had its needs met.

The child appears to be withdrawn during the early years, and a diagnosis of Selective Mutism may not be given until the child has entered school. When the diagnosis has been made, the child has been used to communicating with physical motions and not speech; therefore, physical communication has become the most familiar response for the child.

The Diagnosis of Selective Mutism

These are the diagnostic criteria for Selective Mutism; the child:

1. Will not speak in school or in social situations
2. Has an inability to speak that interferes with their ability to successfully function in school and/or social settings
3. Exhibits mutism that has persisted for at least one month
4. Is not experiencing a communication disorder, and the mutism is not occurring along with another mental disorder.

A child is most likely to develop Selective Mutism if they exhibit a genetic predisposition to anxiety. In addition, the child may demonstrate severe anxiety, temper tantrums, crying, mood changes, sleep problems, and extreme shyness. Some theorists state that mutism is developed to control feelings of internal anxiety when in social situations. The children will speak normally when they are in a setting that they feel is comfortable, and when they feel secure and relaxed.

The Treatment of Selective Mutism

1. Behaviour Modification – Desensitization and positive reinforcement for speaking to familiar people
2. Self-Esteem Enhancement – Placing an emphasis on the child’s successes
3. Socialization – Meeting and spending time with familiar people first, then unfamiliar people with familiar people present
4. Cognitive Therapy – A form of behaviour change that helps replace fears with positive activities
5. Medication – Short-term (less than one year) psychotropic administration.

When Selective Mutism is accurately diagnosed and properly treated, the symptoms can be controlled and minimized. This contributes to the child’s being able to communicate with others, and it will increase self sufficiency and self esteem. When Selective Mutism is treated and monitored, the child can move from suffering in silence to active communication and social integration.

That’s all for this week - but I just wanted to let you know that I am still working away the best I can behind the scenes on the new Aspergers website! I noticed a comment on the blog this week – that some people are struggling to read the full articles. This is a problem that seems to persist whatever my web guy does – as people use different internet browsers, so it affects different people.

But the new website will definitely not have this problem and will be much easier to navigate and use. I am currently looking at the different kinds of software available for you guys; so it may be some time before everything is completed. But be assured it’s a work in progress – and I’ll keep up-dating you as it develops.

Have a great day

Dave Angel

Hi there – this week’s Aspergers articles looks at explaining Aspergers to other people. The new web project is now coming along well and one thing I noticed whilst researching new articles is that there are a lot more subscribers with daughters than I realised. Despite Aspergers being a largely male diagnosis (statistically at least) there are a lot of you parents with female aspies. So I’m going to work hard at covering this more on the new site. Here’s this week’s article:

Question

My 11 year old son has just been diagnosed with Asperger’s, and I’d like to know what to tell friends, neighbours, teachers, and extended family to help them understand his behaviour.

Answer

Asperger’s Syndrome was first noticed in 1944, and it was first seen in children that had been diagnosed with autistic personality disorder. A researcher by the name of Asperger worked with children and saw that they exhibited delays in social maturity, social reasoning, and social abilities. He found verbal- and non-verbal impairments in communication, especially when the children attempted to converse. Asperger also observed that the children had difficulties controlling emotions, but they could intellectualize their feelings.

Further research by Asperger found that the children became preoccupied with various interests and these would dominate their thought processes. Asperger also found that some of the children were having learning problems, difficulty with coordination, and that they exhibited a marked sensitivity to certain smells, sounds, and textures.

You can start sharing information by giving friends and relatives an introduction to Asperger’s Syndrome using the above paragraphs. This will provide them with some history and context. Sharing information on any illness or diagnosis requires tact and discretion. You might want to tell the people in your life on a “need-to-know” basis.

It is very important to stress that a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome does not make your child “weird” or inferior. Make sure you stress the positive elements that can be found in people with Asperger’s Syndrome. There are actors, authors, researchers, and scientists who have been diagnosed with Asperger’s, and they have achieved seemingly insurmountable life goals. When your friends and relatives are aware of these facts, it will help dispel the mystery and confusion that surrounds Asperger’s.

When you discuss Asperger’s Syndrome with children, you can use classroom materials that have been developed to assist children in understanding this diagnosis. Go on the internet to a company called AAPC and you will find several books about Asperger’s. Also, look for a local group that helps people and their relatives cope with Asperger’s Syndrome.

One highly recommended book is Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals by Tony Attwood. Mr. Attwood is a leading expert on Asperger’s Syndrome, and his book provides a wealth of information that you can use as discussion topics.

After you have shared some of the above information, ask the person/people you are talking with if they have any questions or concerns about anything that you have discussed. Let them know that any question or concern they may have is valid, and you are not going to be offended by their inquiries. Not only will this ease communications, it will prove you to be a mature, open-minded individual who loves your child and cares about friends and family.

Thanks and have a great day

Dave Angel

Hi there it’s Dave Angel with this week’s blog article. But before that I just wanted to let you know that after a few weeks of summer time “slacking” the new Aspergers web project is beginning to take shape. I am sorting through all the different topic areas that people need to know more about.

Knowledge and information about existing services seems to be a huge gap for many parents right across the globe. So part of my current research is about compiling an up-to-date database of Aspergers professionals around the world. I’ll keep you posted as this progresses.

Now on to this week’s question which is

Question

I need help in teaching my daughter appropriate sexual behavior. She will be 16 in June, has Asperger’s, and acts out sexually. She feels this is what she is “supposed” to do when she likes a boy, and I just can’t get her to feel moral values.

Answer

A 16-year-old girl with Asperger’s Syndrome will have a fully developed female body, but it is unlikely that she will have a full understanding of adolescent sexuality. Depending on her exposure to popular media, she may have formulated an impression of sexuality from the licentious “celebrities” that have become well-known for their use of drugs and alcohol and their fickle, promiscuous sexual behaviour. Your daughter could very well believe that behaviours such as candid flirtation, physical sexual cues, sexual language, and sexual activity are what she, as you say, “is supposed to do when she likes a boy.” The media sends this message loud and clear!

Your daughter needs the advice of a professional counselor now as she is exhibiting behaviour that could lead to very severe consequences.

In addition to the negative effects of the media, teenagers with Asperger’s Syndrome do not acquire “street smarts” when it comes to dating or sex. As a result, they are naïve and misinformed about sex.

Your daughter is an adolescent and she wants to develop an identity separate from yours. One aspect of this development is challenging your thoughts and beliefs. When this happens, many parents feel that they have to be friends with their children in order to keep calm in the home. In doing so, they abdicate their parental responsibility, and children suffer in the process. Your daughter still needs to have clearly defined rules while she is living in your home. You know the possible negative consequences of overtly sexual behavior, she does not. Impose specific rules on her; she shouldn’t be alone with boys or be dating, considering the situation.

She may not understand why you are imposing rules; you need to stress that they are for her benefit, now and in the future, and explain why in very specific terms (i.e.; to protect her from sexual diseases, HIV/AIDS, and pregnancy). She needs to understand not just what the consequences of sexual activity are, but what will happen if she gets a venereal disease, HIV/AIDS, or gets pregnant. This will be far more meaningful to her than vague advice about “morality.”

It is imperative that you teach your daughter about sex. She needs specific details about responsible sexual behavior and the consequences of reckless intimacy. Start with basic sex education and move on from there. Freely expressing her sexual feelings because she thinks it is the only way to be accepted and loved must be countered with facts about sexual consequences and information on more appropriate ways to be accepted by boys.

For further information on this subject, consider reading the book http://Asperger’s and Sexuality: Puberty and Beyond by Jerry and Mary Newport. This book was written by two adults who have been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. They are a married couple, and their book provides information about young adults with Asperger’s and the issue of sexuality. The topics in this book include birth control, dating, disease prevention, sexuality, and taking personal responsibility for sexually related behaviour.

In addition to the above book, go online and read “Sexuality and Autism.” It is posted at http://autism.about.com/od/transitioncollegejobs/f/sexed.htm

PARENTING AUTISM & ASPERGERS NEWSLETTER
VOLUME 22
AUGUST 2008

Welcome to the twenty-second edition
of “The Parenting Autism & Aspergers Newsletter”…

Inside this edition you will find:

1. Hot Topic of Discussion - Homeschooling a Child With
Asperger Syndrome

2. In the News – Kids With Aspergers Take Up Journalism

3. Parenting Tips - Homework, When is the Best Time for
Homework?

4. Prominent People Linked with ASD - Dan Ackroyd, Actor

Thanks

Dave

————————————————————

1. Hot Topic of Discussion -

Home Schooling a Child With Aspergers Syndrome

Steph, parent of a five-year-old, states that her daughter was
already reading, had advanced verbal skills, and loved to learn
about science, but wasn’t following simple directions and
routines, putting away her things, or transitioning from one
activity to another at school. She didn’t follow rules or play
with other kids on the playground. This child was later
identified as “gifted” and diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome
and Non-Verbal Learning Disability.

Children with Aspergers are intelligent and have excellent verbal
abilities. They struggle with social, motor, and organizational
skills. “Reading” other people’s emotions, facial expressions,
and body language is extremely hard, as is conversation. They
are often physically uncoordinated. So this child had significant
problems at school.

But, if Aspergers children can focus on their own interests,
they accomplish amazing things. For this reason, the traditional
scope and sequence of public education does not make sense for them.
Since Steph’s daughter’s needs were not being met in a public
school setting, even with an Individualized Education Plan (IEP),
home schooling was a good choice for her. Instead of focusing on
the things teachers wanted her to learn, she could concentrate on
things that make sense in her life. Thus, her mother took on the task
of homeschooling her.

But, what about social skills, you may ask? Social skills can be
developed in the family, community, and among friends. Now, if
she doesn’t feel comfortable with other kids on a playground, she
does not have to stay. She is free to choose friends from among many
people in the community and to build relationships at her own speed.

Now 13, this young lady has a life that focuses on her strengths and
abilities rather than on her weaknesses.

To read the full article please go to:
http://lifewithoutschool.typepad.com/lifewithoutschool/2008/05/home-schooling.html

People mentioned above as having Asperger Syndrome may or may not
have actually have been diagnosed with it.

———————————————————–

2. In the News – Kids With Aspergers Take up Journalism
by Carnez Williams

For a few summer day camp kids with Asperger’s Syndrome, getting
interviews, shooting video, and writing news stories are all in
a day’s work. In Wichita, Kansas, USA, 60 preschool through high
school students with Aspergers Syndrome are attending Camp SSTAR
(Social Skills Technology Asperger Recreation) which focuses on
journalism and is designed to help kids improve socialization and
communication skills. The kids love the computers and doing
research on particular topics. At the end of each week, a newscast
is produced with the children doing the reporting, script writing,
videotaping and anchoring. A DVD of the newscast is mailed to each
camper. Important for many campers is spreading awareness about
Aspergers. Christian, a 17-year-old Camp SSTAR intern with Aspergers,
says he wants people to know having the disorder isn’t necessarily
a bad thing. “We’re really unique, and you won’t find anybody like
us,” Christian states. “I’m kind of glad I have it, and I’m glad I
get to be around kids who do have it.”

To read the article go to: http://www.kansas.com/news/

People mentioned above as having Asperger Syndrome may or may not
have actually have been diagnosed with it.

————————————————————-

3. Parenting Tips - Homework, When is the Best Time for
Homework? by Patricia Robinson, M.A., MFT

When kids should do their homework is a difficult question
for many parents. Finishing homework right after school may
not be realistic because many kids need a break after a long
day at school. Food and exercise helps them prepare to focus.
Have them eat a healthy snack and then go for a short walk or
play outdoors for a few minutes. Set a time to begin with a
warning bell or timer and use the timer to pace your child’s
work. This helps the child learn how fast time passes.
Children in grades K-2 can usually handle 10 to 30 minutes
of homework per night; children in grades 3-6, up to 60
minutes. Remind your child to stay on task. If your child
is taking longer to finish, discuss the issue with his or
her teacher.

To read the full article go to:
http://patriciarobinsonmft.com/download.asp

Please post any tips that you have and I will publish them.

You can post them at:

*http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/parenting-tips-wanted/*

————————————————————

4. Prominent People Linked with ASD - Dan Aykroyd, Actor

Dan Ackroyd was born in 1952 in Canada. He became a film actor,
comedian, singer, screenwriter, one of the famous Blues
Brothers (along with Jim Belushi), and an original cast member
of the Saturday Night Live TV show. He was made a Member of the
Order of Canada in 2000. In a radio interview on Nov. 22, 2004,
Aykroyd claimed to have been diagnosed as a child with Asperger
and Tourette Syndromes, and he also mentioned schizophrenia. It
is possible that during his childhood, in the early 1960s, his
autism was erroneously thought to be “childhood schizophrenia.”
He was born with syndactyly, webbed toes, and heterochromia, two
differently colored eyes. Of his Tourettes and “special interest,”
Dan has said, “Well, it was mostly physical tics, you know, and
nervousness kind of thing, and that kind of thing, you know,
like grunting and tics and the classic Tourette’s type syndrome,
that type of thing. But by the time I was 14 it was allayed and
I really haven’t had too much occurrence except on the Asperger’s
side, where I have a fascination with police, and I always have
to have a badge with me. … I have a fascination with law
enforcement and the police. My grandfather was a Mountie and that.
If I don’t have a badge on me, I feel naked.”

To see the full text of the article go to:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/419044.html

People mentioned above as having Asperger Syndrome may or may not
have actually have been diagnosed with it.
————————————————————-

I hope you have enjoyed this month’s newsletter.

The next edition of the newsletter is due in September.

And as ever … please send in any inspirational stories
that you know of, any questions that you would like our team
of experts to answer, any topics that you wish to be discussed
and news stories that you want to share VIA THE BLOG.

We will publish as many as we can.

Until next month………

Best Wishes

Dave Angel

Hi everyone here’s this weeks blog article which focuses on the following question I was asked:

“I have a ten-year-old boy with Asperger’s Syndrome who is high functioning. We are consistent with making him aware of what is socially unacceptable and why. It seems to go in one ear and out the other though. For instance, at meal time we always tell him to eat with his mouth closed. He will do as we say for 20 seconds and then he’s right back to chewing with his mouth open. We have sent him to eat in the other room, or we take away dessert if he continues after the fourth prompt. We have had no success for the past 2 years! Do you have any ideas or do you think that it’s something he can’t help?”

Answer

This can be a “Catch-22” situation because, even though you want your son’s behavior to change in a positive manner, it might become more resistant or rigid if he is confronted or forced to behave in a manner that he finds disagreeable. This can become a long-term power struggle that can lead to your frustration and his feelings of failure.

In this case, giving your son rewards might have better results than imposing punishment. One possible solution would be “fun money” for your son. You can make or purchase “fun” (fake) money for your son to use when he behaves in a socially acceptable manner. The money can be spent for privileges, such as time spent with a video game, or other activities he enjoys. This money can be made from ordinary paper, or it can be purchased from the Lakeshore Company at www.lakeshorelearning.com Type in the words “Paper Money” when you are on this website. If your son behaves in an unacceptable manner, you can impose a financial penalty, and your son has to give a portion of the money back to you. However, if he has to give too much back, he might never earn the reward, so reserve the “fines” for very serious transgressions of the rules.

An effective economic-reward system is based on consistency in enforcing it and keeping the list of rewards/penalties attainable and short. Start this system with just one goal to earn reward and increase the goals as he gets a feel for how it works. Try using one standard-size piece of paper and list the rewards on the left-hand side and the penalties on the right-hand side. Your son will be able to comprehend this list without it overwhelming him. This way, when he is rewarded or punished, he will know that there are limits being set and he has a degree of control over how much he will receive or forfeit. Your son will feel a sense of empowerment with this system, and it will allow him to make choices; he will learn from both.

A structured reward system works well with Asperger’s children because they do extremely well with structure, consistency, and clarity. When there is no structure, the Asperger’s child feels that chaos is controlling his life. A reward system maintains structure for your son, and it eliminates chaos from his life.

Structure, consistency, and clarity will give your son a sense of mastery over his environment. Whether you incorporate the solution proposed above or one that you obtain elsewhere, you will be integrating predictability into your son’s life, and this leads to his being able to rely upon you as being supportive and fair in his upbringing. Children without Asperger’s Syndrome and within your son’s age range are coping with the beginning of adolescence. Children like your son are coping with the same thing, except they find that they have to deal with the Asperger’s diagnosis in addition to everything else.

You need to make sure that the consistency that we stress here is maintained for your son’s benefit. Do not let your feelings and emotions take precedence because of the stress that accompanies any child-discipline procedure. Stay calm and let him choose to earn reward or pay fines. Also, be willing and available to discuss discipline with your son; it’s important regardless of any diagnosis that your son has. Above all, be truthful and sincere; your son will know that you love him and care about his well being.

Take Care

Dave Angel

Hi I am back from my vacation and so normal Tuesday night Aspergers blogging should now be resumed. Just a quick apology as it seems that no matter what I try and get my techie guy to do, there are some people who can’t quite read the pages on the blog clearly.

But fortunately that is going to be another cool feature of the new project – as I am going to be using some software that is supposedly much more rigid than then the free software (Wordpress) that I use right now. So for those still struggling to read the blog please accept my apologies – and hold on as things will get better!

This week’s post focuses on the following question:

Does my child know what’s right and what’s wrong? It seems he does not really know the difference.

On the surface, the issue of right and wrong appears to be a complicated one for Asperger’s children, but it is not. Children with Asperger’s Syndrome have very firm ideas of right and wrong, and they can become argumentative with adults and peers over issues of proper or improper behavior. They are typically unable to consider shades of grey and will perceive issues in black or white terms; however, they can discuss those issues with an adult and come to an agreement when solutions are proposed to them.

The good news is that Asperger’s children are known for being able to follow clearly explained and set rules that are consistent, and this trait can be used to help them learn right from wrong. As these children mature, they will learn right from wrong in a rote manner at first; but later they will develop a greater understanding of why something is right or wrong. An important factor is that the rules, and the explanation for the rules, should be explained in a manner that they understand, and the rules should be consistently enforced.

In fact, their inclination to learn right from wrong can be so profound, it might seem that Asperger’s children are pre-programmed to detect right and wrong, and they might even bluntly announce that a request or activity is right or wrong. Also, they will take notice of others’ incorrect behavior, but not their own; this can be perceived as a double standard. In addition, they may not be able to show empathy for others, and this can lead to problems as they may do or say things that seem wrong because they may not be able to understand or empathize with another person’s feelings.

Children and adults who do not have a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome can relate to other people and engage effectively in social interactions with others because they are able to perceive things from another individual’s point of view. The ability to comprehend someone else’s point of view is the result of correctly perceiving speech patterns, body language, tone of voice, facial movements, and the situation in which communication is taking place. Children with Asperger’s Syndrome and other autistic disorders can lack the capacity to relate to and understand others’ feelings or behavioral nuances, particularly on an emotional level. Also, the child’s inability to interpret someone else’s actions, whether deliberate or unintentional, can result in the child’s experiencing paranoia. This can result in inappropriate behavior.

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome may not exhibit traditionally moral feelings or behaviors because Asperger’s denies them the ability to experience the capacity for emotion and introspection on which society’s perceptions of morality are based. These children do not experience the feelings associated with traditional right and wrong; yet, they may possess a sense of ethics as well as a cognitive understanding of right and wrong. Asperger’s Syndrome does not completely remove a child’s awareness of correct and incorrect behavior; it does allow them to behave with a sense of socially acceptable morality if they are helped to do so.

All the best

Dave Angel