Question:

How can I help him child with Aspergers realize his giftedness when he doesn’t want to study and has problems with reading and writing?

Answer:

Their giftedness is just one of the many special things that children with Aspergers have to offer the world.  It is very important that he realizes his special gift and embraces it as much as possible.  His giftedness can play a vital role in his future career, and it can bring him a great deal of happiness throughout his life.

You can help your son discover his giftedness and help him with his needs in reading and writing as well.

• Find a tutor that specializes in working with children with special needs.  A tutor can help your son improve his reading and writing skills.  He needs these important skills now and in the future.  It is best that you target this area as soon as possible.  You should make sure that the tutor has extensive experience working with children with Aspergers so that he or she understands how to approach his educational needs.

• Try out different special interest groups that you think your son will enjoy.  The best way to get your son to realize his giftedness is to expose him to different special interest groups.  He can make the decision to become a part of a certain group if he desires.  You can also help him to discover his giftedness by selecting certain groups that you think will help him discover his talents. This great way to help him narrow down his choices so that he can find something interests him sooner.

• Create opportunities for him to socialize with other children with Aspergers. Allowing him to be around other children with Aspergers will help him understand how gifted he is.  He can see how other children have discovered their special interest and use it in their daily lives.  Consider joining an Aspergers groups in your area so that your son has opportunities to mingle with other children with Aspergers so that they can show off their talents to each other.

• Consider using books on tape that relate to his area of giftedness.  A solution to his reading deficits is books on tape.  Allow him to listen to various stories that may interest him.  Topics in his area of giftedness are probably the best for your son.

In time, your son will discover how wonderful his giftedness is and how it can add to his experiences in life.  Expose him to different things so that he can understand the special gift that he has been given.

Additional Resources

Teaching Gifted Kids in the Regular Classroom: Strategies and Techniques Every Teacher Can Use to meet the Academic Needs of the Gifted and Talented by Susan Winebrenner

Question:

Can you give advice for teenagers with Aspergers and dating?

Answer:

The teen years can be very complicated for kids with Asperger’s.  Dating can be especially confusing due to the social struggles and communication problems caused by Asperger’s Syndrome.  Here is a list of the most common problems when it comes to dating.

• Sensory Difficulties can make it difficult to go out on a date.  The sights, smells, and sounds of restaurants and movie theaters can be overwhelming to the teen with Asperger’s Syndrome.

• Recognizing the emotions that come with dating is also a challenge.  Teens with Asperger’s Syndrome usually have a hard time identifying emotional facial expressions, body language, and conversation.

• Social skills such as social cues and gestures, two-party conversations, and understanding sarcasm, humor, and slang can be nearly impossible for the teen with Asperger’s Syndrome to sort through.

• Routine is desirable for teens with Asperger’s Syndrome, but does not always lend itself to the world of dating.  Without a set routine, he may feel he is losing control of his life.

• Obsessions work against a dating relationship unless the topic is a mutual interest.  If not, this obsession will definitely compete for the affections of the teen with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Parents can help their teen with these Asperger’s dating issues.  The first thing parents should do is teach basic dating guidelines like how a person should be treated, how to guarantee safety, and how to develop friendships.  It is also a good idea for parents to role-play and practice dating situations, as well as review proper social skills.  “The Guide to Dating for Teenagers with Asperger Syndrome,” by Jennifer Uhlenkamp is a book written in the form of a question and answer session with a special education teacher.  This is followed by sections of discussion questions to help parents talk with their teens.

Some teens may need professional help with Asperger’s dating issues.  Autism support groups often have social skills classes for teens with Asperger’s Syndrome.  Individual counseling can help reduce anxiety and fear over the dating situation.

This time of life is scary and exciting for teens with Asperger’s.  Dating does not have to be anxiety-ridden.  With the help of parents, teachers, and counselors, teens with Asperger’s Syndrome can be successful in social relationships.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

Question:

How do you work with the children with Aspergers in the classroom?

Answer:

When one of your students has Asperger’s, classroom strategies will be necessary to keep everyone in harmony.  Children with Asperger’s Syndrome have very distinctive needs.  Usually very intelligent, the student with Asperger’s may struggle to make the grade due to the characteristics of this condition.  Sensory issues, difficulty with change and transitioning, and language pragmatics weakness are just a few of the many symptoms caused by Asperger’s Syndrome that can interfere with a child’s education.

As a classroom instructor, you must find a way to support your student with Asperger’s.  Classroom distractions, social situations, and the student’s tendency towards obsessive thinking and behavior can make this a difficult task.  Your first move should be towards purchasing a published resource.  You can find classroom guides for all types of special needs situations.

Your school’s special education department should have helpful information about the challenges of Asperger’s.  Classroom strategies should be available to you through this department.  As you begin to research classroom strategies for Asperger’s, here are some examples of what you may find.  You can eliminate those suggestions that do not apply to your classroom situation.

* Structure is one of the most common solutions since most students with Asperger’s Syndrome thrive in structured environments.  Keep your students engaged throughout the day for the best possible performance.

* Rules are important for all children, but kids with Asperger’s tend to be especially mindful of the rules.  Even in times when he desires to go a different direction, the rules will keep your student with Asperger’s on track, albeit, begrudgingly.

* Routine is another necessity.  Children with Asperger’s Syndrome need to know what is happening next or they can become anxious and unproductive.

* Advanced notice of any changes in routine will help reduce the drama caused by unexpected transitions.

* Verbal and visual aids like verbal time warnings, visual timers, and daily picture schedules can help ease the student’s mind about changes and transition times.

* A safe place is an area in or outside of the classroom that can be used during a meltdown, or to prevent a meltdown.

These are just a few of the many strategies you can use to assist your student with Asperger’s.  Classroom guidelines against bullying and negative social interactions should also be considered.  With these solutions in place, your classroom should remain a positive learning environment.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

P.S. Don’t forget there are lots more great education articles at my Aspergers Education Blog

Question:

How can I help my son with Aspergers to gain advocacy skills?

Answer:

It is important that parents teach their children with Asperger’s advocacy skills.  In order to become independent adult, your son must be able to speak for himself.  Because you recognize this vital need, your son has a true advantage for a bright future.  The first step to teaching your son about self-advocacy is explaining exactly what it means to be an advocate.

Learning about Asperger’s advocacy is not complicated.  A self-advocate will be able to stand up for himself, will make his own decisions, and will understand how to find relevant information, where to find support, and what his personal rights are.  A self-advocate will be able to take all of this information and ability and use it for the appropriate purposes, to advance his position in the world.

There are several resources you can use to teach your son with Asperger’s advocacy skills.  One example is the program, “The Integrated Self-Advocacy ISA™ Curriculum: A Program for Emerging Self-Advocates with Autism Spectrum and Other Conditions,” by Valerie Paradiz, Ph.D.; foreword by Stephen Shore, Ed.D.  (Separate student workbook is also available.)  This program is a complete curriculum that guides the individual to make a self-advocacy portfolio.  It can be used in the school setting or in the home.

When teaching your son with Asperger’s advocacy skills, you must first begin with self-awareness.  Your son must know his diagnosis of Asperger’s, what it means for him personally, and how it affects him in every way.  Once he owns his diagnosis, he will be on his way to making his own decisions.  However, there is still a lot of work for him to do before he becomes a self-advocate.  Here are the next steps.

• He needs to witness an advocate in action.  This can mean watching you during his IEP meeting, for example.  It could also be a specific advocacy aide that is chosen to work with your son.  He will watch this person plan the motion, but only as an observer.

• He needs an advocacy aide to act as his guide.  This aide will plan the activity or motion along with your son, sharing the advocacy opportunity.  This step can take quite a while, with the guide’s participation slowly weaning downward.  Eventually, the participation will become equal and then move on towards independent self-advocacy.  Given the variable of self-advocacy opportunities, this step could take months or it could take years.

• He needs the support of his aide as he begins to take on more responsibility.  This step will evolve slowly over time, as discussed above.

• He needs to take control as his aide witnesses his self-advocacy.  You will notice that the roles have completely reversed.  Your son is now gaining control.

Question:

How can I help my son with Aspergers to thrive at high school?

Answer:

The teenage years can be complicated for kids with Asperger’s.  High school can be a challenge. Juggling social relationships and the increased academic workload can be overwhelming. The teen with Asperger’s Syndrome must have the proper type of support at home and at school in order to be successful.  Resources are available to help families and school personnel develop a plan for the student with Asperger’s. “Success Strategies for Students with Asperger Syndrome & Autism,” by The Geneva Centre for Autism, is an example of one such resource.  This book gives examples of some common success strategies for students with Asperger’s.

You should work with your son’s school to develop a special plan for his Asperger’s.  High school special education programs are available for students who need extra assistance.  This educational plan, called an IEP (individual education plan) is developed by a team that consists of you, your son’s teachers, and any special education staff who know and work with him.  This IEP consists of educational goals, functional behavioral objectives, and special considerations and allowances.  Here are a few ideas on some special considerations you might find on a high school student’s IEP. These are in addition to the goals that are specific, time-limited statements that are determined by the student’s weaknesses.

• Time extension for all assignments

• Abbreviated assignments

• Oral testing with extra time allotment

• Modified grading (for example, chance to correct mistakes for additional grade)

• Anxiety management in the classroom

Once the IEP is developed and in place, you should offer additional help to your child with Asperger’s.  High school can be a positive experience with a little planning.  Here are a few things you can do at home that will enhance your son’s high school years.

* Be involved in his social life

* Arrange social activities to build his social skills.  Clubs geared towards his special interests are a great way to find people with similar interests.  This is great social skills practice.
 
* Pay attention to school happenings.  Bullying is a major problem for kids with Asperger’s.  Bullying can lead to anxiety, avoidance, isolation, and depression.

* Teach your son about daily living skills and organizational skills

* Personal hygiene often lacks importance in people with Asperger’s.  Help him stay on a regular bathing and dental hygiene schedule.

* Make sure he understands the importance of household chores.

* Help him work on time management and organization with written lists and daily schedules.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

PARENTING ASPERGERS NEWSLETTER VOLUME October 2011

Welcome to the October 2011 edition of “The Parenting Aspergers Newsletter”.

Inside this edition, you will find:

1. Hot Topic of Discussion – School

2. In the News – Schooling Options for Children with ASD

3. Prominent People Linked with ASD – Educator Daniel Tammet

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1. Hot Topic of Discussion – School. The children have now been back to school for a month or two in many areas, which means families affected by Autism and Asperger’s are coping with new teachers, transitions, and a multitude of stressors that come with a new school year. Below you will find links to articles that can help you with the school year:

http://www.autismkey.com/back-to-school-preparation-for-children-with-autism/

http://blog.autismspeaks.org/2011/08/08/back-to-school-the-conversation-continues/

 http://www.pathfindersforautism.org/articleItem.aspx?id=55

*People mentioned as having Asperger’s Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with an ASD.

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2. In the News – Choosing Schooling Options for Children with Autism Education is your child’s key to success. It opens doors that remain tightly closed without the knowledge gained through learning. It is important for all parents, but especially parents of children with Autism, to find the best possible schooling option for their children. Children with Autism can be successful in public school. However, special educational methods and allowances will be needed. Sometimes a school devoted to Autism may be a better fit. Other times, a parent may opt to homeschool. Here are several links that discuss schooling options for children with Autism:

http://autism.about.com/od/schoolandsummer/a/edoptionshub_4.htm

http://isybeeautism.com/autism-schools/autism-schools-special-schools/

http://www.autismkey.com/homeschooling-options-for-children-with-autism/

The following links are websites or stories about specialty schools devoted to Autism:

http://www.todaysthv.com/news/story.aspx?storyid=167366

http://www.summitviewschool.org/

http://www.questkids.org/qka_overview.htm

http://www.mayinstitute.org/services/autism/day_schools.html

http://www.aptschool.org/aboutus.htm

(These few schools are just a representative set of the many schools devoted to Autism.)

*People mentioned as having Asperger’s Syndrome may or may not have actually have been diagnosed with an ASD.

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3. Prominent People Linked with ASD- British Author/Educator/Savant Daniel Tammet Daniel Tammet was officially diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at the age of 25. A well-known savant, he is the author of the 2006 best seller, “Born on a Blue Day”, his memoir. Learn more about Daniel Tammet and his savant abilities by clicking the links below.

http://www.optimnem.co.uk/about.php

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Tammet

*The person mentioned above may or may not have Asperger’s Syndrome.

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I hope this month’s newsletter has intrigued you and provided new and useful information. The next edition of the newsletter is due in November 2011. And as always … please send in any inspirational stories, any questions that you would like our team of experts to answer, any topics that you wish to be discussed, and news stories that you want to share VIA THE BLOG. We will publish as many as we can.

Until next month…

Best Wishes Dave Angel

Here’s a great new article courtesy of Matthew Readman:

Well the summer is over and it’s time to get back to reality.    I love the summer because it’s my time.  I don’t have to follow all the social rules that are demand of me.   Well it’s the night before school and of course I can’t sleep.  Everything is rushing through my head.   It’s funny for an asberger kid it’s not the excitement of meeting new kids or teachers.  It’s actually the opposite.   You get this horrible feeling in your stomach almost like you’re going to be sick.  You don’t want to meet the new kids because you think automatically that they’re not going to like you.  You worry about the bullies you had last year and the new ones you’re going to face.   You’re stuck back in a classroom where you keep trying to get heard but instead just ignored.    I must say it doesn’t matter how much your parents talk with you and the usual talk is “it’s a new start” you always remember the bad of the last year.

Well its now the first day of school.  I’m up early and very tired.  Did I sleep? NOPE!   I’m dressed and my lunch was made.  My heart is beating a mile per minute. Am I having an anxiety attack? YES!  My mom walks me to the bus stop as she does every first day of school.  She bugs me like usual “Try to be nice, talk to other kids, and listen to your teacher and so on.”  I know she’s just doing the mother thing but I’m going into grade 8 and I’ve heard this a thousand times before.   The bus arrives and my mother leaves.  I get on the bus and my eyes goes directly to the bully that every year harass me on the bus.  I take a deep breath and find a seat as far away from him as possible.   I sit by the window so I don’t have to have eye contact with anyone.    I put on my head phones to drown out people talking.

When I got to school all I dreamt of was going home. I have a new teacher THANK GOD! I hated my old one.  My first impression, she was nice but who knows how she will turn out. Sadly all teachers begin this way. I grab a seat with the girls I knew from last year.   I looked around and prayed it would be a good year. The day went well. The best part of my day was when I ran into to my principal who told me how happy he was to see me and then said “don’t worry I got your back this year”.

The first few weeks of school had the usual ups and downs. The teacher so far is still nice. So far so good. Actually an amazing thing has happened to me! I applied for the leadership council at my school. 120 kids applied and only 20 students were chosen and I was one of them. The leadership council is responsible for all social events and communication throughout the school.  Do they see something in me I don’t see? I really hope I can keep to their standards and to prove, not to them, but myself that I can do this job as well as someone without social problems.  As a grade 8 teen with asbergers I’m doing my best to learn and be accepted.

Thanks for another great article Matt!

P.S. Don’t forget that Matt is writing a book this year. And if there are topics you want him to cover in he book (i.e. from his perspective of a young person with Aspergers) please leave you comment at the end of this blog post.

Question:

I think my husband has Aspergers can you give me some advice please?

Answer:

Many adults are diagnosed later in life with Asperger‘s.  Husbands are often diagnosed after learning about Asperger’s through their child’s diagnosis.  This adult diagnosis may explain many issues within a couple’s marriage.  Relationships are work for everyone.  Relationships that are complicated by Asperger’s Syndrome can be extremely difficult.  There is hope for your marriage.

The first step is obtaining the diagnosis of Asperger’s.  A husband with suspected Asperger’s syndrome may be unwilling to accept the possibility, making life that much more difficult for the family.  Most of the time, however, learning the characteristics of Asperger’s are an eye-opening experience that explains the person’s struggles throughout life.  This diagnosis can help your husband, and your marriage, get back on the right foot.

In the meantime, there are books available to assist the wife of an Asperger’s husband.  For example, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge? Practical Steps to Saving You and Your Relationship.” by Kathy Marshack Ph.D.; Foreword by Stephen Shore Ed.D, will help you learn how to take control of your relationship and find new ways to look at the challenges of living with Asperger’s Syndrome.

While you are waiting to learn if you have an Asperger’s husband, there are things you can do to make life a bit more positive.

• Conquer loneliness if at all possible.  Spouses often complain of being left alone either emotionally or literally.  Find your own interests or hobbies to focus on when you are feeling lonely.  This is not meant as avoidance.  It is important that you continue to enjoy shared interests and time together whenever your husband permits.

• Acceptance of your circumstances can be quite freeing.  Accept the things you cannot change and work to make the rest more manageable.

• Educate yourself about Asperger’s.  Learn all you can about the condition, its symptoms, and the treatments.  Education is power.

• Focus on your husband’s strengths.  This will make you feel better and it will give your husband some much-needed confidence.

• Find help for your husband’s challenges.  Medications and therapy could make a difference in your quality of life as a couple, as well as his personal well being.

• Join a local Autism support group.  There are often sub groups for adults and spouses.  These groups are filled with people who have been in your position.  They can help you navigate the condition.

• Counseling can be beneficial for your husband and for you.  Counseling can give you both an outlet for the frustrations within your relationship.  Individual counseling, as well as couples counseling are highly recommended for newly diagnosed adults and their spouses.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

Question

Can you advise me on job training and employment prospects for adults with Aspergers?

Answer

Finding and keeping a job can be very tricky for adults with Asperger’s.  Employment is necessary for independent living, but can be hard to come by.  Many of the characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome can affect job opportunities and long-term employment.  However, some characteristics of Asperger’s can definitely be considered strengths for certain careers.  Here are a few of these strengths and weaknesses.

Job Related Strengths of Asperger’s

• Excellent rote memory

• Concentrated focus-strong research and idea development skills

• Strong logical thinking skills-able to see beyond the basic idea and plan for future development

• Very honest by nature

• Strong attention to minute details-catches errors in product designs and written work

• Deep desire to follow the rules-works better when rules are obvious; desires to do the right thing in all situations

Job Related Weaknesses of Asperger’s

• Weak social skills-knowing and understanding the ways of a work environment; communicating with bosses, co-workers, and customers; understanding social cues, gestures, sarcasm, humor, and slang in conversations; may have speech issues like cluttered speech, that hamper communication .

• Lack of interest in self-care (poor personal hygiene)

• Poor organizational skills-messy work area and inability to complete tasks in a timely manner.

• Problems with change and transition-prefers set schedules and routines; needs advanced preparation for changes in job related tasks; unable to jump in and help due to transition issues.

• Sensory issues-may need sensory input to remain calm; may be hypersensitive to the noise, activities, and smells of an office environment.

There are options available to the adult with Asperger’s.  Employment searches should be based on a few basic requirements.   First, career choices should focus on the person’s special interests.  These obsessive interests are a characteristic of Asperger’s.  Choosing a career based on the special interest practically guarantees success due to the person’s knowledge and desire.   Next, take social skills into consideration.  If people skills and tolerance are weak, you should choose a job that is more solitary, or that does not include the general public.

Finally, it is important that you know your personal strengths and weaknesses due to Asperger’s.  Employment that is built around your strengths will likely be an enjoyable and successful experience.  There are resources available to help with your search. Many local colleges offer career counseling.  Many cities have government agencies that assist disabled citizens with career counseling, job placement, and structured independent living.  Contact your local disabilities services center or Autism support group for guidance.  In the meantime, books like “Asperger Syndrome Employment Workbook,” by Tony Attwood and Roger N. Meyer, a self-paced workbook for adults with Asperger’s Syndrome, will show you how Asperger’s has affected past employment opportunities so you can improve the future outcome.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Angel

Question

Can you tell me more about Aspergers in girls and how they present and differ from boys?

Answer

Asperger’s in girls is a significantly different from that in boys.  For a long time, girls were not as likely to receive the diagnosis of Autism or Asperger‘s Syndrome.  Far more boys still receive the Autism diagnosis, leaving girls without as much support at school, and without as much help to cope with life.  Here are a few of the distinct differences of symptoms and characteristics between boys and girls with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Asperger’s in Boys

• Single obsessive interests are more often observed in boys.  

• Aggressive behavior and meltdowns due to frustration are very common in boys.

• Boys tease other boys with weaknesses rather than show support.

• Boys with Asperger’s are less likely to show emotion.

• Boys show less desire for friendships.  The desire may be there under the surface, but it usually matches closely with ability.

• Boys are more likely to have major sensory and motor skills deficiencies.

• Overall, boys are more severely affected by Asperger’s than girls are.

Asperger’s in Girls

• Girls tend to have a wider variety of obsessive interests.

• Girls are more passive and less likely to show aggressive behaviors and meltdowns.

• Girls are more likely to support other girls despite their obvious weaknesses.

• Girls are more likely to imitate others’ emotions and social skills than boys are.

• Girls show more desire for friendships and social interactions.

• Girls are usually less affected by gross motor skills & sensory systems deficiencies.

• Overall, girls usually have milder symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome.

Of course, not all cases of Asperger’s in girls will follow these guidelines.  Children with Asperger’s are individuals with their own specific strengths and weaknesses.  There are girls with Asperger’s who are severely socially unable, who have tremendous sensory integration problems and very weak gross motor skills.  However, the majority of girls with Asperger’s do present on the milder side of the spectrum.  

Thanks,

Dave Angel