Parenting Tips Wanted...

Parenting Tips Wanted…

Filed under:Parents Issues — posted by admin on May 25, 2008 @ 5:45 am

Hi – If you have a parenting tip for a child with ASD that you would like to share with other parents please do so by adding a comment below…

Thanks

Dave

comments (34)

34 comments »

My son has been diagnosed within the autism spectrum disorder, he is 10 and loves being on the computer but finds it hard to just sit on a chair and sit still. He will twirl the chair on one leg, rock back and forth and whatever else he can find to do with it. We have gone through a couple chairs.
I came up with the solution to two problems. My son is also on medication that has made him gain some weight which he is struggling with. I was looking to buy an exercise ball for myself at my computer, because I had read that by doing that you will strengthen your inner core muscles. So I thought it would be great for me, but then before I even got to use it I thought what a great idea for a chair for my son. And it has worked out wonderful. He can roll back and forth in the living room, the can move all the time and not break anything and he is also getting some great exercise and has lost a couple pounds just having the ball for a month. I don’t know why I never thought of this before but I sure wish I would have. So anyway that’s what’s worked for me to kind of get rid of some of that excess energy that my son has.

Comment by Lorrie — May 25, 2008 @ 4:40 pm
Would like to also recommend the book The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. Works on Explosive behaviour alongside ASDs. Very interesting and informative and along with your posts David my house is a bit calmer. thank you

Comment by wendy — May 25, 2008 @ 5:43 pm
Hi, today i went to the Police station to add us (my asd son and me(family/carer)) to their computer system.
I highly reckomend EVERYone to do this. it only takes 30min and for a life of peace!
specially useful for those times when melt-downs and aggression happens in home or public and police get involved…or if you have a “runner” a asd kid who wanders off or runns away a lot.
it makes it so the police have a you and your asd kid in their files to look up a nd be prepared as to what to expect when they encounter your asd kid and importantly what they should NOT do ! medications and allergies and close friend for emergency contact.
its simple and if youre hurt or your child is lost they know what to do to best help.
please i urge all to do this.

Comment by therese dornonville — May 26, 2008 @ 7:41 am
I haven’t tried Mozart, but I know in our house if the TV is on in the lounge and the radio in the kitchen, and 3 kids all yelling about then … (1) Mum (AS) gets very short tempered, and (2) Son (AS) explodes. Once the TV is off and the radio is off the house is INSTANTLY calm. Poor Dad (NT) can’t understand the connection, but can see the result.

Comment by Carolin — May 26, 2008 @ 9:32 pm
I just read your current newsletter and although my son has HF Autism it is still interesting and sometimes relevant for us. The story about the child who is calmed by classical music could be our story. I noticed that the classical music calmed my son in the car when he was younger and we had to travel a long distance to see his neurologist or if I needed to make a quick trip into the store I would take my mother along to stay with him. She would always report that he was “as quiet as a mouse” as soon as she put on the classical radio station. Now he is age 11 and he loves music with a strong beat but he won’t often object when I change the radio to a classical station. It is almost as if subconsciously he knows it helps him to calm down and relax.
Thanks, Mary

Comment by Mary Chouinard — May 27, 2008 @ 7:03 am
I am a teacher who has worked with children with autism for many years. Music almost always has a positive effect, to the point where I sing instructions to students because they listen more carefully and do what I instruct when I sing. Classical music most definitely has a calming, soothing effect.

Comment by Tracy Austin — May 27, 2008 @ 11:28 am
One day my son kept asking me for the song that went dah dah dah…I’m looking at him so confused and finally I figured out it was, the VW commercial he had seen on TV so many times. So I went online and found the actual music for him. I’ve discovered that music with heavy bass(boom boom boom) and rhthmic (repetative) beats soothes him completely. There is this one song called Spirit in the Sky and he will sit and listen to it over and over if he is stressed and it will make him actually fall asleep. I also use to sing to him a in monotone type voice This Old Man…it was sometimes the only thing that would allow him to go to sleep. As a parent that’s been doing it for 9 years I’m certainly learning that you always have to keep on trying to find out what it is that will work with your child. Diligence and patience is a must.LOL Another thing I just thought of, when my son is feeling overwhelmed by like shopping or something a rythmic pounding with the balls of my fists on the top of his head will also calm him. He wants me to do it fairly hard and I do it a lil’ harder until he tells me I’ve got it. Has anyone experienced this sort of sensory calming with their child?

Comment by Micki — May 27, 2008 @ 3:18 pm
Regarding music and ASD To the person who said classical music helped her calm the child on the way to the grocery store on Fridays; you are right for the understanding of classical music calming your child in the car but I think that he is also aware that he will be going to the grocery store which since the ASD is usually overloade by sensor. Perhaps a classical music or new age listening device while there will also help.y input, the sights,sounds,smells,people,etc. are diffucult on his senses to begin with

Comment by S. Tzorfas — May 29, 2008 @ 11:27 am
I have a 15 year old with Aspergers that has recently been diagnosed. When he has a meltdown and does inappropriate behaviours (spitting at someone etc.) should I be punishing him with consequences or is this something I must learn to try to avoid the issue that resulted in the meltdown. Help!

Comment by Margot O'Donnell — June 9, 2008 @ 5:41 pm
My 6yr old son was diagnosed by a psychologist with ADHD. He has shown signs of Aspergers for a few years, that the psychologist noticed. The center where I take my son had him meet with a psychiatrist that suggested medication, ie: Ritalin and Concerta. The psychiatrist thinks he may have ASD, and that both meds are effective in helping with focus in ADHD and ASD. I told him I will check with my sons pediatrician and a clinical pharmacist I know. Does anyone have any experience or information with these medications (or others similar) for the use in children with ASD? I am hesitant in using any medications, especially CII’s, as it may effect his unique personality.

Comment by Jeff — June 19, 2008 @ 7:39 pm
I was reading about the sensory issue comment and how just going in public creates problems for our children.
I’ll tell you how I’ve helped my son be able to take public outings. First I’ll explain his mind as a behaviorist did in order to help me get a picture of how it felt to him to go to the grocery store or a department store. She told me that an average brain will survey it’s surroundings and take in something like 10,000 items a minute but only about 15 of those things are relevant to what we are doing at the time. So the other 9985 things get filed into the unnessary to think about category and the 15 things we are focusing on get put on our “desk”. With Asperger’s all 10,000 items get put on our “desk” all at once so we are over whelmed with the pile and imagine that pile getting bigger and bigger by the moment. WOW I thought, that could be overwhelming, my poor baby. No wonder we get meltdowns in public. So how can I help him get thru the times I HAVE to go to the store with him in tow. First I tell him where it is we have to go, then I tell him what it is I am buying at each store (I try not to stray from my list) and approxiamately how long it will take at each location. Now that he can read I get him to help me with the shopping list to (wink wink) make sure mommy doesn’t forget anything. This has helped me tremendously in any excursion. I still get the meltdowns if I have to go someplace I didn’t mention but not as bad as it use to be. I also took lots of stuff out of his room and in my house making it sparse in decorations to help minimize the overload. In doing that my son is more calm on a regular basis which helps him handle any unexpected things that might pop up. Also the calming music to him is played on the way to town and calming to him maybe classical or heavy rhythmic music like I mentioned before but I use to just automatically put it on when we got into the car and that started to cause me problems to. He tells me music or no music now and ta daaaa he gets to set his own mood. Works great. My other two kids that are younger just roll with the punches now and I feel like I have conquered yet another hurdle…lol Hope this helps someone out…

Comment by Micki — June 20, 2008 @ 2:27 pm
This past school my grandson who is 10 was invited to take part in some swimming classes held at the local high school in conjunction with a local swim club. The classes were geared especially for autistic and aspy kids and were
held two days a week for about an hour. They had to board a school bus to get there from their own school and each child had there own instructor. The classes were a huge success and it helped the kids try new things and interact with others. Some kids who barely spoke were even talking about how much fun it was. Perhaps someone can get this lined up in their own school system. This was thru the Sioux City Community School System in Sioux City Iowa. I’m sure they would get info to you about how it was set up. Private donations were used to help defray the expenses and donors were more than willing to help out. The kids just loved it and so did the parents!

Comment by Reba Browning — July 1, 2008 @ 4:44 pm
In reference to homework – my son has been diagnosed with Aspergers this year and is in kindergarten. Homework was a real nightmare in the afternoons, so we now set aside some time after a healthy breakfast. I also copy the homework assignment so that my younger son can join in as well and make it a family time. It seems to work because my son is fresher in the morning. I might try adding some classical music as well to see how it goes!
Karen – Sydney, Australia.

Comment by Karen Tamsitt — August 25, 2008 @ 5:38 pm
I have an 8 year old grandson diagnosed with “mild” aspergers syndrome. He fits many of the symptoms expect he talks non-stop. I haven’t been able to find any information on this type of behavior with aspies. Mostly they seem shy and withdrawn. My grandson talks just to talk. He interrupts other conversations so he can be heard, repeats his thoughts and questions even after he has received answers. I was wondering if there is anyone who can help us with this type of behavior. He knows he talks alot because he keeps asking us if he does. We answer yes, but still continues to do so. We could really use some help. Thanks. Jan

Comment by Janice Jacobs — October 1, 2008 @ 9:44 am
9yr old son recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Lead up to this was the most stressful time ever expereinced in last 5 years. Son was referred to music therapy for a couple of months, which he loved; as a result he nows gets piano lessons at home which he loves; We visited a herbal clinic and he gets herbal medication and is a much calmer person, almost unbelievable. He talks alot too in a tone that can be quite challenging, but overall the difference is amazing. I think all kids should be given music therapy, let them find an instrument that they like and encourage them to play.

Comment by Janine57 — October 19, 2008 @ 5:48 am
9yr old son diagnosed with Aspergers; the lead up to this was extremely stressful; took him to a herbal clinic as not inclined to want to medicate him; he gets herbal meds. which have calmed him down a great deal; also got him referred to music therapist which he loved, so much so he now gets piano lessons at home and he loves it and is doing really well; he is much calmer and more confident; still have off days but overall the difference is amazing; I think all kids should be given the opportunity of music therapy and find something that calms them;

Comment by Janine57 — October 19, 2008 @ 5:50 am
For homework troubles, try breaking down the homework in sections. Draw a red line after question 5 and do these after school, draw a line after question 8 and do these after supper, do the rest of the questions after bath and before bed. Use manipulitives to assist with math. Try using a different colored pencil for each question. Will the teacher accept the assignment if the student tells you an answer orally and you write it down? Will they be more willing to do the work if the answers are typed on a computer? Try doing the homework in a different location like the library, the park picnic table, or a coffee shop. Talk to the teacher about your struggles at the next ARD meeting, sometimes they will shorten the length of the assignment for the least amount of work needed to show comprehension. Don’t give up we’ve been there and our son is ready to graduate from high school!

Comment by Cathy — October 19, 2008 @ 6:55 am
As a home schooling parent of three aspies & four NT’s, it continues to surprize me the differences between children in the same family. One thing that helped for us is when I finally figured out each person’s pattern of highs/lows or attention/inattention (I don’t pick up patterns easily, so that was a long time coming!). Two of my kids had behavior improvements right after eating, so I set their problem subject areas for then, since we could more effectively work with them. Several could only concentrate in the morning which became math time for them, while one of my aspies definitely clicks in late afternoon, so that’s when we do her work. I found that we have fewer battles and blow-ups when I simply accomodate their natural rhythms. I wonder what kids locked into a school program do about such differences?

Comment by Wendy Kennedy — October 19, 2008 @ 7:03 am
From my observations, it is very common for Aspies to talk alot, although they may go off on tangents of interest to now one but themselves. I have a 17 year old with Mild Aspergers. ADD medication does not help and makes him feel worse. His diagnosis went from ADHD to NLD/ Aspergers in 8th grade. We have struggled through this. As a mother, I give him supplemental programs to improve his weakness while I encourage him to pursue his strengths. I use the summer time to enroll him in non-academic classes. He has done PACE, biofeedback and lots of athletic sports and weight training to increase coordination and back strength. These kids clearly have poor nerve innervation in their back muscles that attributes to poor posture- it is not due to low self- esteem. I am looking for another social skills class for the summer of 2009 for teenagers. Finally, I also have come to realize that while these kids my be loners because of lack of social skills, but — they are also loners by choice. They want and need more private time than the average NT kid.
I am coming to accept my son’s ways as what works for him and I have stopped forcing NT ways on him. His nervous system is different and that will never change. What is normal for me is not normal for him. My advice is to support, love and finally truly accept your child as god gave him to you. Trying to force a square peg in a round hole will destroy your child. Let him know he is loved and keep a strong family unit.

Comment by Emily Nicole — October 19, 2008 @ 8:36 am
I’m responding to number 14 “Jan”. Your son seems to love to hear his own voice a alot:) We made a simple star chart. Every time our son did something positive and helpful – i.e. yours could say…..Waited for grown ups to finish talking * or Said …Excuse me and waited nicely for parent to ask what they wanted *
Then after they had so many stars – they earned a reward. Remembering not to make it too hard to earn.
Another device we used was just using the symbol of a “stop sign” to imply ….wait your turn.
Lastly – if our son repeated questions obnoxiouly we finally wrote down the answer and helped him read it and then throw it away. So we are “all done” with that now. Hope those suggestions help.

Comment by Joanne Pahl — October 19, 2008 @ 4:58 pm
When my son was very young, we communicated through singing. Now, at 12, when he comes home from school, to destress the day he goes to his room and listens to his favorite music. It really helps! J.

Comment by J. Valleriani — October 19, 2008 @ 7:38 pm
Our eight year old son has Asperger’s and OCD. He was very speak and motor delayed and a major behavior problem for everyone but me. We’ve since learned that I, his mother, also have Asperger’s so I understand that not pushing him too hard and letting him have too much noise, people talking at him, just stimulus in general, is crucial to keep those troubling Asperger’s symtoms to a minimum. I have forced him to face his fears and aversions but in a quiet, methodical, gradual way and it’s worked well. When we watch a show or observe a situation, I ask him, “Are they being good friends?” “Why was he mad?” “Do you know why she is crying?” etc. It helps to build that kind of observation into every day. Keeping their environment calm, simple (not a lot of stimulus going at once,) and gentle but firm reminders of what is acceptable and what is not, has been key. Our pediatricians told me when he was four not to even THINK about putting him in a normal school environment because of his reactions to upsetting things – well, after 18 months of intensive speech and motor therapy, firm but gentle parameters consistently enforced, he’s never had a bad report from school about behavior and he’s now in second grade – and about 18 months ahead of his classmates in all subjects. Don’t lose heart with the diagnosis. Your child needs to be able to function in society as an adult without you, if at all possible, so remember that teaching what is acceptable and helpful and safe will be invaluable later. Being firm is alright if it’s done gently.

Comment by Rebecca Bayless — October 19, 2008 @ 9:50 pm
To the parent asking about homework for their kindergarten child, my suggestion is tell the teacher to go and jump. Why can’t little children be just that – children. All too soon they will have to do homework – why start so young

Comment by jenny — October 20, 2008 @ 1:13 am
Hi, As both a parent of an ASD nearly cured child and a specialized tutor for ADHD, Dyslexia, PDD LD etc for many years with one on one services I came upon a client who seems to have a a perplexing problem that may provide a solution. Excitedly I looked the theory up and found not one article,essay or link whatsoever. The 12 yr old displays aggressive behaviors that could relate to aspie and would likely be diagnosed as oppositional defiance disorder. Howeer in his anger and frustrations to explain his many circular contradictions, I figured out that he likely has a Specific Language Disorder in which both receptive lang. as well as expressive language is confused. So I believe that his ODD behaviors are caused by his language impairment, not the other way. When I looked it up I found Dyslexia but that is not quite it either. He reads, writes and can speak seemingly normal at times. If I had him when he was youger, speech therapy would have likely helped but as he enters the teen years that is not likely to be available for his age. Since I have been creating programs that have great results,I would be grateful if you could provide information on how to improve his language understanding (he is overly literal) then I could attempt to reduce his frustration and unusual behaviors. Thanks Dave, from Shelley

Comment by S. Tzorfas — October 20, 2008 @ 10:44 am
I found that creating a chart for my 8 yr. old with aspergers, helps him to stay on task. It may seem fecetious to most but I really believe he responds well to having some sort of written regime. Mornings before school used to be a nightmare, but now he has each task written out with a peticular window/timeframe. He seems to be responding very well with this. No more frustrated mornings, running out the door to catch the bus. He actually even likes to challenge the timeframes on the chart to show that he can beat them. Now we’re out for the bus with time to spare. Hope this advice can help someone else

Comment by Ray — October 20, 2008 @ 8:40 pm
My son aged 9 has both aspergers and adhd.He has at different times been on ritalin and conerta mainly to help with his schooling.We found that concerta was absolutely no use whatsoever,but now he takes ritalin(methyphenidate)he is like a differnt boy!He is doing much better at school and is a happier boy altogether.

Comment by Roslin — November 24, 2008 @ 1:35 pm
I tried putting my son on the list ,with the police,for a child with autism. They said they have never heard of any list like that and all people will be treated the same in any situation.

Comment by Tammy — December 20, 2008 @ 3:48 pm
Tracy Austin i have a few questions i would like to talk over with you. my daughter is having a horrible time with her teacher expecting her to do the work that everyone in class does because she’s intelligent enough too. just curious on your thoughts. thanks shannon (jandstysinger@hotmail.com)you can email me here

Comment by shannon tysinger — January 19, 2009 @ 12:40 am
sorry …..my daughter (amber-11)has aspergers and adhd their are some occupational issues, and is very anxious aswell

Comment by shannon tysinger — January 19, 2009 @ 12:43 am
I have a son age 10 who has been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. I was wondering if anyone has been to see Chiroprator Neurologist and what results if any have you had.

Comment by Heather B. — January 19, 2009 @ 4:49 pm
hiya, i have an 8 year old twin boy, (other twin is fine and pretty average,) who has been diagnosed with adhd for a while and is medicated, also is deaf with some learning difficulties. i am sure he has asd/aspergers and altho those proffesionals caring for him are investigating this but not in any great hurry as they seem to be beliveing that his behaviour is more to do with is minor learning difficulties than asd and i do dissagree, does any one else have this same problem with diagnosis???? and how can i push it forward? He does not sleep, he still wets his bed and has mild fits and absences. i am unsure how to help him and his twin.

thanks jan

Comment by janet marshall — January 20, 2009 @ 6:53 am
My son is a toe walker. I understand from some that this is not unusual for children on the Autism Spectrum. I attended a workshop and one of the Dr.’s commented that there is no therapy or surgery that will help because these children can come down, but just feel better on their toes, and it is hardwired in their brain. Our pediatrician sent us to an orthopedic specialist, and they want to do surgery on his tendons because they are so tight and shrunk that he told us even if he wanted to come down he couldn’t without damaging the tendons. Does anyone out there have any advice?

Comment by N. Earnhardt — January 22, 2009 @ 9:48 pm
My son was diagnoised with Aspergers, ADD and dyspraxia nearly 2 years ago. He is now 9 and a half. His area of fascination is history and he is an extremely bright child. We have never told him that he has Aspergers etc. although he knows he is different from other children. Advice please on what we should do – he will be going to post primary in 1.5 years? Thanks Fiona

Comment by Fiona — January 23, 2009 @ 8:52 am
At some point we just got over the bedwetting with my daughter who has autism. It was just more comfortable for her to wear a pull up at night. She didn’t wake up wet and crying. We are very careful to make sure taking off the pull ups is one of the first things she does in the morning though. She never has the opportunity to think she should wet the pull up when awake.

Comment by Mylinda — July 5, 2009 @ 4:58 pm