Comments on: Parenting Tips Wanted…

By: Tammy

Tammy — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 20:48:08 +0000

I tried putting my son on the list ,with the police,for a child with autism. They said they have never heard of any list like that and all people will be treated the same in any situation.

By: Roslin

Roslin — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 18:35:20 +0000

My son aged 9 has both aspergers and adhd.He has at different times been on ritalin and conerta mainly to help with his schooling.We found that concerta was absolutely no use whatsoever,but now he takes ritalin(methyphenidate)he is like a differnt boy!He is doing much better at school and is a happier boy altogether.

By: Ray

Ray — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 01:40:19 +0000

I found that creating a chart for my 8 yr. old with aspergers, helps him to stay on task. It may seem fecetious to most but I really believe he responds well to having some sort of written regime. Mornings before school used to be a nightmare, but now he has each task written out with a peticular window/timeframe. He seems to be responding very well with this. No more frustrated mornings, running out the door to catch the bus. He actually even likes to challenge the timeframes on the chart to show that he can beat them. Now we’re out for the bus with time to spare. Hope this advice can help someone else

By: S. Tzorfas

S. Tzorfas — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 15:44:43 +0000

Hi, As both a parent of an ASD nearly cured child and a specialized tutor for ADHD, Dyslexia, PDD LD etc for many years with one on one services I came upon a client who seems to have a a perplexing problem that may provide a solution. Excitedly I looked the theory up and found not one article,essay or link whatsoever. The 12 yr old displays aggressive behaviors that could relate to aspie and would likely be diagnosed as oppositional defiance disorder. Howeer in his anger and frustrations to explain his many circular contradictions, I figured out that he likely has a Specific Language Disorder in which both receptive lang. as well as expressive language is confused. So I believe that his ODD behaviors are caused by his language impairment, not the other way. When I looked it up I found Dyslexia but that is not quite it either. He reads, writes and can speak seemingly normal at times. If I had him when he was youger, speech therapy would have likely helped but as he enters the teen years that is not likely to be available for his age. Since I have been creating programs that have great results,I would be grateful if you could provide information on how to improve his language understanding (he is overly literal) then I could attempt to reduce his frustration and unusual behaviors. Thanks Dave, from Shelley

By: jenny

jenny — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 06:13:13 +0000

To the parent asking about homework for their kindergarten child, my suggestion is tell the teacher to go and jump. Why can’t little children be just that - children. All too soon they will have to do homework - why start so young

By: Rebecca Bayless

Rebecca Bayless — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 02:50:23 +0000

Our eight year old son has Asperger’s and OCD. He was very speak and motor delayed and a major behavior problem for everyone but me. We’ve since learned that I, his mother, also have Asperger’s so I understand that not pushing him too hard and letting him have too much noise, people talking at him, just stimulus in general, is crucial to keep those troubling Asperger’s symtoms to a minimum. I have forced him to face his fears and aversions but in a quiet, methodical, gradual way and it’s worked well. When we watch a show or observe a situation, I ask him, “Are they being good friends?” “Why was he mad?” “Do you know why she is crying?” etc. It helps to build that kind of observation into every day. Keeping their environment calm, simple (not a lot of stimulus going at once,) and gentle but firm reminders of what is acceptable and what is not, has been key. Our pediatricians told me when he was four not to even THINK about putting him in a normal school environment because of his reactions to upsetting things - well, after 18 months of intensive speech and motor therapy, firm but gentle parameters consistently enforced, he’s never had a bad report from school about behavior and he’s now in second grade - and about 18 months ahead of his classmates in all subjects. Don’t lose heart with the diagnosis. Your child needs to be able to function in society as an adult without you, if at all possible, so remember that teaching what is acceptable and helpful and safe will be invaluable later. Being firm is alright if it’s done gently.

By: J. Valleriani

J. Valleriani — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 00:38:20 +0000

When my son was very young, we communicated through singing. Now, at 12, when he comes home from school, to destress the day he goes to his room and listens to his favorite music. It really helps! J.

By: Joanne Pahl

Joanne Pahl — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 21:58:06 +0000

I’m responding to number 14 “Jan”. Your son seems to love to hear his own voice a alot:) We made a simple star chart. Every time our son did something positive and helpful - i.e. yours could say…..Waited for grown ups to finish talking * or Said …Excuse me and waited nicely for parent to ask what they wanted *
Then after they had so many stars - they earned a reward. Remembering not to make it too hard to earn.
Another device we used was just using the symbol of a “stop sign” to imply ….wait your turn.
Lastly - if our son repeated questions obnoxiouly we finally wrote down the answer and helped him read it and then throw it away. So we are “all done” with that now. Hope those suggestions help.

By: Emily Nicole

Emily Nicole — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 13:36:14 +0000

From my observations, it is very common for Aspies to talk alot, although they may go off on tangents of interest to now one but themselves. I have a 17 year old with Mild Aspergers. ADD medication does not help and makes him feel worse. His diagnosis went from ADHD to NLD/ Aspergers in 8th grade. We have struggled through this. As a mother, I give him supplemental programs to improve his weakness while I encourage him to pursue his strengths. I use the summer time to enroll him in non-academic classes. He has done PACE, biofeedback and lots of athletic sports and weight training to increase coordination and back strength. These kids clearly have poor nerve innervation in their back muscles that attributes to poor posture- it is not due to low self- esteem. I am looking for another social skills class for the summer of 2009 for teenagers. Finally, I also have come to realize that while these kids my be loners because of lack of social skills, but — they are also loners by choice. They want and need more private time than the average NT kid.
I am coming to accept my son’s ways as what works for him and I have stopped forcing NT ways on him. His nervous system is different and that will never change. What is normal for me is not normal for him. My advice is to support, love and finally truly accept your child as god gave him to you. Trying to force a square peg in a round hole will destroy your child. Let him know he is loved and keep a strong family unit.

By: Wendy Kennedy

Wendy Kennedy — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 12:03:32 +0000

As a home schooling parent of three aspies & four NT’s, it continues to surprize me the differences between children in the same family. One thing that helped for us is when I finally figured out each person’s pattern of highs/lows or attention/inattention (I don’t pick up patterns easily, so that was a long time coming!). Two of my kids had behavior improvements right after eating, so I set their problem subject areas for then, since we could more effectively work with them. Several could only concentrate in the morning which became math time for them, while one of my aspies definitely clicks in late afternoon, so that’s when we do her work. I found that we have fewer battles and blow-ups when I simply accomodate their natural rhythms. I wonder what kids locked into a school program do about such differences?