Sample article from the new Aspergers website

Filed under:New Parenting Aspergers Website Launch — posted by admin on March 3, 2009 @ 3:46 pm

Hi there,

It’s Dave Angel again with the latest on the new website www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com

Here’s a sample article from the new site for your interest …

Question

How can I understand the way my son thinks?

Answer

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome may have underdeveloped areas in the brain that cause problems in: communication, learning appropriate social skills and responses, understanding the thoughts and feelings of others, and focusing on “the real world,” as opposed to becoming absorbed in their own thoughts and obsessions.

Those with Asperger’s are often extremely literal in their interpretation of others’ conversations, for example, they may wonder if cats and dogs are really raining down or think there are two suns when someone talks about two sons. They are unable to recognize differences in speech tone, pitch, and accent that alter the meaning of what others’ say.Your son may not understand a joke or take a sarcastic comment literally.

Learning social skills for children with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) is like learning a foreign language. A child with AS is unable to recognize non-verbal communication that other children learn without formal instruction. Some examples are: not understanding the appropriate distance to stand from another person when talking, how to tell when someone does not want to listen any longer, and how to interpret facial expressions.

Many AS children will be highly aware of right and wrong and will bluntly announce what is wrong. They will recognize others’ shortcomings, but not their own. Consequently, the behavior of those with Asperger’s is likely to be inappropriate through no fault of their own.

Children with AS need routine and predictability to give them a sense of safety. Change can cause stress and too much change can lead to meltdowns (tantrums). Changes that are stressful for them are: a different teacher at school, a new routine, doing things in a different order (e.g.; putting pants on before a shirt), going to the bathroom at someone else’s home, changing a bedroom curtain or the color of the walls, to name a few. Routines and predictability help them remain calm.

Your son’s thinking may be totally focused on only one or two interests, about which he is very knowledgeable. Many children with Asperger’s syndrome are interested in parts of a whole (intricate jigsaw puzzles), designing houses, drawing highly detailed scenes, astronomy, the computer, insects, Pokemon, trains, and many more. Because his brain is obsessed by his interest, your son may talk only about it, even
when others are carrying on a conversation on a different topic.

AS children notice details, rather than the “whole” picture. The importance of the detail prevents the AS child from understanding the bigger picture, so instructions may get lost in his focus on a single detail. A lesson at school may be totally ignored in favor of a fly on the wall. Multiple instructions are extremely difficult for these children to retain and follow.

AS children are not able to access their frontal cortex or prefrontal lobe efficiently, so they must call on social skills from their memories. If a social skill has not been taught, they won’t have it. Consequently, turn taking, imagination, conversation, and other’s points of view cause AS children great difficulty. The AS person may be unable to realize consequences outside his or her way of thinking. In addition, they cannot
recognize when someone is lying to them or trying to take advantage. Some get into trouble with the law as a result.

Anger in AS children often occurs due to over stimulation of the senses or a change in routine. It is often the only response the AS child knows. Anger management presents problems. They see things in black and white, which results in tantrums when they don’t get their own way, feel threatened, or overwhelmed. Some children with Asperger’s bottle up anger and turn it inward and hit or bite themselves, never revealing where the trouble is. Many people with AS are perfectionists reacting with anger when things don’t go as they wish.

One of the most difficult thinking patterns of Asperger’s is mindblindness. Mindblindness is the lack of ability to understand the emotions, feelings, motivations, and logic of others and not care that they don’t understand! Consequently, they behave without regard to the welfare of others. The only way they will ever change their thinking or behavior is if it is in their own interests to do so. Even then, convincing a child with Asperger’s to change his mind is an uphill battle.

I hope you enjoyed this sample article which is one of over 50 brand new articles that are already on the website.

Have a great Day

Dave Angel

comments (24)

24 comments »

This article was like it was written about my son! Wish I could find more answers to the problems…or at the least different ways to deal with the problems or try to see them in his perspective and talk to him in his language. Ways to help him live in this world without killing the beautiful spirit inside him.

Comment by Jill S — March 3, 2009 @ 4:39 pm
Dear Dave: This article describes my daughter completely. She is now 17 and one-half and threatens to leave home when she is 18. She graduated from an alternative high school early and is scheduled to begin a college class at the end of this month. However, she has packed up and “run away” twice this month and I have had to call the sheriff to bring her home. I am at a loss about what to do when she is 18 and I no longer can, legally, make her stay home and go to class. I am 85 years old and I wonder whether I will survive the job of raising her.
Thanks for all your help.
Rob Spaulding

Comment by Robert L. Spaulding — March 3, 2009 @ 4:42 pm
Hi Dave If this is the standard of articles on the new site, well I’m counting the days….whilst counting I wonder if I could pose a question. My 13 year old son is struggling with appropriate behaviour and as a result is struggling at school, although I am working through a book on social skills with him at home,none of the books I have found have a ‘teen spin’ on them. Is there, to your knowledge anything on the market which can help to address what’s cool and appropriate in certain situations, may not necessarily be appropriate and well received in another. In today’s society the neurotypical youth of today (and yesterday, although I’m sure the words have changed since then) use certain language and phrases amongst their peers and would have the ’savvy’ to know not to say some of these things in classrooms in front of teachers or in front of their Grans. This isn’t something that they are taught it is something that they learn themselves, this is the ‘grey’ area that my son finds so hard to get his head round. Any help or ideas gratefully received.

Comment by Kate Smith — March 3, 2009 @ 4:43 pm
Thanks Dave, I’ll print this one out and give it to the teacher.

Comment by Leesa — March 3, 2009 @ 4:48 pm
It is a very good web site, I have great pleasure in reading it and recieving further ones.

Comment by Linda Moore — March 3, 2009 @ 4:57 pm
Hi Terri, Marc told me about your neighbor and I just received this email. I though I could pass it along to you for her and she can subscribe to this guys blog…he is very informative !!!! Keep in touch. Love ya, Dawn

Comment by Terri Dixon — March 3, 2009 @ 5:25 pm
iam so happy 2 shar with u i mak master in qulity of life for asperger syndrom thanx

Comment by yosra — March 3, 2009 @ 5:40 pm
I read this information after another uphill battle with my child’s soccer club. Now, I can show them in black and white and I’m not making this stuff up!!! Because my child is very tall for his age, talks like an adult and is very intelligent (IQ)…they don’t understand, what I like to call a lack of “walking around sense” or common sense that aspie children have. Therefor, everyone is very quick to judge that he should be able to control what he says, why he says things and the way he says them. Now this is an article I can really use in a lot of different venues. Thanks so much!

Comment by Dee McCullar — March 3, 2009 @ 5:45 pm
hidave,great web site im really enjoying it thanks

Comment by phil — March 3, 2009 @ 5:57 pm
Congratulations Dave on the most comprehensive description of Aspergers characteristics in layman’s terms that I have come across!

Comment by Michelle — March 3, 2009 @ 6:05 pm
Hi Kate,
I am afraid the amount of information aimed at older children is sadly lacking. This is because nothing stays the same in teen world. Trends, language, etc. change with alarming regularity. What is ‘cool’ today may be so ‘has been’ tomorrow. I think it best to just accept that they just don’t have the ‘cool’ gene!. Instead focus on being an individual – learn a skill that will get them admired by peers and foster more adult social skills that will remain constant. After all they won’t be teenage forever and many an adult has survived the rigours of childhood rejection without it ruining their lives.
Friendship involves a high level of social development and the expression of emotions like sympathy, concern and care. These are qualities that children with AS have in abundance – it is learning how to use these in everyday relationships that is difficult for them. Modelling, role play and analysis of films and TV programmes can all help to foster the really important social skills.
Good luck,
Kay Al-Ghani

Comment by Kay — March 3, 2009 @ 6:11 pm
WOW! Great article! Thanks!

Comment by Christine Carley — March 4, 2009 @ 12:25 am
Thank you – sometimes I think I am just going nuts and need to be reminded of what my son faces everyday! Mindblindness isn’t just for aspies!

Comment by Joanne Millan — March 4, 2009 @ 1:19 am
Thanks for all the positive messages guys – and I am glad the article was of benefit. I hope to get another sample article put out in the next few days too.
Cheers
Dave

Comment by admin — March 4, 2009 @ 4:09 am
Great article, excellent clarification of Aspergers/High Functioning Autism. I think this article could go a long way in helping teachers/parents/friends and collegues in relating with empathy to our very special children.
Thank you

Comment by Ms J L Patterson — March 4, 2009 @ 7:22 am
dave i feel this is my son to a tee. i love this website . it helps me find my son in so many ways. keep up the good work and ill keep reading on.

Comment by lori — March 4, 2009 @ 9:34 am
Thank you for this article very helpful.
This article helped in to explain to my boyfriend the difficulties that my son who has AS 5yrs old and his own son who is now 18yrs old and has PDD are faced with. One would think that after being around a child with these types of challenges for years he would be more aware of their difficulties and what they have to cope with. Unfortunately children in general do not come with instruction manuals and when they have to face these challenges such as in AS it is mind buggling and difficult for us parents to explain to our surroundings (other parents, family, friend, teachers ect.).
Such article help us find words and make it easier for our struggle.

Comment by Cassandra Guerrier — March 4, 2009 @ 12:03 pm
This article describes my son perfectly. When i think back to when he first started school and trying to get him to listen to me and the teacher and how he would react when he got overwhelmed is excatly what is written here. And about trying to change his mind is exact too. People think he is just misbehaving in situations but this is the way he is.Your articles are a great help not only to me but to the people in my sons life who don’t understand him. Thanks Dave.

Comment by cheryl — March 4, 2009 @ 2:52 pm
Good article. My son’s as is great exp when it comes to being truthful. He will always say it as he has seen it. A the moment in his life, he doesn’t even think about ‘bending’ a truth!!! His life is so black and white. This article is my son to a tee.

Comment by caroline dawson — March 4, 2009 @ 5:54 pm
What a wonderful article. I am sending it to my son’s teachers. I am also sending it to other teachers on my campus who work with children on the AU Spectrum. Keep up the good work!!!

Comment by Teri Folks — March 5, 2009 @ 12:16 pm
This is very interesting and would defintiely print this so that my daughter’s school has a copy of this article.

My daughter (14) had a total turn around in her behavior from primary school to high school this year. Last year, just in the first weke, I had to go to the schol to here wat Carli has been doing, hitting a boy in her class because he was teasing her.

Now it is already 7 weeks in high school and Carli has been on good behaviour for the 99% of the time.

The only problem I have with her at the moment, is to deal with the teasing from other children. This is not a new problem but has been someting that she can not cope with since she was small.

Comment by Jolette du Plooy — March 6, 2009 @ 1:31 am
The article was very good and informative. Have been receiving your article for several years. This is the first one I have been able to see the whole sentence. Good Work.

Comment by Myrna Perry — March 7, 2009 @ 1:12 pm
dear dave,my son is 5yrs old having asperger syndrome,your article is very good and very helpful.thankyou very much.

Comment by nazmajuned — March 8, 2009 @ 3:42 am
my son 12 yrs (aspie)is obstinate like a mule. He has normal eyesight but has of late developed an obsession for spectacles. Initially I thought it was one of the fads which would pass away & bought him plain glasses, but the obsession has only increased. He wears it the moment he gets up from bed – i have requested him, scolded him, even took him to a psychologist, but he has not left his specs. When I ask him, he says he feels afraid without specs.Please help me – his eyes are getting sunken like a regular specs wearer, there are dark circles under his eyes. How should I help him get rid of specs?

Comment by jaya — March 10, 2009 @ 6:02 am