Supporting your child to make friends

colette scraace — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:54:31 +0000

I have 2 sons with AS, ADHD and the younger one is also badly dyspraxic. As my 11 year old has got a little oder, I also found cubs/scouts, but had to go to 3 groups to find the right one. I know just how isolating it can feel when your child is the one who is seen to be “different”. I have found through trail and error a fantastic swimming class who teach my sons individually or small groups depending on their need. All I can say is to be creative and sometimes explore odd options as they can be more helpful than standard solutions. Good luck to everyone for our sanity and the children.

Supporting your child to make friends

Madonna Rowe — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 20:22:28 +0000

you have some good information but i live in a small community and i have tryed boy scouts and religuose group but the adults did care to learn how to handle my son and they didnt want him in the little clicks i have even tryed to hire a big brother type of person but that didnt work out either well thank you for listening

Supporting your child to make friends

Lynn — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 00:47:53 +0000

Yes, frustration continues with my 13 year old who becomes fixated with anyone who speaks with her. In the end, she has made superficial friendships and one long term friendship over the phone. It seems that the socially troubled find each other like magnets sticking together. For the parents of younger children, it doesn’t get any easier with age. Middle school children tend to be very nasty and superficial. Lions aren’t so bad – try lizards, snakes, and ferrets. The animal kingdom lives in my house. I am waiting for 40 days and 40 nights of rain so that Noah can start building the Ark. I have involved my teen in animal rescue leagues, farm volunteering, and support groups where the children are like her. I have a big family locally and my daughter engages with them as well. We remind her of appropriate and inappropriate phrasing, body cues, and sarcasm. Although some shocking moments continue to occur in the wrong place with the wrong people. Best I can offer, love them anyway. She has taught me more than I would ever have learned had she not been sent to me as a gift.

Supporting your child to make friends

adele in south africa — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 22:07:34 +0000

would like to make contact via e mail with karen from south africa as i have a son with asperger’s and we may be able to share experiences
regards adele in south africa

Supporting your child to make friends

Wendy — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 14:00:04 +0000

The frustration is that our Aspberger kids don’t learn from observing. It takes specific structured, sequential training to get them to use proper conversation skills, and thos eskills don’t generalize to new situations. It’s a constant starting-from-scratch in each new situation and new relationship!

Supporting your child to make friends

cathy whittington — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 10:26:32 +0000

I understand comepletely. It is more difficult when they turn into teens and you can not exactly set up “child play dates” like you could years before. Time to think “outside the box.” Taking her outside the home into as many social settings as possible will help with social skills. Try going to the museum ( I know it may be a drive), library ( they have special speakers sometimes) or community theater and church. Find her special interest and go there. While there try to engage in conversation with the speaker, tour guide, actors. At first you may be the one doing all the talking. As she watches you thinking of interesting questions to ask these people about their jobs and where they work, she is getting practice conversing with others in the community. I know this means that you have to be uncomfortable speaking with these folks too when it would be easier to just go to the car afterwards but make an effort to at least stop by and shake their hand. A friend doesn’t always have to be the same age. She may find a trustworthy adult to visit with that can be a friend/mentor. When we are in the workplace many of our co-workers are not our same age and we have no problem becoming friends with them so be it for her also. Good luck and get going!
CW

Supporting your child to make friends

D'etta Matthews — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 23:45:43 +0000

My 14 year old son use to walk around alone playing with his imaginary friends rather play with other students and now he was manager of the basket ball team and now he’s in the schools play of High School musical and is interested in learning more on Aspergers syndrome to better understand who he is and what hes all about.He’s come far and reaches for the stars.

Supporting your child to make friends

jennife rkirkland — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 22:40:31 +0000

happy you are there nobady seems to know alot about the ups and the downs of our child, he is 6 and never been invited to a play date nor a party, but the school tells us there is no problem????Having a tough time having family doctor to write note that child has asperger’s has all characteristics and is severe adhd but only requires 10mg of ritalin to contain the child for the four hours and takes another at luch, but his wieght is 80 lbs and the drs say he should be on 40 mg twice daily does this tell us that it is more than the adhd but asperger’s duh!? Please email our family dont think worse of me than I already feel. Thanks for the ears.

Supporting your child to make friends

LeAnn Wood — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 21:21:05 +0000

I would agree with the above comment. Scouts has been the best thing for our AS Son. He joined Cub Scouts at age 8 and is now 15 and is an Eagle Scout. It is an independent activty that lets these children thrive in their own way, but by belonging to a Den or a Troop they learn positive social interactions and how to be a team player! Find a Scouting Unit with supportive leaders. Our Son’s Scoutmaster took it upon himself to read everything he could about Autism Spectrum Disorders. When I would get frustrated about something my son wasn’t doing, this Scoutmaster would pull me aside and say, “You know, I read this the other day about Aspergers . . .” He was a great example to me. When my son made Eagle Scout, he presented this man with a Mentor Pin and I can’t think of anyone more deserving.

Supporting your child to make friends

N. Webster — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 20:13:13 +0000

What do you do when your 9 y.o. daughter with Asperger’s is obsessed with LIONS? Ours knows everything about them and collects anything with a lion on it. But there aren’t many other young girls who are into THAT, esp. in the middle of the U.S.!