Teenager with Aspergers Turns the Tables

Filed under:Other — posted by admin on November 2, 2009 @ 8:12 pm

Hi there and here’s this week’s Aspergers article – and I’m having the night off from writing; thanks to a talented teenager with Aspergers!

I have posted a great little interview that Matthew Readman carried out on his own parents about Aspergers.

For those of you who don’t know Matthew – he is an exceptional teenager with Aspergers from Canada.

He has written several articles for the blog and is a regular contributor to http://www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com

Here’s Matthew’s interview which makes fascinating reading …

The Interview

After reading questions and answers to Mr. Angel, I was so sad to hear all the problems parents are having. I know I’m only 10 but I decided to interview my parents what they thought about my aspergers and how they helped me so that I could share with you.

When did you first think I was different?

We noticed when you were about 3 years old, when you decided to stop eating.

What did you do?

Well we went to the pediatrician who told us this was normal, and not to force you to eat, that you would eat when you decided to. Well that was a mistake still to this day you won’t touch a lot of foods.

What did you think when the psychologist told you I had aspergers?

We were torn. We were happy in away that we finally found out why you were acting differently, but sad thinking how can we help you

I don’t understand?

Every parent’s first impulse is thinking what did I do wrong. When we found out it was aspergers, and it was not our fault, this made us feel a little better. But now knowing that you have Aspergers Syndrome it made us feel helpless thinking how can we help you. Matthew, every parent wants to help his or her child live a happy life.

Is there anything you think helped me get this far?

Yes. I made sure ever since you started school I asked you four simple questions. Tell me something good, something bad, something happy something sad. This made you talk about your day and we could elaborate on a specific topic, which was most important to you. Now everyday we talk about all different topics.

Yes we still do it today, but I call it debriefing now.

How did you get me to try new things?

The one that best works for you is reward and consequence. Do you remember when you would not ride your bike for the whole summer?

Yes

Well it was not until I purchased a computer game and told you, that you could not play it until you rode your bike. You learned to ride a bike in 2 hours.

Is there anything else you think that helps me?

Matthew its all trial and error. There have been times a strategy may work but the next day fails completely. We find its one step forward and 2 steps back. I get told a lot of the time that I’m a pessimist.

What does that mean?

It means I look for the worst things in life. I do this to try to look ahead on what problems could arise for you. Everything I try to teach you now is not to learn for today but 2 years from now. I have always tried to teach you some problem solving of situations that may arise as you get older. Hopefully with constant repetition when this time comes, it would have sunk in and you would be ready.

Are you tired of having a son with aspergers?

If you mean tired as exhausted, there are times, but I get the same exhaustion from telling your brother to pick up his clothes. Matt I’m a mom. I’m tired all the time. It goes with the territory. If you mean am I tired of you… NEVER. I wanted two boys and I was blessed with two wonderful boys, so to that answer no!!!! You are a wonderful son with so many gifts to offer and I love you and will always love you.

I hope that this may help parents. As my mom and dad said, “ it all trial and error” and if these worked for me maybe they may be able to help your kids with aspergers.

Please feel free to add any comments to this blog post as I know that Matthew enjoys the feedback he gets.

Thanks for the great article Matthew.

Dave Angel

PS – You can read more of Matthew’s insightful and helpful articles by becoming a member of http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com

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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

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How should I help my son with Aspergers who I suspect is being bullied at school, but school officials are not saying too much about it?

As a child with Asperger’s Syndrome, your son is very susceptible to bullying by others. Being just a little different can be devastating in the school setting. Your son is an intelligent person, but those struggles with sensory issues and social skills make him stand out. The other kids do not understand what this means, so they take advantage. Fortunately, most school systems have strong anti-bullying policies. Unfortunately …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/357.cfm

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Daydreaming and Autism

Empty daydreaming sounds a little redundant, but a few years ago, researchers digging for an answer to the rapidly increasing Autism diagnoses said just that. This study was performed by researchers at the Center for Autism Research at the Children’s Hospital Research Center in La Jolla, California. You can read the details in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Included in the study were fifteen people with a diagnosis on the Autism spectrum and fourteen neurotypical individuals. Utilizing functional MRI scans, researchers were able to examine the brain activity of all twenty-nine participants while in a resting state. The results showed that areas of the brain that are usually active during daydreaming were not active in the group representing Autism. This resting brain activity is necessary for …

To read this article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/358.cfm

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Gluten Free Pop Tarts

How to make delicious gluten-free Pop tarts …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/359.cfm

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comments (27)

27 comments »

thank you Matthew. What a great interview. Keep that inquiring mind and you’ll go far. You are blessed to have such great parents.

Comment by Sandy — November 2, 2009 @ 8:59 pm
Thank you Matthew. A great interview. Thank you for sharing, “Tell me something good, something bad, something happy something sad”. I have a hard time getting my son to talk about his day. I realize now I was doing it all wrong. I will try this strategy. Thanks for the tip!

Comment by Shirleyanne — November 2, 2009 @ 9:31 pm
Matthew – It’s so great to hear you speak through this interview. My son just turned 5 and was just diagnosed with Aspergers. At this point, he doesn’t know there is anything different/unique about himself. His father and I are reading, researching, listening, and taking classes to learn all we can so we can do everything we can for our son to make his life easy and great. It’s so neat to hear from a child who is older, who knows he has aspergers, and see things through your eyes!
Thank you!

Comment by Jodi — November 2, 2009 @ 9:56 pm
Hi, Matthew. I really liked reading your interview. I have a Matthew, too, who’s 15. I ask him basically the same things as your mom did with yoou about school ~ Did anything good happen today? Anything bad? Anything fun? Who did you sit with at lunch? Same questions every single day. He hates it! Are you living a happy life? I sure hope so!

Comment by Michele Beth Wilson — November 2, 2009 @ 11:32 pm
My little boy is now 22. He wasn’t diagnosed until he was 19. Like your Mum and Dad, I knew there was something different about him from about 3; it has always been trial and error, and still is. I wish I had thought about “something happy, something sad….” I think I’m going to try it even though he is much older than you. You are an inspiration. Well done Matthew.

Comment by HeyJude! — November 3, 2009 @ 3:50 am
Great interview Matthew! Very helpful. As Shirlyanne said, very good tip that I will try using also. My son hates talking about his feelings and especially about school so that tip is an easy way for me to ask about his day without him feeling I am interogating him!!
Hope to read more of your articles.

Comment by Kath Leese — November 3, 2009 @ 4:13 am
Thanks Matthew, the idea of 4 simple questions is a great idea that i will try.

Comment by Andrea Dryburgh — November 3, 2009 @ 4:40 am
Thank, you, Matthew,
so open and sincere, simple and usefull. Had tears in my eyes reading it. I have 10 years old boy and 9 years old. Sometimes I don’t know how to comunicate with my Asperger boy and get anxies and tired. I get tired trying to teach my other boy to clean his bedroom or to stop him annoy his brother. I try to imagine what is like to see the world through the eyes of my son. He feels different and I want to help him. You are a great boy, thank you.

Comment by Loreta — November 3, 2009 @ 6:20 am
My son Shan is 13, and has just been diagnosed with Asperger’s last Friday. I can so relate to the relief your parents mentioned after getting a diagnosis,but how overwhelming the diagnosis is at the same time. Information like you have just provide, like your mum’s four questions are gems to me right now, thank you for sharing.

Comment by Jacky — November 3, 2009 @ 6:45 am
Thank you so much Matthew, your interview helps us understand what has happened in the pass with my grandson who is seven and I know it will help us with the future. Thank you for sharing.

Comment by Michelle Cennon-Canadian Gramma — November 3, 2009 @ 7:02 am
This is funny…to me, as a parent at least. I used to always ask Ben if something good happened, if something bad happened, every day, too! He would never just “tell” me.

We also did a “cost-benefit” analysis of behavior…negotiations…never just “because I said so!!” I’m still honing my skills. Earning an allowance has been very helpful!

Comment by Rose Walker — November 3, 2009 @ 7:37 am
Great work Matthew. Thank you for sharing. My son is in college now, but when he was young I had no one to turn to . You will help other parents if you continue to write.

Comment by Giovanna — November 3, 2009 @ 8:41 am
Thank you Matthew for writing your experiences. How old were you when your parents told you that you were an asperger’s child?

Comment by Terry Cerreta — November 3, 2009 @ 9:53 am
Thanks Matthew! That was a great interview. I think I may ask my 14 year old son to interview me and see what kinds of questions he comes up with. I know there’s probably a lot he wants to ask, but never has. Putting him “in charge” of the questions may be the answer. I loved your comment on the “debriefing”! That was awesome! I bet a lot of kids your age feel the same way about parent’s questions. Again, thanks for your wonderful words of wisdom!

Comment by Frances — November 3, 2009 @ 12:20 pm
Fantastic interview – thank you Matthew. I have a 10 year old son with Aspergers (and 2 other boys), and your interview was inspirational.

Comment by Helen — November 3, 2009 @ 1:56 pm
Matthew your a awesome kid…I have to son’s both with ADHD and one with Asperger’s and they both are awesome just like you. I wouldn’t change them for the world. They teach me new things all the time. Keep up the great work!!!

Comment by Angela Read — November 3, 2009 @ 3:44 pm
hi matthew your interview was wonderful and it has helped me as a mom, families with autism are in it together we have to help each other. You are amazing and so are your parents , we have a son jack with aspergers and he is wonderful too !!!

Comment by jacki fossett — November 3, 2009 @ 4:36 pm
Thank you Matthew for such a sincere and informative interview. I am raising my 14 y/o grandson with Aspergers. Although we also have issues at times, he is a remarkable young man too.

Comment by Daneen — November 3, 2009 @ 5:42 pm
you remind me of my aspie son very intelligent unique and fasinating well done and thanks for the helpful tips you and your parents have provided- i love the -tell me something x i look 4 ward to reading more of your interesting stories

Comment by stacey birkin — November 4, 2009 @ 12:33 pm
Thanks for the interview. This will help my
daughter with her 7 yr. old son. I would like to
know what to do about the picky eating. Is there
something we can do to help him eat better?

Comment by Kathy Walton — November 5, 2009 @ 2:57 pm
Thank you, Matthew, for such a great interview. I wish I could be as honest as your parents are with you toward my son. You see, he was diagnosed with Asperger when he was 5 – he is 7 year-old now but I haven’t figure how to tell him that he is different that other kids… When did your parents told you that you had AS?

PS: I am also going to have to try the “Tell me something good, something bad, something happy something sad” thing. Hopefully, my little one will be more talkative about his days. Again, thank you for sharing your experience with us, other parents, as we are learning every day how we could make our special children feel happy.

Comment by Isabelle Johnson — November 6, 2009 @ 2:22 pm
And how did they tell you?

Comment by Isabelle Johnson — November 6, 2009 @ 2:26 pm
Matthew – I am a mother of a 28 yr old Aspie. We learned a lot later than you and your parents. He is still in much of the denial stage. What is your advice on getting through that stage?

He is now a parent to two small children.

Comment by dena — November 7, 2009 @ 1:11 pm
Hi Matthew, I really enjoyed your interview with your parents. We’re currently in the process of having our little boy diagnosed for Aspergers, so we’re new to this. He is such a fantastic little boy, but we worry so much for him. You’re an inspiration, and well done to both you and your parents. I hope we can do as good a job with our little boy.

Comment by Louise Mythen — November 8, 2009 @ 5:30 pm
Hi Matthew, Just the fact that you have thought about how it feels for your parents to raise a child with Aspergers makes you a very special person and obviously your mum and dad have taught you something that has sunken in and that is compassion. They should be very proud. I have a son with Pervasive Development Disorder:NOS and everyday i hope that the things i teach him will help him later in life. You have given me great hope.

Comment by Orchid Phillips — November 9, 2009 @ 6:14 am
Dear Matthew
Your parents must be feeling so very proud of you for conducting this interview. What a very clever boy you are! I have a 13 year old son with AS and he makes me laugh a lot of the time with the way that he interprets things. Sometimes he makes me feel really angry and sad but I will always love him with all of my heart. Thank you for showing us how clever people with AS really are. Well done! x

Comment by Tina — November 11, 2009 @ 10:26 am
Thanks Matthew for giving me hope. My son is 12 years old and its really tough for me right now i have hope.

Comment by sheryl washington — November 13, 2009 @ 11:33 am