Teenagers with Aspergers and Feet

Filed under:Behavior — posted by admin on February 3, 2009 @ 4:17 am

Hi there and welcome to this week’s blog from a very snowy South Coast of England. We so very rarely get any snow here so it’s quite a big deal. Last night I was out with my 20 month old daughter (Honey) who absolutely loved it. Unfortunately I decided that the cold roast potatoes from the fridge would make great “eyes” for the snowman … Sadly not; we ended up with a very greasy snowman’s head when the potatoes burst as I tried to shape them into eyes! Ah well who wants a perfect snowman anyway!

Latest on the new website is that I am still sorting a few things with the web designers but it should definitely be ready in March. I apologize hugely for the delays – as I know initially I told you that I was aiming for January, but it’s just been a mammoth task combining everything to make it work.

I am still writing and adding articles all the time; this week I’ve added articles on the following questions:

“We are divorced and each of us as a parent has our own way of handling the child. He’s confused due to this joint custody, so what do you advise?”

“Is there anything I can do to help me remember that his behaviors are not designed to irritate me and that to him they are needful or make sense?”

“My son talks incessantly; I don’t want to dent his confidence, but need some peace and quiet — how can I deal with this sensitively?”

Now on to this week’s article which is ….

Question

My teenaged son with Aspergers goes crazy when he sees a woman’s feet. He likes to touch them. I can’t go out anywhere because I always have this problem. When I try to stop him he turns violent and tries to hit me or hits himself. What can I do to help him?

Answer

Teens with Aspergers have a difficult time understanding sexual feelings and appropriate actions regarding sexual activities. Many times, the sexual interests of people with Aspergers, at your son’s age, are one-sided, not reciprocal, as it is when he touches the feet of women he doesn’t know. As you have seen, this results in some terribly difficult situations. Your son is unable to understand the rules that govern this type of behavior; he only knows that he must (as far as he is concerned) touch those feet! He misunderstands the situation and acts too intense and very inappropriately. His frustration when you try to stop him results in violence.

If all sense of proportion is lost, an obsession like his can lead to a criminal offense. A lack of concern for others can result in an assault that is damaging. People with Aspergers often lack insight into the feelings of others and deny responsibility for their actions; this is an inability to see inappropriate behavior as others see it. This situation is very serious because of the potential for arrest and prosecution. Sit him down and explain to him very graphically how the women feel when he approaches them and touches them. He must understand that they are terrified, don’t know what to do, and upset because this type of behavior in public is illegal. Tell him he could be arrested and put in jail. Repeat this – over and over.

Adults with Asperger’s, who have average or above IQs, report a high frequency of obsessions and compulsions that are intrusive, upsetting, and overwhelming.

People with Aspergers tend to be obsessive about their interests, so it’s no surprise that a lot of them are obsessed with sex. Reports have been made regarding these obsessions, but they haven’t been studied much. Sexual obsessions are more commonly reported by people with Aspergers who also were diagnosed with Obssessive/Compulsive Disorder. Compulsions occupied at least one to three hours per day in 26%, and 56% reported anxiety if prevented from performing their rituals.

It’s difficult to determine if your son’s behaviour is distinct as a sexually offensive behavior or one that is a manifestation of Asperger’s Syndrome, or both. The two are merged. He will continue this behavior unless intensive treatment is provided. His insight and ability to stop is extremely limited and you are not able to control him at his age and size.

Your son may well need professional counseling support. Consult with a psychotherapist familiar with both sexually offending behaviours and pervasive developmental disorders. Family psychotherapy and careful supervision are warranted. The therapist may recommend that he participate in group social skills training and group treatment for adolescents with sexually offending behaviours and pervasive developmental disabilities. A therapeutic, highly structured and supervised educational program would seem necessary.

Individuals with ASD who have obsessive-compulsive symptoms may benefit from standard treatments for OCD such as serotonin reuptake inhibitors as well as cognitive and behavioural therapies. Serotonergic drugs can reduce obsessions, although finding the right drug may take time and, once found, its effect may be partial and temporary. Also as ever; be mindful of any side effects.

The sooner you arrange for your son to get some help, the better.

Have a great week

Dave Angel

comments (12)

12 comments »

All of Dave’s advice is spot on, but you may try adding a new dimension to make it more tangible for your son. Talking things through sometimes does not have the desired effect because they can be very selective listeners – if fact he may actually enjoy hearing about his problem. How about writing an article, story, or cartoon strip about a
similar problem. This way you depersonalise it. Be sure to include the perspectives of everyone involved and perhaps paint the worst scenario – arrest. Take the episode as far as you can e.g. show the lady going home and telling her family, the parents being called to the police station, friends of the culprit gossiping about it, etc. Then include the outcome you would most want – lesson learned – counselling – etc.
Good luck!
K.I. Al-Ghani – (actually as a writer it has spurred my imagination!)

Comment by Kay — February 3, 2009 @ 5:36 am
Actually the writing thing is not bad advice at all as is dvd ’s or soemthing as i have a teenage daughter and for the best part of puberty that began at 9 even just life friendships and the like i could talk shout scream cry , even sit down distraction free on a good mood receptive kinda day and she even told me once when i spoke to her and i got on her nerves it was like bart simpsons head all she heard like him was blah blah blah !!! nothing like brutal honesty to make you feel great.Anyhow i could yap all year long but if she saw it transpire in another friends family or on a tv show or dvd then it was absolutely so, or read it in a magazine or book.
Especially other kids mam’s !!! which i guess can be all teens id try to say all day then a scenario may play out in the other persons family and then she could see it ??? So some kind of different medium for them to take it in might be great ….

Comment by helen hanson — February 3, 2009 @ 8:17 am
This sounds like our son at 15 yrs old! However, we are fortunate that now at 25 yrs old our son w/ high-functioning Asperger’s symptoms takes EMPower+ (see http://www.truehope.com) which is being studied and proven to help Aspie’s; and he also gets EFT tapping (see http://www.emofree.com), as traditional counselling didn’t help his obsessions. Thanks for the article Dave; we have another 14 1/2 yr old son with similar tendencies, but not as extreme…but it explained some things to me I wish I’d known earlier..Thanks again.

Comment by Jacalyn Miller — February 3, 2009 @ 8:18 am
dear dave, i have a step-son, sullivan,15, whom has aspergers. he has no intrest in any male figure in his life. this includes his father,grandfather and me.he is very obsessive cumpulsive,example-computer-batman,hours and hours.paces-back&forth constantly. walks in circles in front yard like he’s chasing rabbits. will absolutley not eat anything but pizza potato chips. watch t.v. as a family forget it! all he does is analyze and narrate the show. i love his mother but she does nothing to correct him or make him do anything that is out of his comfort zone.his sister takes the punishment all the time. example-when they come home from weekend at father my wife follows sully to room and ignores daughter. sits in room watching simpsons with sully. she does not want to upset sully in any way at any time.this is a big problem cause without confrontation nothing gets resolved. when we try to make him eat he gags and spits it out across the table.if we’re eating spagetti though my wife only has him eat a noodle without sauce. but she has him eat after everyone is away from table so he don’t get upset but if he don’t want it she wont make him eat it. he does see a psychologist thanks to me but my wife doesnt do what is recommended. why go? cause sully likes to see her. how can you help me to make my wife understand that sully needs a parent to show him right from wrong and he needs to eat what we all eat not junk food all the time. i mean this boy does not even know @15 how to hold a fork spoon or use a knife. its unbelievable! he hates me cause i feel he should have rules limits and chores just as any normal human does what can i do? am i wrong? he is not mentally retarded he can learn he can be productive and he can be self supportive if he is just taught or trained. i really do believe this but his mother will do nothing to upset him in any way. i got books, printouts and this computer and his mother wont read them cause she dont see all of this as a problem. I DO!!! Please help me! kerry

Comment by kerry — February 3, 2009 @ 8:58 am
Dave, I have a 19yr old grandson, we use to be in speratable.I’m a pca for him and ever time I go over there, he starts throwing things or hitting or kicking. His dad and brother have no trouble, he listen to them, but me he just gets angry.Is there anythin I can do to correct this.Is ther any medicene he can take to calm him down when I’m there. He is only taking vitamin B6. Love Grandma.

Comment by Beverly Weber — February 3, 2009 @ 9:43 am
Another idea: Is there anything that your son cannot tolerate having done to him? For instance, our daughter (a teen aspie) cannot tolerate being touched. After adopting 2 cats, she was constantly holding and hugging them to the point where they would cry out so I’d rescue them. We couldn’t get her to stop. Finally, my husband compared it to hugging HER! We asked her how she would like it if we were constantly hugging her. She finally understood. I realize our situation was not as severe as yours but used it as an analogy. Hope it helps!

Comment by Jan — February 3, 2009 @ 10:45 am
WE HAVE A 17 YR OLD DAUGHTER WHO IS OBESSED WITH WALKING SHE WORE A METER ONE DAY AT SCHOOL SHE WALKED 4 MILES IN THE DAY ,SHE IS 11TH GRADE ,SHE ALSO AS TORE DOWN MANY BEDS FROM THROWING HERSELF WEIGHING 245! MY BIG PROBLEM IS HOW DO YOU STOP THE PACING?WALKING?SHE IS WEARING OUT THE FLOORS THE CREAK AND CARPET WEARING DOWN ?ANY ADVICE?

Comment by Sheena Scott — February 3, 2009 @ 11:51 am
Concerning the truehope.com supplement mentioned above, I went to the website and checked out the ingredients. It has phenylalanine in it which is one of the ingredients in Aspartame and it can interfere with serotonin which can cause insomnia and depression. I know it did me when I tried to take it as a supplement. And it has glutamine in it, which can be good for the gut, but can also do the the same thing as glutamate (MSG) does in some folks along the spectrum. When I tried to take that supplement for the 4 weeks I was on it I could NOT sleep and thus was having severe migraines and severe melt downs to the point my care giver and friend was about ready to baker act me. I googled glutamine and the first 5 pages gave it a glowing recommendation but the 6th page had a very SEVERE warning about the extreme danger of using it. It can damage the brain! I tried to amend the Wikipedia article on it to add the warning and it did not stay added more than 5 minutes. Big Pharma has a rep for overstating the benefits of their products and working hard to suppress negative information, but it seems here we have the same problem with a suppliment. At least this tragic experience alerted me that MSG was one of my problems and I discovered the FDA allows it to hide in foods under 30 different names. Since avoiding MSG (and it is not easy) I have not had one melt down! And I am sleeping better and feeling much better.

Comment by Elizabeth Hensley — February 4, 2009 @ 11:25 am
I agree with the idea of a social story for your son. It should show his exact behavior and then the reaction of the other person, continue the story as you see it unfolding. Seeing it in photos, cartoons or best of all DVD gives him visual cues as well as you reading it with him. I have a camera with me at all times because I seem to finish one social story only to be faced with another odd behavior that we need to modify.
How does re react to pictures of feet, does he collect them? How about ugly feet, men’s feet etc??? Don’t forget that these kids are the most interesting humans and in all your spare time you could journal these unusual behaviors so some day you see how far you have come. Best of luck.

Comment by Becky Mitchell — February 4, 2009 @ 2:02 pm
Thanks Dave Angel. You are an angel. Your pages have helped me cope with and understand better my 26 year old HFAS daughter and her 53 year old HFAS father. If only I had had this guidance and information throughout my 23 year long marriage.

Comment by Jenny Jacobs — February 6, 2009 @ 7:55 am
I am not commenting on the noted article, but have a question. I am a LCSW who counsels children. A 5 year old I am seeing shows some behaviors which can be seen through the Asperger
s lens. He has not had much problem with school thus far, and Mom has only had two weeks to take data and consider my tentative hypothesis. Who should and how soon should a diagnosis be addressed. Either to diagnose or rule out?

Comment by Lillian — February 6, 2009 @ 11:33 am
my son is turning 14 in march and was only diagnosed before christmas.he a has problems sleeping and often misses two nighs a week sleeping.. what can i do and it is affecting me too

Comment by catriona kennedy — February 15, 2009 @ 6:13 pm