The thoughts of a 10 year old with Aspergers

Filed under:Other — posted by admin on January 21, 2009 @ 3:54 pm

Hi there it’s Dave Angel – As promised earlier this week here’s a really great insight into the life of a 10 year old boy with Aspergers written by Matthew Readman …

And Matthew; hopefully your mum will show you this on the blog – and I want to say a huge thank you for writing this excellent information that I know will help so many people out there …

So over to you Matthew:

“In grade 4, I was asked to write a book report on Frankenstein. One of the questions my teacher asked was “What character can I associate my self with and why? My answer was as follows:

I feel like the monster. All he wanted is to be accepted as he was, he didn’t have any social skills and tried to adjust to the world he knew. All the monster wanted was a friend. People kept being mean to him because he was different. The monster gets angry and then just wants to be left alone. I feel the same way as the monster. Because of my aspergers people see me as “the monster” because I don’t know sometimes how to act or do things normally. I try to adjust but when I fail people are mean to me too. All I want is a friend to like me just the way I am. The only difference between the monster and me is the monster kills when he’s angry and I just cry.

My teacher responded, “As people grow, they mature and are more capable of empathy. They are more capable to see the world through someone else’s eyes. Matthew, the people will learn that you are an amazing person with a spirit full of fun and love. I know I feel blessed to know you” Mrs. McKenna Clemens Mills P.S.

I have found people with disabilities are not alone. My parents have taught me if you search for help and guidance it is out there. My parents were greatly helped through Extend-a-Family. Our Case Manager Ken Lemon spent many hours with my parents helping us find funding and camps for me to attend. Ken and my mother found a camp named Camp Brebeuf were they had a one on one worker for me to help me cope with my social issues. It turned out to be the best time ever. I had my own special friend to guide me through situations where I would have never gotten through on my own. I was never treated as “special” but as an equal to everyone else. I actually felt for this short time as a normal boy.

I’m writing this article to tell other kids my age that help is out there, sometimes it takes a long time to find, but there are agencies and people who actually care. If it weren’t for Extend-A- Family I would have never found Camp Brebeuf and Through Camp Brebeuf I would have never been able to try new things or even socialize in a big group. Yes my Aspergers still haunts me at school or social gatherings, but through the last couple of years with the help of my teachers, agencies and the love of my parents I know one day maybe not for years, but one day I will be able to show the world that I and anyone with a disability is capable of great things.”

Matthew Readman

Age 10

Grade 5

comments (66)

66 comments »

This brings tears to my eyes! My son is in fourth grade, and he talks a lot about the isolation he feels. He just strives to have a friend and be accepted. He has been bullied so much, we try to use these times as learning life lessons. The teachers sure do make a difference for our children.

Comment by Janina — January 21, 2009 @ 4:18 pm
What a beautiful, insightful little boy – it made me cry reading it (I have a son about to turn who I am waiting for diagnosis of asperger’s – it’s a long, long road) At the moment he doesn’t know he has it but has told his outreach worker he has a ‘good side and a bad side – and he has no control over the bad one’ To hear a little boy the same age as mine talk about asperger’s so openly and honestly is truly enlightening! Thank you Matthew – that will stay with me for some time

Comment by Nicola — January 21, 2009 @ 4:35 pm
Bravo Matthew! Well said.

Comment by satscout — January 21, 2009 @ 4:41 pm
wow what a wonderful story my son has aspergers also but he cannot explain his feelings to me so this has helped me look at his problems a different way, he is also 10. thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and feelings.

Comment by suzanne addison — January 21, 2009 @ 4:42 pm
Bravo Matthew!

Comment by Christine — January 21, 2009 @ 4:47 pm
Thank you so much. I have a son who just turned 11 and he has aspergers’. I can’t wait to show him this article. He has so many outbursts, hitting his brother and sister, wanting to control everything and every situation. We need help badly.

Comment by Deanna Hodges — January 21, 2009 @ 4:47 pm
Great Matthew…it’s nice to hear about your experiences!

Comment by Donna Brown — January 21, 2009 @ 4:47 pm
Thank you Matthew for your insight. My boy is 10 and has aspergers and has a hard time as well.

Comment by Sheri — January 21, 2009 @ 4:48 pm
thank you for sharing. i have a son 6 hes very special too. he too has aspergers. He has trouble with bath room issues. can you help? he doesn’t like to go he pulls it back and has regressed? you are very special matthew. God blessed you with some very very special blessings.
you will understand as you get older. You are probably more smat than half your class room. I notice that my son puts his brother to shame when they play games on the xbox and My son is very loving and vales his family. as I bet you do too. I hope you will share more as it really helps to be aware of how things are for my son when hes 10 now hes only 6 (7next month)

Comment by linda — January 21, 2009 @ 4:49 pm
Thank you so very much for your insite. My son is also 10 and has Aspergers. Articles like this help me to understand what my son is going through and better help him. THank you so much for sharing this.

Comment by Nancy — January 21, 2009 @ 4:57 pm
great article really reminds people were are kids are coming from

Comment by BERNIE O'SULLIVAN — January 21, 2009 @ 5:12 pm
I really like what you wrtote Matthew!

Comment by RONNIE — January 21, 2009 @ 5:14 pm
Matthew,
Thank you! I know my son who is 12 with asd feels the same way because of what he has said. Keep going and know that there are many of us with you and you won’t be alone.

I know our faith in God keeps us going and me doing all I need to do for him. And to your mom I send her a bear hug because it is tough for the parents too.

Comment by Debra — January 21, 2009 @ 5:16 pm
I know you received a high score on your report! Matthew you really are good at putting how you feel in words. I think you should think about a career in writing.

Comment by Shirleyanne — January 21, 2009 @ 5:24 pm
I have a question. My son is 11 and he has Aspergers/ADHD. He has been doing really well in school. He is struggling with his reading. He has been able to come off all of his medication and he is doing good everywhere except for at home. At home I deal w/ a very ugly little boy. He yells and screams, I can not tell him anything without him thinking I was yelling at him. He never smiles and he is very abusive towards his sister. He hits, kicks and says mean things. When he goes to his dads, or my mothers none of these behaviors come out. Why is that? I am really struggling with rather he “hates” me and if he would be happier w/ his dad. He says he don’t want to go there but right now I feel like I am making his life miserable just by talking or looking at him. I am at the end of my rope. I don’t know what to do. I have spoke to his counselor and he is at as much at a loss as I am. Thank you for you time.

Comment by Dashelle — January 21, 2009 @ 5:29 pm
mathew , you are not alone in this world of indifferences , i as step parent with a daughter that is different , support and understanding of issues , we understand and try not to treat her any differently .

Comment by brett — January 21, 2009 @ 5:48 pm
well i think you are great! always remember that no one is perfect we all have faults and cannot please everyone the important thing is that you try your best and always be pround of yourself for that.your an inspiration to others mathew and good luck.

Comment by debby hesling — January 21, 2009 @ 5:55 pm
Thankyou Matthew. Keep writing your feelings down. You might write a book one day. God Bless you and your family.

Comment by Michelle — January 21, 2009 @ 6:27 pm
Bravo Matthew and I am so thankful you have a teacher who understands and appreciates you. I am fighting to get my 12 year old son an education provided at home because he was bullied in all the schools he attended. I am going to send the link to this to the school in the hope they too will learn some empathy. God Bless you and may you have a happy life :0)

Comment by Jools — January 21, 2009 @ 6:32 pm
Well done Matthew for those inspirational thoughts…i see alot of what you have said in my 10 year old daughter who has asd. I am still battling her education as she struggles in the mainstream environment but reading your views helps me to believe there is the help out there for her. I will keep looking! All the best in your future, Elaine.

Comment by Elaine — January 21, 2009 @ 7:02 pm
I am thankful that there are programs out there for kids with AS these days. I was not lucky enough to have any help growing up with AS- since this was an unknown dx until I was in my mid-twenties. I can relate all too well to the monster in Frankenstein, but unfortunately, the world that I am living in now is more understanding of children with disabilities than those of adults. Those of us that live AS and also have children that are on the Autism Spectrum have an especially difficult time being accepted for who we are, but I know my children will one day have a teacher such as Matthew’s that will accept them and in doing so, teach them that the world is made up of many kinds of people.

Comment by Stacy — January 21, 2009 @ 7:20 pm
Matthew, It is only because of brave people like you, that the predjudice will stop! I think you are awesome. On behalf of my son that will be 19 next month…THANK YOU!

Comment by kim — January 21, 2009 @ 7:22 pm
You go Matthew, my 15yr old has experienced the same as you and I did home school him that very year,I yanked him out of school and never looked back. Now 2 yrs later at the rip old age of 15 he is more outgoing so dont let ANYONE DAMPER YOU SPIRITS the monsters are them and they cant hurt you as long as you are in control…

Comment by Suzi — January 21, 2009 @ 7:28 pm
Mathew, you are one of the bravest boys I know. I have a 10 yr old son also and he has said many of the same things that you just said. You have family that love you and that will always be your foundation for growth. God Bless you always.

Comment by Michele — January 21, 2009 @ 7:51 pm
it’s great to hear from an aspie with a positive outlook! kudos to you! my 10 year aspie is still resisting the little bit of help we’ve found for him, but we will never give up and neither should you!

Comment by Tricia Hackworth — January 21, 2009 @ 8:09 pm
After reading what you wrote Matthew, it just hit me that it sounds like my son. I feel proud for you, and it will be people like you, my son and others who will make a difference in the world. Good for you!!!!!!!!!

Comment by cheryl — January 21, 2009 @ 8:12 pm
Hi Matthew I am 8 years old, I feel the same way as you do. I don’t have any friends either. I try not to pay attention to mean kids.I would love to be friends.

Comment by Myles Blake — January 21, 2009 @ 8:12 pm
This was great reading. I’ll be sure to have my 11-year-old aspie read it.

Comment by Camil — January 21, 2009 @ 8:12 pm
Matthew you are awesome> Thankyou for sharing your life with us. Never give up. God has his arms around you and will carry you thur your times in need. God Bless you and your family.

Comment by kareng — January 21, 2009 @ 8:36 pm
Matthew, When I think of the story of Frankenstein I always feel he is the best character and star of the story…but today Matthew “You are the star” fabulous job buddy!

Comment by linda zaydel — January 21, 2009 @ 8:53 pm
Way to go Matthew, my grandson did find help, but it to took awhile and people who understood his feelings and worked with him. Thanks for writing your article.

Comment by Audrey — January 21, 2009 @ 9:18 pm
Thank you Matthew for being so open about your feelings. My 14 year old grandson is going thru the same thing and by the grace of God he has found a youth group at a local church that has been very accepting and dedicated to helping him to ‘fit in’. He has as well had a couple of teachers that could see just how special he is. God knows how special you are also and I know He will support you and your family as you go through this process.

Comment by Sandy — January 21, 2009 @ 9:41 pm
Bravo. this is a good read

Comment by geraldine — January 21, 2009 @ 10:17 pm
Good on you Matthew. Don’t ever give up. Your experiences mirror my son’s and he’s really improving in social situations. Keep us posted on your progress.

Comment by Peter — January 21, 2009 @ 10:47 pm
My son is also 10 years old and in 4th grade. I know he can relate to Matthew’s story. Way to go, Matthew. Thank you for sharing. I’m printing it so my son can read it and know he’s not alone.

Comment by Tina — January 21, 2009 @ 11:00 pm
Matthew you are a talented writer. I hope to read a book written by you one day.

Comment by Debbie Whitear — January 21, 2009 @ 11:08 pm
Your story is amazing. My son is 13 and I want so bad to know how he is feeling. I would love to get him in some sort of camp like you mentioned. I want him to feel like he has a real friend. You are an amazing young man. Thanks for the article.

Comment by Nicki Ivey — January 22, 2009 @ 2:57 am
well done mathew,it was nice to read your story you keep it up,one day i may be reading your book.

Comment by terry — January 22, 2009 @ 5:46 am
You are a very bright and insightful young man. I have an 8 yr old son with Asperger’s – he has trouble making friends and says no one plays with him at school – am thinking about maybe home schooling him. The thing is – its other kids loss not to play with him because he is such a beautiful person when you take time to get to know him. You are a really gifted writer Matthew – keep with it and always know it’s good to be yourself

Comment by janeen — January 22, 2009 @ 6:58 am
Thank you for sharing. I’m a 14 year old boy with Asperger. That is just how I feel now

Comment by Hazim Dean — January 22, 2009 @ 7:42 am
Well done for explaining your feelings so well. My 10 year old son also has similar feelings. You are not a monster, and with the love and help you have around you, you will one day know this. p.s. Your teacher sounds great!

Comment by Ms J L Patterson — January 22, 2009 @ 8:15 am
Matthew,
You are AMAZING! Your teacher was right that you are an INCREDIBLE young man! You brought hope to me in regards to my 4year old and what the future holds! THANK YOU!

Comment by Joan — January 22, 2009 @ 9:25 am
Well Done Matthew, you are so mature with your feelings. I reckon your peers would envy you. i find that Childen with AS.really do have such special qualities. I would really like to hear about your camp. I haven’t found anything like it heare in the uk, but would love to find out more about it. Maybe your mum and you could tell us more???

Comment by Caroline Dawson — January 22, 2009 @ 9:28 am
Matthew – thank you for sharing! I will be sharing your writing with others so that they know they are not alone. I work in a school where we all work together with a variety of needs. I celebrate all students entering the building as this is what society is – a variety people with unique needs. We work hard to try and make school a place to learn how society works or I should say how it should work. For those of you who homeschool, I give you credit. I know what kind of resources are provided at our school in order to support families. I cannot imagine going it alone. The students who I work with who have ASD make me smile every day – even on the tough ones. They are all strong kids who are navigating a world that does not always make sense. Their perserverance is commendable.

Comment by caring school — January 22, 2009 @ 9:51 am
Very interesting article. My son will soon be 12 and is fighting to fit in – has since he was in kindergarten. At six, he screamed in the car – why am I different? I pulled him out of public school when he was 8 because of all of the bullying. He had trouble with the concept of sharing – the basketball net…wanted it all to himself; didn’t understand when the ball was thrown by someone else and accidentally hit him. I put him in a special needs private school for 2 years when he was more accepted and was in a small group setting. Since then, he entered public school again this past year (for 5th grade). There’s been quite a few roadbumps, but he’s starting to find his niche. He has had a lot of occupational therapy and speech therapy where he’s practiced social skills. He’s better but still pretty angry about being “different”. Being different, however, has had its perks. He can play the trumpet like nobody’s business. He is moved by music and likes to draw. His passion is to become a pilot and I really hope he makes it there! We need to get his emotions in check before that can happen, but he does know that. This bullying is really awful to experience. Nothing makes your heart grow sadder at the thought that when your son leaves your home, he’s entering a world of ridicule! I stay on top of this, though; I have good communication with the principal of his school – and his teacher. My son has been embraced by each teacher throughout the years for the most part – overall, that has been a good experience. We also have found a good and small church where he’s fitting in. Thanks for sharing your feeling with us. Finding someone “just like you” may or may not happen- since there’s probably not another just like you! My only advice to you would be (as I’ve watched my son) to not become bitter. Kids your age lack empathy for others that are different so don’t feel too different on this emotion. I spend everyday working with kids at recess on not bullying others and accepting differences. Hopefully, it’s making a difference. Hang in there kiddo. This will not last forever!!!

Comment by Susan — January 22, 2009 @ 9:55 am
wow thank you for sharing your story Matthew. My nearly 18 year old son, I’m sure will understand how you feel. It’s good to know you have caring parents and a thoughtful teacher.

Comment by alison — January 22, 2009 @ 10:34 am
Wow! what a grown up head you have on your 10 year old shoulders Matthew! I so wish the rest of the world was as mature and understanding as you! Don’t ever let the rest of society change you or your attitude to life. It’s precious and you deserve to live it to the full, the same as anyone else (neurotypical or not!) All the best for the future Matthew, I hope you fulfill your dreams xx (Kiss for you and your mom)

Comment by Kate Smith — January 22, 2009 @ 12:37 pm
Hi Matthew
You have the soul of a very big person in body of a kid. My son has had the same problems from the very childhood now he is in college still having difficulties from time to time……. we try to understand him as much as we can.its a long and sometimes unending journey. Be brave and look ahead as you are doing now.

Comment by nariman — January 22, 2009 @ 2:49 pm
Matthew,
Thank you for sharing this. I have a 10 1/2 year old son who has Asperger’s and even though he is getting better at talking and being in social situations, it is difficult for me to know how he feels and what the world is like for him. Your comments I hope will help start a conversation with him to I can better understand where he is coming from. And your teacher is right: You, and other children who have Asperger’s (which I do not believe is a disability) are exceptional children from whom all of us, children and adults alike, can learn a great deal.
Thank you again, and thanks to your parents for being willing to have your comments out there.
All the best,
Ms. Heather Clark

Comment by Ms. Heather Clark — January 22, 2009 @ 6:25 pm
Matthew what a awesome kid you are and so very bright. I have a son your age going through the same things in life and I’m so proud of him. Just like your mom is proud of you. I’ve always told my son God made all of different and if we were the same it would be a boring place. Now he tells that to other kids when they say things not so pleasant things. My son is in 4th and has made several friends this year and is just being himself. I want you to continue doing what you are doing because that’s what makes you so special. Always know that you have a awesome family and they truly love you and that is what matters. You are truly smart and those other kids don’t know what they are missing not having you in there lives. Keep up the great work.

Comment by Angela Read — January 22, 2009 @ 10:14 pm
Hi Matthew!
My name is Rachel and I am 10 years old, just like you.
Do you know what – I have Asperger’s Syndrome, just like you!
It’s really amazing how you worked through all that hardship and you are a really, really amazing person.
Here’s a few tips for you – even when all seems bad, don’t give up searching for something good and don’t give up trying to help people – in other words, DON’T GIVE UP!
I think God is very proud of people who just don’t give up!
Lots of love, Rachel.

Comment by Rachel — January 22, 2009 @ 10:30 pm
Hi Matthew. I am 10 years old just like you and I have Asperger’s Syndrome too!
You’re a really amazing person to have been through all that hardship. Here’s a few tips for you: even when all seems bad, don’t give up looking for something good and don’t give up trying to help people – in other words, don’t give up!
God has a special place in Heaven for those who just don’t give up!
Lots of love, Rachel x o x o
P.S. Have a great rest of this year 2009!

Comment by Rachel — January 22, 2009 @ 10:41 pm
Alex,
It was amazing to share your strength.
My daughter Kaelyn will be 10 in April, she goes through so much with her feelings and meltdowns.
I will let her read your blog and let her know she is not alone.
Thank You and God Bless you
Ailene Koffer

Comment by Ailene Koffer — January 23, 2009 @ 12:00 am
Great Matthew!
We definitly see you in future doing real thing to the world as a key contributer.
God Bless YouBelt

Comment by Belt — January 23, 2009 @ 2:00 am
You are such a FANTASTIC and SPECIAL boy, and your mum is a special lady to be raising you. I will show what you have written to my 10year old Aspie. He seems to identify with his emotions more when he reads something that another child with the same difficulties has written rather than myself or his dad trying to explain everything,and it helps him to know that other children of his age feel the same. Keep writing your feelings down Matthew. X

Comment by Diane — January 23, 2009 @ 5:17 am
Matthew, you are the same age as my Matthew who also has Aspergers’ and ADHD, by reading your well written blog, I gained more of an insight on my Matthew’s world. Thank you for sharing! and God Bless you!

Comment by Liliana — January 23, 2009 @ 10:20 am
Your story is AMAZING, Matthew..The more time I spend in the world of Asbergers, the more convinced that YOU are the normal ones. It is the rest of the world that should be seeking help. May you continue to be surrounded with love and understanding adults in your life!! One of my Aspie boys is 10, just like you.

Comment by Katie — January 23, 2009 @ 12:30 pm
Thank you for sharing your story, Matthew!

Comment by Cathy Hartman — January 23, 2009 @ 1:08 pm
Keep writing!!! You have great talent for expressing your feelings in a way others can understand and relate to. Aspie and non-Aspie alike of all ages. Use your talents well!

Comment by KB Stallings — January 23, 2009 @ 3:38 pm
Matthew you are my hero.I hope my son can express himself so well by the time hes ten.your fantastic

Comment by emma — January 24, 2009 @ 12:56 pm
I am confident that your obvious talent in expression will be that bridge to frienship, Matthew. And soon, you’ll make a “monster” out of circumstances. Brilliant!!!

From Aspie to Aspie… Write On!

Comment by Jwyan C. Johsnon — January 26, 2009 @ 3:05 am
I am going to make sure my 13 year old reads Matthew’s entry! I know he has felt like Frankenstein too. Sometimes he says to me, “Mom, I just wish people knew what it feels like.” Thanks Matthew, YOU ROCK!!

Comment by Sue Orr — January 27, 2009 @ 4:48 pm
Matthew
Well done! You certainly have a talent for writing and I’m sure one day this amazing gift will bring inspiration and hope to many people with aspergers.
Lynne

Comment by Lynne Anderson — January 29, 2009 @ 5:37 am
All I can say is thank you Matthew for letting me see through my Eli’s eyes. He is also ten and feels as you do. Your sharing will help me to help him. When he comes home from school today I will have him read your letter so he has a new friend in you. (smile) Again THANK YOU!

Comment by Lori Ann — January 29, 2009 @ 10:20 am
thank you so much for putting your feeling to paper. it has helped me to gain a real insight into my sons situation. he is 11 and will be going on to high school this year. i am so worried about the bullying issue because it has been pretty bad in his primary school already. he has threatened suicide because of it. if only other people were as wise and thoughtful as you, matthew. good luck with your very bright future. x

Comment by heidi davis — January 30, 2009 @ 4:11 am
Matthew on reading what you wrote it gave me a bit of insite of what my 10 year old boy with Aspergers is going through…thank youand God bless, Diane

Comment by Diane — March 15, 2009 @ 6:39 pm