The Truth about Aspergers and Bullying in School …

10 comments »

1. I wish it were that simple. Part of the problem with kids with Aspergers is that the bullying can also be perceived, not necessarily real or intentional on the other kids’ part. My son does get bullied, but there are also times that he minconstrues a situation, and calls it bullying. He has an older sister by 5 years. There was some teasing when they were younger, but not much given their age difference. I’ve noticed that oftentimes there is just ‘boyish’ teasing, just like siblings do, and my son calls it ‘bullying’, and overreacts. I have 6 brothers, and I have watched how boys ‘play’ and tease each other. For most kids, they can banter and tease, and not take it seriously, or mean it seriously. Whether it’s the Aspergers, or the lack of teasing in our household, my son has not learned that it may be just innocent teasing and ‘posturing’, and not bullying. With Aspergers, he does not necessarily have the ability to discriminate between the two.
   We’ve had to ‘coach’ my son on trying to pick up clues, before things escalate. And of course, to self-advocate. It is a skill they HAVE to learn. (especially if they’re ever going to move our of your house!)

   Comment by Carren Abrams — April 28, 2009 @ 7:52 am

2. Bullying is socially unacceptable and my child over reacting to imaginary or real bullying is socially unacceptable as well.
   I have found that it is incredibly difficult to get my child to understand why his behaviour is wrong and to try and change it. (I have been trying to get the same social concept through to him since he was two and he still hasn’t got it. He’s 15 now)
   I imagine parents of children who bully might have similar problems.
   (Perhaps a bully needs therapy to do with empathy or lack of self esteem, if the only way they can feel good about themselves is by putting other people down?)
   Surely the root reason why anyone behaves in a socially unacceptable manner is because there is something wrong with the social part of their brain.
   If a child is completely normal surely behaviour such as bullying wouldn’t occur.
   I have met lucky children who can take on social concepts after one explanation and others that never understand.
   I agree that society needs to be protected, but in some ways, bringing down societies wrath and condemnation on people who behave wrongly seems inappropriate. Their behaviour is down to a deficiency in the social brain.
   Training someone with such a deficiency to reach societies standards of behavior might be like trying to bring someone who is naturally bad at maths up to A level standard. It might not be possible and unlike maths, it is a challange that can’t be avoided.

   Comment by Nicola Cooper — April 28, 2009 @ 8:47 am

3. I understand why the child is homeschooled, and I also agree with Dave Angel’s plan to deal with bullies. Even though he lives in the UK, he understands the American school system well.
   However, is homeschooling and sheltering your child from the “big, bad, cruel world” going to help him or her in the long run? In short, how are we going to teach our children how to deal with bullies. My daughter has AS or is a HFA and was bullied in school. I taught her to stand up for herself and her rights and I believe she succeeded. She went on to high school where she had a group of close friends, including a girl with Down Syndrome whom the rest of the group protected from bullies. She received her diploma and went on to trade school where she became an auto mechanic and learned to deal with further adult bullying and teasing in the work place.

   Comment by Mary Minshall — April 28, 2009 @ 11:37 am

4. I can understand the part about the situations being turned all upside down because of misunderstanding. My son with PDD got in trouble a LOT and was even accused of bullying, particularly girls because he “hates them” – and most of it was that he can’t react appropriately socially and can’t read correctly the social cues they are sending. The good thing is that (1) since he was co-diagnosed ADHD and put on appropriate medication, he is far less reactive and (2) over time the boys in his class have come to have a rather protective attitude toward him and try very hard to help him keep away from girls and “stay good”. By “over time” I mean years, not just his current class but his age-mates that have come up with him since kindergarten in his school. His tendency towards physical acts is far less than it was, but he still has trouble with making faces when he gets near girls, and gets told to leave them alone (especially by the morning bus driver). I suspect this is still going to be an issue for a while. He’s only 9.

   Comment by satscout — April 28, 2009 @ 1:37 pm

5. Do you think this punishment fits the crime. A certain 15 year old young man was in a special school classroom with younger pupils. He was a little bully but did nothing too bad. The teachers expelled him for 2 days and also stopped his horse riding class after school. All he did was look after the pupils mobile and charge them a pound a week. The school also threatened to tell the police and called it money laundering.

   Comment by helen — April 30, 2009 @ 3:23 pm

6. Today 1 in 150 children will be diagnosed with some sort of autism related disorder. With the numbers that staggering I think it is time we start educating the other 149 people about autism disorders. They need to understand that these autistic children are NOT retarded. This needs to start in the schools, in the elementary grades. Rather then bullying these kids, the other children need to embrace them and try to help teach them what is considered “normal”. Maybe if we educated the public and put a more positive spin on autism and aspergers we could help put an end to some of the bullying that is going on.

   Comment by jan poehlmann — May 1, 2009 @ 11:19 am

7. My grandson who was diagnosed about 3 years ago and is a senior this year and has been bullied ever since he hit the senior high school. He used to love school and was on the honor roll. Now he hates school because of the bulling.We have called the school many times and they never done anything. They called my son and told him that my grandson doesn’t need to go to school any more till he graduates, that he has all of his credits. My son thinks they just want to get rid of him because of the bulling. They want to bush it under the rug so to speak. You are right the school systems need to do something but they won’t. I’m just a loving grandmother and I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH. It hurts to see him hurt so much.

   Comment by Maryann — May 5, 2009 @ 1:36 pm

8. It’s not the best idea to say Asperger’s kids have low “social IQ” because there simply is no IQ where social matters are concerned, as it varies from person to person and has nothing to do with intelligence. Asperger’s kids only tend to be late in developing the skills of many of the kids around them.

   Comment by Olivia — May 12, 2009 @ 1:11 am

9. the SOCIAL skills, I mean.

   Comment by Olivia — May 12, 2009 @ 1:12 am

10. My son has recently been diagnosed with aspergers after a horrible year, for us all, with a Year One teacher who was one of the worst bullies I have ever come across.She had no interest in trying to understand him and undermined him constantly in front of the entire class. I even witnessed her allowing older children to shout at him while she just stood by. Our teacher parent relationship broke down so badly that the school counculler suggested a session together which she lied her way through to cover up what was actually happening in her classroom Sadly I don’t think we are alone in having had this experience. My tolerance level towards any adult who behaved like that again would be non-existant. We were not the only family who were unhappy with our children being in her “care”and I can report that she is no longer teaching. Please excuse the spelling I am a bit of a ludite with the spell check and computers in general.

    Comment by Ella, — May 13, 2009 @ 1:35 pm

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