Hi there and welcome to this week’s Parenting Aspergers blog article.

Just to update you I have now completed my new ebook “Surviving the Summer Holidays” – at the moment only members of The Parenting Aspergers Community have access to it (which is just one of the benefits of membership at www.ParentingAspergersCommunity.com) …

But don’t worry because I am going to sending out an email in the next few days to everyone about getting a copy too – so look out for that email.

Anyway here’s this week’s article …

Question

It is frustrating not being able to change or modify behaviors such as diet, social skills, and motivation.  Are there any new techniques you could recommend?

Answer

Most children with Asperger’s Syndrome struggle with social skills, communication, and a limited diet.  The causes of these struggles: social, communication, and behavioral problems, along with sensory issues, can create the desire for isolation and a lack of motivation.  Children with Asperger’s easily drop into a lonely state of depression, making the original problems that much worse.

Behavior modification is the most popular area of concentration when treating kids with Asperger’s Syndrome.  Social skills therapy and living skills therapy are widely available and do bring about effective progress in most cases.  However, you are looking for something new to try.

Motivation is the key to improving your child’s circumstances.  Actually, motivation is a factor anytime you are seeking to modify any child’s unwanted behaviors.  Now motivation in itself is definitely an old concept, but using motivation in a new way will create the wanted result for your child.

Old Motivation

As parents, we often use set motivators to achieve the behavior we feel is appropriate.  The concentration has been placed on the behavior, which sets a negative tone to the process of change.  You can’t blame a child for reacting negatively to a negative tone.

*    Punishment-“If you don’t do ______, then you will get ______!”   We all use this at one time or another and over the course of time, it has proven to be an ineffective motivator.
*    Rewards or bribery- “If you do ______ today, I’ll buy you a ______.”  We’re guilty of this one, too.  This probably creates more confusion and greed than motivation over time.

New Motivation

Motivators should be positive.  It feels good to see your child happily learning or cooperating in desired behaviors.  Motivators that appeal to the individual child should be used for maximum results.  Motivation is definitely personal.  What motivates one child will not work for every child.

*    Special Interests-Using your child’s special interests both at home and at school can generate positive responses in all situations.  For example, your child’s love of trains can be used to encourage eating at home.  Train themed dinnerware or even themed foods may be used to entice the reluctant eater.

*    Routines-Keeping your child’s routines constant will improve his outlook.  He’ll know what to expect at any given time, lessening the stress he feels.

Finally, “The Motivation Breakthrough” by Richard Lavoie is the perfect resource for someone looking for new techniques to motivate their child with Asperger’s Syndrome.  The author provides proven, effective tools and strategies parents and teachers can use to encourage any child to learn and achieve success.

Have a great week,

Dave Angel

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Articles posted this week at The Parenting Aspergers Community

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Food is a big problem diet has reduced to very few items he will eat survives on toast, bread, rolls, milk, scotch finger biscuits, Smiths original crinkle cut crisps. Smells are also a big problem and younger brother copies his older brother. What can I do?

Food issues can be a serious concern for children with Asperger’s Syndrome. Most of the food issues stem from sensory integrations issues the children may have. Typically, children with Asperger’s will want to eat foods that are the same color, or the same texture. Foods that have strong smells will be avoided. Children with Asperger’s have a tough time with …To read the full article go to: -

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/275.cfm
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We are trying to know how high to set the bar or what kinds of expectations we should help set for our 16 year old son.  He seems so capable sometimes and so clueless/lost at other times.  Any advice?

Teenagers are often a puzzle. One minute they seem totally clueless and other times they come across as sharp as a tack. There is definitely an age factor at play. Kids in the mid-teen years conveniently bounce between being a child and becoming an adult as the need arises. Not purposely, of course, they are just trying to find their place in life. Asperger’s Syndrome does not change this reality. Due to the additional struggles that Asperger’s brings with it, the teen years can be extremely difficult. This is a time of …To read the full article go to: -

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/276.cfm
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My son is 14.  Due to his physically violent outbursts towards me and his younger brother with Asperger’s, he now attends residential school during the week.  Weekends are so unpredictable with his behavior.  He is very verbally abusive towards me, calling me all sorts of horrible names, and then the following weekend he will present me with chocolates and tell me I am the best mum in the world.  I try to ignore all the bad behavior and praise the good.  We try to make weekends well structured and centered on my eldest son, but he still seems to treat the house terribly.  What can I do to change his way of thinking?  He does tend to box things.  School says he is the model student.  He has been at this school for a month.  The other two secondary schools he was excluded from due to his behavior.  How can I change the behavior?

Having a child with Asperger’s affects the whole family. As parents, you see the special strengths, as well as the individual weaknesses of your Asperger’s child. You work to get this child the help he needs to be successful at home, at school, and in life. This child takes a lot of time and work on your part, but he’s worth every minute of the time you spend now. Your hope is that, in the future, he’ll …

To read the full article go to: -

http://www.parentingaspergerscommunity.com/members/274.cfm
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